Why is it so hard to say 'I'm fat'?

stephaniezoundi

I have always struggled with calling myself fat...even though in my heart of hearts I knew it to be true. I suppose, using that word is admitting to the fact that there is a problem there that should be dealt with. If I didn't call myself fat, then it wasn't something that I had to face.

Secondly, there is a negative connitation(sp) attached to the word. It is what the bullies at school used or was part of a joke. Some how 'Your Momma's Big Boned' doesn't exactly have the same effect!

MamaReebs

I have always just said that I am overweight. Unless I am talking to my husband, then sometimes I might say I am fat. But I will not be fat much longer!

owengem

I laugh at myself and call myself fat. On the boards I try to refrain from that word BECAUSE I don't want to offend anyone that may be bigger than me. I know how it is to have someone smaller than me say they are fat and quite frankly it pisses me off lol. So, I choose not to for personal reasons.

Completely agree. Tho I have to admit to describing myself as a big fat fatty to family and friends :-)

NYIceQueen

Fat kind of lost it's meaning when I used to be called fat at a size 4 :laugh:

So I think I'll always be fat, just to varying degrees. Right now I'm in the "so fat you need a "wide load" sign on your butt" group.

MamaReebs

I agree also, that fat is what is on my body, it is not what I am made of. Therefore I am not fat, I just have fat.

sillygoose1977

I'm not fat, I'm very muscular with a layer of squish.

hippiechel

i know i am not obese or overweight but i still think that i am fat. like someone has mentioned earlier, i don't mention that i think i am fat on the boards here in fear of offending other people.

honestly, if you can recognize you are obese/overweight and/or fat, i think it's a good first step to want to make changes. i read on Time that they did a study on overweight individuals, and they found out that they often thought themselves as thinner/smaller than they actually are. i just think it's good to be honest to yourself. some people might view the word "fat" as un-PC or negative. to me, it's just a good motivation to stop being fat.

that's just my opinion though, i am usually really straight forward around my friends (i try to be more tactful around people i don't know), i really don't see a point in sugarcoating things. sure, someone could say that they are just a tad chubby, but everyone else might look at this person and think this person is fat anyway.

BUT ultimately, as long the individual is HAPPY and HEALTHY, i don't think the choice of words that they use to describe themselves matter.. i hope not anyway!

Sepa

I dont like using the word "fat" on here becuse it can offend someone who weighs more than I do. People look at weight and dont consider the hight or where weight is being carried. I know people who weigh more than i do but carry it differently, this will be the case for everyone. So to use fat on a site where most people dont know the actual person they are helping to use weight could effectivly make someone feel worse, or fatter than what they are!

AeshaKSha

I THINK I'M STILL FAT. I HAVE ABOUT 12 OR LESS POUNDS TO LOSE.
F. A. T. FATAL - AWFUL - TERRIBLE

BillyC96

I'm fat. I've even called myself a fat tub of goo. I used it to push myself into action. I think it's funny that my doctor struggled to call me obese. I said it for him. It improved our relationship!:laugh: Since I started losing the weight I have seen my GP and an ENT consultant, and I am their favourite patient. I wasn't offended by what they were telling me, and I took steps to change my situation. So many people don't, and I'm sure that frustrates the stuffing out of them.

carl1738

I just prefer to think of myself as "Bootyliscious"!

foreverjade

I call myself "fat" so often that it has lost its meaning.

"Fat" is all relative and state of mind. Before I lost any weight, I called myself fat, and didn't really think that I was. After joining this site and seeing all the rockstars on here, I say I'm fat and actually believe it!

nurse_chris

I think the people that make excuses or cute descriptions are just not ready to admit that they might have a problem. This is fine, because it truly is up an individual to decide when they are ready to make a change.

I get in crap from my friends when i call myself fat, but like an earlier poster mentioned, when i say im fat, i think im more or less referring to that i have fat (lots of it) and admitting it is the first stage (or something along some crappy cliche).

PS: I played football with a nose tackle who came in 60 pounds over weight to camp..... his excuse when he couldnt finish time trials was that he "was too short for his weight!!!"

ErinBeth7

I think a lot of people are afraid to use it because it has such a negative connotation and is typically associated with insults. I remember hearing in high school a kid in my class saying to another "Erin is fat." And you could hear the disgust and negativity in his voice.

That comment doesn't bother me now, I was just using it as an example. So, a lot people will avoid saying fat because it comes across as an insult and brings up feelings of hurt or taunting, much like if someone had said that to their face.

Melisha82

I personally just don't like the word fat. It sounds cruel to me and I am sure that is mostly because that is what people use when they say demeaning things about you. I think overweight, heavy, obese, those all sound a little nicer to me.

Val_from_OH

I think "fat" is like some other words in our culture... you can only use it if it applies to you! Anyway, I think it is an ugly word and it makes me feel terrible, which I do not deserve. I usually refer to myself as "lumpy" :ohwell: As in... does this form-fitting sweater look cute, or does it make me look too lumpy?

Dmonique85

I think that I agree with my Mrs. Wilson. I am definitely overweight. I have a lot more fat on my body than I should, but I do think that calling someone fat does have a negative connotation...and more than just recognizing that someone is extra large. I am a lot more realistic now than I was in the past, I know that I am considered to be fat...but I think that calling yourself fat is akin to calling yourself stupid. Even if it's true, it doesn't help unless it motivates you to change.

