uncondtional support here, not from my narcasistic family

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lloydrt
lloydrt Posts: 1,121 Member
in Motivation and Support
Just wanted to say, Im getting close to my goal weight in a few weeks. I wanted to thank my friends on this site who have shown uncondtional love and support.

I tried to share my accompishments this last week end with my family ( neices birthday and lots of family there) and after not seeing 2 brothers for almost one year ,the one said , "well when are you going to lose the rest so you can be the " normal" weight" ?
He barlely even congratulted me or mentioned the fact that I am now 121 lbs smaller than the last time I saw him. It was like walking on egg shells when I tried to tell him about this site and the support I got, it was like he was making feel weak for needing help in my weight loss jouorney...........

Then mentions the fact that I probably lost 10 or so years of the rest of my life already, because I have been "fat " for 5 years or so.....

Literally, I am not lying, he smokes unfiltered Camel cigarettes, has high prostate levels and hes condeming me for being fat for 5 years and that I "better hurry up and lose the rest or Im going to lose years of what little life I have left..........

I kid you not

Anyone who has some one they know who has NPD, (narcistic personaltity disorder) will kinda know what Im talking about.....They just cant or are unable to recognize you for your accomplishments of losing weight.......they only want to sabatoge you, or make you feel guilty about being overweight in the first place........
I dont have a medical degree to certify him, but I ve read tons about the illness and he is truly a narcisist.........


Family, dont you just love them.?

Thanks for all the support here, Im about 6 weeks( 14lbs more) from acheiving my goal and just wanted to recognize you all for your kindness and support..........Lloyd
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Replies

  • Tupelo64
    Tupelo64 Posts: 36 Member
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    WOW what strength and determination you have had in spite of everything. I am relatively new to this site.. and my battle is no where near what yours have been.. but I just wanted to write a quick note.. of graditute for your attitute.

    Keep loving yourself.. because that is what you are doing.. you are unconditionally LOVING yourself.

    Blessings. and best of luck on the last 14!

    K
  • DuctTapedDancer
    DuctTapedDancer Posts: 2 Member
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    Amazing work, congrats on your journey!
  • Fat2FitChick
    Fat2FitChick Posts: 451 Member
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    My father is like this! I haven't told him about my weight loss or even that i am trying to lose the wight because I know what he'll say. I just can't put myself through it.
  • Nysie5
    Nysie5 Posts: 215 Member
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    you are amazing, congrats on all your hard work.. know that u are loved
  • Setof2Keys
    Setof2Keys Posts: 681 Member
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    OMG It sounds like he is not a confident person in his own abilities, so he has to mock you. He is not strong enough to take on an AMAZING goal and accomplish it and feel inferior to your power, so he tries to knock you down. 121 LBs is a whole Nicole Ritchey and one of her babies, that a one heck of a stunning accomplishment and don't you dare let ANYONE tell you different. People that are failures, like to make others aroud them fail too. You're not a failure by far... Congrats. I doubt your doctor would agree with him.
  • Krissy_breann
    Krissy_breann Posts: 26
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    You've done an AMAZING job so far! Don't let him get you down. I think you're doing great, keep it up!
  • davesqueen
    davesqueen Posts: 11
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    I'm so sorry about your family! I don't even know you and I am motivated and inspired by your progress and the strength and determination you have to live a healthy life. May you continue to be successful on your journey and keep in mind...
    No-one can ruin your day unless you give them the power to.
    Congratulations again!
  • atomdraco
    atomdraco Posts: 1,083 Member
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    You should be very proud of what you've accomplish even your family does not support you (which you've been doing). I agree about getting great support from the friends I have on this site. My hubby was making fun of me when I just started counting calories. I kept turn to this site to get the support that I needed, and now he saw my result (not just losing weight but got more fit and healthier), and no longer making fun of me. I hope one day I can inspire him to start working out too, like those people here who has inspired me. Keep up with the good work.
  • megpiemac12
    megpiemac12 Posts: 76
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    Great job! wonderful inspiration!
  • dmoses
    dmoses Posts: 786 Member
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    You've done a FANTASTIC job! Keep up the great work!
  • benitocereno
    benitocereno Posts: 101 Member
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    Sounds like any weight your family managed to lose was from their brains. You've done an awesome job and look great.

