Weight and Sex Appeal...

jtsmou

I lack any kind of appeal at any weight, I'm just too hideous.

Is that a guitar? Guy + Guitar = Sex.

It seemed to work for band mates, but it never did anything for me. I'm just too ugly for a guitar to compensate for the way I look.

WinKitty

I lack any kind of appeal at any weight, I'm just too hideous.

Is that a guitar? Guy + Guitar = Sex.

It seemed to work for band mates, but it never did anything for me. I'm just too ugly for a guitar to compensate for the way I look.

I refuse to believe this nonsense. That is a time-tested, tried and true equation. Shred harder then. ;P

jtsmou

I lack any kind of appeal at any weight, I'm just too hideous.

Is that a guitar? Guy + Guitar = Sex.

It seemed to work for band mates, but it never did anything for me. I'm just too ugly for a guitar to compensate for the way I look.

I refuse to believe this nonsense. That is a time-tested, tried and true equation. Shred harder then. ;P

Nope, people just avoided me, and all the groupies went for the other band members. I only ever had one person obsessed with me, and she just wanted to sacrifice me to some old sumerobabylonian god.

wanttogetskinny

I admit that my own personal experience plays a huge part in how I feel about weight and sex appeal. In the past 6 years or so I've gained 45lbs. Now, I NEEDED to gain about 15-20 of that as I had been underweight before. But this weight gain was apparently not cool with my ex-fiance. He cheated on me (and I left him)....he says much of it was that he didn't find me attractive anymore because my 'body had changed so much'. (No one keeps their 17 year old body forever!) Because of this I do connect weight with sex appeal.

After we broke up I was very depressed and ate almost nothing for a month and lost about 20lbs. I began eating again slowly, and by the time I began dating my current boyfriend I was back to eating normally. Well........I gained back those 20lbs plus another 5lbs.

My current boyfriend assures me he finds me sexy/attractive, but I am very very very self-conscious about my belly area and want to lose weight to feel more confident and sexy FOR ME.

stevemcknight

This is strange for me - when I was much more overweight, I had a long string of beautiful thin girlfriends, since I've been fit (about 2 years now) it's been the longest, slowest streak of my life...

I don't really get this - I'm happier than ever, more confident too.

Weird, also, I'm a musician and play in bars or private events 2-3 times a week. Years ago, I used to pretty regularly have girls approach me after the gig to say hello, and in the past 2 years, almost nothing....

I'm perplexed - thus the inordinate amount of ellipsis...

WinKitty

This is strange for me - when I was much more overweight, I had a long string of beautiful thin girlfriends, since I've been fit (about 2 years now) it's been the longest, slowest streak of my life...

I don't really get this - I'm happier than ever, more confident too.

Weird, also, I'm a musician and play in bars or private events 2-3 times a week. Years ago, I used to pretty regularly have girls approach me after the gig to say hello, and in the past 2 years, almost nothing....

I'm perplexed - thus the inordinate amount of ellipsis...

Now they're intimidated by you. I know I wouldn't approach someone who has your body, to be completely honest, for fear of rejection that often comes with fat girls approaching fit guys. Just my opinion/experience.

WinKitty

I only ever had one person obsessed with me, and she just wanted to sacrifice me to some old sumerobabylonian god.

Hardcore.

♥Violette♥4Ever♥

A lot of my guy friends say it's more self-confidence than looks that they are attracted to. If a woman has a high self confidence, she stands out . I remember going to a dinner party at a friends house and this woman walks into the room and garnered a great deal of attention. She was not a very attractive woman but she walked into that room and worked it like she owned it and made you forget that she was not very pretty at all. I was highly amazed by this and I strive to be here one of these days.

jtsmou

A lot of my guy friends say it's more self-confidence than looks that they are attracted to. If a woman has a high self confidence, she stands out . I remember going to a dinner party at a friends house and this woman walks into the room and garnered a great deal of attention. She was not a very attractive woman but she walked into that room and worked it like she owned it and made you forget that she was not very pretty at all. I was highly amazed by this and I strive to be here one of these days.

Unfortunately a lot of women these days mistake being a total B for having confidence. A lot of men make the same mistake acting like total pricks. And even more unfortunate is that many women out there mistake that guy being a prick for having confidence.

fitnesspirateninja

Think of this what you will, and I understand that it is different for everyone, but I haven't been hit on by anyone for 10 years. I don't wear my wedding ring and despite that, no one has given me "the eye" since I became obese 10 years ago. Prior to that bigger size, I had a BIBLE-SIZED "little black book." I believe it has EVERYTHING to do with looks, not confidence (for me), and I think that's just how most people are, honestly. I think to say that confidence overrides evolution is putting a little too much faith in people; we are a shallow species. We are attracted to the traditional beauty size/shape for a deep-seated reason. Hot people make cute babies, really well (evolutionarily speaking). I feel like I'm actually saying what everyone is thinking. Flame on.

I have never been model-esque, but I never had a shortage of men (and women) beating down my door, even when I was pregnant! And as you might guess from the tone of my post, I never lost all that confidence that came with the knowledge that I could get someone, anyone, if and when I wanted to...it's just that now...they just don't want to be gotten by me.

As a matter of fact, that will be one of my favorite NSV's: the moment a hottie hits on me again.

I don't think this is flame-worthy. But I disagree. Despite the fact that people are shallow, we also have different tastes. To make a broad statement claiming that no one is attracted to people who are overweight doesn't really make sense. There is an entire genre of porn dedicated to big ladies.

