I need a womans advice/suggestions...

311Phil

Ok, so Im probably going to sound REALLY selfish right here but here goes...

So, I've been into a band called 311 since I was 14 years old. I've seen them about 20 times, people say that I'm obsessed with them...Which is fine with me, lol...

anyways, they announced a 4 day camping and music fesitval in august in northern florida, and I REALLY want to go. I talked with my wife about it last night, and she sounded interested, but there is also a SLIGHT possibility that she may be pregnant. She hasn't missed a period or anything, but we recently started trying to have a baby (as in just a few weeks ago started trying)

She is concerned about buying tickets to the show (they go on sale next week) and if she winds up pregnant, she said she wouldn't be able to go on the trip...She would be around 6 months pregnant at the time of the trip...

She said she will most likely be throwing up all the time and not want to be at a camping and music festival....

What are the ladies thoughts and advice here? Would she be ok to go? I know every pregnancy is different, but i did a couple google searches on the issue (yeah...i did, lol) and per those posts, they were all fine. I mean we would have an air mattress and a big tent, but there would also be a very long drive to florida involved....Im thinking in my head that i sound extremely selfish, but i can't say no to this opportunity to see my favorite band at their own music festival, where they are playing 4 sets of music and one album all the way through with several songs that have NEVER been played live before....

HELP!

angdrusso

Hi - if she will be 6 months pregnant - she would be fine to go, I would have thought. Sickness for most women only lasts maybe for the first 3 months or so. Maybe buy the tickets and if she really doesn't feel like going nearer the time - you could possibly ask one of your friends to go along with you, and treat her to something she feels like doing at the time. Like a Spa retreat or similar

roma2011

I don't see the problem. Every pregnancy is different, but life doesn't stop with babies and pregnancy. Ruling out doing stuff because of a pregnancy that doesn't exist yet is a bit extreme. If worst comes to worst, your tickets go to waste, or they are used by a friend, or you go to the festival with someone other than your wife. No biggie!

luv2ash

I think it is neat that you are concerned for her... I would not suggest your wife go during any time of her pregnancy, unless she absolutely loved camping in a tent before her pregnancy. If she loved to camp a lot before her pregnancy, then at 6 months pregnant, there should be nothing holding her back. Throwing up usually occurs in the beginning of the pregnancy, although for some women they never have throw up and for some they throw up during the whole pregnancy.

With that being said, I do feel as a happilary married wife for 22 years, who has given birth twice, that it is important for you to be be happy as well. In a relationship, we give and take. I think you should go, with the understanding that you do something nice for her as well. Maybe she wants a pedicure or manicure or a day out with the girls, or just a weekend with you in a hotel not too far away, whatever it may be.....you will need to reciprocate.

Hope that helps.

sandram82

Well your right ever pregnancy is different... I was sick for 8months of my preg, but some people are only sick in the first 3 months. For me at 6months I had the most energy and was feeling great.. By than I think I was use to the morning sickness!
I say you should both plan to go... but if she can't by than she should understand this is your dream and you should still be able to go without her.. I mean.. she might not even be pregnant by than, some people try and it could take some time... maybe u can get her pregnant there!! LOL... theres a story to tell your kids..Good Luck! Hope you get to enjoy the concert!

Phoenyxlove

I would have gone a 6 months! If she will be one to get morning sickness it usually doesn't last past 16 weeks. Plus the most comfortable trimester is the second. If she wants to go I would say go for it. But remember it may take a couple of months to conceive therefore she may fall in the first trimester phase so it's still a gamble weather or not shemay be pregnant this month.

Healthyby30

Some women never even get morning sickness. I was one of the lucky ones that never did! However, I've never heard of anyone having morning sickness past 3 months or so. As long as she has a healthy, normal pregnancy she should be just fine to go.

311Phil

Thank you ladies, your thoughts back up mine. I think its a bit early to rule out the trip, because at this point we don't even know if she is pregnant yet. I just really hate dissappointing my wife with my "obsession" lol...

I mean, i've travelled to countless states to see these guys. Its like they re-charge the batteries in my soul....if that makes any sense, lol.

