are we sometimes congratulating people for undereating? Loo

sophjakesmom

I don't always have to have my Starbucks!

Now that is just crazy talk!

lloydrt

if Im under for the day, its because I probably went over a few days before and am kind of trying to cut back a bit for that day.............geez, Im sad now, because I always , always like it when people congratuted me on a good job for that day.........

Now Im sad.....

AngieMMc

I like that you just came out and said what everyone appeared to already be thinking. I have had the same thought and ALWAYS look at someone's diary before commenting on whether it was good or not. If someone is several hundred calories under thier goal, I just don't say anything but that's prob not the right thing to do either bc when I first started using MFP I wish someone had told me I wasn't eating enough. I like your honesty a lot and thank you for throwing that out there. We are here to help one another and telling each other what we think the other wants to hear isn't helpful. Don't get me wrong, I don't want a lecture but if someone sees my sodium way too high, I think they should be honest and make suggestions on helping me lower it for example.

Thanks again!!!

perrytyra

I didn't read any of the replies, but I sort of agree with you. Some of us need the 'good job' for logging in everyday. It takes commitment to keep it up. When someone doesn't log in for a week, we say, 'hey we miss you, come back'.

I do congratulate people for coming in under goal, but I also congratulate them for just posting their diary for the day. I have noticed that no one congratulates me when I go over. But, whatever.

I have a couple of friends on here who seem like that don't eat enough most days. I don't really congratulate that. I have a friend who has a hard time eating breakfast. So when she doesn't eat it, I give her a friendly reminder, and when she does, I say good job!

Different forms of motivation work for everyone, so I just try to be encouraging any way I can.

runlorirun

When I respond to someone's food tracker post, I am telling them good job for tracking, not for being under. I have been under on all mine, but when someone tells me 'good job' I take it as good job for tracking, not good job for being under.

Sometimes there are unknown reasons why someone is under. Yesterday my night was hectic, I didn't eat dinner until close to 9 pm and I was not going to hit all my calories. I was under by 150, but the day before I was only off by 62, I was full at the end of the day and just didn't feel the need to eat more to fill the 62 cals that were left.

For me I am learning to listen to my body and if I am done eating for the day then I am done. I do try to come as close as possible though.

hypergrl

I don't really look at what others are eating or their whether they have made their goals for the day. I do think you have to be careful about not getting all your calories in...a lot of people don't realize that it's not going to help make you lose weight any faster...it actually makes you keep weight on.

I'm not a real big eater...so I have to MAKE myself eat enough to get all my calories in...but I'm sure most peeps are just saying good job on keeping track of it and maybe we should put out the occassional hey you aren't getting enough calories becareful you're going to go into starvation mode.

anna_b1

I've really struggled over this myself.

There is one of MFP friend who always eats well under her calorie limits. I've made a few comments (as have a few others) with something like, "Are you intending to eat something else?" or "Lots of cals left. Eat something yummy" only to be met with a reply along the lines of, "I'm stuffed" or "Couldn't eat another thing" or nothing at all. Lately, I just don't comment on this particular friend and I notice no one else does either. I suspect we won't be friends for long.

In another instance, someone who I thought was a good friend on here was chronically undereating. This was in my early days here at MFP where I hesitated to say anything critical since I myself was learning how to fit this lifestyle in. Well, one day this friend asked why she wasn't losing after polishing off almost a whole bottle of champagne/wine. Remember, she asked for feedback. As it turns out, she was still woefully under her calorie goals. Well, a number of us on her friendship list responded honestly expressing concern about her food choices and how she habitually under her calorie limit. Her response was to ceremoniously un-friend us and leave me a nasty note as to why I was in no position to tell her what to do. In that instance, I was happy to "lose" her. I've since learned a number of others have met with the same fate.

It's a slippery slope, but if we're going to buy into what this website is selling, we do have to be mindful about our cheerleading efforts.

StevLL

I agree with you to a point. For those that are morbidly obese (I'm one) Any attempt to excercise and making the effort to log are important when first starting out. The morbidly obese actually can get away with eating less of their excercise calories in the begining, but have to work to increase those as time goes by and their bodies become more efficient. I have friends that are 9 cals below their goal and that includes eating their excercise calories and thats a win in my book. I only eat about half of my calories back mostly in the form of protein to recover from the heavy workouts. I routinely come under my daily cals, but not on my off workout days and am still losing about 2.8 lbs a week steadily. If an MFP friend doesn't have a public diary, but is making steady losses and steady effort I will give them Kudos for sure. I will also ask as nicely, but clearly as possible if they ask for it or are stuck, "What are you eating, Are you drinking enough water, are your calories clean or junk and whats your sodium intake? So far nobody has been offended, but if that happens they'll get over it as I know I will have the moment I press enter. So defintely your points are good, just please try not to judge just by the numbers, but by their stat progress and their place of health as well. As a former powerlifter and gym rat in another life my weight came because I contiued to eat like I was 25 and lifting when in fact I've been sedentry for the last 20 or so years. Baby steps will get these folks where they need to be and solid engouragement and kind but effective feedback will lead them to the right conclusions. Please be patient and caring. A Heart centered is the key. If anybody wants to friend me I can always use a good butt kickin' :bigsmile:

darrcn5

Well, in all fairness, someone could have their settings set to lose one pound a week but really be striving to lose 1.5-2 pounds a week, so of course they will be under some days. I don't see anything wrong with this. They might have it set to one pound a week because they think they can definitely hit that target. I know one of my friends does this.

Also, I know I am purposefully under by 200-300 some days because I KNOW I am going to be having a splurge day or meal where I am definitely doing to be over. I look at my net weekly calories too, not just the day to day stuff.