People are dropping like flies

jenlen65

I have noticed that of the several folks I've friended since I started MFP, several of them seemed to have dropped out. They haven't logged in for many days. I think that is so sad. I guess about 3-4 weeks into this, people get discouraged. I really hate that for them. I personally believe that we are worth the effort we are putting forth, even if things move slowly. But we are not "dieting", we are making positive changes for life. It had worked well for me, and I feel so much better. That in itself is motivation for me. The fact that I can do this and I'm seeing results is also very motivating. I challenge those friends who have slacked off to come back. Don't defeat yourself. You'll feel so much worse about yourself if you give up. It's an uphill battle for sure, but the rewards we reap are life-changing. Please keep at it!!! Come back!!!

ajbeans

I think a lot of people get into this as a New Year's resolution. Resolutions don't typically last through February. :ohwell: People have huge aspirations that are unrealistic for their real lives, and they push themselves for a week, and then the second week it's a little harder, then the third week they're barely hanging on, then the fourth week they give up. Instead of re-evaluating their goals and trying to make it work with their lives, they just decide that they've failed and it's not worth trying. It's sad, but it happens all the time.

karlenasmith

I started this journey on the 4th of Jan. found this sight on the 13th of Jan. and have found that just this week I am tired of trying. I will keep going because as you said, I am worth doing this for. Am not sure what it is about going into that 4th week that makes it such a challenge to keep going, hopefully the 5th week will see me with a new attitude towards my weight loss. Thanks for posting, needed to here this.

kwardklinck

I think they get disheartened that the weight doesn't just fly off. Most people don't have the motivation to do what needs to be done to meet their goals. In my opinion, this makes them targets for all of the strange diets and supplements people sell. The only way to lose weight is to burn more calories than you take in. It's a simple formula but most people don't have the patience for it.

hahahollylol

:flowerforyou: Thanks for posting this Jen! You are so right.

ajbeans

I started this journey on the 4th of Jan. found this sight on the 13th of Jan. and have found that just this week I am tired of trying. I will keep going because as you said, I am worth doing this for. Am not sure what it is about going into that 4th week that makes it such a challenge to keep going, hopefully the 5th week will see me with a new attitude towards my weight loss. Thanks for posting, needed to here this.

Don't give up! If something's not working, take another look at your goals, and what you've been doing so far, and make those work with your life. Be realistic in your goals, and it'll get easier to stay motivated. You can do this! You ARE so worth it!

arewethereyet

this happens every Dec and Jan...........will get worse in Feb.

No offense to you or your wonderful freindship! People come on looking for a quick fix. MFP is NOT that...........it is a lifestyle change free to the world. To make new friends that can help you, lift you and give you advice.

Good luck!:flowerforyou: Jeannie

CarrieAbbey

great topic, it's best to start your lifestyle change as soon as you feel necessary. Not Sunday, not tomorrow, NOW!! You're right--we are worth it.

Carrie

Galathea

Many people look for a quick fix, something that will melt their pounds away overnight. They get discouraged after a while, especially most lose much in the first week (yes, mostly water) and then the weigh loss can slow down. It's easy to mistake this with a diet, although it's a lifestyle change, which means you'll have to stick with it for the long haul.
The pounds we put on during the years won't go away in a week or two. It's not only about losing weight. That's just the bonus cream on the cake, so to speak. LOL It's about being healthy and fit and content in your own body.
I have many friends here and once a month I go through my friendlist and delete those who weren't active for a month or longer. It hurts me a bit, because most of them started so well and were so encouraged. But this is about me in first place. And I need all the motivation I can get, while offering the same support in return. But I can't support someone, when they don't log in.

pineappleroo

Some times you gotta remember.... I didn't get fat over night and I didn't drop 53 lbs over night either. It takes lots of time hard work and tears, but is totally worth it!! Everyone has PMS days where they eat everything not nailed down. Don't write off the day, start right back at your healthy lifestyle the next meal. I'm 5 feet tall and started at 203 lbs. I'm now at 150. If I can do it, so can you!! Don't ever give up on yourself!

get_wrapped_by_me

i LOVE ur words thanks for them. I feel just as u do.I got off track once but im back now stronger then ever so GOOD LUCK to us all and u keep up the positivity:)

MelJG

I started this website last Sunday and today (one week later) I have lost 2lb ! I know of friends who diet and lose 8lbs in a week. But then, in a few months down the road, they are back to their orginal weight. I realise with this diet, it is not about dieting so much as "learning to eat within your limits". I have been set 1200 calories a day. For my height and age etc that is as much as I need. I have accepted that, and this site helps me keep within that goal. I have learned that before I logged on, it was that extra glass of wine or the packet of biscuits or take away pasta tub that I really didn't need that would take me over that figure.

As the original post said, it's a lifetime change ... not a diet per se .... I aim to carry on with a 1 lb to 2 lb loss per week (hopefully) and by the time I reach my 44th birthday in May of this year I will be my target weight. I aim then to maintain that and keep within my goal so that I wll feel good in the summer wearing that bikini!!!

So, perservere folks .... little often is what its all about. That is only if you are serious about transforming your body for the long term of course, If its just a matter of dropping a dress size for a party in a fortnight's time then, well, this is not for you!

Good luck x

kristibag81

For me, it was always the "diet" mindset that made me quit or give up.

Now, I realized I was sabotaging myself. I have to be okay with days when I slip up and eat cake...that's life. But, it is a completely mental thing for me...so though I've been trying to lose weight for years, I've been terribly unsuccessful due to the diet mentality of an end to healthy eating. That is probably why most people leave.

It's all different now for me and I'm so glad!

