Men! I need your help!

MistyMtnMan

All right gentlemen--

So, I have this 19 year old daughter, dating a 20 year old guy whom my husband and I detest. He is more like a third grade girl. Stays up all night skyping and texting my child. Sends her cute love notes in code on her facebook page, and uses smileys in replies to his male buddies.

So I ask you, gentleman...... Do dudes use smilies with other dudes?

Please, please, please-- your opinions, please?

What's the big deal with smiley face's? I use them sometimes. It's just a nice thing to send in text lend. I'd say quit worrying about it. It's a dang smiley face

SpartanHard

I use smileys all the time, but most of my male friends and i have an unspoken agreement that we're not going to spontaneously start making out with each other.

*Fist Bump* :drinker: :smokin:

ChefJenn

wow u are just one rude lady..
U need to grow up and stop worrying about some stupid smiles on her texts. Seems u have too much time on your hands to be checking out your kids texts.
A lot of the kids/young adults these days send texts, FB and dress way stranger than the past when we were growing up.
So does he wear skinny jeans, you going to judge him as a homo for that..
FYI- its whats in style..

Seems NO ONE HERE THINGS THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THE SMILES..
just U

Becca_007

I am kind of biased because I am a 20 yr old girl. But your daughter is an adult. You may not like her boyfriend, but no matter what you say, if she likes him, she will stay with him.

I think you should be less interested with how he texts and more interested in getting to know more about him. You should be supportive of your daughter. If he is bad for her, she will eventually figure it out and leave him.

totally didn't ask for your opinion-- but thanks for playing.

And all "adult" means in this house at the age of 19 is that I can now legally kick your behind out.

Wow!! My apologies to alecta. You had great advice and insight. Unfortunately, Marla is not looking for advice and insight; she is looking for someone to agree with her opinion of her daughter's boyfriend and, possibly, someone that might enjoy slamming him with her.

Very well put RoadDog!

EricInArlington

to my guy friends I always end with a ( . Y . ) or a \m/ \m/ :P

Marla64

I'm not a guy, but what are specific reasons (besides he keeps her up at night) you and your husband don't like him? From what you say he seems (so far) like a nice guy. I agree that he should not be keeping her up all night, but does she have something to do the next day? Does she tell him she doesn't want to talk all night, etc.? Also, how long have they been dating/talking. If it's still early on, they'll probably talk all the time then it'll phase out. Without knowing the entire situation or about the guy as a person it's hard to make any suggestion or comment about the smiley faces. Guys I know don't normally use smiley faces, etc. with each other, but let's not add him to the stereotype. He may be different. I'd say you should suggest your concerns to your daughter, and see what she has to say about the situation. Otherwise, let it play out.

She's a professional golfer. He's a cashier.

My beef is his immaturity.

Becca_007

#1: Alecta337 is 100% right. Her response was thoughtful and honest and I stand behind her words as a former 19-year old girl.
#2: Marla64 might want to reassess who is behaving "like a third grade girl".
#3: If you think smiley faces are "homo" you're absolutely ignorant to what it means to be homosexual.

:sick:

:drinker:

lloydrt

:happy: maybe this is over my head, but is Marla concerned her daughter may have a "gay" friend?

hmm, ? Marla, whats up with the question?............Lloyd

too funny, I just added my " first" smiley face ever, lol.......too funny guys., so does that make me gay as well?..........Lloyd

SHBoss1673

I use smileys all the time, but most of my male friends and i have an unspoken agreement that we're not going to spontaneously start making out with each other.

unspoken? That leaves to much doubt if you ask me. I'd speak up immediately, but that's just me. Something along these lines: THERE WILL BE NO MALE ON MALE LOVE INVOLVING MY LIPS UNLESS A SUM OF US CURRENCY WITH AT LEAST FIVE ZEROS TO THE IMMEDIATE LEFT OF THE DECIMAL PRECEDED BY SOME NUMBER IS IN THE DISCUSSION. And at that point I'll evaluate the quality of the person making the request. indecent proposal style. Redford was the man!

Mind you, I have plenty of gay friends, guys and girls both, good peoples all, it's just not my thing.

MistyMtnMan

Sounds kinda homo to me...

Me too.

Wow., way to be bigots. Congrats!

I agree, how the F does a smiley face correlate with sexual orientation?!?!

Marla64

I am kind of biased because I am a 20 yr old girl. But your daughter is an adult. You may not like her boyfriend, but no matter what you say, if she likes him, she will stay with him.

I think you should be less interested with how he texts and more interested in getting to know more about him. You should be supportive of your daughter. If he is bad for her, she will eventually figure it out and leave him.

totally didn't ask for your opinion-- but thanks for playing.

And all "adult" means in this house at the age of 19 is that I can now legally kick your behind out.

Wow!! My apologies to alecta. You had great advice and insight. Unfortunately, Marla is not looking for advice and insight; she is looking for someone to agree with her opinion of her daughter's boyfriend and, possibly, someone that might enjoy slamming him with her.

RoadDog-- yes, I was rude. Alecta, my apologies for my rudeness.

However, I'm not interested in the insight of a 20yo girl. I live with one.

I'm truly trying to gauge if I'm off-base. I asked my son. He thinks it's weird, and doesn't text smilies.

Is it indicative of the boy's character? Probably not. Is indicative of the boy's maturity? Possibly.

this is simply a fact-finding mission from a MAN'S perspective.

