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mjd0109
mjd0109 Posts: 152
in Chit-Chat
Just be friends? What do you think?

I have 2 close guy friends (one is a former room mate) and people are always telling me there has to be more but I don't think so....

All opinions welcome!
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Replies

  • JulieBoBoo
    JulieBoBoo Posts: 642
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    Yes though it's easier if one person is gay or both are in a relationship with someone else. I can certainly be friends with a man without feeling a sexual attraction to him.
  • roylawrence87
    roylawrence87 Posts: 970 Member
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    Of course they can be. But there is always the thought way in the back of your skull wondering if there is more. Most of us have enough respect not to press the issue though and not hurt our friends.
  • That_Girl
    That_Girl Posts: 1,324 Member
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    Not until after they've had sex, went through an awkward phase and then came back to each other later on.

    lolll

    Not entirely true. I mean, if you aren't attracted to someone, friendship is what happens first...but usually someone always wants more.

    An old friend once told me, Men don't hang out with women to start book clubs. :laugh: I believe it!

    Can you be "just" friends? Sure...but at some point it will get weird. I have a few old male friends. A couple I have slept with just to get that awkwardness out of the way :laugh:
  • TheNewLK
    TheNewLK Posts: 933 Member
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    Of course they can be. But there is always the thought way in the back of your skull wondering if there is more. Most of us have enough respect not to press the issue though and not hurt our friends.

    yep....there may be a bit of sexual tension....especially if your flirty....but I think its possible....
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    Yes! My best friend is male. Has been my best friend for over 20 years! :bigsmile:
  • Heather75
    Heather75 Posts: 3,386 Member
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    Some can, some can't.
  • fantomette
    fantomette Posts: 148 Member
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    Yes!
    Most of my friends in University were guys and our relationship were platonic. Nothing. Just friends. My boyfriend was 100% ok with that.
    And my boyfriend has one best girlfriend. He even went camping with a girlfriend of mine. And I am not a bit worried, their relationship is totally platonic.
    On the other hand, I would have troubles accepting a friend who is an EX-with-unfinished-business...ya know, like if they broke up because the timing wasn't right. Or even accepting a friend of his if I feel there is "something more".
    I think we have a third sense for those things, usually....
  • missbp
    missbp Posts: 601 Member
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    Yea. I can and have been just friends with men. But I think it would be difficult if either person was attracted to the other.
  • missy1970eb
    missy1970eb Posts: 1,209 Member
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    yes definitely :smile:
  • ThatDollSally
    ThatDollSally Posts: 473 Member
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    Most definately! The majority of my friends are men and it's always been that way.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    Yes, absolutely.
  • mrmarius
    mrmarius Posts: 1,802 Member
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    Yes.. I have several female friends whove always been just that.. Sometimes there is tension sometimes not
  • Hopey1994
    Hopey1994 Posts: 307
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    I think it's possible, but not common for 100% platonic (and mutually so) friendships with those of the opposite sex. I had a couple really close guy friends in college, but after I got married they turned all weird on me. Now I'm just downright socially awkward with guys except my husband. Don't get me wrong, I'm friends with my girlfriends' husbands too, and will chat with old friends sometimes, but so far as hanging out just the two of us? I'd feel weird.

    I know this is not the case with everyone though.
  • sweetsunlover
    sweetsunlover Posts: 62
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    indeed i have some real gd male friends who i would look at them more like brothers defo not in a sexual way
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    This question comes up from time to time with some insisting it isn`t possible and others disagreeing.

    If a woman wants a best girlfriend she probably should be looking for another woman to be that,if she wants a guy friend then she should understand that he probably will have a certain romantic desire at some point but it doesn`t mean he will ever act on it or suggest it.

    If a guy is looking for a pal or a bud then it is best he find a guy for that and also understand that a lady who wants to be friends probably does just want to be friends so enjoy the enlightenment she can provide as far as a womans point of view on things.
  • Jonesie1984
    Jonesie1984 Posts: 612 Member
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    absolutely.. i grew up with a group of boys and most of us are still friends, not a bad looking bunch either but I see them as family and that's it.
  • otr12
    otr12 Posts: 632 Member
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    My understanding is that the guy is always thinking about more with you. My understanding is also that guys are always thinking that about everyone though. Personally, I make no attempts to be the thought police. I only concern myself with how people behave. If my guy friends behave appropriately then they are my guy friends and it's fine.

    HOWEVER, if it freaks my husband out I don't develope a close relationship with my guy friends. He's my number 1 guy and I respect his feelings. It's a bit difficult sometimes since I so into cars. The only people I can hold an interesting conversation with are guys. Since my definition of interesting = car related.
  • KierstyPants
    KierstyPants Posts: 468 Member
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    I've always thought so.
    I have about 6 super close guy friends.
    I'm also engaged and I never ever think anything about them in any way.
    So yes. :]
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    This question comes up from time to time with some insisting it isn`t possible and others disagreeing.

    If a woman wants a best girlfriend she probably should be looking for another woman to be that,if she wants a guy friend then she should understand that he probably will have a certain romantic desire at some point but it doesn`t mean he will ever act on it or suggest it.

    If a guy is looking for a pal or a bud then it is best he find a guy for that and also understand that a lady who wants to be friends probably does just want to be friends so enjoy the enlightenment she can provide as far as a womans point of view on things.

    Cuz your bestest friend is female, huh??? :bigsmile:
  • mjd0109
    mjd0109 Posts: 152
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    Good to know! I understand what a lot of y'all mean though...the former room mate there was NEVER sexual tension. The other friend, we've been friends for like 7 years, we've joked about marrying each other if were unmarried at 35 and we've slept in the same bed once...but nothing.

    For those of you with guy friends...how many of y'all have slept with them already though? Lol

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