Giving up?

toots99

I don't really get it when people post that they're giving up. To a point, I do. It's hard. You get tired. Potato chips taste better than broccoli.

But when you say you're giving up, you're really saying that being fat and unhealthy is what you want. "I give up. I'm going to gain back all that weight that I lost and give up all that hard work and yeah, I'll feel really great then! That's what I want! To be fat, unhealthy, sick, powerless, depressed, unsuccessful, out of breath, in pain, made fun of, embarrassed, dreadful of bathing suit season. THAT'S my dream. Sounds great doesn't it?"

I just get frustrated when people are here for two weeks and say "I give up, it's too hard" blah blah blah. Suck it up.

Yes, it is hard. But being fat is much harder.

hollyyoung71

I totally agree with you... drives me crazy! How can you give up on a chance of being healthy?

MissAnjy

I agree. It's hard, especially in the beginning, but if you never challenge yourself, you're selling yourself short.

julwills

Agreed! If people are giving up it means they don't want it enough.

Goal_Seeker_1988

LOVE IT! GREAT POST!

The thing about it is that once you get started, yea it's hard @ first but after a couple of weeks @ it, it becomes an addiction.

I was a fat kid growin up, no I don't worry bout gainin weight, bc I haven't gain anything that doesn't come right back off in over 2 years. I love to workout. It's a natural high for me. I wish I would have started when I was goin into high school then I wouldn't be dealin with the after mess of having to try and tighten up my loose skin.

But everyone needs to exercise, and if ppl would stick with it, they'd love it!

twodeals

don't think i will ever love it, but i know that i have to do it. ha

toots99

LOVE IT! GREAT POST!

The thing about it is that once you get started, yea it's hard @ first but after a couple of weeks @ it, it becomes an addiction.

I was a fat kid growin up, no I don't worry bout gainin weight, bc I haven't gain anything that doesn't come right back off in over 2 years. I love to workout. It's a natural high for me. I wish I would have started when I was goin into high school then I wouldn't be dealin with the after mess of having to try and tighten up my loose skin.

But everyone needs to exercise, and if ppl would stick with it, they'd love it!

Same here! I wish I had done this in high school...life surely would've been different today.

dlaplume2

I agree. I especially find it more so frustrating when you look at their food journal to try and help and find out they are eating junk all day. They act like they have done everything possible and it's just them.

DanOhh

Those that say that are just crying out for help. If they really were giving up they wouldn't long on just to say that they weren't ever going to log on a site again.

elid

I certainly can understand giving up. People set expectations too high or don't find realistic goals for themselves; people burn out after a lot of hard work for what they perceive as little payoff; other parts of life get bad, and taking care of oneself gets put on the back burner.

No one is perfect and it's hard to make permanent changes. It's worth it, but it's damn hard. If it was easy to live a healthy lifestyle, none of us would need to be here in the first place.

The best we can do is offer support, and hope people are just frustrated and don't really mean that they want to give up.

Paigergirl

Toots...Thanks for the post. I'm just getting started..actually have not even started yet...I'm just getting used to this site, and plan to start on Monday as far as working out. Anyway, your words are inspirational. I've always failed in my past attempts to loose weight and get in shape, but I am determined this time. I was looking at your profile, and it seems like I'm alot like you. I'm currently 238 lbs. Do you have any words of wisdom for me as I get started on my journey?

ladybug1620

Those that say that are just crying out for help. If they really were giving up they wouldn't long on just to say that they weren't ever going to log on a site again.

Exactly what I was going to say. Crying out for help and attention. The ones that really want it will do whatever it takes.

Amandac6772

Those that say that are just crying out for help. If they really were giving up they wouldn't long on just to say that they weren't ever going to log on a site again.

I agree 10000000000%

JulsDiane

Those that say that are just crying out for help. If they really were giving up they wouldn't long on just to say that they weren't ever going to log on a site again.

My thoughts exactly...they want someone to talk them out of giving up.

Thomasm198

Those that say that are just crying out for help. If they really were giving up they wouldn't long on just to say that they weren't ever going to log on a site again.

I have to agree. While it can be irritating to read someone saying "this isn't working, I'm quitting" I think it is basically a cry for help without actually having to ask for help.

Don't forget: a lot of people may feel uncomfortable coming straight out and saying to a bunch of complete strangers "can someone help me".

