Gym Harrassment

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  • SMarie10
    SMarie10 Posts: 956 Member
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    I feel you should approach this situation like you would if something similar happened at work. Immediately respond to the sender that any contact from them is unwanted, and request that you Do Not Be Contacted either via email, US mail, or telephone. Don't be nice, be professional. Go on to state the consequence. "If I receive any further contact, I will report you to the managment of the gym" - Then do it if you hear any more from them. Actions have consequences.

    Remember, no one can take advantage of you without your permission. If you see this person, IGNORE them. Do not let them dictate to you whether you will or will not go to the gym.
  • WarriorJayne
    WarriorJayne Posts: 66
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    Be brave. (and print it out and take it to the gym and inquire with Mngmt.)

    Change your work out time and if you can get a buddy.
    When you walk in, look for the management and know who they are before you start to work out. Then plug into some good music and zone out. Dont worry about the rest of the world.

    If you are confronted... be loud. Make a scene so that Management takes notice.

    And know that everyone here in the boards of MFP have your back.

    Good luck hon!
  • bethanyweathers
    bethanyweathers Posts: 296 Member
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    What a horrible thing to write! I say take it to the manager, see what they can do, if they won't intervene, cancel your membership and go to a gym where there is a zero-tolerance policy on harassment. You don't need to have that negative energy around you when you're trying to be healthy.
  • TNAJackson
    TNAJackson Posts: 686 Member
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    I've been in weird situations like that and its very important you take this seriously. Normal men DON'T behave like that. Repeat...NORMAL MEN DO NOT BEHAVE LIKE THAT.

    To start I would visit the local police station and show them the letter. It doesn't mean you are pressing charges or anything, but it means you are alerting them so in the event something else happens, they have something already on file which gives them more to work with. They can also give you good solid advice on what to watch for in the case this escalates.

    Then if it were me I would most definitely contact the head manager and book an appointment to see/him or her. I would show the letter and state that I wanted staff to keep an extra eye out for my safety, and whenever possible, I want and escort back to my car. If they aren't willing to do that I would tell them you want a full refund on your membership and will take your business elsewhere.

    Lastly I would send an email/ or something in writing that tells the guy in no uncertain terms to stay the hell away. (sometimes its hard to do something that sounds mean, but its important that he completely and wholeheartedly know you aren't interested - if his feelings get hurt, so be it)

    Be safe.

    Completely agree!
  • Samerah12
    Samerah12 Posts: 610 Member
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    Not ok. Absolutely bring it to the managers attention. If it were me I would tell the manager "him or me, who do you want here? Either his membership is revoked or I'm not coming back."
  • N_BEAST_MODE_24_7
    N_BEAST_MODE_24_7 Posts: 120 Member
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    Yea print it out and show it to the staff....use your anger to fuel your workouts! Don't let one *kitten* get you down, wish I was there ill go kick his *kitten* for you, ppl like that pisses me off!! Sorry bout the cussing
  • kmal2t
    kmal2t Posts: 21
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    Unless he's an employee, get over it. Was it classless and inappropriate for him to send you and email about how he was mentally undressing you? Of course, but guys do it constantly at the gym and while girls pretend to hate it they really don't like it when one day it stops.

    My suggestion is becfore blowing something up into a scene, email him back telling him you thought the email was inapprorpiate and you aren't interested and if he continues to email you or to invade your space or bother you at the gym you'll take it up with the management there.

    Or the obvious solution if your bf isn't a wuss..is to have him go with you and if the guy creeps you out he says something to the guy
  • Walt75
    Walt75 Posts: 182 Member
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    Crap!!! Ya should have took me with you. For some reason people tend to keep their mouth shut around me..hmmmm
  • ramius
    ramius Posts: 91
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    My suggestion regardless of Gym policy is to print out the threatening email and take it to the gym management and inform them of the harrassment.. I'm sure they want to offer a safe and secure place to work out in.. and if its get really creapy or you feel threatened always have someone walk you to your car thats on staff there...

    Then I'd create a outlook / email rule -- to delete everything from here on after from that guy.. and if you think it might go any further file for a restraining order then you can just call the cops the next time you see him...

    Always treat these things seriously -- you never know what evil lurkes in others hearts.. and the propensity of mans inhumanity to man (and woman) is evident in the world we live in...

    Other than that.. Great job on getting back to the gym.. I initially was a little self concious about going to the gym as I (wrongly) thought that the gym is just where skinny people go.. and did I want to be the FAT guy there to be stared at that can only do like the bar on the bench press if I'm lucky??... but you know what.. I got over that and determined.. most people don't really care.. and the ones that do.. I don't care what they think anyway.. since I got over that.. I LOVE going to the gym.. its my new second home

    Good luck on your journey and I hope you get past this situation quickly...
  • elid
    elid Posts: 209 Member
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    I'm afraid if I take it to planet fitness they'll just say they can't do anything. I will print these copies and pray that it never happens again.