I do agree that the general population is probably attracted to fit people. But we don't live in our lizard brains.

jamiesgotagun

This is strange for me - when I was much more overweight, I had a long string of beautiful thin girlfriends, since I've been fit (about 2 years now) it's been the longest, slowest streak of my life...

I don't really get this - I'm happier than ever, more confident too.

Weird, also, I'm a musician and play in bars or private events 2-3 times a week. Years ago, I used to pretty regularly have girls approach me after the gig to say hello, and in the past 2 years, almost nothing....

I'm perplexed - thus the inordinate amount of ellipsis...

Now they're intimidated by you. I know I wouldn't approach someone who has your body, to be completely honest, for fear of rejection that often comes with fat girls approaching fit guys. Just my opinion/experience.

I would agree!!!!

kristarablue

This is strange for me - when I was much more overweight, I had a long string of beautiful thin girlfriends, since I've been fit (about 2 years now) it's been the longest, slowest streak of my life...

I don't really get this - I'm happier than ever, more confident too.

Weird, also, I'm a musician and play in bars or private events 2-3 times a week. Years ago, I used to pretty regularly have girls approach me after the gig to say hello, and in the past 2 years, almost nothing....

I'm perplexed - thus the inordinate amount of ellipsis...

Well my friend, we could be looking at multiple aspects of what is going on...First of all the comments that follow have no scientific evidence nor are they theory based, they are based off of anecdotal evidence (told you it was not scientific)........

Ok now we have the "hot factor"...the hot factor is when you do have an amazing body (such as yourself) and women may be intimidated to come up to you or they may think that you would not be interested in them (hot woman have self-esteem issues too), they may think you will want better so they don't even try, they feel the confidence and think they cannot live up to your expectations and the less hot ones either won't try or you may not even notice and count them as hitting on you....I am not suggesting any of this is true, I am just giving you a non-scientific theory.

Ya, I am not sharing my other theory on a board, I don't want it to be misinterpreted

Levedi

I 100% agree with the people on here who say we should work on ourselves and being the kind of person we want to be, the kind of person we can be proud of. There's so much wise advice here!

So, I'll offer something a bit more trivial. Date a Latino guy. No, seriously - I realize this is a stereotype, but since moving to LA I've more than once run into the different cultural beauty standards here. On one hand, I'm surrounded by girls starving themselves, plucking, waxing, tanning and bleaching themselves into skinny plastic clones. On the other hand I see many Latino men and women whose motto seems to be Real Women Have Curves! It's rather liberating. My last boyfriend was Latino and, although he was a jerk in other ways, his obvious attraction to my figure was very encouraging.

Really, my point is that what one person passes over another will treasure forever. By all means work to live a healthy life and lose weight if you need to lose it. But at any weight, find someone who will realize that you ARE beautiful and reflect that back to you.

SommerJo

I think confidence and personality are far more important than body size. I think how you treat people speaks more about your attractiveness than what size jeans you wear. I still get hit on. I'm flirted with occasionally. I already have the man of my dreams so flirting doesn't get anyone anywhere lol but it's still fun. I can tell the difference between genuine flirting -- and the whole "she's fat -- so she'll just be happy that someone's paying her attention".

And like other posters said -- there's guys and gals out there who find overweight people more attractive than thin people (Thank Goodness!!!) But you have to be happy with you so you can be the best person you can be. If that's a size 2 or 22 -- so be it. ROCK who you are!!!

SommerJo

I 100% agree with the people on here who say we should work on ourselves and being the kind of person we want to be, the kind of person we can be proud of. There's so much wise advice here!

So, I'll offer something a bit more trivial. Date a Latino guy. No, seriously - I realize this is a stereotype, but since moving to LA I've more than once run into the different cultural beauty standards here. On one hand, I'm surrounded by girls starving themselves, plucking, waxing, tanning and bleaching themselves into skinny plastic clones. On the other hand I see many Latino men and women whose motto seems to be Real Women Have Curves! It's rather liberating. My last boyfriend was Latino and, although he was a jerk in other ways, his obvious attraction to my figure was very encouraging.

Really, my point is that what one person passes over another will treasure forever. By all means work to live a healthy life and lose weight if you need to lose it. But at any weight, find someone who will realize that you ARE beautiful and reflect that back to you.

That's too funny -- It is quite the stereotype -- but it's also the reality. I've been hit on by more Latinos and African American's ...hands down. In my experience -- and likely because I live in a predominately White area -- is that White men and women are more likely to pass judgement and be disrespectful towards me -- strictly because of my weight than I have ever experienced with anyone (male or female) of color.

BunnybeeJG

There is a point where a guy or lady becomes morbidly obese and is not attractive,that is a fact.

Even still I get really uptight over attractive ladies with nice figures that have such a detailed "it is this or I am fat and ugly" picture that they are unhappy and hate themselves.
I don`t have a fix to that but honestly ladies it isn`t the case,us guys find you sexier and sexier the more you are your own person and liking yourself as we do.

I agree.
I hate to say it but i agree.
especially in our society and how the world views beauty... its not like back in the medieval times when a man was attracted to a plumper woman bc it meant she was well nourished there for had money etc. its a very different world and unfortunately one of two things always seems to happen. either all the women egg you on to stay the same and say pshhh if he don't love you for who you are in spite... oh shut up you know... depending on how big the person is theres a limit ... afterall he's only human. or the girls get such a bad body image they starve themselves into oblivion neither are good.

just aim for healthy.
find a happy medium. where you're happy with yourself... everyones different. mostly everyone wants to be loved for who they are i would say healthy is better than stick thin or fat. i'm workin on it myself...