    In a way I feel sorry for people like them who can't manage to be happy for others, imagine how miserable they must be in their own lives to have the need to project it onto others.

    And in the end, if they can't deal with it, I think you have another couple hundred pounds to lose :smile:

    Congrats again OP.
  • winneau
    winneau Posts: 139 Member
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    Congratulations!!! I'm *SO* excited for you as you reach your goal :D

    Haters gonna hate! Just feel sorry for them. It takes a really insecure, sad little person to be so incapable of feeling joy for others. I know some people like that too... one "friend" actually said it that didn't "look" like I had lost the weight I've lost. Nice, right?
  • chrissym78
    chrissym78 Posts: 628 Member
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    I've got some family like that too :/ This site is amazing and it has helped me soooo much! Keep on doin' your thing, you're in the home stretch!! Congrats on the loss, that's incredible!!!
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,319 Member
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    I feel you brother. I grew up with a family full of 'em.
    And you know, just when you think they are going to acknowledge your achievements, they go and try to take credit for them.
  • Flyntiggr
    Flyntiggr Posts: 898 Member
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    I have a similar family situation, so I understand. My sister and her husband are both overweight, yet when I go over there, I get the 'look' and then questions like, so how much longer are you going to pay your trainer? I've lost 17 pounds, almost 3% body fat and over 8 inches from my body since January, and they look at me like I'm throwing money away.

    I have learned over the years that I need not care what they think. Their goal in life is to put others down in order to feel better about themselves. No amount of tellng them that will change them, so I stopped caring what they think. This fact alone eats at them more than anything, and it worth it. I've had others compliment me on my weight loss, and that's what really matters to me.
  • dlaplume2
    dlaplume2 Posts: 1,658 Member
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    You are doing amazing!! I have found when I come across family members that rub me the wrong way like that, I just remind myself that they are here not by my choice. I didn't chose to have them in my family and I will only tolerate them when I have to.

    I would rather be aroud my friends they are chosen.

    Congrats on your success. Keep up the good work.
  • nickiben
    nickiben Posts: 117 Member
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    People who tend to not be supportive arent usually the skinny healthy people. Theyre the people who are over weight, unhealthy, and they arent supportive because you're making them feel jealous of you. You are showing them up as they havent changed their unhealthy ways. People are jealous, just remember all the great things you have achieved!!!!! All of us on here are on the same journey -to be healthy and live longer. And if people cant accept that, then thats their problem!!

    Well done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Seesaa
    Seesaa Posts: 451
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    sounds rather familiar. though my family doesn't even talk about it.
    My mom knows what I am doing all to well and kind laughs when she sees me working out and brings in my trigger foods when ever she can. She's not a terrible person, but when it comes to supporting me she struggles.
  • jessilee119
    jessilee119 Posts: 444 Member
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    Right…..cause the cigarettes he smokes isn’t taking years off of his life? I don’t understand people who always have to see the negative in others. He’s probably insecure about his life and is negative towards you to shift any attention from him to you. Don’t let someone like that bring you down. You’ve accomplished so much already!! You’re an inspiration to us all and I’m glad that you found support here. You shouldn’t let him make you feel weak for finding a place with people who helped you reach your goals.

    I never had any siblings, but I know the kind of people you’re talking about because they are in my family too. My mom has found more support from her friends and in-laws than her own blood. Good luck with the last several pounds.
  • mathgirl
    mathgirl Posts: 61 Member
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    Keep on going strong, Lloyd, you have every right to be proud of your self and you are doing SO WELL!!

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