When do you cut a MFP friend?

bethvandenberg

Ok so I've noticed that I have some friends who have been missing for awhile. How long do you wait to cut someone? I'm just thinking I show up, I comment when I can, I try to encourage and motivate, so I just want a little back in return and if you're not showing up then you can do none of it.

So let's hear it people. How long do I wait?

starkiss100

A month or two, beyond that, they are off the wagon and staying off.

sabrads

Good question - I dont know if there is a limit to the number of friends you can have but I would think 2-4 weeks would be a fair time to allow them to at least check back in.

What about if they are being negative all the time would you cut them straight away ?

NearlyThere2011

3 strikes and they're out! My motto for life, not just for MFP! :-)

mrscates

I do not add anyone whos diary isn't public, they dont send a message with their FR or they haven't logged in for a few days. a few days can mean alot when it comes to eating right and trying to lose weight

mrscates

250 limit

Good question - I dont know if there is a limit to the number of friends you can have but I would think 2-4 weeks would be a fair time to allow them to at least check back in.

What about if they are being negative all the time would you cut them straight away ?

elfie9863

Honestly...I used to to all that too before I came back on the second time. Now, I sorta don't like all t he play by play on my home page from the "friends" and their "friends"...and just cruise the boards and comment here and there when I feel like it. Just my own personal thinking. I really do appreciate all those who send the nice comments and encouragement to those that need it tho.

julwills

If they haven't logged on for a month or more I delete them as a friend.

fitniknik

good point about the diary's!! I freaking hate it when people have their diary private!

I cut em loose when they have been gone 2-4 weeks.. or if they do or say something that is annoying to me consistantly im a bad person

anewattitude

I Have people on my list who haven't logged on in a while also and some never offer encouragement but when I choose to accept a friend request I do so because I want to be able to help someone else stay motivated. I have many who offer their support to me so the few who don't I don't let it bother me. Also I haven't cut anyone for not logging on because I don't know their situation. Maybe they had something happen. I always give people the benefit of the doubt, however if someone on my list starts being crude, or judgemental and negative then its time to say adios!

mrscates

I cut ppl if they say things that are annoying, lmao

good point about the diary's!! I freaking hate it when people have their diary private!

I cut em loose when they have been gone 2-4 weeks.. or if they do or say something that is annoying to me consistantly im a bad person

Dencrossgirl

If they are off for three months they are gone, gives you opportunity to add someone who wants/gives support.

madijo41

I have always wondered about that. I cut them loose after a month or so. What about if you take the time to always say nice (encouraging) things and some say nothing... nothing...nothing. Which means they are taking...taking...taking. I get weirdly hurt by that. :brokenheart:

SassyMissDasha

Never! Just because a person doesn't check in does not mean they can't stay my friend .. what if they decide to come back, and they have no friends. How discouraging would that be? And plus I have like 240 friends on my list and I can't keep track half the time who is still here or who is not .. so I just leave them. I've had a few friends come back and say I was away for awhile but now I'm back and ready to get back to it. And that's great.

mummum2

I Have people on my list who haven't logged on in a while also and some never offer encouragement but when I choose to accept a friend request I do so because I want to be able to help someone else stay motivated. I have many who offer their support to me so the few who don't I don't let it bother me. Also I haven't cut anyone for not logging on because I don't know their situation. Maybe they had something happen. I always give people the benefit of the doubt, however if someone on my list starts being crude, or judgemental and negative then its time to say adios!

Ditto, entirely agree with the above statement. That could be me saying this.

MelissaL582

I've deleted people who haven't commented on anything I do for more than a week. I'm on here quite a bit sending everyone a comment; I know some people can't do it all the time or on here at different times..but you can at least comment at least once on what I've done. It's a 2 way street..not me always commenting on what you do. Before I do delete them, I check out their profile and if they haven't responded to anyone..they're off my list. I'm here to get motivated and if they aren't helping me..what's the point on keeping them? I've also deleted people who don't take it serious, who continue to eat junk food and doesn't take anyone's advice.

What also annoys me is when people have no information about themselves.

Amajoy

3 strikes and they're out! My motto for life, not just for MFP! :-)

I hope you dont use this theory with relationships... AHAHAHAHA! It's 1 strike your out for me! :laugh:

♥Violette♥4Ever♥

I have reached my 250 limit and have several friend request in the wings and I don't know who to cut....nor do I want to cut anyone. So I'm not sure what to do at this point.

mrscates

3 strikes and they're out! My motto for life, not just for MFP! :-)

DITTO!I hope you dont use this theory with relationships... AHAHAHAHA! It's 1 strike your out for me! :laugh:

mandalina23

I do not add anyone whos diary isn't public, they dont send a message with their FR or they haven't logged in for a few days. a few days can mean alot when it comes to eating right and trying to lose weight

When you say diary you mean food diary? You can make that public? How do you know if yours is or not?

