How do you deal with overwhelming discouragement?

trekkiebeth

This is what I mean by fully committing. Track your food - that is like the basic rule of any weight loss plan. Any program, any doctor, any article, anyone who has been successful at losing and maintaining a healthy weight will tell you that is the key. Its so easy to let little things get by and you don't realize how many calories you are actually consuming but snagging one cookie there, a glass of wine there, an extra piece of bread, fully calorie dressing. You can't approach this half-heartedly because you will continue to fail.

But I said that I eat basically the same thing every day except when I mess up at a restaurant. The only variation would be something like having an apple instead of an orange. I don't have any cookies or alcohol or high calorie dressing in the house at all. I drink only water 95% of the time.

kicklikeaGIRL

I've done nothing but gain weight the whole time I've been trying. At this point I would be happy with very slow progress as long as it was in the right direction.

You've gotta be honest with yourself. Weightloss doesn't happen over night, and as we get older and into our later 20's...our metabolism isn't has high as it once used to be. You may be disappointed that you aren't losing pounds...but have you tried measuring yourself to see how many inches you've lost? Are you REALLY eating healthy? Do you "cheat" on more days than you think? Are you being 100% honest with the foods you are eating and logging? Are you eating enough? Are you exercising and pushing yourself? Or are you just getting on the bike to get on the bike and say you've exercised? Are you strength training? Are you mixing up your exercise routines?? Are you stressing out about things? Are you drinking enough water? Are you eating clean foods? Are you eating a lot of sodium? Are you eating balanced? Are you eating smaller portion sizes and meals? Or are you eating a bulk of your calories all at once?

I ask these questions simply because I've been there...in fact...I'm there right now. I would LOVE to lose the last 20 pounds I have to lose....but I'm on a serious plateau. We're talking a plateau of a YEAR. a YEAR!!! I realized about 6 months ago that I wasn't being 100% honest with myself. I was going out to eat with my hubby more often than I realized, and I was having "cheat" foods a lot more frequent than I thought. And I was eating the bulk of my calories for 3 meals, rather than spreading it out. I also wasn't eating enough filling foods (fiber! yummm). I realized I also needed to really push myself with exercise. Push a little deeper each time. I also started to get some more variation in my workouts...did some HIIT workouts...a little Zumba...running...cycling...kickboxing...boot camp... a huge variety! Being honest with myself helped me to get past the "I'm pissed and can't lose weight" mode and focus on what I could do better. Even if I couldn't lose the weight, I was determined to FEEL better.

But, one of the things I've learned is that the scale isn't the only "determining" factor. I decided to start measuring to get an idea of how many inches I have lost. Because honestly...if I could look super lean and ripped at 150..I'd totally take it. In fact...I have a friend who was 160...and stayed 160...but went from a size 12 to a size 3. Now, thats what I'm talkin about!! I don't care about the weight (now that I am in the "healthy" range BMI) as I do about the inches lost.

I'm now in my marathon training for this year...and despite the fact I have gained 2 pounds in the last month of training...I feel amazing, and my clothes fit SO much better! I measured my inches lost, and I am amazed.....and maybe someday the scale will move downward too!!!

I hope that helps! Trust me...more people have been there than you think. Do something that makes YOU feel accomplished and good.

pinkgigi

The key is 'except when I mess up in a restaurant'. That will derail you every time, especially if you have a couple of alcoholic drinks. Also if you are eating the same every day you probably need to mix things up a bit. Basically don't expect different results if you are behaving the same way and failing.

The best way to deal with overwhelming discouragement is positive action. Every person is giving you some advice regarding that, my advice is avoid the restaurant or make sure you eat as cleanly as possible if you go.

GG

racheyanne1

I totally relate. I got a new boyfriend last year and I put on 20 pds quick. Everyone was saying I was getting so large and for me, i didnt really care b/c I was happy. A year later, i looked in the mirror and felt like a blob. Unsexy, unattractive and down. I was crying all the time. My boyfriend kept telling me I was hot, but I didnt think so. I couldnt fit anything and like you - I was too damn broke to buy a new fat closet.

I started losing slowly, 6 pounds. Then I joined here and lost another six and some inches. I still struggle. I'm dropping but not as fast as I would like It's so hard and it get so frustrated. I cry and get ****y with people all the time b/c I'm so down.

