Hypothetical relationship question for the ladies...

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  • WillPillageYourVillageForFood
    WillPillageYourVillageForFood Posts: 777 Member
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    :quietly pulls pic off of Adult Friend Finder:


    LMAO. I first read this as quietly pulls out of AFF. :laugh: I am so easily amused.
  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
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    In this hypothetical situation, the "bored" person is female. As a male, I know full well that there isn't a man in the world on a dating site just for chit chat because he is bored. So I was curious if in the female frame of mind that was a possibly legit excuse.

    Let's also suppose that in this hypothetical scenario, she updated her info and pictures but as soon as she received a message and tried to reply, she found out that she would have to pay to continue so decided she "wasn't that bored" and moved on to something else without paying. Does the story hold water then?
    In my opinion, the whole issue is that she is looking outside of the relationship for attention - from strangers. If the only reason she did not correspond was due to having to pay and not because her conscience told her it was wrong, then I personally do not believe the story holds any water.

    The female frame of mind isn't that much different from the male's in situations like this (again, in my opinion). I am pretty conservative when it comes to relationships and boundaries, however.
  • kwardklinck
    kwardklinck Posts: 1,601
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    Nah she's full of it. She's probably just wanting some attention for her new look but yeah Facebook is better than Match.com for chatting with people because you're bored.
  • Black_Swan
    Black_Swan Posts: 770 Member
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    Sounds like this person is very insecure about herself and wants to seek attention from other men. The question is actually would she only accept answers from those guys, or would she answer them and flirt?
    If she only accepted, then she is really insecure but I think it can be managed and relationship can have future.
    If she was going to answer (or is chatting with other men somewhere else), than Id say you end it, and end it fast, and dont let her have any excuses. Because that is plain mean.

    But thats just my opinion, Im sure its more complicated than that!
  • CreativeRedhead
    CreativeRedhead Posts: 2,166
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    I hate to say it but nah that's not a legit excuse. When I'm bored I jump on facebook and play some lame-o games or chat with my buds on there OR I jump on here and cruise the message boards.

    Alas I'm not a single lady so trying to see it from her point of view. Maybe she is still looking around or at least keeping her options open. It may not sound so great but I think that's normal. Either way, jumping on a dating site to just chat with people is kind of shady. I'm like you Chuck, no guy on those are just there to chat it up...at least not rated E for everyone chat. :laugh:

    I'd just come out and ask what's up if this isn't quite as "hypothetical". :smile:
  • lisapisa1
    lisapisa1 Posts: 115
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    I would hypothetically break up with my significant other if they were bored and needed to talk to members of the opposite gender to cure their "boredom".
  • Mrs_McFadden
    Mrs_McFadden Posts: 1,139
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    This is 100% me...when I am bored, sometimes I cruise the Craig's list personals because they crack me up.

    This is definitely in the secret hobby area of our brains. Who hasn't? I love reading craiglist best of lists, I can laugh for a few whole days reading that. Oh - and just realizing how truly bizarre some internal universes are.
  • shallo
    shallo Posts: 353 Member
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    Am I the only one that read this and thought....maybe it's him that wants to update his match.com account with newer pictures since he's on MFP getting into shape and prob looks better than before? So now he wants advice from the ladies to see if his girlfriend would get pissed about it. Think about it......
    No, you aren't the only one. That's what I thought too.
  • rachieladines
    rachieladines Posts: 47
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    No No No I believe cheating starts in the mind...if ur bored enough to go looking for excitement then there is something missing in the relationship... It starts out as something innocent but does not always end up innocent
  • SamiSamiBoBlammy
    SamiSamiBoBlammy Posts: 868 Member
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    This is 100% me...when I am bored, sometimes I cruise the Craig's list personals because they crack me up.

    ME TOO!! well I used to before I realized that if hubs was in a horrible accident and I was suddenly a suspect - they would probably take my computer to look though it... yeah sounds stupid I know
  • microem1
    microem1 Posts: 38 Member
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    Well I would never carry on using a site like that once I was in a relationship especially not for anything naughty BUT....

    when I first got with my boyfriend he showered me with complimets for the forst 6 months and I really did feel like a princess but now after 4 years I don't even remember the last compliment he gave me even when i've spent 3 hours getting ready hehe!

    So it might be nice just to have some attention but nothing more than that! Everyone needs to feel special once in a while!
  • kwardklinck
    kwardklinck Posts: 1,601
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    By the same token, you're tempting fate when you flirt with single people. What if you wind up talking to someone you really like and then you cross that line? It's safer to just stay away. Watch a movie or chat on facebook if you're bored.
  • maggieschuck
    maggieschuck Posts: 174
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    Oh NO! We all know that match.com is a dating site. facebook.com offers chat and so do most email accounts. There are plenty of forums and chat sites that have nothing to do with dating or single ppl looking to hook up.
  • csc101769
    csc101769 Posts: 53
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    This is the only "dating site" I've ever used. It's not working out well at all. Not one date in two years.


    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! At least you have a great sense of humor :)
  • margrobins
    margrobins Posts: 98 Member
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    I say - NO!
    Intentions may possibly be just to "chat"... But uhm.. Aren't people there to find a *match*?
    I personally would NOT do it - as I place the shoe on the other foot first. If my man were digging around on a dating site "just to chat" it would raise my suspicions. I'm not a jealous person, however, I think f you want to socialize - find a clean "intent free" place to do it, although that is hard to find anywhere online.
    I would avoid a dating site at all costs to spare the chance of causing conflict.
    What ever happened to the good ol' day when socializing meant ya put your damn shoes on and WENT SOMEWHERE!?!?
    Pfffttt.. Technology! ;0)
  • Kityngirl
    Kityngirl Posts: 14,332 Member
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    This is 100% me...when I am bored, sometimes I cruise the Craig's list personals because they crack me up.
    +1 :laugh: I love the missed connections and the best of.

    For the OP, I think the inherent problem is that Match.com is made for dating so updating pics and chatting with people on there automatically gives off the wrong impression. No way I'd ever be on a dating website while in a relationship. There are plenty of places to chat with people, make friends and harmlessly flirt without giving off the initial impression that you are looking to date someone.
  • ChuckgM3
    ChuckgM3 Posts: 302 Member
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    Thanks for the input everyone. I can't say I'm very surprised at the consensus of responses. Of course the situation is always more complex than one can type into a few short paragraphs but I think you guys get the gist.

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