If your gonna be negative, don't comment!

HungryTuna

Crap and I just spelled BELIEVE wrong! LMAO!!!!!

LOL it's ok! We knew what you meant either way. Your post makes a lot of sense. Facebook was a mine field of negativity when it comes to weight loss/health updates. Either friends got jealous, or they were like, "Oh you don't need to lose a single pound! Why are you doing that to yourself?" *Sigh* It gets tiresome. MFP has been great. While I haven't lost much weight, I do feel like I'm taking great care of myself these days through diet and exercise. The weight coming off is just a bonus.

Thank you everyone who IS supportive here! You all rock. Keep doing whatcha do!

flutterqueen04

:huh:

I am not an overly sensitive person. I just don't want my diary picked apart by people that believe everything they read on the internet, haha I am sure they don't mean it to be rude, but sometimes its just one of those "is this really necessary" kind of comments. If you chose not to eat something that is your choice. If you choose not to exercise a certain way, then that is your choice. Just try not to push your beliefs on others. That is what I find more annoying than rude.

JenniferH81

I've noticed that people here are very easily offended. It might be the reader taking offence to something the comment writer wouldn't have been bothered by. You also can't read tone of voice. It could just be taken wrong.

monkeybuttsmommy

lol people on here are way to sensitive I guess. Simply saying "Hey you are not eating the right foods" is hardly something I'd call rude.
[/quote]

You obviously still do not get it. But that is ok. If you dont mind it, good for you. All I am saying is watch what your saying AND HOW YOUR SAYING IT. I dont think thats being sensitive, I think its being polite. But if you choose not be, I cant stop you.

monkeybuttsmommy

I've noticed that people here are very easily offended. It might be the reader taking offence to something the comment writer wouldn't have been bothered by. You also can't read tone of voice. It could just be taken wrong.

I do agree with this but I have also seen some of the comments and I'm sorry. They dripped negativity.

fteale

I definitely find facebook worse. Everyone eggs each other on to eat that donut....have that drink....order that takeaway. It's like most people want us to fail at losing weight so they don't have to face their own issues.

JenniferH81

There is a specific one I remember from just last week, where something personal and insulting was said to a guy. Not about diet, but waaaay more personal. It made him deactivate his account here. I get your point, there are some snarky people around. But I'd still say majority of 'rude' comments might be misread that way.

MichelleB69

I haven't been around long enough to have encountered Mr. or Ms. Snarky, but there's always one in every crowd...and then a whole bunch of bandwagoners who love to post "yeah, what she said", or blah, blah, blah. Opinions are like *kitten*, everyone's got one and some of them stink!

I don't mind the whole tough love approach, if it's solicited, but it also depends on which forum the message is posted. Personally, I don't think negative comments of any kind should be on the motivation and support board; they are kind of the antithesis of motivation and support. There's a world of difference between constructive criticism and being critical, IMO.

AngelsKisses75

First off I am glad to count you as a member of my MFP family!

Secondly I totally agree! I do hope if I have offended someone that they would let me know how, and if not then hey just delete me. I would give them the same respect. *shrugs*

This is how we find people that fit in to our support group, and weed out the ones that don't. :drinker:

... my brain and fingers also do not communicate very efficiently, especially when typing. :blushing:

KickassYas

How is that rude? If you are eating unhealthy things, what do you want them to say?

its rude to blast someone on their own wall for their own grownass choices. Its also rude to say things out of spite and disrespect or worse.. JEALOUSY>

I had to remove someone (and it only took once!) because they said some pretty screwed up stuff on my wall about my choice to eat pasta. WHOLE FREAKIN WHEAT PASTA!!! i was soo pissed not only did I send them a message saying they had no right taking their lack of loss out on me but I also removed them from my wall completely.

she's not talking about people who live at McD's every day then whine about gaining or maintaining. She's talking about unprovoked comments.

and she is deadly right.

there is no excuse for bad manners or bad attitude. this journey is hard enough without being judged negatively for no good reason by others who aren't as happy/successful as you.

nuff said.

