When do you cut a MFP friend?

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2

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  • crazymama2two
    crazymama2two Posts: 867
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    i kick em when ive given at least three positive things to say to them and ive got none in return. i already booted someone.
  • RochelleBlack
    RochelleBlack Posts: 66
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    3 strikes and they're out! My motto for life, not just for MFP! :-)







    Haha, PERFECT!
  • ahhdebs
    ahhdebs Posts: 8 Member
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    I cut a person, they drove me bonkers with sad stories. I want to be motivated, nt made to feel bad because i have a life and live it to the full. She went on and on about how bad she felt, and how i was her only friend one day, then next day she would say awful things about me, and if I posted that I had drank any alcohol, she would tell me hw bad i was and that I would die from liver failure. I just couldn't handle her, so BOOT! out she went.
  • Mrs_McFadden
    Mrs_McFadden Posts: 1,139
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    I've only been here for almost two weeks so I have yet to develop a solid policy on this, nor mind you, am I anywhere near the 250 limit.
    I personally don't need people to harass me with goodness lol. I like repartee and I certainly love to see others progress because that motivates me and I will definitely comment on other people's progress.
    But - I am not going to make a comment on every single thing like calories burned or anything.
    I like to joke around and have conversations. If I get to the 250 limit, I'll start deleting people if necessary that don't entertain me.
    Plain and simple. LOL.
    How do they entertain me? With good convo or good pics or something...extra fast weight loss? IDK, just something. Good repartee is critical lol.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    I am guilty of not posting encouraging comments towards my friends as often as they do for me :blushing: . I find MFP's comment threads to be difficult to follow and find, and so I just don't try to make myself crazy. I get the emails "someone said blah blah blah on your status" and then when I try to go find it so I can reply or somethng, I can't. Until MFP makes it more user friendly (facebook-like), I probably won't participate any more often than I do now. It's not you guys, I swear!

    also,
    I have had friends that stayed gone for over a year, then came back. I was pleased to welcome them back. Don't give up on folks...
  • islandgirljane
    islandgirljane Posts: 15 Member
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    I completely agree with you everyone doesn't have the same life. I log every day but I don't always have the time to respond
    When I have time I try to get to everyone. Its the best I can do. ; ) i agree with anewattitude.
  • ajwall3
    ajwall3 Posts: 187
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    I Have people on my list who haven't logged on in a while also and some never offer encouragement but when I choose to accept a friend request I do so because I want to be able to help someone else stay motivated. I have many who offer their support to me so the few who don't I don't let it bother me. Also I haven't cut anyone for not logging on because I don't know their situation. Maybe they had something happen. I always give people the benefit of the doubt, however if someone on my list starts being crude, or judgemental and negative then its time to say adios!

    Totally agree. I don't delete anyone unless they are vulgar and I haven't had to deal w/that. If they aren't posting - that's on them - I reply to ppl when I can and post where I can... but it's almost like FB - there are some ppl who I don't talk to a lot but I want to keep up with them when they get on to post.
  • tgh1914
    tgh1914 Posts: 1,036 Member
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    For me, there are some folks I've friended because I really value their knowledge, and I'll mention this in the request. It's not like I'm wanting to give them constant feedback on how they're doing, (nor do they need it probably). But I like being able to read some of their posts or see their diary & benefit from them. I'll make occasional comments, but like others have said, it can get to be a bit much.

    And some I like to add just cuz I see some kind of similarity to my situation or I relate to em for some reason. And I'd like to follow their progress to an extent. I guess to me, the daily encouragement part isn't very high on my list of what I want out of this site. I do like it, but I hope I'm not being de-friended cuz I don't comment enough.
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
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    When you say diary you mean food diary? You can make that public? How do you know if yours is or not?

    If you go into Home -> Settings -> Diary Settings, you can choose public, private, friends only, or password protected.
  • PJilly
    PJilly Posts: 21,710 Member
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    I am guilty of not posting encouraging comments towards my friends as often as they do for me :blushing: .
    This is me as well. I find I spend more time and energy on the message boards than the status updates. I read the updates to see who has posted in what threads, and then I go check them out. So when I friend people, it's usually because I like what they have to say and I want to be able to find their posts easily, not because I'm looking for more support. This thread was a good reminder for me that different people get different things out of this group, which is pretty neat if you think about it. Variety is the spice of life!
  • roylawrence87
    roylawrence87 Posts: 970 Member
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    I cut and add daily because I have reached my limit. If you use the phone app and not talk I'll cut ya. If you consistently miss 3 days or more, gone. If you never talk, gone. If you post about fad diets and doing them, gone. If you are just plain negative all the time, gone. I'm here to help, not spoon feed you. I know this sounds mean and all but there are people who genuinely need motivation and I am here for those. My diary isn't public because I don't count cals anymore. I don't log anything at all anymore. I don't have to. I have been on here for a year straight maybe missing a couple of days here and there but solid, I know what to do in my daily life, whats good or bad.
  • runningneo122
    runningneo122 Posts: 6,962 Member
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    I "hide" people who don't comment on my things at all or have a private diary.

