why delete friends when they added you for support

tiffvea

It really ticks me off when I add friends for support, and when they don't think I'm doing enough, or working hard enough, they delete me as a friend....HELLO....that's why I add friends...for support and to keep me on track!

ajbeans

Maybe there are other reasons for deleting you. I know I will delete people if I don't feel they're giving back the support I give them, or if I find that I can't support them the way I should because I don't understand their goals, or if we don't have as much in common as we thought we did, or if I feel they're negative. I don't know you, so I don't know if any of those reasons apply to you, but it might not be because they think you're not "doing enough." Or it might even be just that they have too many people on their friend list, so they go through and delete some.

Don't take it personally or let it get you down. Just keep on trucking.

aflukey

I feel the same way I have only been using this program for a little over a month now and i have tried to add people and they add me for a day then delete me so i have given up on having any friends as support on here since no one keeps me as a friend

wendehaynie

definitely don't take it personally...it probably wasn't meant to be personal. unless it was one of your friends that you know outside of cyberspace...just keep moving forward with your hard work.

Celo24

Agree with ajbeans. Don't take it personally. We all "click" with some people and not others for a multitude of reasons. Just find people who mesh better with you and you'll both be better off for it!!

LongMom

There is a limit on friends you can have - I think it's 250. Sometimes people have to cut out some of their friends to make room for new ones.

LizzetteRamirez

Hey, forget about them and get new friends. Dont let that bother you!:flowerforyou:

wendehaynie

i'm sorry that happens to you. just keep looking for the right kind of support.

kaits108

Eh I wouldn't take it personally. I delete when people haven't logged for awhile, or if they're super negative all the time. I'm on here to be motivated & enjoy positive people who are into a healthy lifestyle. There's so many people on this website, I'm sure you'll find other people who will help motivate you & support you, I wouldn't dwell on the people who just didn't click.

00trayn

At least for me, the 250 limit on friends has a huge impact on people that I delete out. It's a necessity in order to support people who want to friend me. I won't clean out people who are actively participating, but if you haven't logged on much and don't chat or anything, I tend to delete that person. It's just a matter of supporting people who are active and making room by deleting people who aren't. It's nothing personal.

Mairgheal

Don't take it all too seriously now, it's definitely norhing personal - it's great to have some support here but your real friends are the ones that you actually know IRL, remember.

randi50

I wouldn't worry about it or take it personally. Everyone on my friend list are people I knew before comeing to MFP. I did add one person who requested me and she never said anything on my status etc so I didn't see the point in a one-way support system.

hpsnickers1

My guess is the 250 friend limit. And if you don't log in for so long you can get deleted. Unfortunately this time of year you get a lot of new people who have New Year's Resolutions to lose weight or get fit so they join. Then they disappear.

I had to delete two co-workers, one because she had to quit MFP for now and the other one just set up an account and never did anything with it. My other co-worker is on here, loves that I recommended it to her because it got her re-motivated which she says she needed. She's looking great now!

I wouldn't worry about those people. You don't know them and it won't make a difference if you never hear from them again. There are plenty of supporters on this site.

superstarcassie

Sometimes people don't vibe with you or your personality. I sometimes delete if there is a lot of whining or negativity going on...its nothing personal- just keeping myself positive and motivated. Also, if they haven't logged in for weeks....I clear out my list too. Keep working hard and find a new set of friends that can help motivate or support you. Also- find that motivation from inside and you will see amazing results!!

cheangela

You can meet 100's of people on here and it's hard to weed out the people you have enough in common with to actually benefit from the interaction. Please don't take it personally if people remove you, they just don't feel a connection with you.

I deleted a dude yesterday just because he was kind of dumb. He didn't want to listen and he just wanted to dish out "advice" that really made no sense. It's nothing against him, I just don't have the patience for certain types of people.

Fat2FitChick

I have removed a few biddies on here but only when they stop working, like they haven't signed in for more than a week or so. Of if their language is aweful and offensive but other than that I stick with whoever I add.

jojospaghettio

I've felt the same way before. Not that it is right, but it sure is hard not to take it personal when you are already frustrated with your size and health. So I completely understand. You are welcome to add me, if you would like. I'm not perfect, but I try to lend support when I can.

godblessourhome

At least for me, the 250 limit on friends has a huge impact on people that I delete out. It's a necessity in order to support people who want to friend me. I won't clean out people who are actively participating, but if you haven't logged on much and don't chat or anything, I tend to delete that person. It's just a matter of supporting people who are active and making room by deleting people who aren't. It's nothing personal.

same here.

