I have the fat girl blues

Blakes_Mommy

My evening so far. 9pm rolls around and I still hadn't had any supper, hubby was suppose to bring it home after work. He got home late, he ate at the office. Now he's in bed and I am so hungry and tired I am overwhelmed with temptations of pizza (which he ate in front of me at lunch), fast food, and cookies. I end up eating multigrain toast with a little peanut butter on it and three homemade chocolate chip cookies for dessert. What kind of supper is that?? I'm within my calorie goal for the day (somehow) but not only did I eat crap but I didn't get to go to the gym either.

I get so frustrated when I'm hungry and tired because that is when temptations are their worst for me. Then I get cranky because I want unhealthy food and I know I shouldn't eat them, I should eat something healthy from the kitchen. I go back and forth, back and forth in my head trying to make a decision. No matter what I'm not happy because I'm not getting my craving, and if I get my craving I feel awful for caving in. I get mad because I think I should be able to just eat and not go through this torment, but nope, I'm fat and I need to lose weight. I'm not my husband, I can't eat pizza for lunch, and take out at work, and have a beer when I get home....

I just feel like crying sometimes, like it is hopeless, I'll always be fat.

ahsongbird

The biggest issue we face is learning that food is not what we should be living for. Food is simply what keeps us alive. We have to find other things to live for... find the things that make you happy and do them! Get out there and live your life ! We only get one life and do you want to look back when you are old and taking your last breaths and think "wow my entire life revolved around food.. what else did I do?" I know I dont which is why I am getting out there and making the best of the time i have!

Christie81

I have found that when I eat every few hours and don't let myself get too hungry; I make better choices. I would try not letting your self get to the point of starvation. It is easier to make good choices when you kinda have a "plan" on what you want to eat for the day. Don't get down on yourself too much. Yesterday at the gym I spent most of my time talking to another member...and then I had pizza for dinner lol. My point is, we all have bad days. Tomorrow is a new day! Start fresh and stay positive!

KTCali

I have been there sooooooo many times. The positive thing is you didn't have a full blown pig out sesh like I would have Just remember why you are doing what you are doing, it;s so you won't feel like this anymore, it will get easier and you will accomplish your goals My husband is the same way, in fact tonight he told me, it's okay just have another chicken wing...its only like 10 calories right... he's so clueless!

Hang in there and remember that the past doesn't matter...it's what you do tomorrow that counts. Sorry if I was too direct, I can just totally relate

lukimakamai

Chin up! You will not always be fat if you stay the course...
For a quick dinner idea tonight: Boil some frozen veggies and add a little cheese to eat with your toast and peanut butter. Or add banana to your toast and peanut butter .
I'm sorry your hubby forgot dinner, but make something yummy...
If you really want pizza make a tortilla or english muffin pizza for yourself.
Smile Blake's Mommy you'll get there:happy:

fullmoonhowler

Well first. You won't be fat for ever. Proof of that is you're posting here and keeping up with what you eat which shows the signs for change to come by making change happen. Second, its unfortunate that he forgot and even more so that you were left to your own cravings. Calling would have been better of him so you had potential to get something sooner, but that's in retrospect. Right now you should do a happy dance of joy that you didn't gave into the pizza and only treated yourself to cookies! Working out daily is a difficult habit to get into and it takes a long time to get motivated, but it doesn't mean that you'll never do it. So tonight was a bad night, look at the progress you've made before this! You're doing so well, keeping that in mind, if you keep it up, you'll be where you want weight wise and be the better for it. Weight loss is a long and tedious process, but the end results are awesome! Hang in there!

cswalker21

Hang in there, Blake's Mommy. Believe me, I know just how you feel, and I think a lot of us on MFP do. We've all had days like that and I know it is hard but you can do it. It's not hopeless and because you are going to stick with it and keep logging, keep communicating, and you will go the the gym more often than you skip. Then one day you will reach your goal.
Get some rest and tomorrow will be a better day!

