Gym Harrassment

Sarahr73

I agree about printing it off and taking it in and also not responding to him. I have never had this exact experience, but I did have an ex that would call and/or text me for about 1 1/2 years after we broke up (even after I told him I had no interest in him even as a friend). At first it was all the time, then it was every once in a while. I finally had to pretend I changed my number to get him to stop. (My phone number is so easy to remember, I didn't really want to change it). So, basically, I can sympathize with you. Don't let it eat at you, but DO be careful when you are at the gym just in case he is a psycho and you never knew about it. And let your current bf and close friends know about this in case he tries anything.

deathtaco

Tell him you work out harder instead of staring at people and he might see some results

tam8374

THAT IS JUST MESSED UP!!!!!!!! I was nervous about going to the gym because of that, but I joined anyway and I enjoy it. I just have to suck it up and be brave.

You should not have to put up with that. I agree with everyone else, take a copy of the email to the managment. Plus keep a copy in a safe place at home.

Good Luck!! Please don't let this get you down. He's just one dirtbag. Most men in a gym probably dont even notice what others are doing. Keep your chin up.

DeeDeeLHF

If Planet Fitness won't intervene, I'd take it to the police. It's definite harrassment and borderline stalking.

Agree for the 100th time here!!! Show it to the manager and tell him you plan to go to the police if no action is taken to remove this guy from their membership. If they won't remove him, ask for your money back and go someplace new.

Sorry that you had to go through that! What an awful ugly thing!!

(((((hugs)))))

gumby101ca

agreed, report it. and as others have said, keep and eye over your shoulders , you never know !! please keep us updated on the outcome, it could maybe help others that have or could go throu this same thing..

PlanetVelma

That is all out creepy.
1. Do not respond. That's what he is trying to get you to do- get a reaction.
2. Do print out the email and take it to the mgt. Let them know you are feeling harassed at their facility, and they are bound to take notice. If nothing else, it's on the radar.
3. Do you have a workout buddy you can go with? Safety in numbers....

Don't let this guy control you...

This is sound advice. I just want to comment and make a couple other suggestions.

I would not respond because than you're opening up the door for future communications. I would block his email address and just print it out in the event you need to take further legal recourse.

Do bring it to the attention to management, not sure if they can do anything, but at least you can find out what your options are.

Stop going to the gym alone, if he's too cowardly to approach you when you're alone he'll definitely stay away if you have someone with you. I would also consider going to the gym at a different time.

Finally, I would start shopping around for a different gym. If you are under contract with your current gym, maybe they'll allow you to break your contract w/out any penalty (considering the circumstances).

LovelySnugs

i'm so sorry that had to happen to you - stuff like that (not exes, but general pervs) are the only non-money reason my husband refuses to let me get a gym membership.

hate to say it, but i almost wish you hadn't posted this and proven him right.

but i also agree with everyone else - print it, show it, find the guy and tell him off. get a restraining order if you have to. protect yourself and your comfort zone at all costs. OH! AND, now you know when he goes to the gym so you can just start going at your regular time and hopefully not have to worry about that particular creep again. but i'm praying for you. that's just scary to me.


ETA: congrats on getting back to the gym. it really sucks that the awesomeness had to be marred by the grossness.

Dencrossgirl

What a creep, and the others gave you the same advice I would have given you, follow through on all of it.

callipygianchronicle

I’m confused…was this e-mail from a PF employee? Or someone who is a member but with whom you had a previous relationship?

I went on two dates with the guy, so it definitely wasn't a relationship - and no he doesn't work there, he just apparently goes to the same gym as I do now...

I'm afraid if I take it to planet fitness they'll just say they can't do anything. I will print these copies and pray that it never happens again.

Gotcha. If he was employee then the gym would have to respond. But, I wouldn’t be so sure that his contacting you does not violate some sort of member policy or terms of use. The territory is a little iffy, simply because he has your e-mail address from a previous contact the two of you had. This is NOT me saying he had any right to watch you while working out or send you an email as a result. I do not blame prey for what predators do to manipulate them. His contact was inappropriate. Period.

I would make sure to document the contact. I would also inform management at the gym, because there is a strong possibility that his inability to understand boundaries is not/will not be limited to you. I would probably seek out another gym, if I could. and if I could not, I would NOT go to gym on any set or predictable schedule so that my movements could not be easily tracked. I would also get a buddy to start walking with me to and from my car, or asking a trainer to escort me.

