Un-supportive family?

Lacey9693

Sometimes I think husbands are unsupportive because you are getting thinner and he may feel a little threatend and maybe in the back of his head that you may leave him. My sister lost some weight and her husband was like this two , he didn't want her to lose any weight because he thought she was going to leave him, the problem is that he is almost 400lbs and wants to keep her fat like him. One time a guy asked him how much weight has your wife loss and he got very jealous. Just let your husband know that you are doing this for your health and your children.

♥Violette♥4Ever♥

How much does your husband weigh? Dump him and add the pounds to your totals.

I agree with Polo. Your husband is afriad you are going to get too much attention from other men.

dlaplume2

Food is a very emotional thing for many people. Probably why we are all here. Maybe your husband is reacting that way because of his issue with food. Maybe he feels like you are not eating his because you're mad at him or don't like his cooking. I think if you can complimetn his cooking and just state that you want to lose weight, before he says anything he won't get so upset. You might need to have a heart to heart with him. Not around the dinner table, to see where he is coming from. Maybe he is afraid of you getting skinny.
If he is cooking you dinner and offering you desert it shows he cares, he just may be expressing it the wrong way.

digby765

Ask him what he's scared of:blushing:

tater8589

I bet he's the one who buys the ice cream, too? That's how it is in my family. My husband thinks the rest of the family shouldn't have to "suffer" because I (and one of my daughters) don't have self control around food. So he buys chips, ice cream, and orders pizza a lot. I buy alot of fruit and veggies and eat a frozen Weight Watchers pizza as they eat Papa John's. Our younger daughter is now starting to have a weight problem and he still insists that overeating is our issue, he's always been lean and he'll encourage her to exercise, but there's no way he'll stop buying what he likes to eat. He has agreed to hide his "goodies" at least, but doesn't always remember. Honestly, that is part of the reason I am on MFP. There is support here when there's none at home.

Good luck to you!

Also sending friend request...

Personally (and please don't take this wrong) I believe in everything (mostly) in moderation. However if something is a 'trigger' food then it should be avoided until control is easier and its inconsiderate of him to consistantly bring it infront of you and your daughter who are trying hard to do things right. May also suggest that if diet isn't the total issue you and your daughter may want to have the dr do a thyroid test. My mom and I have hypothyroid which makes it significantly harder to lose weight, even with healthy diet and exercise. I wish you both good luck

I actually do have an underactive thyroid...which is why I try extra hard to watch what I eat. I just recently got up to what appears to be a good dosage of levothyroxine, but I still have weight to lose. I should check on my daughter, too--she's only 9 and it seemed like it's something adults get, but that may not be true. Thanks for mentioning it!

Hey no prob, there are a few older posts on here from people discussing it here, some people I've noticed were diagnosed when they were kids. I'm still trying to get treatment, my drs are hesitant cause I'm borderline-- they only tested me because my mom came up positive. I guess gaining 20lbs+ in one month is normal in their books (ugg, military drs. some can be so lazy)

bekdavis

it sounds like he is a bit insecure. you are taking a stand and doing something positive for yourself, and clearly he is not. What better way to make him feel better than to take your positive and direct the attention towards himself.

.... it too would punch him!

thomasvision

I know a lot of people who have dealt with this. Men and women. The problem a lot of the time is the spouce or significant other thinks once the person loses the weight they will leave them, have more options, or lose interest in them. A lot of men that start to get like this when their wives want to lose weight get insecure because they feel other men will start to look at their wife.

IF you want the relationship to work you need to ask him DIRECTLY why does he have a problem with you losing weight. Then reassure your spouce that your new lifestyle has a place for them but they HAVE to be supportive of it. You have to be firm that the new healthy you is here to stay. Its also nice for men and women to know that once you lose all the weight your not going anywhere.

The less servere cases I've seen is that the spouce is content with their unhealthy lifestyle and don't want you being a buzzkill on their mindless eating with no conscience. Again let them know that this is the new you and if they love you and want you to be happy they MUST support you.

Unless your spouce or significant other is abussive,controllin, or crazy they should completely understand and be onboard after you
have this conversation with them.

Hope this helps!

superwmn

Tell him exactly how to love and support you and how important this is to you.

