MAKE ME LAUGH - COMMON

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  • mholmes
    mholmes Posts: 949 Member
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    that is too funny! the flying monkey one was too much I am laughing out loud.. hey!! it's working I'm laughing!!!!!

    here two I just remembered ... [to be said to a 3rd party while still within ear's shot of the person who was mean to you]
    "aren't you glad YOUR mamma didn't bring you up to be mean like him"

    or yet another
    "aren't you glad you don't have the problems he has that makes him be so mean to other people?"

    haha I usually say something along the lines of "well someone's mama didn't love them enough as a child hmm?"
  • Poison5119
    Poison5119 Posts: 1,460 Member
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    This one could be considered really harsh, so watch out:

    Someone not so nice:

    Did your gynecologist pull the wrong tooth?


    Someone not so bright:

    A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
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    SOMEONE THAT ISNT SO BRIGHT:

    "YOU ATE PAINT CHIPS AS A CHILD DIDNT YOU"

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: That's funny. I'll have to remember that one.
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

    Driveway doesn't quite reach the road.

    Dumber than a bag of hammers.

    As smart as bait.
  • peej76
    peej76 Posts: 1,250 Member
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    My husband says this all the time to me "Here's your sign", something about Jeff Foxworthy, I dunno.

    The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top

    He/she takes the short bus
  • sindyb9
    sindyb9 Posts: 1,248 Member
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    SOMEONE THAT ISNT SO BRIGHT:

    "YOU ATE PAINT CHIPS AS A CHILD DIDNT YOU"



    :laugh: :laugh:
  • snelfk
    snelfk Posts: 151 Member
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    my family was just having this conversation on the 4th weekend, here's one not yet mentioned

    Not so bright

    His/her elevator doesn't go to the top floor

    then someone added - it never left the basment

    then someone else added; his buttons don't even light up
  • randimockensturm
    randimockensturm Posts: 49 Member
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    ooooOOooOoo here is one my dad used to say.. I forgot..
    "dumber than whale poop"
  • LML79
    LML79 Posts: 697
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    some one not so bright---

    elevators not reaching the top floor

    He’s one taco short of a combo plate.

    A few beans short of a chalupa.

    A few beers short of a six-pack

    He’s one egg roll short of a Pu Pu Platter.

    The only thing that keeps it from going in one ear and out the other is the “For Rent” sign in the middle.

    Someone needs to spackle her mouth closed before the rest of her intelligence escapes.

    He is a few fries short of a happy meal.

    His wheel is spinning, but the hamster is dead.

    Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.

    He’s all foam no beer.

    He’s one coffee bean short of a cappuccino.

    the lights are on, but nobody’s home

    he’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer

    He’s 1 peanut short of a snickers

    He has verbal diarrhea and mental constipation.
  • briblue72
    briblue72 Posts: 672 Member
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    "Fell out of the Stupid Tree and hit every branch on the way down"
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
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    How about:

    A few bricks short of a load.
    Bats in the belfrey.
    The lights are on but nobody's home.
    Did your mother have any kids that lived?

    Oops, sorry. You already said the lights on on . . .
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
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    Here's another one:

    Dumb as a stump.
  • ali106
    ali106 Posts: 3,754 Member
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    not the brightest star in the sky...

    not the shiniest apple on the tree...

    or lol, and we loving say this to one of our best buddies...." we call her sunny, cuz she's sooo bright...:noway: "
    *giggles w/ shannon...yes its you know who*

    um, the lights are on, but nobodies home....WHOOPS..what the heck is it w/ that one...we all are repeating it LOL

    for not so nice....well...

    someone had some "word that rhymes w/ witch" flakes today....
    or
    I didn't know trolls came out from under the bridge...
    or
    need a midol?
    :ohwell:
  • PhotographerOfNature
    PhotographerOfNature Posts: 452 Member
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    Not the brightest crayon in the box :sick:



    He/She couldn't find their butt with both hands. :bigsmile:
  • mholmes
    mholmes Posts: 949 Member
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    Not the brightest crayon in the box :sick:



    He/She couldn't find their butt with both hands. :bigsmile:

    Hmm :huh: I can't seem to find mine either... help?
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    Not the brightest crayon in the box :sick:



    He/She couldn't find their butt with both hands. :bigsmile:

    Hmm :huh: I can't seem to find mine either... help?

    Like I'm gonna fall for that one again. :angry:
  • fatsis
    fatsis Posts: 1,117 Member
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    An expression around here for someone his talks about their ability but never performs to that level.

    "all hat and no cowboy"
  • ali106
    ali106 Posts: 3,754 Member
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    An expression around here for someone his talks about their ability but never performs to that level.

    "all hat and no cowboy"

    lmbo that's a good one!:laugh:
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    An expression around here for someone his talks about their ability but never performs to that level.

    "all hat and no cowboy"

    I think I've dated him. :grumble:
  • fatsis
    fatsis Posts: 1,117 Member
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    You put the itch in Beotch.

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