Jealousy as motivation

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  • backinthenines
    backinthenines Posts: 1,083 Member
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    I think of it more as revenge and the ablitiy to feel superior to others. :laugh: When I am being hot and eating virtuosly I can smugly tell myself that I am a better person and everyone who thought I was fat can suck it. I think there is a little mean spirited shallow person inside of all of us, so we should use it to our advantage when it doesn't actually hurt anyone else. :flowerforyou:

    So the huge irony there is that the behaviour larger people often object to, is the behaviour later exhibited when/if they have list some weight??

    I think there is something a bit sad about this one-upmanship.

    It's rife among women though.
  • backinthenines
    backinthenines Posts: 1,083 Member
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    Deleted double post.
  • LarryPGH
    LarryPGH Posts: 349 Member
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    I think of it more as revenge and the ablitiy to feel superior to others. :laugh: When I am being hot and eating virtuosly I can smugly tell myself that I am a better person and everyone who thought I was fat can suck it. I think there is a little mean spirited shallow person inside of all of us, so we should use it to our advantage when it doesn't actually hurt anyone else. :flowerforyou:

    So the huge irony there is that the behaviour larger people often object to, is the behaviour later exhibited when/if they have list some weight??

    I think there is something a bit sad about this one-upmanship.

    It's rife among women though.

    Hmm... I'd buy what you're saying if the original quote was "everyone who is fat can suck it" -- but that isn't it: instead, it seems to me that the idea here is that folks see an overweight person and think that the "being overweight" is what defines the person, almost as if there's no one there other than a fat, out of shape loser. On the contrary, though, the OP says that, once having demonstrated that there's more to them than what their appearance suggests, then there's actual proof that they're shallow and mean-spirited. (That implies, then, that rather than looking at other overweight folks smugly, the OP will have demonstrated that all overweight folks aren't slugs -- and that their detractors are the ones in the wrong.)

    Ahh... my studies in philosophy have such odd dividends...!
  • backinthenines
    backinthenines Posts: 1,083 Member
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    No what i meant was that larger people often complain and feel that people look down on then, if your subsequent motivation is to lose weight so you can look down on others, how does that make you any better?

    Surely that's just a case of "now it's my turn to be unpleasant".
  • zydratethief
    zydratethief Posts: 171
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    No what i means was that larger people often complain and feel that people look down on then, if your subsequent motivation is to lose weight so you can look down on others, how does that make you any better?

    Surely that's just a case of "now it's my turn to be unpleasant".

    Revenge is sweet, and id be lying if i said if never thought of doing that, but truth is i have, BUT i have never actually acted on it :P

    But its more like "Oh that person didnt hit on me when i was fat, and now that ive lost it , they are going gaga over me, so i think il just ignore them "
  • LarryPGH
    LarryPGH Posts: 349 Member
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    No what i meant was that larger people often complain and feel that people look down on then, if your subsequent motivation is to lose weight so you can look down on others, how does that make you any better?

    Surely that's just a case of "now it's my turn to be unpleasant".

    Aah, I see what you mean, now.

    Of course, in the case of the original antagonists, the disdain was unprovoked; in this case, isn't the reaction a (somewhat more justifiable?) response?
  • backinthenines
    backinthenines Posts: 1,083 Member
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    But my response was not to the OP but in relation to the quote i posted. I agree with you regarding the OPs circumstances.:-)
  • backinthenines
    backinthenines Posts: 1,083 Member
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    Sorry another double post. Must be my phone.
  • ouryear002
    ouryear002 Posts: 325 Member
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    But its more like "Oh that person didnt hit on me when i was fat, and now that ive lost it , they are going gaga over me, so i think il just ignore them "
    [/quote]

    Exactly. My comment was meant to be a funny, sorry if it offended. I don't actually believe I am better (or less than) anyone else, especially not because I do or do not eat a Twinkie. It is more about feeling good about what you have accomplished and recognizing that the people who were not impressed or interested because you were overweight deserve your pity for missing out on your awesomeness instead of giving them the power to make you feel bad.
  • foodforfuel
    foodforfuel Posts: 569 Member
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    Edited because it didn't appear as a quote.
  • foodforfuel
    foodforfuel Posts: 569 Member
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    So the questions is people, have you ever used jealousy as motivation?

