When do you cut a MFP friend?

roylawrence87

I cut and add daily because I have reached my limit. If you use the phone app and not talk I'll cut ya. If you consistently miss 3 days or more, gone. If you never talk, gone. If you post about fad diets and doing them, gone. If you are just plain negative all the time, gone. I'm here to help, not spoon feed you. I know this sounds mean and all but there are people who genuinely need motivation and I am here for those. My diary isn't public because I don't count cals anymore. I don't log anything at all anymore. I don't have to. I have been on here for a year straight maybe missing a couple of days here and there but solid, I know what to do in my daily life, whats good or bad.

runningneo122

I "hide" people who don't comment on my things at all or have a private diary.

If they are whiney or looking for people to kiss their *kitten* like a psychophant, they're gone.

I'm positive and highly motivated and don't want to read all that sappy "inspirational" quotes-of-the-day stuff either.

I have a bunch of people on my news feed that interact with me and I try to avoid having to skip over stuff to get to the things that matter.

roylawrence87

I "hide" people who don't comment on my things at all or have a private diary.

If they are whiney or looking for people to kiss their *kitten* like a psychophant, they're gone.

I'm positive and highly motivated and don't want to read all that sappy "inspirational" quotes-of-the-day stuff either.

I have a bunch of people on my news feed that interact with me and I try to avoid having to skip over stuff to get to the things that matter.

Awww, you don't like my sappy motivational posts????

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

anbegley

I would give a little longer. They came here for a reason and hopefully will be back.
I agree with the person about the open diary. I love seeing what people eat, get ideas, etc. But I recently found that two people I had friended were going about weight loss in a very unhealthy way. They both had open diaries, but I started noticing that their calorie intake was only 600-800 calories and then they would have exercise earned calories at 600-800 as well. Their net was zero or worse. I tried approaching them, but they deleted or ignored the comment or message. I tried and it truly bothered me to the point that I was upset. I had to unfriend. I cannot support or encourage this.
So, stick with the ones that haven't logged in and drop those that cannot/will not do this in a healthy manner.

jteammom

Wow - I didn't know people were so serious about the public/private diary. Mine is private and it never occurred to me to make it public. I know when I have made good decisions - and when I know when have made bad decisions, and don't feel that I need any help with my choices at the moment. Why would you chose to not be friends with someone if their diary is private? Just curious.

1southernchick

I just cut someone for the first time earlier this week. She constantly posted about cheating with m&ms and cookies. Then whined about not losing weight. I just don't have time for that. I only want motivated peeps on my friend list. I know people have a hard time at times and that's fine. Then I can be supportive. Heck even I have a hard time at times. But when it's like a daily event...come on, your head is really no there yet.

runningneo122

Wow - I didn't know people were so serious about the public/private diary. Mine is private and it never occurred to me to make it public. I know when I have made good decisions - and when I know when have made bad decisions, and don't feel that I need any help with my choices at the moment. Why would you chose to not be friends with someone if their diary is private? Just curious.

Under the statement, "So-and-so completed their diary....." is a comment box. How can I possibly comment without seeing what you ate and if/how much you exercised? I won't give blind praise and like a PP said I will let you know if I think your diary is showing unhealthy things as I would EXPECT my friends to do for me in return.

I am not a health professional, but I have done my research. This is called My Fitness Pals not My Fitness Experts, so take what some people say with a grain of salt. I do.

Lisamarie1226

I've deleted people who haven't commented on anything I do for more than a week. I'm on here quite a bit sending everyone a comment; I know some people can't do it all the time or on here at different times..but you can at least comment at least once on what I've done. It's a 2 way street..not me always commenting on what you do. Before I do delete them, I check out their profile and if they haven't responded to anyone..they're off my list. I'm here to get motivated and if they aren't helping me..what's the point on keeping them? I've also deleted people who don't take it serious, who continue to eat junk food and doesn't take anyone's advice.

What also annoys me is when people have no information about themselves.

I feel the same way. It annoys me when people send ME a friend request, with no mention as to why, and then don't bother to comment. I don't expect a comment on everything but hey, weight loss is a good thing to comment on. I agree that I am here to support and motivate others and I DO think it's common courtesy to do the same.

Sharont213

I am here for support if and when a friend needs it. If you are on my news feed, I try to respond. If you are away for awhile, I try to understand.. for some, this is like quitting smoking or any other 'addiction/habit' .. it may take a few attempts.. goodness knows I am not perfect at this either.. I don't cut anyone unless I know you have really quit the program .. just my thought process though

1southernchick

Wow - I didn't know people were so serious about the public/private diary. Mine is private and it never occurred to me to make it public. I know when I have made good decisions - and when I know when have made bad decisions, and don't feel that I need any help with my choices at the moment. Why would you chose to not be friends with someone if their diary is private? Just curious.

I have to agree. I have a private diary because...I want to!! I lost 26lbs in January. So whether someone is my friend or not really doesn't matter to me. Plenty of fish in the sea as they say.

BakingGranny

I'm asking myself,"why don't they show their diary"? Are they ashamed of what they eat or what? I show so my MFP friends can comment on the things I eat or in my case,I wasn't losing b/c they seen I wasn't eating enuf. So I agree,if they are a "no-show" they're fired.

Cytherea

I don't have that many friends so it isn't a problem with limits for me; I see no reason to cut someone.

I've been unfriended by someone recently, though. It was someone that I added because we had a lot in common. I don't post on status's as often as I see a lot of people doing- maybe that was my problem? I have to say though, I was kind of offended. We weren't best friends or anything, but I like I said, we were similar and I enjoyed watching her progress and making comments when it seemed fitting. Oh well.

For me, it feels superficial to say the same things over and over again. Some variation of good job/great/nice/yay/awesome/etc. is pretty much the comment on every status, whether it is weight loss, days logged in, completing a diary, exercising, etc. So I typically don't say too much. I want to be encouraging without being annoyingly monotonous.

I also don't have my food diary public... it isn't that I have anything to hide, it is just that I don't need to be held responsible to anybody else but myself. I've seen some veiled nasty backhanded comments on the status of people who have theirs open and that bothers me. I don't want to be criticized because I chose to eat something less than healthy, or because I was stuck in a situation where I had to make a decision and get something fast instead of something good, or because I wanted to go out and enjoy myself. Why open yourself up to unnecessary criticism? I don't need the negativity in my life; I am responsible for all of my decisions. I understand why some people need that, but why would you penalize somebody and not give them your support if they don't?

1southernchick

I'm asking myself,"why don't they show their diary"? Are they ashamed of what they eat or what? I show so my MFP friends can comment on the things I eat or in my case,I wasn't losing b/c they seen I wasn't eating enuf. So I agree,if they are a "no-show" they're fired.

I'm not ashamed to show my diary! If I need help I'll ask. Let's see, I'm up to 31.6lbs lost since January 1st. Do you think I need help?

Dhathri

I agree to some of the comments posted. I was encouraging all my friends. However it appeared that there are few who are very active and threaten to delete even though they won't comment on my status. I wasn't expecting them to do but it got so annoying i deleted them.

diverdi

Hmmm... I'm just back on here for the first time since November. I spent the first few weeks of this year in a pretty low place having miscarried at 13/40 and have just started feeling ready to stop feeling sorry for myself and get back into gear.
I don't have a lot of friends on here and most of them are real life friends, but I would be pretty offended if someone thought I wasn't worthy of their friendship or just couldn't be arsed.