She LOVES camping, we go all the time, she is also a big fan of the music.

we are going to have to have a serious sit down and talk....when i brought it up she instantly went into her "worried" state. She over-reacts and over-thinks pretty much anything we do. I have to convince her to just trust me and it always turns out to be an amazing time....

lol, this could get interesting.

helthymom6

As a woman who has been through 5 pregnancies and births I would suggest following through with how your wife wants to do things. Yes every pregnancy is different and while all the google serches may say she would be fine they are not the ones carring your child. If your wife thinks that is something she doesn't want to do while pregnant than no matter what anyone says she won't enjoy herself. You really have to decide which is more important to you , your wife and child or your band. i don't mean to sound harsh but that is the reality of it. it puts a lot of strain on most womans bodies to grow and carry a child, you want her to be a comfortable as possible. You might make a compromise with her if she is willing. If this band is popular enough, maybe you could go ahead and buy the tickets and then if she is pregnant sell them on ebay or craigslist or something like that. Anyway just my thoughts. Hope it all works out for you.

SunLovin1

How thoughtful of you to ask! Six months is still fine for travel & she should be over any morning sickness by then. BTW, I never had morning sickness, not everyone gets it. Now, heartburn, lol! I shoulda bought stock in Tums!

mmcgille

Hi - if she will be 6 months pregnant - she would be fine to go, I would have thought. Sickness for most women only lasts maybe for the first 3 months or so. Maybe buy the tickets and if she really doesn't feel like going nearer the time - you could possibly ask one of your friends to go along with you, and treat her to something she feels like doing at the time. Like a Spa retreat or similar

Totally agree! She'll feel the best in the pregnancy between 4-6 months, so there shouldn't be any reason why she couldn't go. LIke the above poster said, if she doesn't feel like it at the time, go with a friend. She'd probably enjoy a little pampering and time for herself, too!

mixmastermolly

I felt great at 6 months! It was the first 12 weeks and the last month or month and a half that were hard. She'd probably be fine. But if not, is there someone who can go in her place? You could always buy two tickets then maybe a brother or friend could go if she wasn't up for it?

TerraGirl17

Hi!! I think she will be fine, I was 8 months pregnant with our 2nd and we went on a 3 day camping trip. Just make sure she will be as comfortable as possible which means you help A LOT!! LOL cooking, cleaning up and let her rest when she needs to

muth3rluvx2

Ooh oooh me me me!!!

lol..

Okay, so if you WERE a selfish guy, I'd tell you that you suck for not wanting to be with your wife, picking a stupid band over your wife and child, and what an *kitten* you are for even THINKING about abandoning her during such an important time in both your lives.

BUT....

You aren't a selfish guy. Know how I know? Because you researched. Because you're asking. Because you care - and it's obvious otherwise this wouldn't even be a question in your mind - you'd just buy the damn tickets and go with or without her.

So, I say that your wife knows what kind of considerate, loving, caring husband you are and will support you going even if she doesn't feel up to it. She might be lonely and hate that you're gone, but she won't be mad at you for it. And, there may be compromises that have to be made when the time actually comes for you to go if she is pregnant (which btw, she probably isn't... you're very lucky if it happened that fast, to be honest... but from what I hear, music festivals are a great place to make that special magic happen!). And if she's not, you'd kick yourself all over the place if you dno't get the tickets and plan the trip and she'll feel pretty rotten too. And we all know how fast festival tickets sell out.

Therefore, I say because of your obvious nature as a person - it is not selfish. You're also clearly willing to sacrifice this trip for her, with no resentment (note that I don't say no regret!) ... doesn't mean you'd like it, but you'd do it. Get the tickets - plan your trip, everything will work out. :-)

Have fun - BOTH of you... and congratulations on the future Junior(ette). ;-)

311Phil

definitely, I do most of the cooking and set up tear down etc.

We could also get a hotel room near the festival, but i think staying there may be a better option, not sure on this one....lot of looking into things.

overit

I agree with a lot of the other posters, most morning sickness ends by 6 months. If this is your first child you are trying to conceive, I say go because (from experience) it may be a very long time before you can do something like this again. It can be a fun trip before the baby comes. On a negative note, I lived in Florida when I was pregnant and in the summer I was absolutely miserable and I had air conditioning and a swimming pool.

