Embarassed to share weight loss / starting weight in real li

TriumphNow

I can definitely relate! I don't tell anyone but my husband how much I weigh (or weighed). I'll say how much I've lost though. When I reach my goal and keep it off for a while, maybe I'll be more comfortable with the numbers. The main thing is not to let the numbers be a hinderance to you moving forward!

DEANROBIN

Although I don't have the same problem, I certainly understand how you feel. I just started this program because I felt I needed help with my weight loss. I don't have many true friends but some of those I have are noticeably smaller than I am and often comment about my hips and butt. (Personally, I think they are haters!!) I encourage you to keep up the good work and hopefully in a few weeks/months I can "brag" about my success as well. CONGRATULATIONS!!!

ProudMomoftwo

:flowerforyou:
I totally get this.
I had a bit of a disappointment yesterday. I knew my ancient scale here at home was inaccurate but I just weighed myself like 3 times and took the higher number as my starting weight.
I really hate weigh-in day anyway but having a disagreeable scale just makes it that much worse.
It is my own fault, I know, I should have bought a brand-spankin new one before I even started this journey - bad me!
That being said, I still haven't bought a new one and I have been at this almost a month ( come April 1 ).
Anyhoo, yesterday I took the kids to the YMCA pool for the open swim with some friends and I walked around the track.
There was a fancy-shmancy scale - like the ones at the dr.s office- and I thought I would see what my ACTUAL wt was.
Probably a bad idea in retrospect.
I KNEW my scale was lying to me. I knew it!! I knew I had lost 8 lbs and that hasn't changed but my initial start up weight was higher than I thought and put in my settings on MFP.
Heavy sigh
Needless to say, I was rather discouraged....(wanted to weep really) but kept it together.
Now my goals that seemed so attainable are just that much farther out of reach.
Of course, at first, I didn't want to do anything that would admit the awful truth but then I thought - I am NOT going to do this on a lie. People can just look at me and guess pretty close to the truth so who am I kidding?
So, last night I signed in to MFP and changed my settings to where they should have been from the start.
Painful, embarrassing, disgusted with myself - YES!
After sleeping on it - I feel a lot better about just doing it and putting it behind me.
I am almost 10lbs lighter than my start weight and I am going to be proud of myself.
I am not doing this for anyone else.
This whole journey - hard truths and all are for ME.
I will not sabotage myself - so help me!

Best of luck grappling with this - it is hard!

Best of luck

jdsloot

I say tell them all, I am so proud you lost 55 lbs that is really hard. I am 310 I just started out and I can't wait to tell people I dropped a whole person and that it was my bad side lol. You are doing great!!!!

nothteach

I understand. After 2 children the weight kept creeping higher and higher. 4 years ago I joined WW and lost 70 pounds. And...then I got cocky and reverted back to my old eating habits. At the doctor last Friday I saw what my weight is and just about wept. I felt/fell like I totally failed. So, I'm trying MFP. I don't want to talk about what I'm doing to others, I don't want the "I told you so's" about how the weight would come back. When you're ready, stand tall and stand proud of what you have accomplished. As my friend told me (while I called crying after the appointment), it's just a number, it's not a sign of weakness or failure. You're human and stuff happens BUT now you've taken ownership and you're working towards a healthier lifestyle. You're an inspiration to many people and that is definitely something to be proud of. When you're ready, you'll know. Peace and keep up the good work!

labgirl3

I want to thank each and every one of you - I wish I could give you all a hug!

Yolanda - I think you hit the nail on the head. I need to focus on what I've accomplished now, not what I was before. I'm not doing that - I want to, but a little voice inside my head keeps holding me back. I feel like it's hard to celebrate how far I've come since that means I had let myself go so far. I'm focusing on what I saw / see as a failure (to maintain my weight / exercise / eat healthfully). Infuriating! I really need to work on that.

I keep telling myself that I have great respect for people who've lost a good deal of weight. I see people on here every day who weigh more than I do - some have starting weights 100 lbs. or more higher. I am always delighted to read about their successes - I know how hard it is to drag around an extra 10, 20, 50 lbs - and how much harder it is just to do simple tasks, or make the effort to exercise with the equivalent of a small child hanging off of you 24/7. I just don't know why I think that others will think anything less of me. Or why I should care even if they do!

