Anyone else going through divorce or been through one?

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  • micklepickle61
    micklepickle61 Posts: 73
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    I divorced in 2003 after 19 years of marraige. I gained 30 pounds or so afterward. I didn't like how I looked or how I felt. It took me a while to realize that I was responsible for my happiness and my health. I started running using the C25K in 2006. I've changed jobs and moved to a different part of the country. I've lost about 35 pounds and I'm able to do the things that make me happy.

    Feel free to add me if you like.

    Mike
  • rachelleahsmom
    rachelleahsmom Posts: 442 Member
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    In the same boat and know exactly how you feel. I'm determined to better myself. I know I need more self-discipline, but I also need help from friends. (Oh wait, she took those, too.) :laugh:

    Ouch! Glad to see you are keeping your sense of humor. Hang in there! It will get better.
  • rachelleahsmom
    rachelleahsmom Posts: 442 Member
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    I seperated from my ex-husband 8 years ago. Although when I went through my divorce I was the opposit I lost alot of weight. I gained my weight back when I met someone and was happy again. But I have been happily married for 4 years now. But there is now reason I have to be heavy while I am happy :)

    Unfortunately for me, I eat when I am happy, when I am sad, when I am depressed and sometimes even when I am hungry.
  • rachelleahsmom
    rachelleahsmom Posts: 442 Member
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    I've been divorced 10 years. It took me 3 years to come out of the fog and decide I was ready to be out in the world again. However, it did take lots of baby steps and false starts.

    I married again, but sadly my second husband died nearly 3 years ago. I'm 50 this year and I'm on a mission to be happy every day NOW.

    Good luck, it takes a lot of work, but you will find yourself, and love yourself and life again.

    GG

    So sorry to hear of your loss! Love your philosophy to be happy NOW. If we say "I'll be so much happier when I weigh X" we waste a lot of time. Thanks for the reminder!
  • missymarea
    missymarea Posts: 51 Member
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    I went through a divorce 3 years ago. It's hard...food and drinks were such a comfort to me at the time. Still learning that I got to take control of my emotions and not let the food give me comfort. It's hard ...even 3 years later...I tend to enjoy food. Someone once told me to find love and happiness in yourself and all will work out. :smile: I'm still working towards it...closer and closer every day. Remember to take care of yourself and your health! I wish you the best hun!!
  • mufiey
    mufiey Posts: 38
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    been gone now for 5 years divorced 3, after 23 years of marriage and 3 children. i truly had my heart broken along with my spirit. i had lost myself i knew i was his wife and my children's mother but other than that i didn't know who i was. i had never saved that piece for me. i was in an abusive relationship that had taken all of my self esteem. i finally decided that i didn't want my kids raised in that environment and left. once i got out i realized i deserved more too! i started to pick myself back up and slowly things got better. they will for you too! it does take time you have to take the time to get to know yourself and the things that you like. now i am dating a guy that does nothing but encourage me. it is so different when i get discouraged he'll tell me yet did that so i know you can do this too. its an amazing difference hang in there. mail me any time you need to talk
  • halphord
    halphord Posts: 379 Member
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    I seperated from my ex-husband 8 years ago. Although when I went through my divorce I was the opposit I lost alot of weight. I gained my weight back when I met someone and was happy again. But I have been happily married for 4 years now. But there is now reason I have to be heavy while I am happy :)

    I went through a divorce in 1997...and lost a ton of weight too, from depression/not eating. Then I met my current husband 10 years ago and gained and gained!
  • elliecolorado
    elliecolorado Posts: 1,040
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    Wow, lots of people in the same emotional boat as me. Looks like I am in good company though. ;) I'm just getting back into the groove of ME and hoping to find lots of supportive people that understand what someone's hurt can do to someone inside and out. Anyone that doens't mind an extra friend for support and can give some along the way, I'm your girl. Best to everyone! :))

