Anyone else going through divorce or been through one?

mandapanda001

Hello MFP,
I am currently going through a divorce which is why I gained so much weight since last year and I finally told myself to live for me and better myself. Just wondered if anyone else has been through the same situation and if so add me for some extra support!!

ChantalD75

I have been going through it going on 3 years....

alienblonde1

I got divorced back in 2003 after 20 yrs.. I haven't met anyone since. I have always been overweight but the weight has been coming on since then even more. Was at my highest last year of 239. Lost some since I joined here.

watsonjm7

In the same boat and know exactly how you feel. I'm determined to better myself. I know I need more self-discipline, but I also need help from friends. (Oh wait, she took those, too.) :laugh:

michelegbowman

Been there. Done that.

It's been a year and a half and it's really hard.

We have twins so there is a lot of need to communicate and get along and I feel like I am always on the losing end.

Firnds help. Counseling helps.

It's better now than it was but it is still very hard.

I'm older though, 46. I think it would be much easier if you are young and have no children.

I wish I had better nrews.

elliecolorado

Not a divorce, but I have been going through a really nasty break up from a long term relationship! We broke up about 4 months ago and it has been rough. Friend request sent.

mandapanda001

Good for you alienblonde!! You will meet someone, I have learned through this whole process that it is better to focus on yourself and make yourself happy and everything else will fall into place.

Sorry bout you having to go through this process for three years because it has been around 6 mo for me but then again it was a lot of back and forth of trying to work it out but didn't. I am ready for it to be final because even though the decision was made, I still feel like I am in limbo!

Good luck to both you ladies!!

VintageBeauty

I have been going through a divorce for three years.. I gained a ton of weight during the first year.. got up to 245lbs. I have lost 50 pounds now. It has been a nightmare.. but i feel im finally taking back control of my life.. best wishes to you all!

Heather75

I am divorced but my experience is unusual. It was probably one of the most amicable, stress-free divorces in history. Add me as a friend if you like, but I don't know how well I will be able to commiserate. I can sympathize, though.

missdana2011

Yep...and I spent 5 years hitting the wine bottle. Hard habit to break...but im trying. Gained 20lbs too and just couldnt break the cycle....until now..

MrsWendyQ

Yes Mam...I think it's the "never-ending-divorce." I left him now 5 years ago, on my second long term relationship since him. He was a complete jack*@^! I lost my entire being while I was with him, and gained so much weight. I am happy to report though it will get better, it DOES get better! I am now in love with my perfect man and are planning our wedding next fall.

That man use to tell me I was fat all the time....I was with him for nearly 7 years and 2 children, I gained roughly 30-40lbs through it all. When I met him he weight 240, when I left probably close to 400. Yup, that's right, and I WAS the fat one! He gained a person! I was never so happy than to walk away, it was hard, but I gained so much!

Best of luck w/ you on your journey both here and in your life...I know how difficult it can be!

Feel free to add me if you'd like

misty92

I seperated from my ex-husband 8 years ago. Although when I went through my divorce I was the opposit I lost alot of weight. I gained my weight back when I met someone and was happy again. But I have been happily married for 4 years now. But there is now reason I have to be heavy while I am happy

canid

Yes, 10 years ago. We have a 13 year old son, but unfortunately his dad is still incredibly abusive and hateful, despite all these years! In fact, I am returning to court (again - his decision) as he decided suddenly he wanted our son to live with him. Nevermind that he's shown little interest in all these years otherwise.

Take care of YOU and breathe.

alienblonde1

Meant I lost some before I started here :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

Manda418

Yep, I sure did! It was a really tough time for me but it's all worked out! Hope you find peace!

fresaivette

u can write me to my email. I have gone through a bunch. I gained 20 pounds first time in my life. And today I am better than ever my email s : fresaalejo@hotmail.com. i wrote all my story n how i went back to b me just in case was useful for people that goes thorugh changes. u will b just fine.. promisse.:blushing:

witheredorchid

I am recently divorced and I was at my highest weight. My exhusband loved fried food and drinking and after 5 years of that lifestyle and 3 kids I hated my body. After a few months of binge eating and hating myself more I met an amazing guy. His 156 lbs. made me want to change my eating. He's one of those "fit but doesnt need to work out" types but together we both started exercising daily and eating better and I've never been happier. I'll tell you one of the hardest things for me is thinking that he might not be attracted to me if I loose the weight. Cause after all he met me at my biggest. I decided though that no matter how much that scares me I'm going to do this for me. If he loves me as much as he says he does than he'll still love me at my skinniest. You have the right attitude. Do this for yourself. Make yourself happy first and the rest of the puzzle will fall into place.

pinkgigi

I've been divorced 10 years. It took me 3 years to come out of the fog and decide I was ready to be out in the world again. However, it did take lots of baby steps and false starts.

I married again, but sadly my second husband died nearly 3 years ago. I'm 50 this year and I'm on a mission to be happy every day NOW.

Good luck, it takes a lot of work, but you will find yourself, and love yourself and life again.

