bad jokes

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2

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  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
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    Knock, knock.
    Who's there?
    Dwayne.
    Dwayne who?
    Dwayne the bathtub, I'm dwowning.
  • abyt42
    abyt42 Posts: 1,358 Member
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    (This is my only joke...and I'm an English teacher.... you've been forewarned)


    It looks like Christmas will be postponed this year. The elves are on strike, renegotiating their contract.
    (beat)

    They want to be known as subordinate clauses.
  • Kelleinna
    Kelleinna Posts: 160
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    A man called the fire station in a panic. "Come quickly!" he said. "My house is burning down!"

    "Okay," said the fireman. "How do we get to your house?"

    "What? You mean you don't have those shiny red trucks anymore?!"

    (Yes, that was lame... I shall now go hide in shame.)
  • Kelleinna
    Kelleinna Posts: 160
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    A bear walked into a bar. He said to the bartender, "I'll have a rum and........... coke." The bartender asked, "What's with the big pause?" "What, these?" the bear asked. "I've always had them."
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    Q - How do you catch a squirrel??

    A - Climb a tree and act like a nut. *ba-dum-dum*
  • Pattilynne
    Pattilynne Posts: 61
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    "Knock Knock"
    "Who's there?"
    "I eat mop"
    "I eat mop who?"
    That is funny as hell

    Read this slowly 10 times
    "EYE ARE SOFA KING WE TODD DID"
    what kind of car does a proctologist drive?
    a brown probe
  • abyt42
    abyt42 Posts: 1,358 Member
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    Q - How do you catch a squirrel??

    A - Climb a tree and act like a nut. *ba-dum-dum*
    Gotta remember this!
  • Kelleinna
    Kelleinna Posts: 160
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    What do you get if you cross an elephant with a rhino?

    Elefino. (Read it out loud.)
  • msbahtley
    msbahtley Posts: 1
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    How do you catch a unique rabbit?
    U-nique up on him!

    How do you catch a tame tiger?
    the tame way!
  • Run4iiiiiit
    Run4iiiiiit Posts: 489 Member
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    these are great
  • wolf23
    wolf23 Posts: 4,178 Member
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    Why don't blind people skydive?

    It scares the hell out of the dog.
  • lloydrt
    lloydrt Posts: 1,121 Member
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    why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?
    He wanted to see time fly............


    What kind of dog keeps track of time?
    A watch dog........

    pretty bad, huh?
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    How do you get an elephant into a Safeway?

    You take the "S" out of Safe and the "F" out of Way...
  • blondie76
    blondie76 Posts: 552 Member
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    haha so funny

    Q - wanna here a dirty joke???

    a - white horse fell in mud


    Q - wanna here another?


    A - he fell again!

    lol:blushing:
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    How do you get an elephant into a Safeway?

    You take the "S" out of Safe and the "F" out of Way...

    no takers? Nobody notices that There is no F in Way....


    LOL
    no F'in way...
  • Boston01810
    Boston01810 Posts: 2,267 Member
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    Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Tank!
    Tank who?
    Your welcome!
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
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    What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator?

    Close the door, I'm dressing.
  • Boston01810
    Boston01810 Posts: 2,267 Member
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    What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator?

    Close the door, I'm dressing.

    Very cute!
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
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    the only ones I know will get the thread shut down lol
  • elizwelshman
    elizwelshman Posts: 136
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    Bad jokes and anti jokes, my fav!!!

    -Whats green and has wheels?

    -Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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