Private profiles

Celo24

I have a question for those of you who have your profiles private (only your friends can see them). And, before we get started, please let me emphasize that I am not judging or trying to be negative in any way.

I understand people's desire for privacy and confidentiality. To me, IN MY OPINION, that makes sense for a site like Facebook when you theoretically know the people on your friend list in real life. You don't want random stalkers or exes or anything like that. I get that.

But here, we are all pretty anonymous anyway. A user name, a short description, our city and some pictures. Pretty vanilla. I like to look at people's profiles and send friend requests to people who I feel would be a good match with me as far as workout goals, background, etc.

So, here's my question: if your profile is private, how the heck am I supposed to know any of that about you?? How are we supposed to make new MFP friends without learning something about each other, especially for people who don't have blogs or play on the forums or any of that but need the support? I've made some great MFP friends who are every bit as important to me as anyone I know in "real life" but without being able to initially read their profile, I may never have made that connection.

Really curious as to what y'all think....

felice03

Just yesterday there was a post on here that a lady posted her co-workers diary and mocked her for it. When the stupid people like that leave the site then i will be more than happy to go public

kerriBB37

I don't really have a hypothesis about this but I am glad you are my friend.

Celo24

I don't really have a hypothesis about this but I am glad you are my friend.

Thanks Kerri!! Right back at ya! :bigsmile:

Celo24

Just yesterday there was a post on here that a lady posted her co-workers diary and mocked her for it. When the stupid people like that leave the site then i will be more than happy to go public

I'm not talking about diaries. I'm talking about people's profiles as a whole.

missbeezy

I have my profile set to private because I know many people that use this site that I don't want to be in my personal business. Point blank. I'm glad they made the option to have a private setting b/c not everything I want to share with people in my community. I don't want someone I don't really care for to be telling people I know how much I weigh etc. I understand your point. Great question

misssuperstitious

I might be wrong, but can't you read the "about me" portions of the profiles all the time? Just not the diaries and walls when they're set to friends only? Try it out on mine, that's how mine is set...

EDIT: Sorry, you're right, I didn't know we could adjust both profile and diary.

BoxingChick

.

ocsurfmama

There are jerks that sign on and read them and then give people a hard time. This sight is all about positive reinforcement. I am actually very proud of my Diary and my food choices overall. Mine is open to anyone that friends me. I figure if a person has added me as a friend they may have read a post I made and liked it or liked the comments I have left. I guess it's a way of knowing that the person is "real."

Mrs_McFadden

ITA with the OP
I agree that people should be able to maintain privacy but it just seems that we will be missing out on other cool people to connect with unless they are on a mutual friends page a lot or here on the forums. I'm not going to accept any friend reqs from people that have all info private unless I already know about them in some way.

Fat2FitChick

Right but that is a food diary, that can be left private but your profile tell us about you. I have had so many people send friend requests to me with private profiles. The problem is that I always check out the profile first to see if we would be a good match but if I can't find out anything about you at all, not even your inspirations how the heck do you expect people to accept your friend requests? Food diary and profiles are 2 different things and it just makes it hard when every single thing is blocked. You won't make any new friends keeping it all to yourself. I want to have as many friends on here as possible but these darn private profiles make is almost impossible.

kirstinkrueger

I was told yesterday (after only a week on here) that mine was private. HAHA I didn't know.
I can imagine for some people though, this is a harder journey then others. More personal, emotional, and a private thing. Even though I was doing the right thing, when i first started loosing weight and tracking my food, i was almost embarrassed that I was doing it. Sometimes it's just easier knowing that it is a personal journey and that not anyone who comes across you can see how you are doing and what you are posting.

roadbiscuit2000

I don't like it myself but thats just me.

Celo24

I understand the desire to keep food diaries private for some people. THAT IS NOT WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. I am talking about your profile as a whole, NOT the food diary.

Celo24

Right but that is a food diary, that can be left private but your profile tell us about you. I have had so many people send friend requests to me with private profiles. The problem is that I always check out the profile first to see if we would be a good match but if I can't find out anything about you at all, not even your inspirations how the heck do you expect people to accept your friend requests? Food diary and profiles are 2 different things and it just makes it hard when every single thing is blocked. You won't make any new friends keeping it all to yourself. I want to have as many friends on here as possible but these darn private profiles make is almost impossible.

Exactly.