A lot of people are saying not calling yourself fat or admitting it means you are in denial. I think I have seen just as many people do the opposite just settle in to the fact that they are overweight & accept that that's the way it is. I have never been able to change by hating myself...I do it for love. I love me & I want my life to be better. I hate the excess fat on my body, & I am trying to get rid of it, if I say I am fat then I am trying to get rid of me??? I am beautiful, as a matter of fact I am freaking sexy as heck, and I have even more beauty to reveal. I know I have a problem with food & laziness but degrading myself will never make me better. I am happy for the people who "fat" motivates, it's just not for me.

callipygianchronicle

i see no benefit in calling myself fat. Fat is not who I am. I am Yolanda. I am a creative. I am mother A wife of 13 years. I am a writer. I am an intellectual. I am an introvert. Those things define me, and will continue to define me regardless of how my body looks. If being fat is part of my identity, what would happen to that identity when I lose weight?

My body carries extra weight, but my weight is not my identity. It doesn’t make me a better person. It doesn’t make me a worse person. It simply is. I have a large body with excess fatty tissue because I have made choices that made it easier for fat to collect. I am now making different choices and that fatty tissue is decreasing. Nothing more. Nothing less. My body has fat, but *I* am not fat.

Thomasm198

I never ever called myself fat (even when I was at my heaviest about 18 years ago....I was 280 pounds, which was about 100 pounds overweight).

The reason I've never called myself fat is because I was called that by enough school bullies when I was young.

anubis609

I used to say, "I was built for football." I knew I had fat. I also didn't care. Now that I've lost weight, I still have moments where I may feel fat. And I still don't care. I do what I do because I can. Whether that's packin' on pounds, gettin' myself in trouble, or losing weight, eating cleaner, and being healthy. I do me. All day, everyday.

manymuses

i see no benefit in calling myself fat. Fat is not who I am. I am Yolanda. I am a creative. I am mother A wife of 13 years. I am a writer. I am an intellectual. I am an introvert. Those things define me, and will continue to define me regardless of how my body looks. If being fat is part of my identity, what would happen to that identity when I lose weight?

My body carries extra weight, but my weight is not my identity. It doesn’t make me a better person. It doesn’t make me a worse person. It simply is. I have a large body with excess fatty tissue because I have made choices that made it easier for fat to collect. I am now making different choices and that fatty tissue is decreasing. Nothing more. Nothing less. My body has fat, but *I* am not fat.

Amen, Yolanda!
I, too am an artist, and though my choices have added extra fat to my frame, I do not identify with the word as a descriptor about my self. I think my creativity has always been the safety harness for my self esteem. People who berate themselves with a steady stream of negative self talk and self deprecation can do a lot of damage to their confidence and self worth. I sometimes think we "fat" people put ourselves down before other people beat us to the punch.

SweetPandora

I agree the word fat has a negativity attached to it.

I used to call myself fat all the time, now I prefer to say I'm out of shape or not as lean as I would like to be.

My boyfriend brought it to my attention that it was not a turn on hearing me talk negatively about myself. That changed my mindset.

I realized that I don't like hearing young or already thin girls/women whining that they are fat when in fact they are not.

Karen

meagalayne

The only people I see on MFP using the word "fat" are doing so in a self-loathing, destructive and negative way. It's just not conducive to a positive and encouraging space where people of all sizes feel comfortable to explore health and fitness. In my experience, the posts where people are declaring themselves "fat" tend to have an overall tone of self-punishment - as if they are worthy of nothing more than public embarrassment.

Overweight, heavy, or out of shape seems both less self-loathing and more accurate - you are, in fact, above a healthy weight for your height and build, for instance. It also seems like a good indicator that someone is eager to make a change - ie: to be less overweight. Just my take on it.

jimmydeanbakker

Fat has a negative connotation with it. Many times when people say the word fat it's often followed by the word lazy. Even though a lot of people may consider themselves fat, they are not necessarily lazy. It's just my opinion.

Dencrossgirl

I have no trouble saying I'm fat, just glad I am no longer obese, that is a nasty word.

UmbraForzare

I'm not fat, I'm very muscular with a layer of squish.

:laugh: :laugh:
Love that. My husband said he prefers the term "drought and famine resistant".

I personally don't say "fat", I just don't like the word because for me it carries very negative connotations - I was bullied from a young age about my weight and "fat" was one of the terms used.
It put me in a pretty bad mindset about weight and food in general so using the word now still carries tinges of that negativity I felt as a child.

I don't really use anything to describe myself; unless I'm asked outright, then I just say "I have a few pounds to lose".

shanhawk

I try not to say fat because FAT is not Who I am Its not What I am...Fat is what I have allowed to accumilate on my body/cell and causes me damage, but It can be removed....and once removed I AM.

Love it!! But personally I have no issue calling myselft "FAT". After all I AM...but I work everyday to get rid of it!!

vitosbud

I have a great deal of respect for people who can take a word that has been used to devalue and belittle them and make it their own, thereby robbing the taunter of the power. I"m thinking of the "n" word, or queer. These horrible words have been taken up by black and gay people with a feeling of, "I OWN THIS... you can't hurt me with this anymore". I applaud that and wish I felt the same way about the word "fat". That word was hurled at me and used to make me "less than". I see many of us on this site attempting to do the very opposite of "owning" that word. I, myself am running away as hard and fast as I can. (and tracking the exercise!). I'm afraid the power of this word has 110 lb girls here trying to weigh 95 lbs. Well... may be if you're 4'10"... but I'm not sure. It's a tough word and in my head agree with all the fabulous people who have posted very empowering things. I wish I was there with them but my heart still breaks a little when I hear it.