Does anyone else get scared thinking of the final goal?

susu5

I will be your friend!!!!

bluiz13

bump to finish reading later and to possibly add my own "fears" and thoughts...

bluiz13

duplicate post....sorry

brendansmom1

bump to read later

pittielover23

Honestly, it is really really good that you recognize this already! It took me a long time to realize that part of me is scared to be skinny. I don't really know HOW to be skinny. But I also know that I certainly do not like being the fat girl either, so something has got to give.

It is going to happy gradually, not overnight. We can adjust as we go along. Just recognize any self-sabotaging behaviors and get rid of them!

Tree72

I've definitely had lots of thoughts like these. I feel very fortunate to have a few good friends who have helped me through the roughest of the times so far. I had a big mental block about getting under 200 that took a lot of effort to work through. I've just this week hit another goal of getting to "overweight" rather than obese on the BMI scale, and it was a bit rough too. It's going to take a while to adjust my mental image of myself.

I've spent a fair amount of time thinking about how much of other peoples' reactions to you and how they treat you has to do with how you appear and how much has to do with how you perceive yourself. Do people treat you differently because you are a more socially acceptable weight, or because you see yourself as more acceptable? Are they reacting more to your looks or your attitude? I definitely think both elements come into play, but how much varies for different people.

I also worry about people's expectations. I'm not a very average person in many ways, and what if people expect me to be "normal" when I'm at a "normal weight". Being obese it's pretty easy to get people to ignore you and discount your abilities. I think society has different expectations for people of a healthy weight than it does for the obese. What does that mean on a daily basis, and do I really care? It's a lot to think about sometimes.

So far my results are mostly positive. I have more energy, and that gives me more options. I very much started this journey to be healthier, not because I was feeling any other pressures.

That's enough rambling for now, but hopefully you know you are not alone in your fears and concerns. Best wishes on continuing your journey.

cherilyn221

Love these responses....they are so representative of what makes MFP work so successfully. We all have some of the same challenges regardless of our starting place or current spot in this journey toward better health and can understand and support each other.

LovelySnugs

pulling it back up in my topics. having some thoughts on the subject and may add them later.

bluiz13

okay i bumped this about a month ago to add my thoughts and am just getting around to doing so now...

i have done organized weight loss programs like weight watchers and jenny craig as well as journalling and counting calories on my own pretty much my whole adult life....truthfully i have no idea what my actual weight was in HS but i do have jeans from then and they are a size 20 from fashion bug - the plus size side - i remember always having to buy plus sized clothes back then.....i know all through HS and college i felt like the heavy/fat friend and even as an adult post college living in south florida and going to the dance clubs with my "smaller" friends, i felt like the fat friend....i didnt have boyfriends or hookups cause i was sooo self conscious of my body that i dont think i opened myself up for that to happen, maybe i just wasnt attractive enough due to my weight but if i'm really honest with myself i dont think that was the case....i may not have felt pretty cause of my weight but i know i had a pretty face at least lol....

so now i am over 3 years into this journey for the absolute LAST time, working sooo hard to change my life to become the person i have always wanted to be....

when i started in january 2008 after having my daughter (2nd child) i was 253.8 but my highest was 3 years before that when i had my son and reached 263lbs and stayed there for a full year post partum (his first birthday pics are a nightmare - 263lbs of yuck - but i have them forever to see and reflect on)....

anyway, on 1/1/08 i set a goal to get below 200 - 199 by 12/31/08...it was a lofty goal, one that i'm sure i had set before and never reached...i hadnt been under 200 since before 2000....well i didnt make my goal that first year or in 2009 either...

BUT i did get into onederland in december 2010 and i honestly have not looked back since.....i am bouncing around between 179-184 right now since the beginning of april and ultimately i'd like to reach 145 and then "STICK" in the 140-150 range.....my friends, coworkers, boss, husband have NEVER seen me at this size...this is the smallest i have been since probably middle school??????

i keep saying to my friends and family that i'm JUST 35lbs away from my goal weight and it honestly doesnt seem like that much more but i think it's cause i have already lost almost 75lbs....i finally feel the LOSSES....i feel awesome even though when i look in the mirror i still see soooo much "work" that has to be done, BUT I DONT SEE THAT FAT GIRL THAT I WAS!!!!! i'm not happy to stay at 180ish but i'm HAPPY i'm not 250ish or 230ish or 200ish....

i have NEVER had to maintain my weight....i have always just lived my life heavy and eaten as a heavy person OR i have been busting my *kitten* everyday to get the weight off....i dont know how to eat for maintenance...i know you have to eat more and that is something i am going to seriously have to work on accepting.....dont get me wrong lol, i like to eat, but when i eat more and more and more i GAIN weight...

i have to realize that in this whole time i've been making this journey i have transformed my life....i have made changes that i can live with...i refuse to give up things that i cant live without...i have chinese takeout with my husband every thurs night, i eat cake when we go to bday party, i have a glass of wine or two with the girls on MNO, i eat wings if we go to a sports bar....i refused this time to deprive myself of the things i love.....i just have to make up for the difference by getting in the workouts....but on that note i refuse to spend every free hour in the gym...i work full time, i have 2 small children and a husband that need me....i have to make the time and make the workouts i choose to do count for something.....

how often do "regular" people who are not trying to lose weight weigh themselves??? how hard is it going to be for those of us that have struggled and tracked for sooooooo long not to feel the desire to jump on the scale everyday??? to be able to use our clothes and how they feel/fit and our actual EYES to see how we are doing and not a number on a scale is VERY VERY scary to me....what if i cant do it??? what if i dont know how to be thin? what if i cant keep up this lifestyle i have worked soooo hard to create over the last 3 years???? these are things that worry me...

but i know that because i have taken my time to get where i am the changes are more likely to be permanent...but i'm still very afraid....right now i just want to be "OVERWEIGHT"...i can't weight to get to 173 and no longer be obese...it will come and then the next step will be getting "HEALTHY"....that too will come in time....although i know i'm already healthier than i ever have been - in mind, body and spirit....