NSV ...weird comments about your weightloss ...embarrasing

janna674

I went to a friend's party last nite and his sister's husband who knows me very well...he went to my wedding, i went to their wedding. I have been to numerous family events with them. He saw me and said hello and all that when he first got to the party. So later I went outside and He was like..."OH you are Richie's wife...I didnt recognize you I am so sorry. Last time I saw you you were SO FAT. " I was like OMG...then I said, "well you know I just had a baby RIGHT?" ...Thank god for one of my other friends said, "Well now she's one hot mama!" This made me feel really good. I couldnt believe he said that to me 'FAT' right to my face ...ugh..at least I must be looking alot better and that made me feel better and being called a hot mama, thats a new one lol

SueSee

I ran into my husbands uncle way back, this was when I weighed more than I do now, and before I lost and then gained back. He saw me in the grocery store, told me hello, and then said something along the lines of, "gosh, Susan, you've gotten FAT!" I said, "yes, I sure have." and went on my way. I saw him a few minutes later and he said he hope he hadn't hurt my feelings. Now, why would he think THAT would hurt my feelings?

kao708

Wow...either he has no tact or he feels like you are good enough friends to be that blunt. Either way, not a nice thing to say! :bigsmile:

gburkhart2

Too many people these days ignore the concepts of politeness, compassion & courtesy under the guise of Freedom of Speech.

Sorry about your friend's sister's husband.

Not sorry about being a hot mama. Congratulations on your hard work!

teamsaris

OMG...this happened to me TODAY! One of the moms at my daughter's dance class turned to me and said "WOW! You have lost so much weight! I mean, every time I saw you before you were so HUGE!"

Um...what?

Did she just call me HUGE? I just said thanks and turned away...but I was floored. I too just had a baby, the last of three, and I guess people think it's okay to acknowledge my previous weight.

I feel you mama Just remember you are a hot mama, you were before...and you are now You just have a smaller package to show it all off

Cheers!

StabR80

some men really have no tact whatsoever ( women sometimes too) .:grumble:

ShrinkingNinja

Just laugh it off. We may have had weight to lose, but those people are idiots and there is no diet to fix that. LOL

marci355

I've been 245 and I've been 145. I've had a RNY. (gastric bypass) Trust me, when you're thin, people think they have "liberties" with what comes out their mouths! You wouldn't believe all of the BS, people have said to me! Now after almost 7 years, I shrug it all off! I really do. I've had the opportunity to live in different size bodies and there is one thing that never changes. It's who YOU are. And how a lot of people are insensitive jerks!!! I'm still the same person, regardless of what my weight is. And people that are jerks, will always be that, a jerk!!! Just blow it off! :flowerforyou:

snockers3112

I had a neighbour who used to make comments about my weight every so often. One day we met up in the street and he said something about how I've always been a big girl. I was mortified and said it's very rude to comment on someone's physical appearance like that, it would be like me always saying how old and bald he is. He stopped making comments after that and shortly afterwards I moved house so he probably won't get to see the slimmer me now.

bettertracie

The first time it happened to me, it was at my little sister's engagement party, by my grandparents (how tasteful is that?). They sat at the same table as me at the party and literally told me, we're so glad you lost the weight, NOW YOU CAN BE HAPPY AND NOT HELD BACK BY IT... and if that wasn't bad enough, my grandma adds, " and you're so much prettier now, not that you weren't prettty before."

Right then, I knew this wasn't about recognition, this journey is about my health, happiness, and those around that are supposed to be the most helpful and supportive can often times prove to be detrimental road blocks ifthey don't truly understand and appreciate what you're going through... I've found the 'plastic' side of my family includes me a lot more now in social outings that I'm in single digit pant sizes. It really is the small things you pick up on along the way that you notice changes (and not all of them immediately positive) use every single experience as a growing and learning moment, and embrace it!

Let 'em hate on ya... they're just wondering why they can't duplicate your results or harness your new found energy!

feelingalone

I wanna' know who this JERK was...He deserves to have a smack upside the head. Maybe that would knock some sense into him. It would be nice if we women could come back with a smarta*sed comment when we get hurt like that! D*mn people should have more respect! Keep your chin up cause honey, you are BEAUTIFUL!

pouringraina

How rude! But being called a hot mama had to be very flattering!