I still haven't even told my husband how much I've lost. He's incredibly supportive, and has never said anything negative about my weight at any point, but I just am too embarassed to admit I weighed more than he did!

One day soon I hope to get over my fears and post a success story.

labgirl3

I understand. After 2 children the weight kept creeping higher and higher. 4 years ago I joined WW and lost 70 pounds. And...then I got cocky and reverted back to my old eating habits. At the doctor last Friday I saw what my weight is and just about wept. I felt/fell like I totally failed. So, I'm trying MFP. I don't want to talk about what I'm doing to others, I don't want the "I told you so's" about how the weight would come back. When you're ready, stand tall and stand proud of what you have accomplished. As my friend told me (while I called crying after the appointment), it's just a number, it's not a sign of weakness or failure. You're human and stuff happens BUT now you've taken ownership and you're working towards a healthier lifestyle. You're an inspiration to many people and that is definitely something to be proud of. When you're ready, you'll know. Peace and keep up the good work!

First of all - welcome to MFP, and good luck to you on your journey!

I think this is another thing I'm afraid of. Losing weight, only to gain it all back. I feel like I've found a "diet" (as in "way of eating") that I can stick with long term, and I absolutely love my crossfit workouts and buddies. So I'm hoping that this is a permanent change. But I've been down this road before. Never at this starting weight, and I've never lost this much weight (I think the most was maybe 35 lbs after my 2nd pregnancy). But again with that damn little inner voice telling me that it won't last, I won't be able to keep it off.

I hope this time is different. I feel like it is. I know it's within my power to make sure it is.

MisdemeanorM

You should be proud, but if you are still a private person about it, you can always decline the exposure.

On the other hand, just putting it out there might help you "get over" the insecurity. Do what you feel comfortable with. Seriously, do you care what people from highschool you never talk to anymore think of you at your reunion? I joked around my 10yr that I was sitting on the couch at home that night chatting with a couple close friends I still keep in touch with because no self-inflating egotistical lying or body-shaping underwear was required! :laugh:

ERapp01

I get it !

I have lost and gained the same weight back for the last 15 years. Each time gaining more than my last time. I have lost 31 lbs, and lie if anyone ask me. I say "no difference on the scale, just walking more".

I have 69 more lbs to go and more lies to come

Delicate

Know exactly how you feel, I never tell anyone exactly how much I weighed or how much I weigh (mfp i dont mind so much though)

I just tell them 'x pounds' 'only a bit' or 'not enough'

Mainly cause I feel so bad on how I was before and how I let it get that bad in the first place.

But I have always ate rather healthy just way to much portion wise.

However at the moment they just think of me as the energizer bunny constantly going to the gym, a few of them have asked how long i've done that and if its only a phase. Yep 5 years gymming is a phase !

scagneti

I don't like telling people my weight because they pretty much always go "OMG, you STILL weigh THAT much?" (capitals are where their voice inflections happen). I'm down to a size four with a 29 inch waist, flat stomach (with a layer of fat over it, but it's really quite flat) and small hips, but I guess I have a lot of muscle or something because I'm still at 142, which to them at least, sounds like a lot. Funny thing is prior to that, they're telling me how great I look and that I should be stopping soon so I don't get "too skinny", and as soon as they hear a number, I'm expecting them to call me overweight.

From now on I'm tempted to just say that I don't have a scale or weigh myself because it's not an accurate representation of the work and see if they get the point.

callipygianchronicle

I want to thank each and every one of you - I wish I could give you all a hug!

Yolanda - I think you hit the nail on the head. I need to focus on what I've accomplished now, not what I was before. I'm not doing that - I want to, but a little voice inside my head keeps holding me back. I feel like it's hard to celebrate how far I've come since that means I had let myself go so far. I'm focusing on what I saw / see as a failure (to maintain my weight / exercise / eat healthfully). Infuriating! I really need to work on that.