Tree72

Sorry to hear that you are feeling so down tonight. It's so easy to go there when you are tired and hungry. You'll do better tomorrow after you've had some rest.

One thing that I've found helpful is to have some snacks available when plans don't work out. I frequently have to coordinate my schedule and food plans with others and sometimes things change at the last minute. So now I try to have some healthy 100 to 200 calorie things around that I like to eat. If it's looking like things are uncertain and I'm no longer sure when dinner is going to happen, I just have one of those snacks. That way I'm not starving and letting my brain run around the hamster wheel if I end up having to figure out a solo dinner at the last minute. It's really hard to figure things out when all you can hear is your body saying "Food! Now!" but your brain is saying "Wait, how many calories does that have?"

Wishing you a much better day tomorrow.

NikkisNewStart

Take responsibility for your choices. Sure your husband was supposed to do his part, but didn't. You said you have healthy things in the kitchen, right? Eat those things. Make a decision that NO MATTER WHAT, you are going to reach your goals. Food has no feelings- it doesn't care if we are happy or sad, it doesn't love us back, and it doesn't care if you die. Your husband does, we do, you should too. Be in control or live your life continously in regret over food that has no meaning. This may be "tough love" but I want to see you get out there and kick some *kitten*. Show that ish that you have had enough and there is a new sheriff in town! You can do it... believe you can, know you can, and JUST DO IT!

Blakes_Mommy

Thank you everyone for the support and suggestions. I think many of you are right, I need to get some rest and then I'll have a better day tomorrow.

Ashbee1224

I know how you feel! If I dont have a plan for the day I freak out because I dont want to get stuck starving to death and not having any healthy options or too tired to fix anything. I just have to make sure to keep the kitchen stocked with all kinds of things and to always have snacks on hand! Dont get discouraged just have a better plan next time & hopefully the hubby doesnt make NOT bringing home dinner a habit! It is definitely hard being around someone who doesnt need to eat right all the time or doesnt want to, but being unhealthy is not an option right? right! Tomorrow is a new day!

minxblack

Girl I'm with you. Last week I ate an 8 pack of entenmanns donuts in 2 days. But.... crap happens, thats why we're here right? Is it possible to set a dinner time and if he's not home, you eat something at that time anyway so it doesn't get out of hand? Not a full meal but something to keep you going. ( I keep hummus around for that... makes carrots taste good and one serving of wheat thins is like 14 crackers) Then if he doesn't bring the food home as planned, you can eat a sensible dinner and get plenty of exercise kicking his butt later? lol...

The biggest problem is your hubby eating your favorite foods in front of you. There are solutions... Can you have 1 piece of pizza and supplement it with a salad? The first few times you have to stop at one piece hurt but after a while its easier. Everytime I step on the scale I am reminded of how good I'm doing. Even if its just one lb. They all count. So if I have something bad... I make sure I double my veggies and make it better the next day. I just stuffed myself with fish and veggies so I can have a cookie later too.

Are there meals you can have prepared (slow cooker stuff maybe) and you can pull it out of the freezer when you need it? My mom sent me a great 3 bean hot dish recipe and I I make it once a month and have 6 very tasty 450 calorie meals when I need it quick. Let me know if you want it.

I hope I've been helpful. I've tried everything and if I think like I'm on a diet, I'll fail. If I think like I want to fit in an airline seat and I'm healthy, I think I can win!

Russellb97

I believe food is something to be enjoyed and it's definely ok to splurge every week.

You are really too hard on yourself. You have to understand that losing weight is a journey and once you have faith in what you are doing you will learn to enjoy it. There are ups and downs but few things in life are as rewarding. You were within your calorie goal so really you have nothing to feel bad about, and don't be upset with yourself for having cravings, we all do.