Very sorry you are dealing with this stress and I hope that you remain safe and unbothered by this vulture.

Brandie6004

That is all out creepy.
1. Do not respond. That's what he is trying to get you to do- get a reaction.
2. Do print out the email and take it to the mgt. Let them know you are feeling harassed at their facility, and they are bound to take notice. If nothing else, it's on the radar.
3. Do you have a workout buddy you can go with? Safety in numbers....

Don't let this guy control you...

I totally agree...

and would like add #4- if there are any more emails, print them all up and take them down to the police station and see what other steps they can suggest to keep yourself safe.

...super creepy. Be safe!

Crystal_Rudolph

I agree with many of the posters. Print off several copies: give one to the manager of the gym, (if no response send it off to the corporate office), keep one copy in a safe place, and give one copy to the police. Even, if you decide not to press charges or not take any actions; the police should have a copy. This way if ANYTHING (God forbid) should happen to you, there is a trail and evidence already in place. I know that sounds extreme, but what he did was extremly inapporpriate and scary. Good Luck and keep us posted!!!

BigCountry00

Please keep us all posted on what you decide to do and what becomes of it.....all of us here wish you the best.

lawkat

I am probably going to go against what everyone is saying. Firstly, he has only sent you an uncomfortable e-mail. Going to the police and yelling harassment is a bit much. The police need more than just one e-mail. You should talk to him directly instead of going to the gym's manager. Let him know that you don't appreciate his comments and to leave you alone. In his mind, he might be thinking he is giving you a compliment. If he begins to follow you around the gym and continues to e-mail you, then take to the next level by mentioning it to the gym's manager. Make sure you have enough evidence to show that he is harassing you.

One time does not make harassment. It has to be repeated.

Be strong and don't like him make you feel like you should afraid of your own shadow.

Jamie_V

Ok, yep, that is SUPER creepy. Ewwwww. However, I am also of the mind that going to the police seems a bit over the top after one e-mail. I would e-mail him back ONCE...and only to let him know that he made you very uncomfortable with his remarks and that you do not want him to contact you anymore. Also, have your boyfriend come with you the next couple of times...hopefully the guy will be there and will see that you really are involved with someone else and he should leave you alone. If that's not the end of it, then sure, if he e-mails you again or is leering at you in the gym, then at that point, it's absolutely time to take it to the gym manager.

Whatever you decide to do about it, don't you dare let him keep you away from that gym, girl, don't give your power away to this schmuck. Best of luck to you!

Sigra

I'd definitely try to print it out - but keep going, there isn't anything he can do in a public place like that.

Best of luck on getting that guy to lay off, and on your weight loss!

Crystal_Rudolph

I am probably going to go against what everyone is saying. Firstly, he has only sent you an uncomfortable e-mail. Going to the police and yelling harassment is a bit much. The police need more than just one e-mail. You should talk to him directly instead of going to the gym's manager. Let him know that you don't appreciate his comments and to leave you alone. In his mind, he might be thinking he is giving you a compliment. If he begins to follow you around the gym and continues to e-mail you, then take to the next level by mentioning it to the gym's manager. Make sure you have enough evidence to show that he is harassing you.

One time does not make harassment. It has to be repeated.

Be strong and don't like him make you feel like you should afraid of your own shadow.

Merriam-Webster dictionary defines harrassment: "to create an unpleasant or hostile situation for especially by uninvited and unwelcome verbal or physical conduct".

One time is one time to many!!!

tyienna

That is creepy. Print it out, take it to the manager and ask what they do in situations like this!

I agree. Print it out and take it to the manager. There has to be something they do in situations like that. I know my gym doesn't go for things like that.

jocelyne2

Yea print it out and show it to the staff....use your anger to fuel your workouts! Don't let one *kitten* get you down, wish I was there ill go kick his *kitten* for you, ppl like that pisses me off!! Sorry bout the cussing

Hahahaha ...I would totally help you out there ...I have alot of built up anger just waiting to lash out on someone :laugh:

spackham

I've been in weird situations like that and its very important you take this seriously. Normal men DON'T behave like that. Repeat...NORMAL MEN DO NOT BEHAVE LIKE THAT.