    If they say they can't do anything, tell them you want your money back for the time remaining on your membership, because you don't feel safe going to their gym.
  • Sarahr73
    Sarahr73 Posts: 454 Member
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    I agree about printing it off and taking it in and also not responding to him. I have never had this exact experience, but I did have an ex that would call and/or text me for about 1 1/2 years after we broke up (even after I told him I had no interest in him even as a friend). At first it was all the time, then it was every once in a while. I finally had to pretend I changed my number to get him to stop. (My phone number is so easy to remember, I didn't really want to change it). So, basically, I can sympathize with you. Don't let it eat at you, but DO be careful when you are at the gym just in case he is a psycho and you never knew about it. And let your current bf and close friends know about this in case he tries anything.
  • deathtaco
    deathtaco Posts: 237
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    Tell him you work out harder instead of staring at people and he might see some results :D
  • tam8374
    tam8374 Posts: 270 Member
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    THAT IS JUST MESSED UP!!!!!!!! I was nervous about going to the gym because of that, but I joined anyway and I enjoy it. I just have to suck it up and be brave.

    You should not have to put up with that. I agree with everyone else, take a copy of the email to the managment. Plus keep a copy in a safe place at home.

    Good Luck!! Please don't let this get you down. He's just one dirtbag. Most men in a gym probably dont even notice what others are doing. Keep your chin up.
  • DeeDeeLHF
    DeeDeeLHF Posts: 2,301 Member
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    If Planet Fitness won't intervene, I'd take it to the police. It's definite harrassment and borderline stalking.

    Agree for the 100th time here!!! Show it to the manager and tell him you plan to go to the police if no action is taken to remove this guy from their membership. If they won't remove him, ask for your money back and go someplace new.

    Sorry that you had to go through that! What an awful ugly thing!!

    (((((hugs)))))
  • gumby101ca
    gumby101ca Posts: 539 Member
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    agreed, report it. and as others have said, keep and eye over your shoulders , you never know !! please keep us updated on the outcome, it could maybe help others that have or could go throu this same thing..
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,231 Member
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    That is all out creepy.
    1. Do not respond. That's what he is trying to get you to do- get a reaction.
    2. Do print out the email and take it to the mgt. Let them know you are feeling harassed at their facility, and they are bound to take notice. If nothing else, it's on the radar.
    3. Do you have a workout buddy you can go with? Safety in numbers....

    Don't let this guy control you...

    This is sound advice. I just want to comment and make a couple other suggestions. :)

    I would not respond because than you're opening up the door for future communications. I would block his email address and just print it out in the event you need to take further legal recourse.

    Do bring it to the attention to management, not sure if they can do anything, but at least you can find out what your options are.

    Stop going to the gym alone, if he's too cowardly to approach you when you're alone he'll definitely stay away if you have someone with you. I would also consider going to the gym at a different time.

    Finally, I would start shopping around for a different gym. If you are under contract with your current gym, maybe they'll allow you to break your contract w/out any penalty (considering the circumstances).
  • LovelySnugs
    LovelySnugs Posts: 389
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    i'm so sorry that had to happen to you - stuff like that (not exes, but general pervs) are the only non-money reason my husband refuses to let me get a gym membership.

    hate to say it, but i almost wish you hadn't posted this and proven him right.

    but i also agree with everyone else - print it, show it, find the guy and tell him off. get a restraining order if you have to. protect yourself and your comfort zone at all costs. OH! AND, now you know when he goes to the gym so you can just start going at your regular time and hopefully not have to worry about that particular creep again. but i'm praying for you. that's just scary to me.


    ETA: congrats on getting back to the gym. it really sucks that the awesomeness had to be marred by the grossness.
  • Dencrossgirl
    Dencrossgirl Posts: 501 Member
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    What a creep, and the others gave you the same advice I would have given you, follow through on all of it.
  • callipygianchronicle
    callipygianchronicle Posts: 811 Member
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    I’m confused…was this e-mail from a PF employee? Or someone who is a member but with whom you had a previous relationship?

    I went on two dates with the guy, so it definitely wasn't a relationship - and no he doesn't work there, he just apparently goes to the same gym as I do now...

    I'm afraid if I take it to planet fitness they'll just say they can't do anything. I will print these copies and pray that it never happens again.

    Gotcha. If he was employee then the gym would have to respond. But, I wouldn’t be so sure that his contacting you does not violate some sort of member policy or terms of use. The territory is a little iffy, simply because he has your e-mail address from a previous contact the two of you had. This is NOT me saying he had any right to watch you while working out or send you an email as a result. I do not blame prey for what predators do to manipulate them. His contact was inappropriate. Period.

    I would make sure to document the contact. I would also inform management at the gym, because there is a strong possibility that his inability to understand boundaries is not/will not be limited to you. I would probably seek out another gym, if I could. and if I could not, I would NOT go to gym on any set or predictable schedule so that my movements could not be easily tracked. I would also get a buddy to start walking with me to and from my car, or asking a trainer to escort me.

    Very sorry you are dealing with this stress and I hope that you remain safe and unbothered by this vulture.
  • Brandie6004
    Brandie6004 Posts: 87 Member
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    That is all out creepy.
    1. Do not respond. That's what he is trying to get you to do- get a reaction.
    2. Do print out the email and take it to the mgt. Let them know you are feeling harassed at their facility, and they are bound to take notice. If nothing else, it's on the radar.
    3. Do you have a workout buddy you can go with? Safety in numbers....

    Don't let this guy control you...

    I totally agree...

    and would like add #4- if there are any more emails, print them all up and take them down to the police station and see what other steps they can suggest to keep yourself safe.

    ...super creepy. Be safe!

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