Look we are overweight because it was what we were born to do!
Our brains have evolved in such a way that we crave calorie dense foods, we over-eat by design, and we store fat for survival. It s not your fault or anyone's fault for being overweight. Did you know that obese people exercise more often than "thin" people? Let the guilt go and "just keep on swimming"

hroderick

I'm finding a lot of success by planning. I love the endless variety of low calorie meals found on recipe.com. It has great shopping list tools too. So I pick about 3 new recipes each week and may cook them all on the weekend or maybe only some. But I always have dinner that I'm hungry for ready in the fridge. The fresh veggies and unusual ingredients cost a bit more at the store, but we rarely dine-out and even more rarely take-out so overall cost is down.

KickassYas

Food has no feelings- it doesn't care if we are happy or sad, it doesn't love us back, and it doesn't care if you die.

Be in control or live your life continously in regret over food that has no meaning. This may be "tough love" but I want to see you get out there and kick some *kitten*. Show that ish that you have had enough and there is a new sheriff in town! You can do it... believe you can, know you can, and JUST DO IT!

omg. this is amazing. the next time i have a down day i am thinkin of these statements because omg. wow. this made me want to get my *kitten* up and go and its 10pm!!! lol

samonaellie

Hi blakes mommy, I agree with christie, tomrrow is another day, and i TOTALLY agree with you about your counter-part being able to eat what ever he wants and you making the choice to better your eating habits. We all have our bad days, but as suggested having snacks through out the day works great. I leave food everywhere in my house, in my purse, and even in my car. I keep bags of almonds,and other dry snacks everywhere, those 100 calorie snacks ... I don't know if they are the most healthy items, they sure do give me my sweet fix, and they are "healthy" at the same time. Its also a good idea to have some what a weekly meal plan. Dont have time to make one, you have to make the time. It will eventually become second nature to what you can and can't have. Also I understand about your husband working late. my fiance has WACKY hours, so there are days when I need to fend for myself. I've had those days too when you wait around to late to cook or eat. so set a time for YOU!! I eat dinner no later than 6 or 7.. If my baby comes home and I'm watching him eat I may induldge in a snack, or my new weakness frozen vanilla yogurt. I know its difficult now but IT WILL become second nature to you i promise you just gotta keep up with. Even though my little one is four months old she watching what mommy eats, and how i prep my food, knowing that she will grow up hopefully with options of better eating makes my choices of food intake a lot easier. And as for working out its very rare i get to go, so do things around the house like dishes, laundry, dancing with the baby, burning calories, just remember your food intake is what's really important. Best wishes:) My heart goes out to you!!!

NikkisNewStart

Sorry Russell... "we" as in humans are not overweight by design or bc of any other EXCUSE that you listed. There is no excuse for food abuse! I was fat because I ate more calories than my body burned. I had a high bmi because I did not give my muscles the right fuel to burn or any exercise in order to run efficiently. I was fat because I filled my precious body with chemical filled, processed, high sugar and sodium "food" products manufactured by businesses that don't give two sh*ts whether you live or die tomorrow, as long as you keep throwing the almighty dollar at them for their wonderful "food."
Excuses will get you nowhere but in a pine box 10 feet under.

Russellb97

Sorry Russell... "we" as in humans are not overweight by design or bc of any other EXCUSE that you listed. There is no excuse for food abuse! I was fat because I ate more calories than my body burned. I had a high bmi because I did not give my muscles the right fuel to burn or any exercise in order to run efficiently. I was fat because I filled my precious body with chemical filled, processed, high sugar and sodium "food" products manufactured by businesses that don't give two sh*ts whether you live or die tomorrow, as long as you keep throwing the almighty dollar at them for their wonderful "food."
Excuses will get you nowhere but in a pine box 10 feet under.