My advice is this: work hard. Sweat. Walking and bikes are good - but running burns fat. Look up from couch to 5k, good start. Also - tell yourself all the time that it takes TIME and PATIENCE. Be positive - when you workout and you know you've done well, pat yourself on the back.

Social eating and drinking are still very hard for me. I just do my best to manage. It's really hard. But I tell myself do I want that double cheeseburger and fries more than I want to feel better about me? I picture myself in the mirror crying and that does the trick. Instead I'll get a regular burger, no fries. it helps.

Second piece of advice - step away from the scale. They're evil. You dont have to track your weight weekly. It's frustrating to see numbers stay in place. Try weighing-in once a month. This really helped my sister who lost 50 pds in a year. I'm trying to do the same. Same thing with measuring, only once a month.

Stress will also keep you heavier. You need to try to relax. Again, patience. focus on the positives. If the mirror makes you sad, stay out of it. I'm telling you, at the end of a month - if you're exercising and eating well - you will see change and be really happy.



You can befriend me if you want. I'm very supportive and I know what you're going through. it's tough.

kicklikeaGIRL

Also, to continue my ramble..haha... I was going to say that you look GREAT! And honestly...when you don't have a lot to lose...it takes longer. I always think of how long it took me to put on the extra 20 pounds...and it probably took me a few years to put on. Actually I know it did. So...I'm ok with it taking a while to get off. My body seems to think its "happy" at this weight...but I'm not satisfied!!

You CAN and you WILL do this!! Don't get stressed...I always have to tell myself that...because stress=weight gain. Do what makes you feel good!!!

jkestens63

I don't understand why I'm still being asked about my eating habits when I've already given that information or why I'm being asked how long I exercise when I already gave that information too. Plus I've written this twice:

**** I mostly need to know what do to about how I'm feeling. The overwhelming discouragement and depression and wanting to cry when I look in the mirror. ****

If you are that depressed and unhappy, the answers will not be found here. You need to find someone to talk to in person - whether its a minister, counselor, psychiatrist. The reason we are focusing on the food & exercise angle is because no matter what state your head is at, if you don't change the behaviors that you made you gain the weight - you can be the happiest person in the world and you will still be overweight. We can't give you advice about what is making you depressed - but what we know is how to eat right and exercise. One thing to consider, rather than focusing on what is in the mirror, focus on just changing the lifestyle regardless of what the outcome is. And it doesn't have to be a complete 180 all at once. For example, for a month - when you go out with friends skip dessert, or alcohol or the high fat side dish (ex switch mashed potatoes for steamed cauliflower). Make one healthy change in habits and focus on that. Start building up. If you have some success in smaller things it may make you feel better too.

crystal_sapphire

The only thing I can think is that my social eating is killing it, although I don't know why I'm gaining so fast when I'm doing so well with exercise.

I mostly need to know what do to about how I'm feeling. The overwhelming discouragement and depression and wanting to cry when I look in the mirror.

one thing to remember is that weight loss is 80% food and 20% exercise meaning that what you eat is what contributes the most to your weight loss

2011EP

I put on 35 lbs within the last year and a half and I feel so gross because this is the biggest I have ever been in my life. And even though I'm making small progress I just can't be happy with myself when I see my reflection in the mirror. I am afraid of dropping things on the floor in public because I it's embarrassing for me to have to pick it up and I think about not getting up out of my seat during class because it draws attention to my weight. I understand how it feels to be at the lowest possible point. My cholesterol is too high and I skipped my period 8 times last year.

I think the best thing to do is realize we're living our lives more healthily and this is really for the best and that you'll only start to see change when you embrace this whole weight loss thing as a way to make yourself more beautiful, to be the best you. As for the numbers on the scale, keep up the excercise and meet your eating goals and you should see change. The most important thing is to never give up---believe.

I believe in you. You seem like a strong, smart individual. You got this!

trekkiebeth

racheyanne1: Thanks! My boyfriend also tells me I'm hot, but I don't think I am. I think I'm going to take your advice about the scale. That would probably help my stress too.

2011EP: Thank you for the encouraging words!