Happy Birthday Chuck Norris

tashjs21

Chuck Norris actually died 20 years ago, death hasn't worked up the courage to tell him yet.



Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as giraffes.



Who's next? :laugh:

tashjs21

Ok, I have another.

Chuck Norris CAN touch MC Hammer


:laugh:

Shannon023

Chuck Norris can make a happy meal cry.

Multiple people have died from Chuck Norris giving them the finger.


I LOVVVVVVVVE Chuck Norris jokes!!!! :laugh:

ScorchPA

When Chuck Norris does push ups, he's actually pushing the Earth away from him

tashjs21

Chuck Norris can make a happy meal cry.

Multiple people have died from Chuck Norris giving them the finger.


I LOVVVVVVVVE Chuck Norris jokes!!!! :laugh:

Me too! And what better day to indulge in this guilty pleasure? :laugh:

DeadZip2010

The number of round house kick related deaths went up 4,837% the day Chuck Norris was born.

Chuck Norris invented time travel, went back and impregnated his mother. Thus proving that Chuck Norris is the only person who could father Cuck Norris.

I could go on for hours like this. good laughs.

Shannon023

bwahahahahaha!!!!

Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There we no survivors.

:laugh: :laugh:

netsirk419

Google "Where is Chuck Norris" and select the "I'm feeling lucky" tab...

DeadZip2010

Once on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris round house kicked a lamb. He picked up the lamb, rubbed it against his bread and the lamb came back to life. Shortly after he sat the lamb back down he kicked the lamb and killed it again. Proving to the world that the good Chuck givith and the good Chuck taketh away.


lol

tashjs21

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

T_R_A_V

chuck norris is not hung like a horse....horses are hung like chuck norris

Secret_Agent_007

Theres no chin under Chuck Norris' beard. It's another fist.

Shannon023

Secret_Agent_007

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off

tashjs21

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off

:laugh:

Love that one!

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

Shannon023

Theres no chin under Chuck Norris' beard. It's another fist.

:laugh:

tashjs21

Theres no chin under Chuck Norris' beard. It's another fist.

:laugh:

Family Guy AND Chuck Norris??? Awesome! :laugh:

tashjs21

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it

lizdavis07

Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.....

Just_Dot

I ADORE Chuck Norris jokes...

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer...but Chuck Norris never cries.

stephr2014

I love chuck norris jokes!

tashjs21

Google "Where is Chuck Norris" and select the "I'm feeling lucky" tab...

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you

RunOnSentence

I've been determined to be a quiet, creepy lurker, but this thread has pushed me out of the woodwork!

Thanks to the OP :drinker:

I'm still in tears laughing about the Pie Chart with 'Believe It's Not Butter!' :laugh: :sad:

zave

Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your *kitten*, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

tashjs21

Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your *kitten*, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

:laugh:

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Shannon023

Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your *kitten*, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

:laugh: :laugh:

Gee thanks, Chuck!

stephr2014

There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: Lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Chuck Norris.


For doctors... an apple a day keeps chuck norris away.

jljohnson

They once tried making Chuck Norris toilet paper, but had to abandon the project... because it wouldn't take *kitten* from anyone.

tashjs21

There is no “ctrl” button on Chuck Norris’s computer. Chuck Norris is always in control

zave

"I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

tashjs21

:laugh:

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.