I'v given up...

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Helice
Helice Posts: 1,075 Member
in Motivation and Support
.... I'v given up..
I mean whats the point in trying to loose weight when it's never going to happen.

I'v been dieting for 2 years now and i haven't yet lost a single pound or a single cm!!

I'v tryed every way of dieting there is.
I'v tryed just increasing the ammount of exercise i do.
I'v tryed eating back my exercised calories..
I'v tryed not eating back my exercise calories..
I'v tryed eating more..
I'v tryed eating less..
I'v tryed eating less and exercising..
I'v tryed eating for the week and then doing one big exercise at the end of the week..
I'v tryed exercising daily..
I'v tryed work out videos..
I'v tryed strength building..
I'v tryed all of these various food diets that you have to follow strictly..
I'v tryed diet pills..
I'v tryed drinking 8 glasses of water a day..
I'v even got a little silly..
I'v tryed lowing my calories..
I'v tryed hiering my calories..
Im currently trying to have a minus amount of net calories a day..

And nothing is ****ing working!!

Eating sensibly isnt working.
Eating dangerously isnt working.

Nothing is working!!

And i get no support from my fionce..

I made him promise to tell me if he see's me loose or gain weight.
And about a week ago he prodded me and told me that i'm getting fat.

At which point i tryed to push myself further..
and am now on this silly diet where i try to make my net amount of calories in the minuses each day...
(where if i eat 1,000 calories, i exercise 1,010).

And it worked a little bit, a tiny little bit, after a week of every day having my calories below 0, i lost 2mm of fat.
2 ****ing mm.

and then i see this P90x thing, and i think maybe that will work....
i'v seen all of these success videos.
i'l give it a go!

unfortunately i dont have a job..
and it's up to my fionce weither i get it or not..

he thought the video looked really good, and he spent a couple of hours with me looking through all the various videos this site did, and we picked out the one we thought it would be best for me to do.. the ChaLEAN Extreme one..

So i added it to the basket, and he said im not getting it for u..
it's gonna cost £55.
if u want an exercise video u can make one urself.

which i guess is a fair point, he just got me so excited thnking i was going to get it, and that there was a chance that i'd loose weight.

and then he pulled out 6 easter eggs and waved them infront of me..
and i was so sad that one lead to another...
and yesterday i ended up eating over 4,000 calories worth of easter eggs ='(
and i only burned like 50 calories off...

but then i think back to him letting me no that he's seen me getting bigger, and i could see by his face that he didn't like it.. but then hes spending like £20 on easter eggs and waving them infront of me...
and he's saying that £55 is too much money to try to counter the fat...

if i diet i loose nothing..
but if i eat a single calorie more i put on weight..
if i burn a single calorie less that day i put on weight..

i just will never loose weight.
and im always going to have to fight to maintain this weight..

i just give up!!
theres nothing i can do ='(
iv tryed everything ='(
«134

Replies

  • BamBam1113
    BamBam1113 Posts: 542 Member
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    It sounds like a lot of your problem is the person you are with unfortunately. If someone loves you, and you are trying to make positive changes within yourself, then there is no other way but for them to be supportive of you. I would seriously look at the relationship and ask yourself if YOU are getting everything out of it that YOU deserve. And you keep with your goal. You will find something that works for you. and when you do, he's gonna wish he hadn't been such a ****!
  • AngelaPowPowPOW
    AngelaPowPowPOW Posts: 293
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    I lost 235 lbs. in my divorce. 235 lbs of negative, childish, stupid weight. It's name was Gary. lol
  • Helice
    Helice Posts: 1,075 Member
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    He does love me, and he really cares about me.

    I ask him why he gives buying me chocolate and kfc, etc..
    when he knows im trying to loose weight..

    and he tells me its because im happy when im eating chocolate
    and that he like's seeing me happy...
  • Peaceoutmfp
    Peaceoutmfp Posts: 41
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    .... I'v given up..
    I mean whats the point in trying to loose weight when it's never going to happen.

    I'v been dieting for 2 years now and i haven't yet lost a single pound or a single cm!!

    I'v tryed every way of dieting there is.
    I'v tryed just increasing the ammount of exercise i do.
    I'v tryed eating back my exercised calories..
    I'v tryed not eating back my exercise calories..
    I'v tryed eating more..
    I'v tryed eating less..
    I'v tryed eating less and exercising..
    I'v tryed eating for the week and then doing one big exercise at the end of the week..
    I'v tryed exercising daily..
    I'v tryed work out videos..
    I'v tryed strength building..
    I'v tryed all of these various food diets that you have to follow strictly..
    I'v tryed diet pills..
    I'v tryed drinking 8 glasses of water a day..
    I'v even got a little silly..
    I'v tryed lowing my calories..
    I'v tryed hiering my calories..
    Im currently trying to have a minus amount of net calories a day..

    And nothing is ****ing working!!

    Eating sensibly isnt working.
    Eating dangerously isnt working.

    Nothing is working!!

    And i get no support from my fionce..

    I made him promise to tell me if he see's me loose or gain weight.
    And about a week ago he prodded me and told me that i'm getting fat.

