How do you deal with compliments?

emmaleigh47

Just had this happen the other day ... someone said OMG you have lost a ton of weight since I last saw you.
The funny thing, I had actually gained 2 pounds... but Ive toned up, slimmed down size wise and she was genuinely trying to give me a compliment.

I resisted the urge to tell her the truth ... and instead said ... wow thanks for noticing!

LaurieEReid

over 30 Lbs lost now (20 prior to joining mfp) and i have yet to hear a single compliment offered unless i myself asked someone 'so.. notice any difference?'
Granted my immediate circle of friends/family see me regularly so perhaps they have indeed noticed nothing..idk.

(and yes, there is a noticeable difference)

So.. if i ever get any, will let you know... but in general? *L* i would be thrilled and proud to hear one, though at the same time feel a lil awkward too (judging on my reaction to compliments in other areas of my life)

same here,, i got to 35 lbs before anyone said anything,,, really pissed me off for a while... but at the point now where it doesnt matter. i feel awesome and i'm doing things i never thought i would..

LOL! I lost 15 pounds and no one said anything. Then I got sick and lost another 5 and everyone things it's because of the illness. I worked really hard on this.

BTW when people ask "How?" and I say, "I ate less and exercised more," they're disappointed. People want a magic pill.

emmaleigh47

it was really hard at first... but now I just say thank you, I am trying.

the follow up is How much have you lost

50lbs..

How did you do it?

Working out 4-5 days a week and watching what I eat...

Oh....

:laugh:

LOL no one wants to hear how I did it either. Lots and lots of hours running... they always think there is some magic pill, formula, or workout...

hroush

I usually also say, "working on it."

NikkisNewStart

it was really hard at first... but now I just say thank you, I am trying.

the follow up is How much have you lost

50lbs..

How did you do it?

Working out 4-5 days a week and watching what I eat...

Oh....

:laugh:

Haha! Exactly! I always just say thank you so much, I've lost weight but most importantly I've become healthier and have more energy.

Some have shown obvious disappointment when I tell them how I did it... old fashioned healthy eating and exercise... who knew?!?

laughingdani

A lot of people are commenting on my weight loss lately.
like: 'Wow! You look good, you lost some weight'
or 'I haven't been at the gym in a while and I haven't seen you but wow! you look terrific!'

So, my question to you is, what do you reply?
I know I should take the compliment. I should at least say 'Thank you!'
I try. But I get uncomfortable and I don't know what to say!
I always reply 'Yes, but I don't see the results on the scale!'

I hardly see any results on the scale but I know I'm building muscle and getting leaner.
I just dont' know what to answer those people.

I used to always say "thanks...I don't see it" or "thanks....I still have a long way to go"
But I stopped saying that. I heard from a friend a while back that if you say something like that in response to a compliment you are basically cancelling it out. You are taking the joy away from the person giving you the compliment.

So now I say "thanks" even if I don't believe it. Sometimes I will even say "thanks, I have come a long way."

The more you accept the compliments the more you will start to believe them yourself.

MassiveDelta

it was really hard at first... but now I just say thank you, I am trying.

the follow up is How much have you lost

50lbs..

How did you do it?

Working out 4-5 days a week and watching what I eat...

Oh....

:laugh:

I have started asking people if they really want to know. Cause I get the same thing. "Whats the secret?" "Do you really want to know?

Soooze

Yes! I've said that too 'Thanks! I still have a lot of work ahead of me' or 'yes, now if I could just stop that evening snack'!!!

But after reading all these wonderful replies, next time I'll answer:
'Thanks, I appreciate the compliment'!

It does feel good to hear it from a stranger or coworkers! It's nice that they go out of their way to give compliments!
(I do it too sometimes when I notice a woman at the gym who works hard and toned up!)

I do want to take the compliment.. I just feel like I have to say something back and usually it would negate the compliment.
Not good. I need to work on this!

PhatmanVA

Words to the effect of: "Thanks so much for noticing and taking the time to mention it. Your encouragement is greatly appreciated."

suzieqdiva

I too have a hard time with compliments, and as someone mentioned here... they are really heartfelt & genuine.. so somewhere in there we need to start feeling worthy of our achievements as well. A sense of love & respect for self, a sense of acknowledgment to ourselves for work done well. I think everything we are making better choices with food, exercise & water intake we are loving ourselves more. Every time we are setting goals to achieve, we are loving ourselves more.. and so the tender love for self for accepting compliments is something I am starting to nurture... caz I am also working on my building a healthy self esteem that got corroded as I let myself go:-)

RedneckWmn

I always say "thanks. I'm a work in progress" or something I just don't even know what to say depending what the compliment is. When the guy I'm dating tries to compliment me I just laugh and shrug it off when I shouldn't.