I keep telling myself that I have great respect for people who've lost a good deal of weight. I see people on here every day who weigh more than I do - some have starting weights 100 lbs. or more higher. I am always delighted to read about their successes - I know how hard it is to drag around an extra 10, 20, 50 lbs - and how much harder it is just to do simple tasks, or make the effort to exercise with the equivalent of a small child hanging off of you 24/7. I just don't know why I think that others will think anything less of me. Or why I should care even if they do!

I still haven't even told my husband how much I've lost. He's incredibly supportive, and has never said anything negative about my weight at any point, but I just am too embarassed to admit I weighed more than he did!

One day soon I hope to get over my fears and post a success story.

I absolutely believe you will get there. Last week I admitted to my husband that at my starting weight, I outweighed him by 100 pounds. He was stunned that it was that high, because he’s never looked at me as a very obese person. Though I was, and still am. So I’m not saying that I don’t get the obstacles. I get it. I struggle with it, too. But I still know that the shame is damaging, and that in the end it will sabotage, not aid, in our success. So, we keep working and moving forward. You will get to another place on this. The fact that you recognize it as a problem is already a sign that change is afoot!

nlhawthorne

I know exactly what you mean. I've lost 150lb but I can't bring myself to share that with anyone who hasn't been in the same boat because to have been 150lb overweight feels like a huge weakness. People react in a horrified way as they do the mental math and try to figure out how heavy you must have been before, especially if, like me, you're still quite large. It's almost humiliating. However you have to remember that you don't owe anyone anything. If you don't want to tell them how much you've lost, then don't - just say you're not comfortable discussing it. Most people will back off at that point because they don't want to invade your privacy. But just remember you should be proud, not ashamed. You've lost a lot of weight and become a lot healthier. There's no shame in that. Feel proud but only share what you feel comfortable with. You don't owe anyone anything else - look after yourself as your priority,

SabrinaJL

I'm with Yolanda. My husband knows what I weigh. My friends know what I weigh. All of you know what I weigh. It is what it is and I'm not ashamed of myself. Is it something that needs to be fixed? Yes, for health reasons. Is it something to hide and beat myself up over? Not to me it's not. Be proud of yourself no matter where you're at.

ericzintx

The past is the past! Sabrina said it before I could - It is what it is. You have come such a long way - you have showed yourself and everyone else that you are dedicated to changing your future. Now THAT is something to be proud of.

This is great personal growth success story! GREAT job!

llkilgore

I tell the curious that I've lost a spare tire large enough to fit a mac truck, which of course is an exaggeration, but does accurately reflect my feelings on the subject. So far no one has pursued the matter any further.

bjshooter

You should tell people you have done so well. I tell literally anyone that will listen and most of them that don't. Most people are lovely and want to know what you secret is, you get the odd jealous look, take it as a compliment

Rebeccasluckyduck

All of us (or at least most of us) have gained and lost and gained and lost and....the same weight over and over again. Be proud that you have lost this much weight this time around and that you are here at MFP learning how to keep it off. The best thing about this site is it teaches us to eat right. We're not counting points or buying prepackaged food by the month. We're learning to watch our portion sizes and consider the calorie and fat content in something before we eat it.

Be soooo proud of what you have accomplished and know that everyone else is proud of you too.

Success is a journey, not a destination.

anna_b1

I completely understand!!! Very few people who see me everyday know I've lost weight, but they notice something is different about me. I got my haircut last week, so they just naturally assume it's that that's different about me, and I don't correct them. Yes, my hair is different, but my face does look thinner and judging by my baggy clothes I'm fairly sure my body must look different too.

Don't get me wrong: Like you I'm so proud of how hard I'm working, but I just would rather people don't discern how badly I needed to lose this weight. (Even though the rational me realizes this was obvious to everyone!)

I've been practising what to say to people when they do start to notice like those who only see me rarely already do. I've practised the "I'm trying. Thanks" response and the "Oh, I've lost a bit". It just makes me feel uncomfortable.

tiaydew

I think telling my husband and close friends my true weight really made it more real to me that I needed to get responsible about my health. I was in denial for a long time but it was actually a relief being honest.