Family & Friends can be cruel

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Replies

  • tam120
    tam120 Posts: 444 Member
    Many times ignorant well-meaning people think if they tell us we're fat it will motivate us to lose weight or they think we don't realize it (that one really makes me go hmm.... you really think I need someone to tell me that, you ignorant fool). Obviously these are folks who've never had a problem with weight or they would realize that what they're doing is just the opposite. I say you tell them why you're not coming around as much anymore and if they continue with their hurtful behavior you won't come around at all. Life's too short to spend a lot of time dealing with negative people.
  • daphne_gets_fit
    daphne_gets_fit Posts: 73 Member
    I understand exactly how you feel, the running joke in my family is if there's a new restaurant or a new item at a fast food restaurant "ask Daphne she's probably already tried it" and then my dad's the worst, he's overweight himself but wants to constantly give me weight loss tips, I'm just like really? My mom, actually said to me that I would never be able to reach my goal (size 6, currently size 10), because I'm getting too old (I'm only 27), WTF!! And when I decide that I want to try to change my lifestyle that's also a joke, so I really don't have much support from my family, a little from my younger sister but that's about it, so I know where you are coming from and I know it will get better, for both of us. :flowerforyou:
  • susiewusie
    susiewusie Posts: 432 Member
    Think about all the 'little' things that caused you to gain weight.
    Now write them down.
    Write down one emotion that describes each little thing.
    Now write down the power that emotion has had and still has over you.
    Now try to answer the following question: "What would it take for you to regain power over this emotion so that you are empowered instead of feeling dis-empowered by it?"

    This is so good I am going to try it .

    I am so sorry your having to deal with these comments its so cruel and unfair sometimes people say things then later realise what they have said ,you will get lots of encouragment on here :smile:
  • debcarv
    debcarv Posts: 256 Member
    Family can be very judgmental and not think of your feelings when they voice thier opinions. You hang in there and stay
    focused on you, they're only words so shake 'em off. You can do this, especially on MFP with alot of support from youir new friends and new ( sorta) family encouraging you.:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • janemartin02
    janemartin02 Posts: 2,653 Member
    HI!How cruel!families should be there for support.You have family here on MFP.We are here to love and support you!!
    Good luck!!
    You can do it!!!
    jane:flowerforyou:
  • hroderick
    hroderick Posts: 756 Member
    Save the hurt for motivation when you need it
  • ravenclawseekergirl
    ravenclawseekergirl Posts: 342 Member
    Family can be horrible. When i told my mum that i wanted to lose two maybe three dress sizes she turned round and said 'That's a bit ambitious isnt it?' Not nice to hear! Its not as if i'm underweight or that i dot realise that this isnt going to take serious work... basically she said that she doesnt think that i can do it.

    I've been here at MFP for a litle over three days :smile: and i have to say that you'll find all the support that you need here. Pople here really are great. I know it's hard, (i was bullied about my weight for five years, causing it to balloon) but ignore what other people say about you. In the end you can only be who you are. If people arent going to supprt you to do something that will change your life, you dont need them.

    Good luck :flowerforyou:
  • butterflysoul2
    butterflysoul2 Posts: 4
    So sorry that you have to go through that. No one should be put down by anyone but no matter what they say or do, all that matters is what you think about yourself.
  • emma6978
    emma6978 Posts: 22 Member
    My family can be very cruel and the funny thing is that both sides EVERYONE is overweight. I just happen to be the heaviest, so don't worry this site is a great thing to use and the support system is absolutely wonderful. Good luck in your journey
  • crystal45044
    crystal45044 Posts: 12
    I know how you feel. I seen my cousins for the first time in 3 years last week and as I was walking out of the house I heard my cousin say to the rest of the family "Boy she got fat!" I just wanted to run and crawl under a rock. It made me feel like crap. I don't understand how people can be so mean especially family. But it did give me extra motivation to get in shape. But just remember do it for you, no one else!
  • lupuslady
    lupuslady Posts: 99
    It seems to me , and believeme, I have a lot of experience, family is the worst at offending us. If you can just figure out why you can't stand up to them and tell them, "Yes I have gained some wt, I don't need anyone to point it out to me, thank you for your concern, but I need to take care of it my own way, thank you.."""
  • lupuslady
    lupuslady Posts: 99
    won't it be great when you are the smallest?:laugh:
  • shakemybooty
    shakemybooty Posts: 681 Member
    I'm sorry they hurt your feelings!! :flowerforyou:
  • Arketha
    Arketha Posts: 3 Member
    Thank you all so much for the support!!!! :smooched:
  • Mykidsmama
    Mykidsmama Posts: 17
    I can understand that! My family is the same way. One of them told me the other day that with all the running around I do it is amazing I am not skinny! Gee thanks! :(

    Good luck to you and I hope you find a lot of support here.
  • Dove1216
    Dove1216 Posts: 11 Member
    I agree..it has given me a start to get going..although I do understand the hurt feelings:cry:
  • Mountain_woman
    Mountain_woman Posts: 229 Member
    my mother in law always says 'you were so slim before you had the baby' ugh..that pisses me off


    Wow. And my response would be, "And you were younger then too...and not quite as rude."

    You can loose the weight, she'll always be a rude individual. Much easier to change you and enjoy the sensation of flaunting what you've worked so hard for. Forget her!

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