    At which point i tryed to push myself further..
    and am now on this silly diet where i try to make my net amount of calories in the minuses each day...
    (where if i eat 1,000 calories, i exercise 1,010).

    And it worked a little bit, a tiny little bit, after a week of every day having my calories below 0, i lost 2mm of fat.
    2 ****ing mm.

    and then i see this P90x thing, and i think maybe that will work....
    i'v seen all of these success videos.
    i'l give it a go!

    unfortunately i dont have a job..
    and it's up to my fionce weither i get it or not..

    he thought the video looked really good, and he spent a couple of hours with me looking through all the various videos this site did, and we picked out the one we thought it would be best for me to do.. the ChaLEAN Extreme one..

    So i added it to the basket, and he said im not getting it for u..
    it's gonna cost £55.
    if u want an exercise video u can make one urself.

    which i guess is a fair point, he just got me so excited thnking i was going to get it, and that there was a chance that i'd loose weight.

    and then he pulled out 6 easter eggs and waved them infront of me..
    and i was so sad that one lead to another...
    and yesterday i ended up eating over 4,000 calories worth of easter eggs ='(
    and i only burned like 50 calories off...

    but then i think back to him letting me no that he's seen me getting bigger, and i could see by his face that he didn't like it.. but then hes spending like £20 on easter eggs and waving them infront of me...
    and he's saying that £55 is too much money to try to counter the fat...

    if i diet i loose nothing..
    but if i eat a single calorie more i put on weight..
    if i burn a single calorie less that day i put on weight..

    i just will never loose weight.
    and im always going to have to fight to maintain this weight..

    i just give up!!
    theres nothing i can do ='(
    iv tryed everything ='(

    Oh, my - I hope you don't mean that. One should NEVER give up, even when all looks hopeless (and believe me, I know the feeling).

    Do you know why I'm here? It's because I've tried everything to lose weight over the years (from medication to crash dieting to 12 step programs to specialized medical diets to online support groups to weight watchers) and nothing has worked. I figure that if this site can't help, nothing will....

    I've been where you have been - in fact I'm there right now. I plan to just keep going, though and not give up. From my experience, true winners are people just like you and I who just don't quit (no matter how dark things look).

    Feel free to add me as a friend if you like and please - don't give up!!!
  • staciekins
    staciekins Posts: 453 Member
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    Have you tried just making healthy decisions, portioning, and eating multiple times throughout the day, keeping your deficit at a minimum of 1200 calories AND doing it for a while? I know you said you have been trying all these different things for 2 years BUT have you tried to just stick with the basics for a very long time? Some peoples metabolism is extremely slow, therefore it could take MONTHS before you notice a difference in the scale which can be discouraging, but you could be sabotaging your own weight loss by switching too often. Don't give up just yet!
  • staciekins
    staciekins Posts: 453 Member
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    Sorry, but in addition to my previous post, your deficit should be 1500 because you are a male, not 1200.
  • frostiegurl
    frostiegurl Posts: 708 Member
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    I'm curious, how tall are you, how much do you weigh currently, and how much are you ultimately trying to lose?


    I noticed on your profile that you want a 23 inch waist and 13.5 inch thighs. That seems a little tiny to me, but what do I know when I have 23 inch thighs.
  • Helice
    Helice Posts: 1,075 Member
    Options
    @staciekins

    Iv tryed most of the stuff you just said, im currently doing portioning now lol.
    and i tryed eating multiple times during the day and that had a bad effect on me, i found that if i made it so that ever hour i muched on something that was about 50 calories. If one hour i accidently didn't get a chance to wat something, i'd instantly become starving, and i wouldn't be able to control how much i ate to make up for it..
    and that was alongside having the usual meals..
  • olyrose
    olyrose Posts: 569 Member
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    I've got to agree - you can't thrive in an environment where you have no support and your "support system" is actually trying to sabotage you. That is very unfair, and if he is trying to keep you from losing weight and feeling better about yourself, that might be some control issues on his part.

    About the diet, I have tried different things and given up within a few days if nothing seems to be working. I always expected that I would see results and that my changes would immediately kick in.

    It does take time. Pick a healthy approach (eat the recommended calories for you and add a little exercise) and do this for at least two weeks. If still no results, then change something a little (maybe add more exercise or try eating healthier food). Try this again for at least two weeks. It takes time for the results to kick in. Be patient, and you can do it. If you are consistently doing everything right and get no results, then try to see a doctor and get some recommendations.

    Good luck, and take care of yourself
  • Helice
    Helice Posts: 1,075 Member
    Options
    @ staciekins

    im a female lol..
  • WolffEarl
    WolffEarl Posts: 379 Member
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    Here are some of my thoughts. Yep first of all, giving up is not really an option, after all the entire human race advances through not giving up.
    Secondly, I wondering if you might want to set some other non weight goals. If you are working out quite a bit (and you indicated you are doing that) you should see increases in strength, in endurance, in agility. So how about you measure how much further you can walk/jog/run, how many more push ups, squats, lunges, you can do, how much longer you can hold the plank, whatever. Establish a base line and work up from there.
    Also, waving chocolate eggs in front of you is just cruel, takes a lot of will power to say NO. Might need a sit down with the lad to straighten him out.
    Crash dieting does not work long term, as most feel starved, cranky, exhausted and can't wait to get off it. And then the pounds come back. Best to develop a long term plan to really think about what foods will be your friends long term. And yes, log those calories. Sometimes we fool ourselves, I certainly did:)
  • hroush
    hroush Posts: 2,073 Member
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    You say you've tried all these things, but how long did you try them for? Did you give each one a good month? Were you consistent with them? Some of them I'm not surprised that they didn't work, but I seriously hope you don't continue the trying to be in the negative calorie wise, that's a form of anorexia.