Charmagne

GURLEY_GIRL3

Punch him on the nose :devil:

LMAO!!!

maybe if you showed him how you have to log your food he would get a better idea? if not, throat punch....:devil:

LOL I'm down for the throat punch idea!
Without knowing anything about you or your relationship it's hard to say. Some guys get insecure when their wife wants to lose weight in fear that she will get more attention, or seek someone else with her hot new body. I would explain to him you're trying to lose weight. Show him the website. Explain why proper portions are good, and why ice cream isn't good :-\ Then tell him he needs to be supportive of what you're trying to accomplish. If he has a problem after that, then you need to ask him, and address it. Maybe he feels if you lose weight, he will have to do the same? Again, withouth knowing you, these are some ideas. And if there don't work....kicking him square in his @$$ is a great way to start exercising :-)

GURLEY_GIRL3

I AGREE W/ THIS

hotllamarama

dont worry about what he thinks, you're doing this for YOU. That's all that matters

margie_77

You didn't gain the weight over night, it was a life style. He is used to you in that life style.
You made a choice to change your life style, he didn't. That can be scary!! How is he to know where the changes are going to stop? Under it all, he's probably nervous that you might expect him to change, or that you might find someone different. Guys are just as insecure as us, they just don't show it the same.
Once he sees that your new life style change is just a healthier one, and that your not trying to change everything about your life, he'll get on board. Just reassure him and give him time to get used to it

necki696

I like the punch in the face lol... I'm in the same boat as you... my boyfriend is a chef who loves to eat unhealthy so that is always an agurement but we work opposite schedules so my in work out in my favor. But he gives me a really hard time about going to a gym (which I work there as my second job). He feels on my days off I shouldn't go and workout. I've been debating that all week. If he isn't going to be supportive of me i'm probably going to tell him he's gotta go. (Maybe I'll try punching him in the face first lol)

marysunshine41

So sorry to hear that! Is he overweight? Maybe he is insecure and thinks you will lose weight and leave him behind. Maybe you could find new healthy recipes and cook together. Also, Weight Watchers has delicious frozen treats that taste great without the guilt. I hope in time you will get the support from him that you deserve, but if not, try not to let his negativity make you lose your focus. Maybe you can find a friend who would like to join you and exercise and lose weight as well. You can always find support here at Myfitnesspal! Focus on YOU! Good luck!

julianpoutram

My mum wont buy weighing scales or take an interest in my logging of calories. It really hinders my development.

hemlock2010

My husband used to be the same way. I think his opposition to my healthy food choices was because he felt like he needed to be in control. To change that, I had to show him that he could NOT control my food choices, but that he would still be okay.

My way of doing that was to have a very simple message and stay on message all the time: I am doing this because it is healthy for me. I am not going to try to force you to do it. You can be nice about it, or you can be a pita, but I'm not going to change my mind.

Eventually he got it. The thing is, though, that my husband's control issues are about food, not really about me. He had a really troubled childhood, which left him with a lot insecurities that are expressed in his need to control food. When you're deciding how to handle this with your husband, you need to be clear about why he wants to control what you eat. Is he insecure and afraid you will take away his comfort food? If that's it, then you just need to show him that you're not going to change the way HE eats.

But if trying to control what you eat is his way of trying to control YOU, then that's a completely different issue.

Holly

My3Rayz

I feel you...i live with people who know my struggle and still bring junk into the house. My husband tells me what i need to eat and do to lose weight, yet he's about to hit 300. He doesn't want to make the healthy changes and gives me a hard time. He doesn't like turkey or low fat food...everything tastes like "cardboard". Ugh!!! I just decided to do this for me and don't care what anyone says!

Claudia007

Everyone has given you some great advice! Not much more I can add to that, so I'll just let you know that in an Avon catalog I saw some serving utensils that are the appropriate serving size. One is for starches (rice/pasta), one for veggies, and one for protiens. If nothing else works, get those and make him serve you the correct amounts. Maybe having a visual aid will help him. Good luck!

1983Miller

try to have some of the lo cal ice cream bars on hand like WW or Schwans, the both have 90 calorie ice cream bars, maybe he would like these too, my family is really liking them!

thedestar

Thanks for all the tips and support. I'm definetly going to try talking to him again. you guys are awesome!