I know I never asked for help (even when I needed it), I just trawled through every post on the forum because I always reckoned that someone else would have asked it before and the answer was there somewhere.

candlegal

Great post Toots!! I agree with Odan!! It's sad when someone "says" that. You know they don't REALLY WANT to give up but they are struggling so hard and maybe don't have good support near to them, or even have loved ones that criticize what they are doing:( Some people don't want to see others succeed and be healthy as sad as that is I know some people have to deal with that, it is so wrong. Great post toots, great responses too!

Julie

tvanderberg

I love your post and my nickname is TOOTS also...

elid

If people are giving up it means they don't want it enough.

I strongly disagree with this notion, and I think it's potentially harmful. Losing weight is a fight against our bodies and our brains, which are wired to gain and keep weight on, not lose it. Sometimes people don't understand what is necessary to make changes, or they set incredibly unrealistic goals (like losing 100lbs in 6 months). It doesn't mean they "don't want it enough". It means they probably don't have the right information/tools/support/whatever to make their lifestyle changes. Being judgmental of them is not going to help them in their journey.

csc101769

I thought the whole point of this site was to be in a group of SUPPORTERS. If we can't support each other, then what are we doing here? Everybody struggles from time to time

toots99

I thought the whole point of this site was to be in a group of SUPPORTERS. If we can't support each other, then what are we doing here? Everybody struggles from time to time

Yes, everyone struggles. That was the point of my post. People need to not give up and make more of an effort to educate themselves. I don't want people to give up. I want them to fight through it. But I'm more of a tough love type of person when it comes to fitness. I coddled myself for too many years and look where it got me. If you want it badly enough, you'll do it. It might take a while, and what works for others might not work for you. Or it might work for you later on down the road. I think if *I* can do it, anyone can. I went from 249 lbs, binge eating in secret, to losing 77 lbs (65 of them here at MFP), and continuing to lose more. You've gotta change your mindset. Learn to deal with life's ups and downs. You'll be SO much happier in the end than if you had given up.

AnaNotBanana

I always say "If it wasn't hard it wouldn't be worth it."

Laceylala

I certainly can understand giving up. People set expectations too high or don't find realistic goals for themselves; people burn out after a lot of hard work for what they perceive as little payoff; other parts of life get bad, and taking care of oneself gets put on the back burner.

No one is perfect and it's hard to make permanent changes. It's worth it, but it's damn hard. If it was easy to live a healthy lifestyle, none of us would need to be here in the first place.

The best we can do is offer support, and hope people are just frustrated and don't really mean that they want to give up.

Agreed. While I too find it frustrating, what I see when people say that is just a simple lack of education on how dieting, lifestyle change, whatever you want to call it really needs to work. They have had a few hard weeks because they are still using their old habits to lose weight when thats what got us there in the first place.
I've been on this site for a year and the past four weeks is really the first time i've put my money where my mouth is and bucked up to get it done.
Sometimes it just takes some people that long to get it in the right head space to do it. The more they are here, read positive posts about successes, failures, and education the better shot they will have.

keepitoff99

I thought the whole point of this site was to be in a group of SUPPORTERS. If we can't support each other, then what are we doing here? Everybody struggles from time to time

Yes, everyone struggles. That was the point of my post. People need to not give up and make more of an effort to educate themselves. I don't want people to give up. I want them to fight through it. But I'm more of a tough love type of person when it comes to fitness. I coddled myself for too many years and look where it got me. If you want it badly enough, you'll do it. It might take a while, and what works for others might not work for you. Or it might work for you later on down the road. I think if *I* can do it, anyone can. I went from 249 lbs, binge eating in secret, to losing 77 lbs (65 of them here at MFP), and continuing to lose more. You've gotta change your mindset. Learn to deal with life's ups and downs. You'll be SO much happier in the end than if you had given up.

This particular message board is for motivation and support - let's use it for that.
We need to be uplifting and supporting each other, especially those who feel like giving up :flowerforyou:

megteg

I just get frustrated when people are here for two weeks and say "I give up, it's too hard" blah blah blah. Suck it up.

This is the part that gets me frustrated when I see those posts. Especially the ones that say "I've been doing this for a week and have only lost one pound!" Um...I wish I had seen results like that!! Why are they complaining?

It's taken me a long time to see my work paying off, and that's frustrating, but I've learned you gotta give it time and that success can be measured in other ways, like measurements and even energy level throughout the day. I think mostly people who post they are giving up don't know how to see those other accomplishments and just need someone to tell them "DON'T"

tmaksparkie

I don't really get it when people post that they're giving up. To a point, I do. It's hard. You get tired. Potato chips taste better than broccoli.