    If they are whiney or looking for people to kiss their *kitten* like a psychophant, they're gone.

    I'm positive and highly motivated and don't want to read all that sappy "inspirational" quotes-of-the-day stuff either.

    I have a bunch of people on my news feed that interact with me and I try to avoid having to skip over stuff to get to the things that matter.
  • roylawrence87
    roylawrence87 Posts: 970 Member
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    I "hide" people who don't comment on my things at all or have a private diary.

    If they are whiney or looking for people to kiss their *kitten* like a psychophant, they're gone.

    I'm positive and highly motivated and don't want to read all that sappy "inspirational" quotes-of-the-day stuff either.

    I have a bunch of people on my news feed that interact with me and I try to avoid having to skip over stuff to get to the things that matter.
    Awww, you don't like my sappy motivational posts????

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • anbegley
    anbegley Posts: 163 Member
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    I would give a little longer. They came here for a reason and hopefully will be back.
    I agree with the person about the open diary. I love seeing what people eat, get ideas, etc. But I recently found that two people I had friended were going about weight loss in a very unhealthy way. They both had open diaries, but I started noticing that their calorie intake was only 600-800 calories and then they would have exercise earned calories at 600-800 as well. Their net was zero or worse. I tried approaching them, but they deleted or ignored the comment or message. I tried and it truly bothered me to the point that I was upset. I had to unfriend. I cannot support or encourage this.
    So, stick with the ones that haven't logged in and drop those that cannot/will not do this in a healthy manner.
  • jteammom
    jteammom Posts: 173
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    Wow - I didn't know people were so serious about the public/private diary. Mine is private and it never occurred to me to make it public. I know when I have made good decisions - and when I know when have made bad decisions, and don't feel that I need any help with my choices at the moment. Why would you chose to not be friends with someone if their diary is private? Just curious.
  • 1southernchick
    1southernchick Posts: 301 Member
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    I just cut someone for the first time earlier this week. She constantly posted about cheating with m&ms and cookies. Then whined about not losing weight. I just don't have time for that. I only want motivated peeps on my friend list. I know people have a hard time at times and that's fine. Then I can be supportive. Heck even I have a hard time at times. But when it's like a daily event...come on, your head is really no there yet.
  • runningneo122
    runningneo122 Posts: 6,962 Member
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    Wow - I didn't know people were so serious about the public/private diary. Mine is private and it never occurred to me to make it public. I know when I have made good decisions - and when I know when have made bad decisions, and don't feel that I need any help with my choices at the moment. Why would you chose to not be friends with someone if their diary is private? Just curious.

    Under the statement, "So-and-so completed their diary....." is a comment box. How can I possibly comment without seeing what you ate and if/how much you exercised? I won't give blind praise and like a PP said I will let you know if I think your diary is showing unhealthy things as I would EXPECT my friends to do for me in return.

    I am not a health professional, but I have done my research. This is called My Fitness Pals not My Fitness Experts, so take what some people say with a grain of salt. I do.
  • Lisamarie1226
    Lisamarie1226 Posts: 335 Member
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    I've deleted people who haven't commented on anything I do for more than a week. I'm on here quite a bit sending everyone a comment; I know some people can't do it all the time or on here at different times..but you can at least comment at least once on what I've done. It's a 2 way street..not me always commenting on what you do. Before I do delete them, I check out their profile and if they haven't responded to anyone..they're off my list. I'm here to get motivated and if they aren't helping me..what's the point on keeping them? I've also deleted people who don't take it serious, who continue to eat junk food and doesn't take anyone's advice.

    What also annoys me is when people have no information about themselves.

    I feel the same way. It annoys me when people send ME a friend request, with no mention as to why, and then don't bother to comment. I don't expect a comment on everything but hey, weight loss is a good thing to comment on. I agree that I am here to support and motivate others and I DO think it's common courtesy to do the same.
  • Sharont213
    Sharont213 Posts: 323 Member
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    I am here for support if and when a friend needs it. If you are on my news feed, I try to respond. If you are away for awhile, I try to understand.. for some, this is like quitting smoking or any other 'addiction/habit' .. it may take a few attempts.. goodness knows I am not perfect at this either.. I don't cut anyone unless I know you have really quit the program .. just my thought process though
  • 1southernchick
    1southernchick Posts: 301 Member
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    Wow - I didn't know people were so serious about the public/private diary. Mine is private and it never occurred to me to make it public. I know when I have made good decisions - and when I know when have made bad decisions, and don't feel that I need any help with my choices at the moment. Why would you chose to not be friends with someone if their diary is private? Just curious.

    I have to agree. I have a private diary because...I want to!! I lost 26lbs in January. So whether someone is my friend or not really doesn't matter to me. Plenty of fish in the sea as they say.

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