311Phil

I agree with a lot of the other posters, most morning sickness ends by 6 months. If this is your first child you are trying to conceive, I say go because (from experience) it may be a very long time before you can do something like this again. It can be a fun trip before the baby comes. On a negative note, I lived in Florida when I was pregnant and in the summer I was absolutely miserable and I had air conditioning and a swimming pool.

yeah that is my other concearn will be the heat, i mean we live in buffalo ny and we have hot and humid summers, but its going to be worse down there for sure. We do have the option of getting a hotel room, but that is going to be a lot of extra money...

deartracks

Haha... holy cow! I must be the only woman on here that would NEVER have camped when I was pregnant! I was uncomfortable the WHOLE time. If I wasn't puking, I could barely walk because of sciatica, or I was hugely swollen because of pre eclampsia! But I was a miserable pregnant woman! Your wife would probably do much better than me!
Hope you get the blessing of a little one soon! Even with all my pregnancy issues, I did it 3 times, and love every second of being a parent! Best thing everrrr! ♥

311Phil

thanks! I too am excited about it, yet a part of me "doesn't want to grow up" lol.

OneLostSock

How considerate of you to look into it and get opinions etc.

It's hard to plan in advance but until you get there, you wont know for sure. As most people have said, at 6 months she will probably feel fine and the fresh air will def be good for you both!

However, i gave birth at 29 weeks having had what seemed like a normal pregnancy, so things can and do go wrong so maybe plan for it but have contingencies in place.

Good luck!! x

Edited to add that it was over 14 years ago and she's now a strong healthy moody teen despite being so early and weighing under 2lbs. :laugh:

311Phil

i think our best course of action is to buy the tickets and see how everything goes. again no gaurantee she is even pregnant right now, she just thinks she might be because her sister got pregnant on the first try....


we can always ebay the tickets if we can't go!

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kimber607

Have her stay home and make you a bunch of sandwiches for the trip.

great minds think alike..LOL
seriosuly though, plan the trip..you have NO idea when she will get pg..if she is 6 mnth, it will be fine
2 kiddies here and NO m/s..was fine and comfy until about 8 mnths

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kayemme

you've seen them 20x.

RoadDog

My wife was 8 1/2 months pregnant with Holland, when we went to see Sammy Hagar. No problem. It even helped to sneak a Fifth of JD in. Taped to the underside of her big belly. Don't worry....It was for me.

311Phil

you've seen them 20x.

and I'd gladly see them 20 more! They are amazing. My wife likes them too, the amount of times i've seen them is not the issue, lol.

TheNewJessieMae

I Went to see Kid Rock for the 3rd time when I was 9 Months preggers. Doc said it was fine. I've seen him 8 times now!!

If she's interested she should at least get the ticket. If she's not well enough to go when the time comes around I'm sure you can find someone to buy her ticket.

311Phil

I Went to see Kid Rock for the 3rd time when I was 9 Months preggers. Doc said it was fine. I've seen him 8 times now!!

If she's interested she should at least get the ticket. If she's not well enough to go when the time comes around I'm sure you can find someone to buy her ticket.

Yeah, Im going to bring up this idea tonight. I can't not plan this trip when we don't even know if she is pregnant. IF she winds up pregnant, and doesn't want to go, Im sure i can find someone to take the tickets. Ideally I'd still like to go, but if not, thats the sacrifice i'll have to make at that time....not now.

nvonschummer

Well, I have a friend that was at least that prego and she drove us to a reggae show and her little man is now an amazing drummer... so... As long as you try to make her comfie along the trip - spoil her and tell people how awesome/dead sexy she is and don't' get too **** canned - you can prove to her that you all can enjoy music semi-responsibly and still live life. IMO, I wouldn't deprive your (future) children of music, just because you think you have to act a certain way. The people that have the worst kids are usually in the overly "normal" family... I say if she's up to it - make it work! It will be a wonderful experience for you both to go through, as long as your committed to making it work like a team. If she's not, I'm sure you can sell the ticket day of show or go with a friend.

Mrs_McFadden

I went camping with my family that included my two other children 10 year old son and three year old daughter, when I was pregnant with the baby that I'm holding sleeping in my arms right now (he's seven months). I was around six months pregnant.
As long as she's not the melodramatic "I'm a Faberge egg because I am pregnant" type of woman you should be chill.
And trust me, it is like Bridezillas. Some women go all freaking drama queen from hell when they're pregnant and think the world revolves around them.
I used to belong to forums with pregnant people...*shudders remembering*...