    I agree! Just trying to figure out how to be me again. Friend request sent :smile:
  • mandapanda001
    mandapanda001 Posts: 370 Member
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    Thanks everyone for the support and sharing your stories. Yeah we were married for 10 years and I felt so stupid because I was so excited about celebrating our ten year anniversary only for him to tell me guess what I cheated. Talk about your whole world feeling like it was crashing down. I have noticed since working out and tracking my food on MFP that I am starting to feel like a whole different person and feel there is a reason for everything and I think going through this I found strength I didn't know I had and I love it!!! Thanks again and good luck and keep up all the good work :-)
  • bnjajoyce
    bnjajoyce Posts: 23
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    I went through a divorce after 7 years of marriage. We had met in high school and dated for 7 years before we married. I went through a lot of psycological control issues with my ex. He actually made me feel so guilty and upset when I left I couldn't eat. It's when I got happy and was with someone new that the weight started creepy on. It does get better! I lucked out that I had no children, so once I got him to accept I wasn't coming back- he dropped out of my life completely. I remarried a really wonderful man and have been happy for 18 years. When you like yourself more, it shines out to others. Give it time. You'll find someone else, it this will all become the distant past. It just makes you into someone stronger.
  • Nanadena
    Nanadena Posts: 739 Member
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    I divorced after 21 years and lost 200 lbs overnight!!!!!:bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:
  • mandapanda001
    mandapanda001 Posts: 370 Member
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    You make me laugh Nanadena!!! I know things will get better and I am already seeing that in myself!! Woohoo go us!
  • cdbjr2000
    cdbjr2000 Posts: 63 Member
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    Good topic and yes. Seperated for 2 years and gained 25 lbs but am now back on track. I have loss 5 lbs since joining this site and aim to lose 45 more.
  • pyro13g
    pyro13g Posts: 1,127 Member
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    Twice here.
  • Triquetra
    Triquetra Posts: 270 Member
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    Divorced 2.5 years now after a 15 yr marriage. He left me (cheated) for a woman LARGER than me after I lost 40 lbs. :noway: Now I have lost another 165 (him) :laugh: and am working to get down to my correct BMI before I start to get out there again to date.
  • jewelzz
    jewelzz Posts: 326 Member
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    I did it 9 years ago after 13 yrs of marriage,however for me i was so relieved to be done that I lost an incrediable amount of weight.everyone deals with stress differently I was an emotional eater when I was so unhappy and after I was so relieved to have made the decision to leave that I realy got myself back
  • mandapanda001
    mandapanda001 Posts: 370 Member
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    I think it has been somewhat the same for me jewelzz in that I am starting to get on the weight loss train since I know for sure things will be final hopefully soon but I was definitely an emotional eater and never thought I was! You guys rock, thanks for sharing!!
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
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    Another been there, done that, bought the t-shirt here. I ate and drank myself into oblivion and had a nightmare coming of antidepressants afterwards.

    It gets better, I promise.
  • Bride2B090812
    Bride2B090812 Posts: 34
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    I went through a divorce about 8 years ago, but I actually lost a ton of weight when I left. I think it was relief (he was a cheater & emotionally/verbally abusive) and also that I finally saw myself as ME instead of wife, mother, house cleaner, chef...etc. It was a really stressful time, but I had this attitude that I was going to show him that I could be better without him....and I did =) BUT....after maintaining a thin frame for several years, I put most of the weight back on when I moved in with my boyfriend a couple years ago. I realized something about myself....I get "lost" when I am living with someone, I become the caretaker and I sacrifice all of me to make them happy. I realize now that the best and healthiest me is more important than trying to be the "super woman" for someone else and I am going to put myself first from now on when it comes to my health and well being.

    My best piece of advice is to think of it as an opportunity to take time for yourself and get "you" back. It is a very hard thing to go through, but when you come out on the other side and see that you have in fact survived you will feel like you have been given a new life. Hang in there and feel free to add me as a friend =)
  • shakemybooty
    shakemybooty Posts: 681 Member
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    Married in 1997 to high school love, preemie baby in 1999, headed for the big D in 2001 and finished in 2002. Talk about traumatic! I was a boney 113 lbs without even trying. Wish I could do that now! LOL

    It's hell on earth to go through but it all fades away like everything else (think childbirth). We are much better at parenting than at being spouses and get along fine. I never would have though that would have been possible.

    It's like a death and you have to go through the grieving process.

    Big hugs and best wishes to everyone going through it now.

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