Jealousy as motivation

zydratethief

Hello my Sweets!

Quick question for all of you lovely people!

Have anyone of you ever used jealousy as a tool for motivation? I know it sounds odd, but think it through.. For instance, i was at a cafe with a couple of friends when who should enter but an ex of mine with his new-found-muscle-bound-love...

Now without a cigarette to inhale deeply and vodka nowhere near in site, i gulped down my steaming black coffee... (terribly good, aren't i? )...While my friends sort of shielded me from any untoward attention...luckily all they got was a takeaway, and left quickly, and we all continued out conversations as if nothing had happened.

I however, silently said to myself "RIGHT! You're gonna be a gym bunny incarnate now", and i got close, i upped my gym visits from 2 to 4 times a week and running from 2 to 3 times a week . My Personal Trainer even noticed my new determination and was like "Wow dude im impressed etc etc you've improved massively etc etc"

So the questions is people, have you ever used jealousy as motivation?

ouryear002

I think of it more as revenge and the ablitiy to feel superior to others. :laugh: When I am being hot and eating virtuosly I can smugly tell myself that I am a better person and everyone who thought I was fat can suck it. I think there is a little mean spirited shallow person inside of all of us, so we should use it to our advantage when it doesn't actually hurt anyone else. :flowerforyou:

kao708

Whatever works! :drinker:

kathrynarnold

Story of my life sweetheart

iluvmine

yep all the time.. but i wouldnt really call it jealousy..all my exes new girls look a hot mess...

OGFleabag

I will have to admit I had a twinge of revenge buried deep in my getting fit journey - just a wee bit.

ExpectingToFly

All the time. My best friend is naturally thin and seeing her every day is enough motivation for me to keep losing weight!

khillman77

Hell Yeah everytime I think of my ex husband and his new wife (now his ex-wife) :laugh:

rockabyesarojane

I guess you could technically call mine jealousy too.
I have a group of friends who are all just drop dead GORGEOUS! I was never upset that they were admired but did get sick of not being "checked out" with the rest of them. One day I decided I was done feeling inferior and I was done hearing comments about how great my personality is...

Mrs_McFadden

I think this is by far, the best post I've seen in the motivation section bar none! And bravo to that!
Let us delve into our petty selves for a moment over coffee::

I think that as long as you are aware of how you are thinking and not letting it get to a full blown obsessive crazy depth of jealousy and really be possessed by it, it's a perfectly legitimate way of motivating yourself.

Also, I think that people have to remember that being your GW or ideal body compositions is *not* a panacea for happiness.

You just have to be realistic about these things. It's all good and fun to play Walter Mitty when you're zoning out on your treadmill but don't go off on the deep end and think that your former lover will change and beg at your feet, or your friends will all of a sudden realize how truly beautiful you are etc. Or your boss will ask you out or something.

Among my reasons for getting fit are a nice array of snarky, petty, mean winds beneath my wings

kknudson

THIS. THIS IS MY LIFE.

ceebs9

I think this is by far, the best post I've seen in the motivation section bar none! And bravo to that!
Let us delve into our petty selves for a moment over coffee::

I think that as long as you are aware of how you are thinking and not letting it get to a full blown obsessive crazy depth of jealousy and really be possessed by it, it's a perfectly legitimate way of motivating yourself.

Also, I think that people have to remember that being your GW or ideal body compositions is *not* a panacea for happiness.

You just have to be realistic about these things. It's all good and fun to play Walter Mitty when you're zoning out on your treadmill but don't go off on the deep end and think that your former lover will change and beg at your feet, or your friends will all of a sudden realize how truly beautiful you are etc. Or your boss will ask you out or something.

Among my reasons for getting fit are a nice array of snarky, petty, mean winds beneath my wings

Nice post!

OP you cracked me up.

zydratethief

You just have to be realistic about these things. It's all good and fun to play Walter Mitty when you're zoning out on your treadmill but don't go off on the deep end and think that your former lover will change and beg at your feet, or your friends will all of a sudden realize how truly beautiful you are etc. Or your boss will ask you out or something.

Among my reasons for getting fit are a nice array of snarky, petty, mean winds beneath my wings

true, true, I aint getting obsessive, and god knows i don't want him back...but god knows i want him to burn like a M£$%^&R with envy...heheh

FearAnLoathing

So colecting the sweat and hair of the person im jealous of wont help me be like them,damn
does anyone need some sweat and hair?

123456654321

I do find inspiration from people that look good to me weather they be friends, celebrities, strangers on t he street or an ex. I am very motivated by the people around me. I wouldn't call it jealousy because there isn't really a negative or competitive feeling attached to it, but I could definitely see how something like your experience could be some great motivation!

...Whatever works! Keep up the great work! Next time he sees you he might be thinking the same thing!

misschaplin

So colecting the sweat and hair of the person im jealous of wont help me be like them,damn
does anyone need some sweat and hair?

Rotfl :laugh:

I do think as long it "healthy jealousy" maybe Envy being the better word then its fine.
I am very envious of a lot of my thinner friends, and I think it can give you a litte (much needed sometimes) shove in the right direction.
Whatever helps I guess

kelligonzales

I think this is by far, the best post I've seen in the motivation section bar none! And bravo to that!
Let us delve into our petty selves for a moment over coffee::

I think that as long as you are aware of how you are thinking and not letting it get to a full blown obsessive crazy depth of jealousy and really be possessed by it, it's a perfectly legitimate way of motivating yourself.

Also, I think that people have to remember that being your GW or ideal body compositions is *not* a panacea for happiness.

You just have to be realistic about these things. It's all good and fun to play Walter Mitty when you're zoning out on your treadmill but don't go off on the deep end and think that your former lover will change and beg at your feet, or your friends will all of a sudden realize how truly beautiful you are etc. Or your boss will ask you out or something.