    Not so much jealousy as love (actually lust...) The reason I got into weights all those years ago was because I was desparate to get the attention of a particular girl. However, a weird thing happened in the four or five months it took me to lean out (god bless a youthful metabolism.) I lost interest in the girl completely and fell in love with someone altogether more appealing. Myself. Admittedly I have never quite shaken the touch of vanity that period of change instilled in me. However, in the words of Oscar Wilde "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance" and romance makes life worth living.

    I think that time was a real blessing. It forever etched in my mind that now matter how pretty the packaging it cannot compare to the beauty of your spirit. That is the real thing of value and the beacon to which people are utlimately attracted. A strong sense of self belief and worth trumps a nice exterior every day of the week....

    :wink:
  • chris0912
    chris0912 Posts: 242 Member
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    So colecting the sweat and hair of the person im jealous of wont help me be like them,damn
    does anyone need some sweat and hair?

    LMFAO!!
  • jenniferbisson
    jenniferbisson Posts: 5 Member
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    I think a lot of unpleasant down-looking is just low self esteem trying to bring everyone down lower than you view yourself - and I'm guilty as the rest of you haha. I think its just that years and years of getting hurt and being told you're not valued as much as Whoever lives up to the ideal - it often is bottled up and locked away in safe keeping for the day we can unleash our baggage like a weapon when we feel slightly more powerful ( more valued). It's messed up. I have to start meditating again and cleansing my mind of the negative backlog of mean words - because even though it feels good temporarily to see your exes jaw drop with regret seeing you in your new svelte body... at the end of the day its just you, and thats got to be enough. It's tempting to play games and try to make them feel as bad as they made you feel, but I don't think I personally will Ever be satisfied with my exes level of pain... so might as well try to just let it go. This rambling is pretty incoherent, but basically I just wanted to say that I relate, and hope that I can find a more effective form of self empowerment than baiting my ex. Maybe evolve a bit and get motivated to look my best for the Next partner, not for my last. ITS TOUGH THOUGH!!
  • JoyousRen
    JoyousRen Posts: 3,823 Member
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    true, true, I aint getting obsessive, and god knows i don't want him back...but god knows i want him to burn like a M£$%^&R with envy...heheh
    LMAO. This makes me smile in my heart.
  • backinthenines
    backinthenines Posts: 1,083 Member
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    So... when a person's main driver is someone else's envy or jealousy as some kind of pay back, whether that's the ex who dumped you, or the sister that has stolen your limelight all your life...

    What happens when their jealousy or envy never happens?? :huh:

    What if sister just smiles and says "well done babe"?!
    What if the ex just smiles and says "glad your happy"?!

    I think some people live with so much internal anger and hostility about weight, that they assume when they're thin everyone will feel the same envy that they ahve felt all that time, and I don't think that's the case with a lot of people?

    Jennifer, I liked what you posted about finding some more positive and effective form of empowerment. :smile:
  • daisy89
    daisy89 Posts: 151 Member
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    So, a portion of my motivation isn't jealousy, but rather I don't know, revenge?

    Long story short, before my roommate and I met she had recently lost A LOT of weight, by not eating. She's told me she went from 225 to 125 in about 5-6 months, as a consequence she was left with seriously saggy skin ALL over her body, mind you she was only 17 at the time, so it's a pretty big issue to her. Now, forward to the time we met and she had gained some weight back, and was weighing anywhere from 160-180.

    At that point in time, I too weighed from 150-160. Well, one of things she does, to try to put me down, is always talk about how I shouldn't "show-off" my body, or talk about how good I feel that day, or wear "revealing" clothes. She's told me a thousand times how she hates it when I look better in clothes than she does, and her boyfriend has admitted that she's jealous of my body/skin. This negative attitude has also increased since I've started to lose weight and look a lot better.

    I know this is all stems from her confidence issues, but she ALWAYS nitpicks MY body whenever I wear something different or nice when I go on a date with my boyfriend.

    Well, I've decided that I really don't give a d*nm about her and her saggy skin, and that I'm going to look good no matter what she says about it! It's not my fault she decided to lose weight by not eating instead of exercising, and it's certainly not my cross to bear.
  • zydratethief
    zydratethief Posts: 171
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    So... when a person's main driver is someone else's envy or jealousy as some kind of pay back, whether that's the ex who dumped you, or the sister that has stolen your limelight all your life...

    Maybe its just me, but i see that as, erm, a kickstart to motivation? ... That was how i lost the first 100 lbs!


    What if sister just smiles and says "well done babe"?!
    What if the ex just smiles and says "glad your happy"?!

    That would dissapoint me...hehe... kiddin!

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