CakeFit21

I get really shy. I don't know why this is. I am not a shy person. A lot of times what I get isn't really even a compliment, one friend said, "Oh, my gosh! You're smaller than the last time I saw you!" Um, thanks?

So, I get shy and I look down and I say, "Thank you. It's been A LOT of hard work and I've never felt better."

DowntimeDesigns

The best compliment I ever received was walking past a group of my friends and them not recognizing me. Gave me a bigger secret smile then if they would have said anything in the world.

LOL no one wants to hear how I did it either. Lots and lots of hours running... they always think there is some magic pill, formula, or workout...

Thats exactly how I feel!!! Everyone assumes that it just sort of happens... not without a lot of hard work!

The follow-up question is always difficult when they ask 'how much'. To me its the same as the number of dollars I have in my bank account, none of their business. I'm doing this for ME!

valerie58

I thank them and I say most importain things is that I feel so much better

RedneckWmn

LOL no one wants to hear how I did it either. Lots and lots of hours running... they always think there is some magic pill, formula, or workout...

Thats exactly how I feel!!! Everyone assumes that it just sort of happens... not without a lot of hard work!

Yes! They get upset when you tell them hard work. They are hoping you are going to tell them some magical pill or that you just woke up one day and had lost everything. My favorite was when someone asked my sister and she said she works her ever loving butt off every single day because THAT'S how bad she wants it.

FaithandFitness

While it is hard that our results don't always show up on the scale, I am always thankful that we don't walk around with our weight posted on our foreheads (or behinds, whichever is larger) . . . so when my body is changing and my scale isn't, and I receive a compliment, I am thankful that someone is seeing a difference.

improvstitute

This may sound strange, but in the past compliments have been the catalyst for my diet demise. I think it has to do with me realizing that others are aware of my weight (and have been). I become very self conscious and start to feel the shame of getting so fat and that other people have taken notice. That sends me into that downward spiral of eating to feed my emotions. For that reason, I rarely comment on someone's weight loss. I know when others are complimenting me that they mean well and it makes them feel good to "notice my effort", but it really has the opposite effect for me.

I started getting compliments this week. I have had several people notice that I have lost some weight and I could hear those evil little voices telling me to eat. I was very glad to see this thread when I did because talking about is helping me to just keep on moving toward my goal.

Keep up the good work everyone!!! And thanks to my MFP friends for the awesome support!!!

riley711

I usually say thanks, I've been working on it. If I know they are really sincere, I give a big smile :happy: with that "thank you". Makes them feel good and makes me feel good too!! Sometimes they might even get a :blushing: with that "thank you."

megan_mp

This may sound strange, but in the past compliments have been the catalyst for my diet demise. I think it has to do with me realizing that others are aware of my weight (and have been). I become very self conscious and start to feel the shame of getting so fat and that other people have taken notice. That sends me into that downward spiral of eating to feed my emotions. For that reason, I rarely comment on someone's weight loss. I know when others are complimenting me that they mean well and it makes them feel good to "notice my effort", but it really has the opposite effect for me.

I started getting compliments this week. I have had several people notice that I have lost some weight and I could hear those evil little voices telling me to eat. I was very glad to see this thread when I did because talking about is helping me to just keep on moving toward my goal.

Keep up the good work everyone!!! And thanks to my MFP friends for the awesome support!!!

I can relate to what you're saying...that others have been aware of my weight - for them to notice it's different is kind of shameful. While it doesn't send me into a binge, it's a little embarrassing.

I do agree though, it takes courage from other people to acknowledge your loss. They may have noticed earlier but not said anything, just in case. It's like when someone is pregnant - you don't ask if they're pregnant until they're obviously pregnant!

I've recently started to get compliments and it gets me all flustered when people point it out. I usually just automatically reply with a 'Thank you!', but think of all kinds of things I should've said after they're gone!

labgirl3

over 30 Lbs lost now (20 prior to joining mfp) and i have yet to hear a single compliment offered unless i myself asked someone 'so.. notice any difference?'
Granted my immediate circle of friends/family see me regularly so perhaps they have indeed noticed nothing..idk.

(and yes, there is a noticeable difference)

So.. if i ever get any, will let you know... but in general? *L* i would be thrilled and proud to hear one, though at the same time feel a lil awkward too (judging on my reaction to compliments in other areas of my life)

It took at least 40 lbs for people to notice on me. I mean, my friends at the gym noticed before that, but they knew I was trying to lose weight. But "regular" people who didn't already know I was trying to lose weight never said anything until I was about 40 lbs. down - even coworkers and family members that I see on a monthly basis never said a word. I think even though it might be obvious to us, people are somewhat reluctant to comment on another person's weight unless it's crystal clear they're really losing. Now, I get comments almost daily. And I smile and say "Thanks - I'm trying!" And I always tell people I'm doing it by exercising and eating right.