My sister-in-law is morbidly obese, and she would always make comments about us being "big girls" or she would say we look like biological sisters because of our "build". SAYY WHATT?!?! I'm trying to get to the point where she can't say that EVER again. I love her to death, I just don't want to be called BIG anymore!

Happyoceangirl

At my birthday dinner someone had pictures on their phone. Some were from the old (aka fat) days. My m-i-l burst out with "Oh WOW!!!! Look how BIG you were!!!" She said with such excitement and enthusiasm, pretty sure it was a failed attempt at a compliment. (She's sort of socially backward sometimes). I knew it wasn't meant to be hurtful, but in front of a table full of people it was awkward at the least.

I feel your pain! But on the bright side (there's always a bright side, right) you look fantastic.

fallenmack1989

i think some guys think its okay to say your fat if its in past tense because they think thats a compliment that your not now. However, no girl wants to hear that they are or were fat.

joip

I think some people get so much pleasure by calling others fat or seeing someone else fat. I visited my husband's family after my son was born. My brother-in-law was so delighted (thats the way I call it) to see that I' had put on weight that he would point to any other relative (esp my husband's brothers wives) who came to see us by saying hasnt she got fat since the last time we saw her. My husband's sisters-in-law were so sweet that none bothered to acknowledge him and just went on talking about everything else. One of them even felt a little embarrased for me. I could've retorted but well I only see him two weeks each year and it was not worth it.

EricInArlington

I would've said " I know I was FAT but I see that your the same *kitten*!"

samfordbelle

lol I love efue's comeback.

Seriously...did he think it wasn't less offensive because you are thinner now? Argh!

People and their comments. One time a buddy of my husband who had not seen me in a while, ran into us again after 7 months of my husband (then boyfriend) dating me, taking me out. Yes I had gained weight from restauranting so much... However, my husband told me his friend remarked "Well Joanna's been living very well, hasn't she?" to mean: I was getting chubbier. I still remember that to this day and one day I'll see him again when I've been "living leaner."

kendf60

I've bad similar comments too. Sadly, I have to admit that the truth hurt! But, just because something's true doesn't make it the right thing to say. I just try to rise above it.

forkeeps

My dad told me in November that he was glad to see me drinking alcohol because he was starting to think I was pregnant. Then tried to excuse it by saying that "a lot of women lose their girlish figure as they get older." To be fair, he had a stroke in June and I think it killed his "filter." BUT, we were on a cruise ship and I couldn't avoid him and I was SOOOO upset. So yesterday he tells me I "almost" have my girlish figure back and now he wouldn't mistake me for being pregnant. And it actually made me feel better because I had been feeling like I wasn't making much progress :-)

octopusami

I ran a marathon in 2005. I went to a friend's going away party and had to leave early to do a training run. While I was leaving a guy remarked, "Aren't you too fat to run a marathon?" Well it took me over 6 hours but I did it- all 26.2 miles. I used those remarks to motivate me. Don't let idiots bring you down.

elsie81

One time i was at a party at a friends house and this coworker of hers was very rude to me ..her first comment was how do you walk around your so big ..and then she was in total shock when i told her i was a nurse and go to the gym ..she then told me i should get gastric bypass,because i was too pretty to be so fat ....well lucky for her i wasn't drinking ....i told my friend a few days later ..she couldn't understand why she said all of these things to me ..some peoples children ..and to top it all off she wasn't that small herself ...:drinker:

Hemis_mom

It is amazing how those 'negative' comments stick with us. When I was in high school I remember a popular girl saying to me "you would be pretty if you were not so fat" I am 31 years old and still remember how that made me feel--My grandfather (God Love him) also said to me this winter "You are getting so Fat" it was so hurtful. I excused it as he is getting old and has lost his filter but I really wish people would keep those thoughts to themselves. It really hurts. The last time I went to visit my grandfather I made sure he knew I had lost 12 pounds!!! I hope I get to a point where nobody can call me FAT ever again!!!

Max_Power

Wow, I can't believe all the rude/insensitive people you all know! haha.