To start I would visit the local police station and show them the letter. It doesn't mean you are pressing charges or anything, but it means you are alerting them so in the event something else happens, they have something already on file which gives them more to work with. They can also give you good solid advice on what to watch for in the case this escalates.

Then if it were me I would most definitely contact the head manager and book an appointment to see/him or her. I would show the letter and state that I wanted staff to keep an extra eye out for my safety, and whenever possible, I want and escort back to my car. If they aren't willing to do that I would tell them you want a full refund on your membership and will take your business elsewhere.

Lastly I would send an email/ or something in writing that tells the guy in no uncertain terms to stay the hell away. (sometimes its hard to do something that sounds mean, but its important that he completely and wholeheartedly know you aren't interested - if his feelings get hurt, so be it)

Be safe.

I vote this one too. When you email the creep back say that you do not wish to have any further contact or communication with him in any way (phone, email, text, conversation). Do not say anything else to him. Treat it like a business email by being professional and clear. Then IGNORE him, turn your head the other way when you see him, if he approaches you turn around and walk away BEFORE or right after he says anything to you as your response to his ignoring your request. (Rude and psycho if he does persist in any way.) And YES on reporting to police as a formality so they will have something on file if he creeps other women out too. If you like the gym, make it work. If not, ask for a refund if he bothers you again and they do not effectively resolve the problem. I think what he did is mean-spritied and that he lacks sufficient self-esteem to be a real man and "take your rejection of him like a man." Sorry this happened to you. No one deserves this, even if, no, especially if you have "side boob fat" cause it sucks having side-boob fat or fat of any sort, I KNOW!!! Forget about him and what he did as quickly as you can. Keep filling your mind with positive comments about yourself and what you are doing. Move on as quickly as you did when you broke off dating him any more. Pat yourself on the back that your instincts were RIGHT ON about not wanting to spend any more time with him. You are a cute girl!!!

mommymovingmountains

Maybe people will disagree with this reply but I would write back and tell him that you have met someone and as a matter of fact you are trying to get him to join the gym. Most guys will back off at that point.

countrygirl_717

That is creepy. Print it out, take it to the manager and ask what they do in situations like this!

I agree!!!!

mommymovingmountains

Tell him you work out harder instead of staring at people and he might see some results

Hahaha! Good reply

Sarahr73

I am probably going to go against what everyone is saying. Firstly, he has only sent you an uncomfortable e-mail. Going to the police and yelling harassment is a bit much. The police need more than just one e-mail. You should talk to him directly instead of going to the gym's manager. Let him know that you don't appreciate his comments and to leave you alone. In his mind, he might be thinking he is giving you a compliment. If he begins to follow you around the gym and continues to e-mail you, then take to the next level by mentioning it to the gym's manager. Make sure you have enough evidence to show that he is harassing you.

One time does not make harassment. It has to be repeated.

Be strong and don't like him make you feel like you should afraid of your own shadow.

If you can bring forth a harassment case at work from one incident, you can defintely tell the gym someone is harassing you from one email. Bringing it to the police is a precaution. Most likely they can't/won't do anything yet, but it is worth notifying them. With all the crazies out there, you never know who is a weirdo and who is not.

Tree72

My advice is to not contact him or respond to him at all. It may seem harsh, but some people genuinely do not understand the normal boundaries. This wasn't some "Hey, I saw you at the gym. How have you been?" type of e-mail that might be a bit insensitive, but pretty normal. It was clearly inappropriate.

I have been stalked before, and it is not at all fun. It's scary and nerve-wracking. People who engage in that type of behavior often have sociopathic tendencies and do not see others as individuals, but rather as objects. Do not feel embarrassed to talk to the gym management and ask them about their policies and express your concerns. Bring a copy of the e-mail with you if you wish, but you may not even need to show it to them.

Don't feel bad that this upset you; that's a very normal reaction. Talk with friends and family who are close and get their support also.

Wishing you a better tomorrow and strength to get through this situation.

jackal75

OK, my two cents...

I used to go to Planet Fitness before I got a free membership elsewhere. I loved that place.

1.) You should certainly show the email to the staff at the gym. Because this guy already had your email address and you have dated him, they cannot do much but have it on their radar. If he tries to do or say anything to you in the gym, however, the staff would be obligated to stop him especially with the previous history you presented. They can only control what happens on their premises, but are obligated to provide you a safe facility.