Among my reasons for getting fit are a nice array of snarky, petty, mean winds beneath my wings

Obsessive crazy what's that?! ha ha ha ha I don't know the meaning of to far ha ha ha :laugh:

myofibril

So the questions is people, have you ever used jealousy as motivation?

Not so much jealousy as love (actually lust...) The reason I got into weights all those years ago was because I was desparate to get the attention of a particular girl. However, a weird thing happened in the four or five months it took me to lean out (god bless a youthful metabolism.) I lost interest in the girl completely and fell in love with someone altogether more appealing. Myself. Admittedly I have never quite shaken the touch of vanity that period of change instilled in me. However, in the words of Oscar Wilde "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance" and romance makes life worth living.

I think that time was a real blessing. It forever etched in my mind that now matter how pretty the packaging it cannot compare to the beauty of your spirit. That is the real thing of value and the beacon to which people are utlimately attracted. A strong sense of self belief and worth trumps a nice exterior every day of the week....

anubis609

I've never been the "jealous" type. I have a superiority complex supported by delusions of grandeur to further my deepest desire to have everyone else become jealous of me. Personally, I believe it's the greatest form of self-motivation. To stand out above the rest because the majority of society is aesthetically displeasing.

zydratethief

I've never been the "jealous" type. I have a superiority complex supported by delusions of grandeur to further my deepest desire to have everyone else become jealous of me. Personally, I believe it's the greatest form of self-motivation. To stand out above the rest because the majority of society is aesthetically displeasing.

srs lulz

Shaye85

ohhhh yes, best kind of motivation ever, i had this girl who was best friends with my x husband and when we seperated( it was only 2 weeks!!) she ****ed him...not only did this girl piss me off before when we were dating by calling me a whale and disgusting but she had the nerve to come to my wedding, try and be-friend me afterwards and THEN sleep with my husband when we were having hard times...but karma always gets those people, she has one kid with a stripper and another with a crack head who slept with HER neighbor...im glad she knows how it feels now... haha!! and now that im much lighter she cant call me a whale and when im 125lbs im gonna rub it in her smug face MUAHAHAHAHAHA:smokin:

backinthenines

I think of it more as revenge and the ablitiy to feel superior to others. :laugh: When I am being hot and eating virtuosly I can smugly tell myself that I am a better person and everyone who thought I was fat can suck it. I think there is a little mean spirited shallow person inside of all of us, so we should use it to our advantage when it doesn't actually hurt anyone else. :flowerforyou:

So the huge irony there is that the behaviour larger people often object to, is the behaviour later exhibited when/if they have list some weight??

I think there is something a bit sad about this one-upmanship.

It's rife among women though.

backinthenines

Deleted double post.

LarryPGH

I think of it more as revenge and the ablitiy to feel superior to others. :laugh: When I am being hot and eating virtuosly I can smugly tell myself that I am a better person and everyone who thought I was fat can suck it. I think there is a little mean spirited shallow person inside of all of us, so we should use it to our advantage when it doesn't actually hurt anyone else. :flowerforyou:

So the huge irony there is that the behaviour larger people often object to, is the behaviour later exhibited when/if they have list some weight??

I think there is something a bit sad about this one-upmanship.

It's rife among women though.

Hmm... I'd buy what you're saying if the original quote was "everyone who is fat can suck it" -- but that isn't it: instead, it seems to me that the idea here is that folks see an overweight person and think that the "being overweight" is what defines the person, almost as if there's no one there other than a fat, out of shape loser. On the contrary, though, the OP says that, once having demonstrated that there's more to them than what their appearance suggests, then there's actual proof that they're shallow and mean-spirited. (That implies, then, that rather than looking at other overweight folks smugly, the OP will have demonstrated that all overweight folks aren't slugs -- and that their detractors are the ones in the wrong.)

Ahh... my studies in philosophy have such odd dividends...!

backinthenines

No what i meant was that larger people often complain and feel that people look down on then, if your subsequent motivation is to lose weight so you can look down on others, how does that make you any better?

Surely that's just a case of "now it's my turn to be unpleasant".

zydratethief

No what i means was that larger people often complain and feel that people look down on then, if your subsequent motivation is to lose weight so you can look down on others, how does that make you any better?

Surely that's just a case of "now it's my turn to be unpleasant".

Revenge is sweet, and id be lying if i said if never thought of doing that, but truth is i have, BUT i have never actually acted on it :P

But its more like "Oh that person didnt hit on me when i was fat, and now that ive lost it , they are going gaga over me, so i think il just ignore them "

LarryPGH

No what i meant was that larger people often complain and feel that people look down on then, if your subsequent motivation is to lose weight so you can look down on others, how does that make you any better?

Surely that's just a case of "now it's my turn to be unpleasant".

Aah, I see what you mean, now.

Of course, in the case of the original antagonists, the disdain was unprovoked; in this case, isn't the reaction a (somewhat more justifiable?) response?

backinthenines

But my response was not to the OP but in relation to the quote i posted. I agree with you regarding the OPs circumstances.:-)

backinthenines

Sorry another double post. Must be my phone.

ouryear002

But its more like "Oh that person didnt hit on me when i was fat, and now that ive lost it , they are going gaga over me, so i think il just ignore them "
[/quote]

Exactly. My comment was meant to be a funny, sorry if it offended. I don't actually believe I am better (or less than) anyone else, especially not because I do or do not eat a Twinkie. It is more about feeling good about what you have accomplished and recognizing that the people who were not impressed or interested because you were overweight deserve your pity for missing out on your awesomeness instead of giving them the power to make you feel bad.

foodforfuel

Edited because it didn't appear as a quote.