Why is there so many people that try to sabotage your journe

bzmom

shoot I would place an order to arrive around the same time as the rest of the meal! except mine would be a healthier choise they can stare and drool!!!

rockabyesarojane

i would try packing your lunch and then saying something like:
"oh sorry. i packed my lunch today and i dont want my food to go to waste after i took the time to prepare it ahead of time"

hopefully she wont keep pushing after that. just think ahead of time of different polite excuses for statements that she has thrown at you in the past. (just try to go in with your amunition so that she cant catch you off guard)

good luck! i know how hard this is because my obese Aunt gets on my case alot for the fact that I want to lose weight. meanwhile, she has heart trouble. craziness.

jenniix

You're strong by not giving in. She's not a true friend if she's doing that to you... on purpose.
Don't go to lunch with her anymore, either go somewhere else healthier or bring your own lunch. Don't let her get to you and don't cave in, it'll basically only give her what she wants from what I can see. She's not being supportive for you, like a real friend would be.

And for the lasagna... No one can make you eat it. Bring your own food that you like. Don't let anyone give you crap for it. Keep it up!

monkeydharma

I like that crab analogy - I think I'll use it in the future.

People are what people are. If you think of your diet as a task or project, it's easy to feel that people are trying to sabotage it. If you treat it as a lifestyle change, then it is easier to stand your ground.

Many years ago, I was slim, trim...and vegetarian. That was my lifestyle at the time, back when it was less understood - or tolerated. Many of my friends, coworkers and even relatives acted in a manner not unlike your coworker. Since my lifestyle was at odds with theirs, I couldn't really get mad at them for living according to theirs, but I did act proactively in order to avoid clashes.

In the case of work, I would either bring my lunch or have acceptable snacks stashed in my desk that I could eat before/after going to the meat pits that my friends wanted to eat at. If I went with them, I would have a salad or something non-carnivore.

At home, I made a deal with my wife - if the meal could separate out the meat (such as spaghetti and meatballs), she would set aside a portion of the sauce meatless, etc. If she couldn't (like making turkey soup) then I was responsible for my own meal.

If we went to eat at relatives, I didn't make them adhere to my standards - I would just bring along my own meatless entree (enough for two or three persons). I would then add whatever sides they had that I could eat, and mom would serve my entree on my plate instead of hers. Sometimes my entree looked interesting enough that someone wanted some as well, in which case I could then show off vegetarian cooking.

Eating healthily -is- a lifestyle. Plan ahead so that you can coexist with your friends and relatives. If anyone is aggressively trying to undercut you, treat them the same way as if they were trying to subvert your religion or marriage or anything else you hold important - distance yourself from them. But grant them all the compassion you would like for them to grant you. That is the golden rule, yes?

ka_42

Unfortunately I think everyone has a friend like this. To be completely honest I just turned around my thoughts about my friend- looked at what she ate and thought- she's so gross. I turned it into an "I'm better then her" thing. Maybe not the smartest way to handle the situation but it works! I'd get a side salad and say something like.. wow- that doesn't even look good to me anymore- I just look at it and see the scale going up! Not worth it!

kknudson

It sounds like your friend is working through her own issues. Remember that friendship is a two-way street. You are upset with her for not remembering all of the changes you've made to your usual routine, but have you offered her the same support in her habits?

I noticed your post and title are coming off as if you feel there are people in your life who are intentionally and personally attacking you, maybe trying to hold you back from losing weight. If this is the case, it's most likely your view of their actions is a bit scewed, since it's a rare case where someone literally doesn't want a friend/family to be healthy. Others may not feel as gung-ho about your weightloss because they're not you, living in your head with all the excitement and determination that comes with meeting your goals.

My advice would be to have a talk (or several) with the people you feel have a problem with your weightloss. Let them know what your goals are, ask them to be supportive of you decisions... even if the choices you have to make for your health mean less of/a change in your usual routine with them. When you're discussing this, you'll be more successful if you're not defensive or accusing, just open and honest. Remember that you're changing the routine of two people, here. It will take some getting used to on his/her part, and you have to give them time to adjust.

In the end, it's you that's going to lose the weight for yourself. Hopefully you can surround yourself with supportive people, but if you still can't get through to your friend, that doesn't mean you can't still meet your goals! As you well know, it's hard to change

tvanderberg

Distance yourself from people like that! They mean you no good!

time2move

Who are you doing this for? YOU or HER? Bring your own lunch or order something else. If she's a good friend, and having a hard time dealing with your journey, suggest a place and stick with it.

My mom will bring cookies or something unhealthy when she comes to visit. She knows I'm working hard, but she's also overweight and can't "find time" to workout. Her phrase is "one won't hurt". Well, yes, it will. I know me!