    You need to tell your boyfriend that he is making happy when you first eat the food, but making you more sad in the long run because you are not losing weight.
  • staciekins
    staciekins Posts: 453 Member
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    @ staciekins

    im a female lol..

    Sorry, lol I clicked the wrong profile. Lol.
  • Goal_Seeker_1988
    Goal_Seeker_1988 Posts: 1,619 Member
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    One: I looked @ your profile you're only 18... How long have you been tryin everything and actually tryin it for more than 2 weeks???

    Two: I looked @ your diary, ummm no wonder you're not losin weight: You're eatin way too much and way too much unhealthy foods!

    Last but not least: EAT CLEAN AND EXERCISE!!! Now, that means: throw out the junk food, cut back on a few carbs, stay away from processed foods, eat @ home and not a these fast food places or fancy resturants, and actually stick to a workout plan for more than 2 weeks. Maybe if you stick to it for 90 days you will start seeing a weight reduction, feel better, and fit into smaller clothes.

    Yes, you are 18 and I am 22 I've been down that road, I've given up over and over again. But somehow I was able to lose 75lbs and I was able to keep it off for over 2.5 years now.

    NEVER EVER EVER GIVE UP! If you really want to lose the way and you are determined enough to lose it then stick to exercise and eating sensibly!!!
  • Helice
    Helice Posts: 1,075 Member
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    @ WolffEarl

    I find with this crash diet that im on that i dont get hungry..
    or cranky..
    i mean i miss things like chocolate,
    but thats only because im so use to it being in my face lol...

    infact if i do a day and manage to stay in minuses i end up feeling very happy at the end of the day.
    like yes i did it!
  • Helice
    Helice Posts: 1,075 Member
    Options
    @ hroush

    I understand what ur saying,
    i dont want it to turn into a case of me becoming anerexic.
    and i was scared for a little while because i was so obsessed with exercising that i was worried that maybe i was becoming belemic.

    but i stopped exercising as much and just tryed to start eating healthier instead...
  • animechic23
    animechic23 Posts: 32
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    He does love me, and he really cares about me.

    I ask him why he gives buying me chocolate and kfc, etc..
    when he knows im trying to loose weight..

    and he tells me its because im happy when im eating chocolate
    and that he like's seeing me happy...

    Did you ever think that telling him "yes eating chocolate and kfc etc does make me happy because its good. BUT being happy in my own body, in my own skin. being healthy and happy with myself will make me so much MORE happier in the long run"?
  • frostiegurl
    frostiegurl Posts: 708 Member
    Options
    Just want to ask again (as I think you're avoiding the questions).

    How tall are you and how much do you weigh currently?

    How much are you trying to lose?
  • N_BEAST_MODE_24_7
    N_BEAST_MODE_24_7 Posts: 120 Member
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    You need to crawl out of your little blackout and stop talking bout what you been doing, as I read you consume 4000 calories and only burn off 50 calories....that's not trying! Your bf didn't make you eat it, that was your choice..the blame is on you! If your man isn't supporting your efforts, then why have him around? Stop feeling sorry for yourself and take control of your " LIFE "...when you say you are working out, are you really? I see ppl in the gym that talk more then they workout, but they will tell you that they had a killer workout. 2 years is plenty of time for you to have lost weight, if you were really working out hard and dieting. At this point by you saying you giving up means you are letting everything and everyone around you win. Don't let them win, dig deep and tell us a outstanding sucess story! You can add me as a friend if you like and I coach you..
  • ace175
    ace175 Posts: 518 Member
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    @ WolffEarl

    I find with this crash diet that im on that i dont get hungry..
    or cranky..
    i mean i miss things like chocolate,
    but thats only because im so use to it being in my face lol...

    infact if i do a day and manage to stay in minuses i end up feeling very happy at the end of the day.
    like yes i did it!

    you just said your problem....crash diets. They don't work. Seriously, I've been there, done that, and it was very unsuccessful. This website is to help change your lifestyle...and so far, it has worked a lot better than crash diets. On those diets, you are depriving yourself of foods that you want/like, and eventually you will cave in and binge on them, just like you said with the chocolate (i'm assuming) eggs. That was my problem when I crash dieted. Now that i'm on here, if I want oreos or w/e, instead of having 15 like I usually would, I'll have 2 or 3...this way I'm satisfying my craving, but not going over board. If you are wanting chocolate all the time, but you can't because of your crash diet, you WILL binge on it one day! Stop with the crash dieting!!

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