Happy Birthday Chuck Norris

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2

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  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
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    Google "Where is Chuck Norris" and select the "I'm feeling lucky" tab...

    Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you
  • RunOnSentence
    RunOnSentence Posts: 32
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    I've been determined to be a quiet, creepy lurker, but this thread has pushed me out of the woodwork!

    Thanks to the OP :drinker:

    I'm still in tears laughing about the Pie Chart with 'Believe It's Not Butter!' :laugh: :sad:
  • zave
    zave Posts: 238
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    Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your *kitten*, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
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    Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your *kitten*, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

    :laugh:

    In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your *kitten*, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

    :laugh: :laugh:

    Gee thanks, Chuck!
  • stephr2014
    stephr2014 Posts: 311 Member
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    There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: Lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Chuck Norris.


    For doctors... an apple a day keeps chuck norris away.
  • jljohnson
    jljohnson Posts: 719 Member
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    They once tried making Chuck Norris toilet paper, but had to abandon the project... because it wouldn't take *kitten* from anyone.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
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    There is no “ctrl” button on Chuck Norris’s computer. Chuck Norris is always in control
  • zave
    zave Posts: 238
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    "I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
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    :laugh:

    When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
  • 3babybeans
    3babybeans Posts: 8,268 Member
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    There is no theory of evolution...just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

    :laugh:
  • NHGirl23
    NHGirl23 Posts: 2,657 Member
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    Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the *kitten* out of it!
  • 3babybeans
    3babybeans Posts: 8,268 Member
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    (appropriate for today...)

    Chuck Norris can build a snow man out of rain.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
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    Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the *kitten* out of it!

    Bwahahaha!
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
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    chuck-norris.jpg
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
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    If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    Chuck Norris can make a snowman out of rain.
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
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    I'm reading these at work and trying so hard not to burst out loud laughing. Got tears rolling down my face. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    I almost completely lost it with the pie chart one and the toilet paper one. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    (appropriate for today...)

    Chuck Norris can build a snow man out of rain.

    D'oh!! I didn't see yours! :embarassed: :laugh:
  • Secret_Agent_007
    Secret_Agent_007 Posts: 1,082
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    They once tried making Chuck Norris toilet paper, but had to abandon the project... because it wouldn't take *kitten* from anyone.



    I peed a little just there. :laugh:

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