Jealousy as motivation

foodforfuel

So the questions is people, have you ever used jealousy as motivation?

Not so much jealousy as love (actually lust...) The reason I got into weights all those years ago was because I was desparate to get the attention of a particular girl. However, a weird thing happened in the four or five months it took me to lean out (god bless a youthful metabolism.) I lost interest in the girl completely and fell in love with someone altogether more appealing. Myself. Admittedly I have never quite shaken the touch of vanity that period of change instilled in me. However, in the words of Oscar Wilde "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance" and romance makes life worth living.

I think that time was a real blessing. It forever etched in my mind that now matter how pretty the packaging it cannot compare to the beauty of your spirit. That is the real thing of value and the beacon to which people are utlimately attracted. A strong sense of self belief and worth trumps a nice exterior every day of the week....

chris0912

So colecting the sweat and hair of the person im jealous of wont help me be like them,damn
does anyone need some sweat and hair?

LMFAO!!

jenniferbisson

I think a lot of unpleasant down-looking is just low self esteem trying to bring everyone down lower than you view yourself - and I'm guilty as the rest of you haha. I think its just that years and years of getting hurt and being told you're not valued as much as Whoever lives up to the ideal - it often is bottled up and locked away in safe keeping for the day we can unleash our baggage like a weapon when we feel slightly more powerful ( more valued). It's messed up. I have to start meditating again and cleansing my mind of the negative backlog of mean words - because even though it feels good temporarily to see your exes jaw drop with regret seeing you in your new svelte body... at the end of the day its just you, and thats got to be enough. It's tempting to play games and try to make them feel as bad as they made you feel, but I don't think I personally will Ever be satisfied with my exes level of pain... so might as well try to just let it go. This rambling is pretty incoherent, but basically I just wanted to say that I relate, and hope that I can find a more effective form of self empowerment than baiting my ex. Maybe evolve a bit and get motivated to look my best for the Next partner, not for my last. ITS TOUGH THOUGH!!

JoyousRen

true, true, I aint getting obsessive, and god knows i don't want him back...but god knows i want him to burn like a M£$%^&R with envy...heheh

LMAO. This makes me smile in my heart.

backinthenines

So... when a person's main driver is someone else's envy or jealousy as some kind of pay back, whether that's the ex who dumped you, or the sister that has stolen your limelight all your life...

What happens when their jealousy or envy never happens?? :huh:

What if sister just smiles and says "well done babe"?!
What if the ex just smiles and says "glad your happy"?!

I think some people live with so much internal anger and hostility about weight, that they assume when they're thin everyone will feel the same envy that they ahve felt all that time, and I don't think that's the case with a lot of people?

Jennifer, I liked what you posted about finding some more positive and effective form of empowerment.

daisy89

So, a portion of my motivation isn't jealousy, but rather I don't know, revenge?

Long story short, before my roommate and I met she had recently lost A LOT of weight, by not eating. She's told me she went from 225 to 125 in about 5-6 months, as a consequence she was left with seriously saggy skin ALL over her body, mind you she was only 17 at the time, so it's a pretty big issue to her. Now, forward to the time we met and she had gained some weight back, and was weighing anywhere from 160-180.

At that point in time, I too weighed from 150-160. Well, one of things she does, to try to put me down, is always talk about how I shouldn't "show-off" my body, or talk about how good I feel that day, or wear "revealing" clothes. She's told me a thousand times how she hates it when I look better in clothes than she does, and her boyfriend has admitted that she's jealous of my body/skin. This negative attitude has also increased since I've started to lose weight and look a lot better.

I know this is all stems from her confidence issues, but she ALWAYS nitpicks MY body whenever I wear something different or nice when I go on a date with my boyfriend.

Well, I've decided that I really don't give a d*nm about her and her saggy skin, and that I'm going to look good no matter what she says about it! It's not my fault she decided to lose weight by not eating instead of exercising, and it's certainly not my cross to bear.

zydratethief

So... when a person's main driver is someone else's envy or jealousy as some kind of pay back, whether that's the ex who dumped you, or the sister that has stolen your limelight all your life...

Maybe its just me, but i see that as, erm, a kickstart to motivation? ... That was how i lost the first 100 lbs!

What if sister just smiles and says "well done babe"?!
What if the ex just smiles and says "glad your happy"?!

That would dissapoint me...hehe... kiddin!