Enigmatica

I think that after a few weeks people start to realize that this requires a permanent lifestyle change, and some really don't want to change their exercise and eating habits longterm. They want to dump the weight fast so they can go back to whatever they were doing before. The mental change has to happen before the physical changes will happen. Maybe they'll try again and get it later.

When it comes to weight loss: Quitters don't lose and losers don't quit!

bstiver

I have noticed that too. Only a maybe four or five or my friends are on here anymore.

Neliel

Unfriend them if they're not serious.
The ones who stick to it are the ones who are serious and the ones who deserve change

Prizettes

I've been on myfitnesspal on my phone for months but only found the site today!!

ajbeans

Unfriend them if they're not serious.
The ones who stick to it are the ones who are serious and the ones who deserve change

Off-topic, but I love your ticker. That's awesome.

sbracken

Yep, it's all the NYR people dropping off. I've been working out at home just to avoid the over-crowded gym. By mid-Feb it will be back to a normal amount of people in there and I won't have to wait just to get on a treadmill or bike.

MelissaL582

Yeah, I've noticed some of my support buddies no longer active. It takes commitment and patience when it comes to losing the weight. I've seen some of them "brag" (not sure if that's the right word for it) that they gained 5-7lbs because they couldn't help themselves from eating a double burger, large coke and a large fry. I would recommend for them to atleast workout for 30 minutes but there's always an excuse. Maybe they just aren't ready to lose the weight.

MelissaL582

Unfriend them if they're not serious.
The ones who stick to it are the ones who are serious and the ones who deserve change

This is what I do too.

backinthenines

I think a lot of people get into this as a New Year's resolution. Resolutions don't typically last through February. :ohwell:

Same at my gym. They expand by 5 clothes sizes over many years and if it's not "gone" between 1st Jan and Valentines day they get into a huff, say it's all a waste of time and just give up.

Loves418

I dropped out for a week or two because I was sick. But all my wonderful friends sent me messages as to where I was. I came on to tell them how I am suffering with sever acid reflux. The attacks have been so bad I thought for sure it was heart attacks. UGHH. I am back on now seems to be under control. I loved that everyone cared enough to ask where I was and not just drop me. Maybe send a quick message to those you haven't seen before just dropping them. You never know if someone is sick and just needs to hear people care.

jessieinblue

I think that after a few weeks people start to realize that this requires a permanent lifestyle change, and some really don't want to change their exercise and eating habits longterm. They want to dump the weight fast so they can go back to whatever they were doing before. The mental change has to happen before the physical changes will happen.

This is exactly it. It must be a lifestyle change -- a lifestyle overhaul, even. And unfortunately most people just aren't willing to do that.

michelleladd

I just now logged in after not logging in since March 2010. For me, I had used MFP religiously for 3 or 4 months. Then, it all kinda fell into place. I didn't use this as a diet plan/quick fix, like many have also pointed out. It was my guide to changing my eating habits, lack of exercise, etc. I orig set my goal @ 50 lb wt loss. 175 to 125. At 140 now and dropped to a size 7/8, which seems about right.(from a 12, prob 14, altho didn't buy any 14s). At the time, just picked 125 as a lofty goal. See now that that'd be too thin for me.

I think, yes, around this time many drop off the map, just like every year with many New Yrs Resolutioners. In my case, I dropped off in March or so, as I just had a routine. But, I like that many seasoned veterans are still here. After all, MFP needs them to pass it on:)

alejan1975

i joined around jan 10th and love the site - i think it is very common for people to join and give up. I've been telling myself i need to lose weight for about 5 yrs and kinda sorta tried a few times but not very seriously. I turned 35 in december, and father time is catching up - if i'm going to turn it around, i better do it now! As a younger man, i was very thin, in shape, confident, some might even say handsome.

The only motiviation i needed was in a shoebox in the basement - pictures of me from 2000 - who the heck is THAT guy? i realize that i won't return to my former self at 24 yrs old, but i can get a LOT closer than i am now.

SO - count me in for someone that WILL NOT QUIT until i reach my goals and i encourage all of you that also just started to find that something that won't let you quit - for me it was easy, just some old photos.

Nigel99

I've always considered New Year's Resolutions to be things people resolve to change for a few weeks, then go back to what they were doing before. I enjoy most of the foods I've been eating more of, so it hasn't been all that hard to change a few things. For a lot of people that don't really like some of the healthier foods, it can be a lot more challenging. Especially if friends and family are still eating the junk or giant portions. It really is a lifestyle change.

M_lifts

i think it depends on whether you are mentally prepared for it. unfortunately its quite a common new years resolution to make and then to lose sight of once feb-march appears. i lied to myself for the past year about wanting to make a change and i did a yo-yo cycles of dieting and giving up. however, i realised that my relationship with food had to change and i needed to take control and be healthy for me.

losing weight is never a quick fix, its something u have to work at.

for those who need motivation, please stay you can and will do it.

princess_f

first time around i gave up after a week, but i really think i wasnt 'ready', this time its my 3rd week in and ive realised that you can still have a treat, its does no harm, im still eating much the same but doing for the better options of it and snacking on fruit rather than crisps and sweets. They may come back when its there time, I think you just reach a point when you know you have to make the change and theres no going back!

bluuea

I agree with the several that say unfriend them. That is a quick way to let go of some "weight." We all need encouragement, that is why we are here. If they don't encourage you, let them go. Friends come and go any arena, weight loss is no exception.

Oh and I am here for the long haul, even after I reach my goal, so add me. Due to family health issues, I will have to take control of this the rest of my life.

xyril

I probably would've dropped too if I hadn't discovered the message board (started using this on my cell). Seeing other people just like me succeed keeps my inspiration high. Granted, I'm still working on the meals but I officially log on here more than facebook and that in itself keeps me focused.

I refuse to give up and hope others who are considering it to not give up either !