Sgt Invincible can take Chuch Norris

sgtinvincible

If you spell Sgtinvincible wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean sgtinvincible?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

Sgtinvincible was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Once a cobra bit Sgtinvincible's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Sgtinvincible was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

Giraffes were created when Sgtinvincible uppercutted a horse.

Sgtinvincible runs Windows Vista on his Etch-a-Sketch.

Sgtinvincible sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Sarge roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Sgtinvincible once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

laurenk182004

LMAO that is so awesome

shorerider

* There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Sgt. Invincible allows to live.

* There is no chin under Sgt. Invincible' Beard. There is only another fist.

* Sgt. Invincible uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

* Sgt. Invincible once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

* Crop circles are Sgt. Invincible' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

* The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Sgt. Invincible out. It failed miserably.

* If you ask Sgt. Invincible what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

* When Sgt. Invincible sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Sgt. Invincible has not had to pay taxes, ever.


* Sgt. Invincible is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.


* Sgt. Invincible doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

* If you spell Sgt. Invincible in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

* Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Sgt. Invincible once and he will roundhouse you in the face.

* The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Sgt. Invincible played in second grade.

* Sgt. Invincible once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Sgt. Invincible re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

* Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Sgt. Invincible's warm-up exercises.

* Sgt. Invincible can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

* Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Sgt. Invincible.

* When Sgt. Invincible goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

* There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Sgt. Invincible has breathed on.

fatsis

Sarge is like cheap toilet paper.. neither will take crap off ya.