1southernchick

:huh:

I am not an overly sensitive person. I just don't want my diary picked apart by people that believe everything they read on the internet, haha I am sure they don't mean it to be rude, but sometimes its just one of those "is this really necessary" kind of comments. If you chose not to eat something that is your choice. If you choose not to exercise a certain way, then that is your choice. Just try not to push your beliefs on others. That is what I find more annoying than rude.

amen!

monkeybuttsmommy

How is that rude? If you are eating unhealthy things, what do you want them to say?

its rude to blast someone on their own wall for their own grownass choices. Its also rude to say things out of spite and disrespect or worse.. JEALOUSY>

I had to remove someone (and it only took once!) because they said some pretty screwed up stuff on my wall about my choice to eat pasta. WHOLE FREAKIN WHEAT PASTA!!! i was soo pissed not only did I send them a message saying they had no right taking their lack of loss out on me but I also removed them from my wall completely.

she's not talking about people who live at McD's every day then whine about gaining or maintaining. She's talking about unprovoked comments.

and she is deadly right.

there is no excuse for bad manners or bad attitude. this journey is hard enough without being judged negatively for no good reason by others who aren't as happy/successful as you.

nuff said.

AWESOME.... Just bloody AWESOME!!!!!!!! Thank you.

KickassYas

How is that rude? If you are eating unhealthy things, what do you want them to say?

I think she made it very clear that it's the delivery, not the content of the message, that makes the difference.

Here's two ways I can address someone who I want to speak to about their exercise:

way #1. "You're never going to see results if you do it that way"
way #2. "I've found this____ to be more effective, maybe you should try it and see?"


Which would YOU rather hear?

lol people on here are way to sensitive I guess. Simply saying "Hey you are not eating the right foods" is hardly something I'd call rude.

I completely understand what you are saying but everyone is different and alot of people who are going through this is facing not only a physical change but a psychological one as well. Obesity has a huge connection with severe depression. for you this may be easier than for others. a lot of people have to fight every day for this. mentally they aren't as strong as they have become physically. there are very few exercises that can help make our minds stronger when we have hated ourselves and been so unhappy for so long. so when someone else steps up and gives tough love thats great but when they cross the line and go too far or when it has nothing to do with love but hate anger betrayal and bitterness, then where is the help?

I for one know that being in this position, isn't ever going to justify me tearing down someone else's struggle.

and seriously if you've got $h!t to say about someone do it privately in message directly to them. not all over their wall.

just sayin...

123456654321

Although I'd like to be in total agreement with you, I really can't. We can't try and dictate how everyone should or should not say something. I don't think either of the comments you made up there really crossed the line to be super inappropriate, blunt maybe, but not inappropriate or disrespectful. I think the responsibility should be on the person getting the comments. If you add someone and then you find you don't like the way they talk to you...delete them and move along. I think it's unfair, and frankly impossible, to expect everyone to cater to other peoples special needs. Only you know what is best for you and with this site you easily have the control to build your support system the way you see fit.

Spitfirex007

Although I'd like to be in total agreement with you, I really can't. We can't try and dictate how everyone should or should not say something. I don't think either of the comments you made up there really crossed the line to be super inappropriate, blunt maybe, but not inappropriate or disrespectful. I think the responsibility should be on the person getting the comments. If you add someone and then you find you don't like the way they talk to you...delete them and move along. I think it's unfair, and frankly impossible, to expect everyone to cater to other peoples special needs. Only you know what is best for you and with this site you easily have the control to build your support system the way you see fit.

Exactly!

If it was something like "hey fat *kitten*, stop eating all that junk food" then I'd say I understand where the OP is coming from. But just telling someone they aren't eating healthy is not something I'd consider rude. And if you do find it over the line, you have two options, talk to them about it or delete them!

ceebs9

Hmmmmm. I haven't had anyone be rude at all. But I will say I would MUCH rather have some critical feedback from friends than simply read, "Great job!" "Way to go! "Fantastic" over and over if I'm making bad choices. But then again, I'm one who thrives on tough love and constructive criticism. I wish some of my friends would start riding my butt about not completing my food diary! Think I'll go post that on my wall.

elliott062907

Always try to remember. Everyone has a Pedestal and everyone has a Soapbox. Ignore the bad and the good will double!

_GingerSnap_

Crap and I just spelled BELIEVE wrong! LMAO!!!!!

LOL, that's great! I'm a horrible "angry typer"!