A few years ago I was at a party at a friend's house and there was a girl there I didn't recognize. Later in the evening I realized it was a girl I knew from high school (about 8 years ago from that time, crap I'm getting old) but she was a lot bigger in high school. As soon as I realized who she was I just played it cool and acted like I had realized it all along and just hadn't been that talkative to her yet... I wasn't even comfortable complimenting her on her weight loss in a polite way, I can't even imagine saying "wow you're not fat anymore." Someone else mentioned it later when we were all sitting around talking, she said she just got tired of being heavy and started eating right and took up running. Oh, and of course I was a twig in high school but on that evening I was probably near my all-time high so I'm sure she and everyone else were thinking "what the hell happened to him?"

BlindFaith

I had some random "older" guy come up to me once when I worked as a manager for a cookware store in town.

It was Pancake Day and I was demonstrating some of the equipment to a smallish crowd of customers by making smoothies and pancakes for everyone.

I was offering them around and this guy said "no, I don't eat things like that...and you shouldn't be eating things like that either by the look of you".
I was shocked for a split second and then I just smiled sweetly and replied with "well, Sir, I respect your opinion. Thankfully they have diets and medical help for my conditions. They don't for yours, now please leave as you've just insulted the store manager. Have a lovely day!!"

He left a bit quickly (although he moaned the whole way out the store) and I got a small patter of applause from the other customers.

Eviesmum

I ran a marathon in 2005. I went to a friend's going away party and had to leave early to do a training run. While I was leaving a guy remarked, "Aren't you too fat to run a marathon?" Well it took me over 6 hours but I did it- all 26.2 miles. I used those remarks to motivate me. Don't let idiots bring you down.

Bet that chap had never run a marathon. Well done - I plan to do one 2012/2013 :-)

octopusami

Definitely was a lot of hard work but worth it! I am doing a Warrior Dash this summer dressed as She-Ra. Good luck in your training!

AllyS7

People can be so insensitive.

Coming back from summer break this past fall, one of my students, who I had last year asked me if I was pregnant. I chuckled at it at first, but then I was asked that at least once a week by other students and teachers.

It was so awkward, especially because my husband and I are having so much trouble conceiving. It really hurt every time someone would ask.

Thankfully, I haven't been asked it for quite a while now.

p222

It's sometimes ridiculous how callous people can be, especially if they think they are complimenting you now. I think sometimes people don't realize that as we lose weight, we also have to change how we mentally see ourselves. So, when they insult the old us, it still hurts. I've yo-yo'd through the years, and the worst time sometime like this happened to me it came from my mom. She's 3-4 inches taller than me and weighs a good 25 lbs. less. I had recently lost some weight and she mentioned, "sweetie, you look great, I was starting to get worried because you were looking SO chubby!" Um...thanks? And then she promptly adds, "it's wonderful how nice you're looking even though you still have a ways to go." Yeah, so apparently I was a hippo, and now I"m only two-thirds of a hippo, which still makes me chubby?

ImperfektAngel

I am lucky I have never been called fat and I have been all my life. But with my weight loss I have been called a "hot momma" and "skinny" so many times, for a person who doesn't like attention this can get a little embarrassing lol

Sanya77

My sister in law said in front of everyone that I have a big belly and I should control it. And my another sister in law said I am biggest in family and must be eating junk.(I have hypothyroid and they all know that). I weigh 149 lbs.:mad:

tmendoza1045

I'm really sorry that someone felt they had the right to be rude to you like that! You're very pretty, and you definitely look great and I am sure you have always been the pretty attractive woman you are right now!!! I'm pretty sure your hubby thinks so

A few years ago I had a co-worker come up out of no where and ask me, "have you ever thought about having gastric bypass surgery?" I proceeded to shock her by explaining that I used to be two sizes small than her and was a trainer.

I also had a boss who I became pretty good friends with and when I started losing weight he told me I was going to look, "svelt and pretty" when I lost the weight, well one of my "friends" heard this and decided she had to help me by getting me off to the side and warning me that I should not lose too much weight, her words were, "don't get too svelt because you're pretty and if you lose too much weight women will be jealous and men might start flirting with you too much." So as you can see there are all kinds...we have to believe in ourselves and enjoy where we are and who we are becoming whether the naysayers around us like it or not!!! Blessings to you "hot mama" have fun getting stronger and happier!!!