JoyousRen

I delete people because they haven't been on in a while, don't post, don't log, etc. It's not that I don't think they are doing enough. It's more that people come and go on a website like this without always deleting their account. I dispise clutter in my life and that includes in my friends list. It may seem cold but if I'm going through my friends list and see that someone hasn't done anything in two weeks, I don't see the point in keeping them on my list. It's hard to support someone that doesn't even log on.

proverbs31chick

It really ticks me off when I add friends for support, and when they don't think I'm doing enough, or working hard enough, they delete me as a friend....HELLO....that's why I add friends...for support and to keep me on track!

I agree with you, I have seen some people's info about them and they say if your diary is not public, if your not working out or doing this that or the other I will delete you. I am like wow, first of all it is impossible to look at all my friends diary's and keep track of them. This is a support site, if you feel someone is slacking then you can offer a word of advise, no one is perfect and we are all at different stages. Well feel free to add me.

PeachyKeene

Sometimes people get jealous of the progress your making. So they delete you, so they don't have to face that they are just not doing as good as they should.

proverbs31chick

Eh I wouldn't take it personally. I delete when people haven't logged for awhile, or if they're super negative all the time. I'm on here to be motivated & enjoy positive people who are into a healthy lifestyle. There's so many people on this website, I'm sure you'll find other people who will help motivate you & support you, I wouldn't dwell on the people who just didn't click.

Interesting, how in the world do know which of your friends have or have not logged in. I am busy keeping track of myself, I don't check my "friends" to see what they have been doing.

catcrazy

I've just got rid of a few...I just looked back and realised there were a handful that were slipping on and off the wagon, hadn't commented on my status' for at least a month.


I comment on every single one of my MFP pals at least 3-4 times a week, I comment on there weight losses, commiserate on gains, offer support if theyre having a bad time and if they fall off the wagon and ask for help I offer my take on it. I'd like the same support back but if they can't be bothered commenting occasionally why should I bother going 12 hours back down the feed each morning looking for posts i've missed.

If theyre deleting you within a few days then chances are theyre searching for people with specific goals/ideals etc and do not let it worry you.

catcrazy

Interesting, how in the world do know which of your friends have or have not logged in. I am busy keeping track of myself, I don't check my "friends" to see what they have been doing.

it comes up on your wall when someone has not logged in

heathersmilez

I'll add and accept people I have a common interests in or attributes whether it be age, body size, education or hobbies.

After a time you learn more about the person through their status' and comments in the community you realize you no longer want this type of person as "support".

I.e. I recently deleted a person b/c she is on 10 anti-depression meds. It's not personal despite what you may think but I don't need weight-loss "support" from someone who has such heavy medical issues. There isn't an ounce of me that can relate, it’s not that I don’t sympathize I just don’t need to see the intense emotional rollercoaster daily on my news feed. This is an online community, if a real-life friend or co-worker had these same issues I’d be by their side.

ickybella

I too am at the 250-friend limit. If someone either hasn't logged in for a couple of weeks, or hasn't logged in for three days and this happens once a week, I delete the person. I also delete people who have no activity at all. I don't understand adding people as friends if you are not going to complete your diary, exercise, or at least cheer them on. I figure there is a waiting list of 18 people who are willing to support me and who are trying hard and deserve my support, so I delete the inactive ones. Also, if I add someone from the waiting list, because I've just deleted someone else who never logs in, and that person already hasn't logged in for a few days, I go ahead and delete them right then. I know it's harsh, but that's how I do it.

Trjlove

Well I think that shows what kind of friend they really are. Don't sweet it!!! They were probably not healthy for you long term. :happy:

goron59

I delete people that have nothing in their profile, no picture, no activity or are trying to promote or sell something. I think this place is all about give and take.

Also, I've deleted a couple of people because they were just too noisy and it was hard to see anybody else for all their posts.

kaits108

Interesting, how in the world do know which of your friends have or have not logged in. I am busy keeping track of myself, I don't check my "friends" to see what they have been doing.

it comes up on your wall when someone has not logged in

Yep! Thanks

Side note: I like to keep up with my friends, and when I see on my feed that someone hasn't posted in over a week I usually delete. I have friends on this website to check on and keep up with their progress so I can help support them on their journey. If I was too busy to check on my friends, I wouldn't bother to add ANYONE

Mairgheal

I'm actually quite shocked, well, surprised I should say I suppose, to read the amount of people who have 250 "friends" here. What's the point of that??

tiffvea

I'm typically a very positive person and stay away from negative comments, but I must say, when the lady said my burning only 280 calories wasn't pushing myself, then deleted me 3 days later......almost like she was thinking I was a lost cause! Well, just because I don't always burn 900 calories a day, like she did often, doesn't make me any less of a person. Matter of fact, I'll pat myself on the back for losing 43 lbs BEFORE I ever started myfitnesspal! I've lost 14 since being on here, and I'm now down to the final 20! Go me!!
Also, thanks for all the friend adds.....I appreciate the SUPPORT!