My boyfriend doesn't like the new me HELP!!!

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  • chilipeppers
    chilipeppers Posts: 119
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    Well, what the reason he doesn't like your weight loss? Does he think losing that much weight will be unheathy for you? Or is he physically attracted to you with a little more "meat" on your bones?

    It's pretty harsh of him to threaten to dump you though, and if this is something that will boost your confidence and make you feel better about yourself, I say get rid of him! Maybe he just wants you to stay bigger because he wants you to have lower confidence so he can have more power over you?
  • alissaloved
    alissaloved Posts: 16
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    I am sorry to hear that as I am aware how hard it is to do this journey to good health. You sound really disappointed and frustrated. I have to be honest and say, it sounds like he is controlling and confronted by the effort you are making. No one could know his reason and really, the reason is irrelevant. What matters is how you feel. Often when we make positive changes in our lives people feel challenged and get defensive or reactive.

    All I can say is that his reaction is indicative of how he deals with stress and you need to decide if you can handle a man in your life who gets reactive when challenged. Or rather feels challenged by you just living your life.

    Remember you are not loosing weight to get a new man (I assume) and you are not loosing weight as a subtle hint for him to. You are loosing weight because it is unhealthy to be overweight and your quality of life is diminished. It is about you, not him.

    Go well.
  • cmyrick75
    cmyrick75 Posts: 187 Member
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    Sounds like he may have jealousy issues or something for him to not want you to lose weight !
    I had one of those a few years back and it was NOT healthy... After a few months of arguing with him and him doing everything under the sun to sabotage me, I hadlet him go. It was 2 1/2 yrs lso it wasn't easy but I knew it was best for me! I did end up losing weight and it wasn't the 30 pounds I lost on my body, it was the 200 of him pulling me down!!

    Be careful and please do what you need to do to be happy and don't let others pull you down. If he truly loved you, he would be supportive of you bc he would want you to be healthy and happy!
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
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    That's too bad, but you can't let someone else dictate what you do for yourself. It might be a control issue. Starts out small and escalates each time you concede.

    Good luck.
  • Meggie_pooh
    Meggie_pooh Posts: 316 Member
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    from past experience, my ex once once told me that if I stayed larger, no one else would want me and he would have me all to himself...I left him cuz he was too needy:bigsmile:
  • nataliemra
    nataliemra Posts: 29
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    PLEASE do what makes you happy. If you and him are not on the same wave length, then its time to reconsider whats best for you.

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