---

To answer the topic question, I say that if it is bringing you down, or de-motivating you then delete them, maybe try to send them a message and see what's going on, if you don't hear back from them or see that their dedication is still very lackluster then delete them, it seems to me the whole point of this site is for support on our weight loss stay fit and healthy journey's ... It's hard to show the support and recieve it one ended. Best of luck with your decision and your journey!

vikeschick42

This is probably rude of me, but the only people I have as friends are people I actually know. It just gets so overwhelming to see all the posts otherwise, and I feel like I have to comment all the time. I get friend invites and decline them. I hope people don't think I'm being rude. I'm not trying to be. I've been on other sites and started down the whole "friending" path and it just gets to be too much. I try to comment on message boards and provide support if someone posts something where they need help. But I keep my friend list to those I personally know. It's what works for me.

crazymama2two

i kick em when ive given at least three positive things to say to them and ive got none in return. i already booted someone.

RochelleBlack

3 strikes and they're out! My motto for life, not just for MFP! :-)

Haha, PERFECT!

ahhdebs

I cut a person, they drove me bonkers with sad stories. I want to be motivated, nt made to feel bad because i have a life and live it to the full. She went on and on about how bad she felt, and how i was her only friend one day, then next day she would say awful things about me, and if I posted that I had drank any alcohol, she would tell me hw bad i was and that I would die from liver failure. I just couldn't handle her, so BOOT! out she went.

Mrs_McFadden

I've only been here for almost two weeks so I have yet to develop a solid policy on this, nor mind you, am I anywhere near the 250 limit.
I personally don't need people to harass me with goodness lol. I like repartee and I certainly love to see others progress because that motivates me and I will definitely comment on other people's progress.
But - I am not going to make a comment on every single thing like calories burned or anything.
I like to joke around and have conversations. If I get to the 250 limit, I'll start deleting people if necessary that don't entertain me.
Plain and simple. LOL.
How do they entertain me? With good convo or good pics or something...extra fast weight loss? IDK, just something. Good repartee is critical lol.

LuckyLeprechaun

I am guilty of not posting encouraging comments towards my friends as often as they do for me :blushing: . I find MFP's comment threads to be difficult to follow and find, and so I just don't try to make myself crazy. I get the emails "someone said blah blah blah on your status" and then when I try to go find it so I can reply or somethng, I can't. Until MFP makes it more user friendly (facebook-like), I probably won't participate any more often than I do now. It's not you guys, I swear!

also,
I have had friends that stayed gone for over a year, then came back. I was pleased to welcome them back. Don't give up on folks...

islandgirljane

I completely agree with you everyone doesn't have the same life. I log every day but I don't always have the time to respond
When I have time I try to get to everyone. Its the best I can do. ; ) i agree with anewattitude.

ajwall3

I Have people on my list who haven't logged on in a while also and some never offer encouragement but when I choose to accept a friend request I do so because I want to be able to help someone else stay motivated. I have many who offer their support to me so the few who don't I don't let it bother me. Also I haven't cut anyone for not logging on because I don't know their situation. Maybe they had something happen. I always give people the benefit of the doubt, however if someone on my list starts being crude, or judgemental and negative then its time to say adios!

Totally agree. I don't delete anyone unless they are vulgar and I haven't had to deal w/that. If they aren't posting - that's on them - I reply to ppl when I can and post where I can... but it's almost like FB - there are some ppl who I don't talk to a lot but I want to keep up with them when they get on to post.

tgh1914

For me, there are some folks I've friended because I really value their knowledge, and I'll mention this in the request. It's not like I'm wanting to give them constant feedback on how they're doing, (nor do they need it probably). But I like being able to read some of their posts or see their diary & benefit from them. I'll make occasional comments, but like others have said, it can get to be a bit much.

And some I like to add just cuz I see some kind of similarity to my situation or I relate to em for some reason. And I'd like to follow their progress to an extent. I guess to me, the daily encouragement part isn't very high on my list of what I want out of this site. I do like it, but I hope I'm not being de-friended cuz I don't comment enough.

taso42_DELETED

When you say diary you mean food diary? You can make that public? How do you know if yours is or not?

If you go into Home -> Settings -> Diary Settings, you can choose public, private, friends only, or password protected.

PJilly

I am guilty of not posting encouraging comments towards my friends as often as they do for me :blushing: .

This is me as well. I find I spend more time and energy on the message boards than the status updates. I read the updates to see who has posted in what threads, and then I go check them out. So when I friend people, it's usually because I like what they have to say and I want to be able to find their posts easily, not because I'm looking for more support. This thread was a good reminder for me that different people get different things out of this group, which is pretty neat if you think about it. Variety is the spice of life!