2.) While the dictionary definition of harassment may allow for one incident to be enough, the law most likely would require muliple emails before they could intervene. They may or may not take a statement for recording purposes, but won't take any formal action until it is enough to prosecute.

2a.) HOWEVER, I do not believe that it takes multiple contacts for you to get a restraining order. Most states only require you to have a reason to feel unsafe near a person. That said, if you have a restraining order then the gym may have to ask him to leave when you are there due to a legal reason. This also helps establish a history incase he decides to persue you further.

3.) Do have his emails go to a certain folder. If he continues to contact you, you will need the emails with the dates and messages as evidence.

4.) Do not let this stop you from going to the gym. As someone that has now lost 75lbs, I can tell you that I feel much better. You have as much right to be there as anyone else and to feel safe while working out.

superdre

Sorry to hear you're having trouble with this creep:

Here is my advice:

1. Notify the staff and the management at the gym of the unwelcome letter. They need to know this guy is creeping out their customers, and I guarantee you they'll deal with it.

2. Don't respond to the guy at all. If he sends you another email continue to ignore him OR send him an email telling him not to contact you again. Keep and document everything. If he comes up to you in the gym, tell him as sternly as you can not to talk to you. If he persists, get help from the staff.

3. Notify some family or a boyfriend of the problem.

I hope it works out for you. Chances are, he may just leave you alone if you don't respond to the email and ignore him at the gym. You should definitely notify the staff though...

I hope that helps, and I hope you have a better workout than the last one.

thumper44

Since you both had a "history" even though it was 2 dates. Obviously there was something there to go out on 2 dates.
What he sent you was plain wrong. In HIS mind though, he was probably thinking something else .

I would send him back an e-mail, telling him that e-mail was disgusting, and he should not do this to any other ladies, as they would NOT appreciate it. (Some men are stupid and don't know they did something wrong ). Tell him not to contact you again via phone, e-mail or even if he see's you at the gym.

In that same e-mail, tell him you've bcc'd XX people, or XX person (b/f , police officer, manager at the gym), he doesn't need to know who, just the fact that other people have seen HIS e-mail and YOUR reply.

Last, if possible, I would change times that you go, and if you see him coming in at your new time. Then you have another reason to pursue further action of stalking/harassment.

PlanetVelma

I am probably going to go against what everyone is saying. Firstly, he has only sent you an uncomfortable e-mail. Going to the police and yelling harassment is a bit much. The police need more than just one e-mail. You should talk to him directly instead of going to the gym's manager. Let him know that you don't appreciate his comments and to leave you alone. In his mind, he might be thinking he is giving you a compliment. If he begins to follow you around the gym and continues to e-mail you, then take to the next level by mentioning it to the gym's manager. Make sure you have enough evidence to show that he is harassing you.

One time does not make harassment. It has to be repeated.

Be strong and don't like him make you feel like you should afraid of your own shadow.

Merriam-Webster dictionary defines harrassment: "to create an unpleasant or hostile situation for especially by uninvited and unwelcome verbal or physical conduct".

One time is one time to many!!!

I don't agree with sending him an email or telling him you are not interested. Some guys think that if you respond (positively or negatively) that its an invitation (been there done that! LOL). Report his email address as spam or set up a rule so his emails are automatically deleted or sent to a folder. It's been my experience if you don't reply you will never hear from him again.

Also, I also agree that going to the police over one email is a bit much. I wouldn't bother notifying the police unless it becomes a repeated issue, than you have your basis for a restraining order.

sanura

hi!
I know you are probably overwhelmed with responses, but maybe the more you hear it the more supported you'll feel when dealing with this.
Planet Fitness needs to be informed and you need to demand that action be taken, such as walking you to your car, or refunding your money. I would consider it reasonable to change gyms if this guy is a problem (and agreed, he is not normal)
definitely let him know very clear there is to be no further contact. this will be important if further action is required, keep proof of everything, your original email from him, your reply etc.
best of luck!
and one more thing, just because harrassment is common doesn't make it okay, and doesn't mean anyone should tolerate it!

igora_soma

That is creepy. Print it out, take it to the manager and ask what they do in situations like this!

Definitely do this! They need to be aware so that if he does anything further they can help you out. You're going there to be healthy not harrassed. Definitely don't respond to that guy either. What a creep!