GG

TiniTurtle

i'm not, BUT just think for motivation, what a slap in the face for him when you look AMAZING! & he can't have you anymore :oD do this for you!

faithikins

I got divorced about 6 yrs ago. Then got back with him for 3 yrs lol. We have not been together for 2 yrs this month, but still share a house. Yep we still get along and still fight like a married couple sometimes. :laugh: It took a year to grieve and get over the loss of a partner, your dreams etc. We are so much better NOT together though, just took 11 years to realise it. I have an unusual situation to say the least but it works. I hope it goes smoothly for you and you come out the other side with a lot less stress and have a more relaxing life! :flowerforyou:

Sunshinegrl312

Wow, lots of people in the same emotional boat as me. Looks like I am in good company though. I'm just getting back into the groove of ME and hoping to find lots of supportive people that understand what someone's hurt can do to someone inside and out. Anyone that doens't mind an extra friend for support and can give some along the way, I'm your girl. Best to everyone! )

micklepickle61

I divorced in 2003 after 19 years of marraige. I gained 30 pounds or so afterward. I didn't like how I looked or how I felt. It took me a while to realize that I was responsible for my happiness and my health. I started running using the C25K in 2006. I've changed jobs and moved to a different part of the country. I've lost about 35 pounds and I'm able to do the things that make me happy.

Feel free to add me if you like.

Mike

rachelleahsmom

In the same boat and know exactly how you feel. I'm determined to better myself. I know I need more self-discipline, but I also need help from friends. (Oh wait, she took those, too.) :laugh:

Ouch! Glad to see you are keeping your sense of humor. Hang in there! It will get better.

rachelleahsmom

I seperated from my ex-husband 8 years ago. Although when I went through my divorce I was the opposit I lost alot of weight. I gained my weight back when I met someone and was happy again. But I have been happily married for 4 years now. But there is now reason I have to be heavy while I am happy

Unfortunately for me, I eat when I am happy, when I am sad, when I am depressed and sometimes even when I am hungry.

rachelleahsmom

I've been divorced 10 years. It took me 3 years to come out of the fog and decide I was ready to be out in the world again. However, it did take lots of baby steps and false starts.

I married again, but sadly my second husband died nearly 3 years ago. I'm 50 this year and I'm on a mission to be happy every day NOW.

Good luck, it takes a lot of work, but you will find yourself, and love yourself and life again.

GG

So sorry to hear of your loss! Love your philosophy to be happy NOW. If we say "I'll be so much happier when I weigh X" we waste a lot of time. Thanks for the reminder!

missymarea

I went through a divorce 3 years ago. It's hard...food and drinks were such a comfort to me at the time. Still learning that I got to take control of my emotions and not let the food give me comfort. It's hard ...even 3 years later...I tend to enjoy food. Someone once told me to find love and happiness in yourself and all will work out. I'm still working towards it...closer and closer every day. Remember to take care of yourself and your health! I wish you the best hun!!

mufiey

been gone now for 5 years divorced 3, after 23 years of marriage and 3 children. i truly had my heart broken along with my spirit. i had lost myself i knew i was his wife and my children's mother but other than that i didn't know who i was. i had never saved that piece for me. i was in an abusive relationship that had taken all of my self esteem. i finally decided that i didn't want my kids raised in that environment and left. once i got out i realized i deserved more too! i started to pick myself back up and slowly things got better. they will for you too! it does take time you have to take the time to get to know yourself and the things that you like. now i am dating a guy that does nothing but encourage me. it is so different when i get discouraged he'll tell me yet did that so i know you can do this too. its an amazing difference hang in there. mail me any time you need to talk

halphord

I seperated from my ex-husband 8 years ago. Although when I went through my divorce I was the opposit I lost alot of weight. I gained my weight back when I met someone and was happy again. But I have been happily married for 4 years now. But there is now reason I have to be heavy while I am happy

I went through a divorce in 1997...and lost a ton of weight too, from depression/not eating. Then I met my current husband 10 years ago and gained and gained!

elliecolorado

Wow, lots of people in the same emotional boat as me. Looks like I am in good company though. I'm just getting back into the groove of ME and hoping to find lots of supportive people that understand what someone's hurt can do to someone inside and out. Anyone that doens't mind an extra friend for support and can give some along the way, I'm your girl. Best to everyone! )

I agree! Just trying to figure out how to be me again. Friend request sent

mandapanda001

Thanks everyone for the support and sharing your stories. Yeah we were married for 10 years and I felt so stupid because I was so excited about celebrating our ten year anniversary only for him to tell me guess what I cheated. Talk about your whole world feeling like it was crashing down. I have noticed since working out and tracking my food on MFP that I am starting to feel like a whole different person and feel there is a reason for everything and I think going through this I found strength I didn't know I had and I love it!!! Thanks again and good luck and keep up all the good work :-)

bnjajoyce

I went through a divorce after 7 years of marriage. We had met in high school and dated for 7 years before we married. I went through a lot of psycological control issues with my ex. He actually made me feel so guilty and upset when I left I couldn't eat. It's when I got happy and was with someone new that the weight started creepy on. It does get better! I lucked out that I had no children, so once I got him to accept I wasn't coming back- he dropped out of my life completely. I remarried a really wonderful man and have been happy for 18 years. When you like yourself more, it shines out to others. Give it time. You'll find someone else, it this will all become the distant past. It just makes you into someone stronger.