But when you say you're giving up, you're really saying that being fat and unhealthy is what you want. "I give up. I'm going to gain back all that weight that I lost and give up all that hard work and yeah, I'll feel really great then! That's what I want! To be fat, unhealthy, sick, powerless, depressed, unsuccessful, out of breath, in pain, made fun of, embarrassed, dreadful of bathing suit season. THAT'S my dream. Sounds great doesn't it?"

I just get frustrated when people are here for two weeks and say "I give up, it's too hard" blah blah blah. Suck it up.

Yes, it is hard. But being fat is much harder.


I agree 100%, it is hard but we all have bad days and then we pick ourselves back up and keep moving. We are only human.

wonderish

I posted here a week or so ago saying i am losing my motivation, I got a view replies encouraging me and what not, then i got one saying like I can only do it myself..

So yeah, THANKS!

I know its up to me, but it IS complete lifestyle change and its HARD. I'm trying. I really really am.

I was/am just looking for someone to tell me to keep going. I can only tell it to myself so much :-p

kettlewitch

I've given up a lot of times. My immediate want for that bottle of wine or that takeaway always beat the long term want and anyway, I had years before it was likely to affect my health. And then the years ran out and I am so annoyed with myself for allowing the inevitable diabetes to happen but now the time is right for me to do this. It's all the times that I've given up in the past that are helping me now. I know when it will be tough (Friday nights!) so I go to the gym and work extra hard to distract myself. I know what I can't let myself do - kid myself that one glass of wine won't hurt when I know I can't stop at that.

I think we have to learn how to fail and why so that we can succeed

toots99

I thought the whole point of this site was to be in a group of SUPPORTERS. If we can't support each other, then what are we doing here? Everybody struggles from time to time

Yes, everyone struggles. That was the point of my post. People need to not give up and make more of an effort to educate themselves. I don't want people to give up. I want them to fight through it. But I'm more of a tough love type of person when it comes to fitness. I coddled myself for too many years and look where it got me. If you want it badly enough, you'll do it. It might take a while, and what works for others might not work for you. Or it might work for you later on down the road. I think if *I* can do it, anyone can. I went from 249 lbs, binge eating in secret, to losing 77 lbs (65 of them here at MFP), and continuing to lose more. You've gotta change your mindset. Learn to deal with life's ups and downs. You'll be SO much happier in the end than if you had given up.

This particular message board is for motivation and support - let's use it for that.
We need to be uplifting and supporting each other, especially those who feel like giving up :flowerforyou:

I don't see how I'm npot being supportive. I'm certainly not trying to beat anyone down. I'm telling them they can do it.

maeflower1234

I think you are being supportive toots. We have it inside us. The strength, the will, the motivation. I don't know what clicked inside me but something did. Maybe some of these posts are just people who do really want it but it hasn't clicked in yet. I actually am trying to not get to obsessed about it! I hope for everyone that it will get easier because, like you, I feel so much better and am proud of myself.

sdwelk11

I totally agree! I have lost and gained but I won't ever give up! We are all human and make mistakes. The strong ones get back up, dust themselves and get back on the wagon! The weak ones give up and say being FAT IS FINE WITH THEM! They don't care that they may have irreversable health problems, die of a heart attack, etc..... i feel sorry for the weak ones and wonder why if they weren't going to stick with it then why did they even start? I wonder what made them think that losing weight was going to be easy? I wonder what made them think that this is a diet and not a life changing event! They need to take a step back rethink what they want in life and try again! Nobody should be a quiter!

elid

If people fail, it does *not* mean they are weak. Again, people are hardwired to gain (and keep) weight on their bodies. They are doing what nature is telling them to do.

Yes, it is possible (and necessary) to overcome these natural urges to eat so much food that is bad for us. But calling people weak for not doing it is like calling them weak for wanting sex or social support. These are things all humans want, it is NATURAL! Humans are built to survive some very difficult conditions, including famine. The humans who put on weight and keep it on are the same ones who 300 years ago would have survived the best.

We are now in a time where food is *too* abundant. It's very, very, VERY difficult for many people to change their lifestyles and ignore everything their bodies are telling them.

Yes! They *can* change! But calling them weak for finding it difficult is definitely not helping.

If anyone has time for a documentary, I highly recommend "Why Are Thin People Not Fat". It deals with this subject very well, I think. You can watch it on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6-A0iHSdcA