GettingFit45

I didn't realize mine was as well! LOL :blushing:

I don't mind making my profile public but for some reason I don't really wanna show my food diary...!? :ohwell:

alliecore

I've wondered the same thing. I respect a person's decision to keep food diaries private, but I'm confused as to why a profile would be private. This site is about support. Eh, whatever. I second Kerri. I'm glad you're my friend!

nehtaeh

If people are in need of friends or support from here then they should not be completely private in an effort to get that. But, there are people who don't want/need that but use the tools that the site provides.

Really, its a personal choice and I'm sure everyone who has their stuff set the way they do has a reason for it. The boards can get pretty open and people get free with their information, so it wouldn't be a stretch to be able to find out info on most people who've been here for some time.

I've been here for quite awhile and I do think I've made some friends who I cherish. I don't mind making new ones, but I don't necessarily 'need' them. I would be perfectly content if I went private and just kept the friends I've already made.

cnjbarry

Just yesterday there was a post on here that a lady posted her co-workers diary and mocked her for it. When the stupid people like that leave the site then i will be more than happy to go public

why would some one do that?

SarahofTwins

I agree with you...but also if you are someone's mfp friend you should share your diary so you can be accountable for what you eat. I keep my profile open however just my diary for my friends so they can say 'hey you're not losing cause of this day' etc.

vayax

My profile is public to all MFP members (not everyone that goes into the site but doesn't have an account). My diary is public only to my MFP. If you like what you see on my profile and want to see my diary feel free to send a friend request .

missbeezy

If people are in need of friends or support from here then they should not be completely private in an effort to get that. But, there are people who don't want/need that but use the tools that the site provides.

Really, its a personal choice and I'm sure everyone who has their stuff set the way they do has a reason for it. The boards can get pretty open and people get free with their information, so it wouldn't be a stretch to be able to find out info on most people who've been here for some time.

I've been here for quite awhile and I do think I've made some friends who I cherish. I don't mind making new ones, but I don't necessarily 'need' them. I would be perfectly content if I went private and just kept the friends I've already made.

I agree with this, it's up to each person. I also see that a lot of people on here join with a group of family or friends and they keep their profiles on private b/c they only want to connect with each other. If someone sends you a friend request and their profile is set on private and you don't like it just don't accept it. Period. I respect privacy and people are entitled to it. I would be content with the good friends I made on here, I don't really need anymore either but if more want to come along, hey that is great too

Celo24

I've wondered the same thing. I respect a person's decision to keep food diaries private, but I'm confused as to why a profile would be private. This site is about support. Eh, whatever. I second Kerri. I'm glad you're my friend!

Could not agree more Allie. And, just like Kerri, you rock too!! :drinker:

SarahRuth♥

If they are not active in forums or blogging, and their profile is set to private, how are you even finding them?

I could think of a few possible reasons:

Maybe they signed up with a group of real-life friends (family or work friend competition maybe?) And those are the only people they want to connect with?

Maybe they are super private people and don't want just any random person to see their information?

Maybe they only want a small select group of friends and don't wish to receive requests from others?

Maybe they are only using the site through their phone's app and haven't spent much time messing with the privacy settings on the site? When I started I didn't even realize there was a community here, I thought it was just an app for my phone.


Different people use the site in different ways. That's all there is to it.

kevanos

Well this site is intended for tracking food above being a social network. Some people probalby don`t give a hoot about making friends on here, the're in it just for the calories.

Celo24

Different people use the site in different ways.

Not questioning that. Like I said in the original post, I was just curious.

AnneFordham

I had not really thought about it before, mine was friends only but I have just changed it to public, you are right it makes sense on a site like this.
Maybe we are used to the need for privacy on sites like facebook etc. But when I think about it, there are no secrets on my profile, nothing that I would not want anyone else to see!!

2bFitNTrim

For me personally, I am not actively looking for any more friends. I have a small list and prefer to keep it that way. I really want to "know" my pals and really give them 100% support. So this new privacy feature, as your post hints at, will limit the # of friend requests I get. I do still get them, and I take them on a case by case basis......like, did we interact on a forum post? do we run into each other on a mutual friend's accnt? If I think we may be a good match, I accept them. But I do feel a little bad to decline folks. I don't want to hurt someone's feelings at all. I feel guilty when I do even though I've never even met them! It's nothing personal, but all the nitty gritty details of why I'm here & pics are for my friends only. Only they need to be that up close and personal with me. :flowerforyou:

FearAnLoathing

If someone wants to keep their profile private I dont care.Obviously they feel the need to and if it makes them more comfrotable on the site then cool.It just really dosent matter to me either way.
I also accept any friends request i get without looking at the profile anyways.

eveunderground

I'm sure some people are only interested in using the tools on this site, they're not really here to make friends.

Zaggytiddies

I don't think mine is private. Read away.