It's not excuses, it is the truth of how we are designed. Honestly it's this knowledge that gives us power to do something about it.
I strongly disagree with you. Knowing how my body/brain is going to react to a diet gives me the advantage, instead of feeling like I'm banging my head against a wall going no where.
It's the truth, but that doesn't mean we can't do anything about it.
I'm not making excuses, just telling it like it is.

kbabe0017

ClintsWifey...I agree with you to an extent, but you may be stating it all a little too harshly. I think Russell also has somewhat of a point as our society as a whole has in a lot of ways has helped transform us to be the kind of people who are obese by design. All of the societal pressures, hobbies, jobs, popular culture, etc that make up our country seem to often encourage us to overeat. Not that this should be used as an excuse though, we still all have a responsibility to keep our bodies healthy and happy.

Also, the more we were stuffed with calorie-dense, processed sugary foods when we were younger, the more likely it was that we did form actual, scientifically proven cravings for these same types of foods. Because of this, it can be an awful cycle to break, which is why transforming our society into a more healthy and well-rounded one (fitness wise) would have to begin with the new generations and the current parents of today.

I have faith though! I think the technology that has risen over the last year (for example the Kinect - LOVE IT) is really starting to push an opposite trend from the past 50 years, so that is a plus. Everyone needs to hang in there and keep working on their goals, you'll reach them!

Russellb97

I just take an offense to the general perception that anyone who is overweight is lazy and lacks self-control. Yes we need to take responsibility and make a change, but there is a reason why only 1/100 diets ends in success.

I grew up as the "fat-kid" in school and when I was 12 I went on my first "diet" I didn't know what I was doing and my parents didn't know what to do. I remember eating bowls of lettuce and drinking v8 for most meals. I dieted practically non-stop from that point on in my life. I have belonged to a gym since I was 13. I tried to eat what I though was healthy, what people told me was healthy. I ate a very low fat diet for a long time because I thought fat made you fat, and foods that were labeled low-fat were considered to be healthy. I actually gave up eating pizza for two full years(which totally sucked)

At one point in my life, when I finally topped 300lbs, and I just had enough of the self-torture and dieting. I gave-up and decided this was who I was. My family is over-weight and no matter how hard I tried I was still overweight. I thought if I just accepted it then I could be happy. Once I "gave-in" the weight came on faster than ever, and I quickly hit 330lbs by the time my son was born.
When I was looking at pictures from a family vacation and looking at pictures of myself holding my son the emotions just hit me! I hated my childhood, and if I gave up because my family is over-weight does this mean my son is destined to follow in my foot steps? The last thing I wanted was for him to grow up the way I did. Also I was wrong about myself too, I wasn't happy being over-weight. I was on depression medication and deep down I hated who I was. This was my revelation, this was my moment that I finally said enough is enough.
So I re-joined a gym again and I went back on a diet. All was well for a couple of months when I hit the plateau again. I was stuck for about 3-4 weeks and NOTHING had changed. I logged all of my food. I was disciplined and I was working out 4-5 days every week. Finally I remembered why I gave-up in the first place. My cravings were getting way out of control and I was on the brink of disaster. I literally had a talk with myself, and "we" decided that I was going to lose weight or bust but i had to get rid of these cravings. So I gave myself a day to get all of them out, and I believed I had the will power to go back on my diet the following day. I ate around 5,000 calories in one day, of pizza, ice, cream, donuts, and whatever else I wanted. It was awesome, and even better the next day my cravings were gone. That week I lost 3lbs. This was my second revelation, why when i was perfect for almost a month I didn't have any weight-loss, but after splurging I lost 3lbs?

This is when I began doing my research and realized there is more to dieting than eating less and exercising. My spike day became a staple of my diet and overall I lost 130lbs.

In my opinion knowledge is more important to losing weight than exercise. Knowledge of how our body's work, and how different foods work. What I learned is metabolism is the key to losing weight long term. Us lifelong dieters have damaged our metabolism with excess exercise and crash diets.

I get really angry with the perception that all obese people are lazy, yes some are and some just don't care. OR they were like me and they tried to lose weight and because of a sick metabolism they quit and gave-up.
I've had many clients who spent hours a day working out and were not losing weight, until they learned about food and diet.