FearAnLoathing

I'm not a guy, but what are specific reasons (besides he keeps her up at night) you and your husband don't like him? From what you say he seems (so far) like a nice guy. I agree that he should not be keeping her up all night, but does she have something to do the next day? Does she tell him she doesn't want to talk all night, etc.? Also, how long have they been dating/talking. If it's still early on, they'll probably talk all the time then it'll phase out. Without knowing the entire situation or about the guy as a person it's hard to make any suggestion or comment about the smiley faces. Guys I know don't normally use smiley faces, etc. with each other, but let's not add him to the stereotype. He may be different. I'd say you should suggest your concerns to your daughter, and see what she has to say about the situation. Otherwise, let it play out.

She's a professional golfer. He's a cashier.

My beef is his immaturity.

She is also 20 years old so what if hes a cashier?Sending cute notes or smilies is not imature its sweet my husband is 39 and does it all the time.Does he hit her?Control her?Oh and plenty of men do it when they are talking to a GIRL because girls like that stuff.

MistyMtnMan

I am kind of biased because I am a 20 yr old girl. But your daughter is an adult. You may not like her boyfriend, but no matter what you say, if she likes him, she will stay with him.

I think you should be less interested with how he texts and more interested in getting to know more about him. You should be supportive of your daughter. If he is bad for her, she will eventually figure it out and leave him.

totally didn't ask for your opinion-- but thanks for playing.

And all "adult" means in this house at the age of 19 is that I can now legally kick your behind out.

Wow!! My apologies to alecta. You had great advice and insight. Unfortunately, Marla is not looking for advice and insight; she is looking for someone to agree with her opinion of her daughter's boyfriend and, possibly, someone that might enjoy slamming him with her.

RoadDog-- yes, I was rude. Alecta, my apologies for my rudeness.

However, I'm not interested in the insight of a 20yo girl. I live with one.

I'm truly trying to gauge if I'm off-base. I asked my son. He thinks it's weird, and doesn't text smilies.

Is it indicative of the boy's character? Probably not. Is indicative of the boy's maturity? Possibly.

this is simply a fact-finding mission from a MAN'S perspective.

I'm a grown man. It's not a big deal. The end.

Marla64

I am kind of biased because I am a 20 yr old girl. But your daughter is an adult. You may not like her boyfriend, but no matter what you say, if she likes him, she will stay with him.

I think you should be less interested with how he texts and more interested in getting to know more about him. You should be supportive of your daughter. If he is bad for her, she will eventually figure it out and leave him.

totally didn't ask for your opinion-- but thanks for playing.

And all "adult" means in this house at the age of 19 is that I can now legally kick your behind out.

Bad form-- let my sharp tongue (or fingertips) fly before my head caught up.

Sincere apologies for being rude.

I understand your position. It's where my daughter is.

Still_Sossy

I'm not a guy, but what are specific reasons (besides he keeps her up at night) you and your husband don't like him? From what you say he seems (so far) like a nice guy. I agree that he should not be keeping her up all night, but does she have something to do the next day? Does she tell him she doesn't want to talk all night, etc.? Also, how long have they been dating/talking. If it's still early on, they'll probably talk all the time then it'll phase out. Without knowing the entire situation or about the guy as a person it's hard to make any suggestion or comment about the smiley faces. Guys I know don't normally use smiley faces, etc. with each other, but let's not add him to the stereotype. He may be different. I'd say you should suggest your concerns to your daughter, and see what she has to say about the situation. Otherwise, let it play out.

She's a professional golfer. He's a cashier.

My beef is his immaturity.

Oh... nice.... so it is a class thing for you? Perfect. I feel sorry for your daughter with an elitist for a mother. Wow.

Marla64

I am kind of biased because I am a 20 yr old girl. But your daughter is an adult. You may not like her boyfriend, but no matter what you say, if she likes him, she will stay with him.

I think you should be less interested with how he texts and more interested in getting to know more about him. You should be supportive of your daughter. If he is bad for her, she will eventually figure it out and leave him.

totally didn't ask for your opinion-- but thanks for playing.

And all "adult" means in this house at the age of 19 is that I can now legally kick your behind out.

If you do not want honest UNBIASED opinions you should not post a topic. Not everyone is going to tell you what you want to hear.

to be fair. we're not men. which is what she asked for.
but i would think the more input the better- that's just me though.

although i have to admit that i don't see the harm in finding out from someone around the same age what thier perspective might be to figure how best you'd want to handle the situation when it comes to directly dealing with the daughter in question.

kinda my point-- but shouldn't have been rude. Never a good thing.

FearAnLoathing

Men talk diffrent to women than they do other men.You seriously only think hes imature because he sends smileys and love notes to your daughter?
It sounds sweet

Newfiedan

I use smileys all the time, but most of my male friends and i have an unspoken agreement that we're not going to spontaneously start making out with each other.

lmfao great one dude. I always like to take the approach as a "father" style, I simply smile put my arm around the person I do not like and say with a smile and a dead serious eye contact look remember if you hurt "insert daughters name" I have no trouble going back to prison, in fact I would personally enjoy the opportunity. I have used this approach to scare the living crap out of my sisters unapproved of boyfriends and my nieces alike.

Marla64

I use smileys all the time, but most of my male friends and i have an unspoken agreement that we're not going to spontaneously start making out with each other.

There goes my hopes and dreams LOL

:laugh:

Marla64

I would say that if cute little smilies and love notes are the only reason you detest him then consider yourself lucky! He could be smacking her around and controlling her. He could be into drugs. He could be a car thief. He could be any number of really horrible things that don't include being sweet to your daughter. I would pick my battles on this one if I were you.

Yep-- very good points. Definitely thoughts in my head.