Am I the only one?

Livi_Loves_Pink

Except she didn’t show embarrassment until I started talking about her technique, but ok. I’ll keep criticizing, judging, and helping people in the gym and you can keep ignoring people.

Wait a minute… I think everyone is judging me now!!!

Perhaps it's just a matter of having a different definition of the word, but I don't see giving a fellow gym member advice on form as judgment. Nor being honest with an overweight friend about her size (I'm assuming you didn't just blurt out "Yeah, you're HUGE!" but told her kindly that yes, she needs to lose).

Casting judgment on a person is making assumptions about their worth as a person, or their right to be in a certain place doing a certain thing. It is putting another human being below yourself. It is a hurtful thing. Offering help when someone needs it is not the same thing.

I've been judged many times for many things, and I suppose a lot of people can bounce back from it, but not everyone has that type of personality. It makes many people feel ostracized and hopeless.

So, I do hope you understand the difference and how it can affect some. Because we all have a right to our own lives and to be comfortable with living. But sadly for a lot of people it's very hard to feel like we do.

End6ame

I'd be very happy if someone helped me with my form! I'd rather that than them looking at me and quietly judging me. Why not help if they can?

I used to swim - a lot. One day a guy came up to me and said, "You work so hard at swimming. It's really great. But, if you improve your form a bit, you will be able to swim much more efficiently." And he proceeded to tell me what to do. I was really appreciative. I hadn't swum in years, so had forgotten basic form.

I often look at guys in the gym - to see what they're doing with the weights. (Ok, I admit, I look at the buff ones more. :-}) That's the main way that I have learned. I have had trainers from time to time, but I guess I haven't found the right one, so I mostly have learned by watching, but certainly not judging!

The gym is often lonely. I think it's great if people talk and help each other out.

That is exactly the approach I take when trying to offer unsolicited help.

ItsCasey

Typically I only approach people when they are in danger of hurting themselves. The girls squat form that I corrected was taught to her by the resident personal trainer, who apparently didn’t care about her knee or back health. The thing about engaging with other people at the gym is you learn more about them and their goals. I have since recommend a different program to this same girl, and she is doing awesome! All because of a little “criticism” on my part.

I don't think there's anything wrong with offering help. As a female, I can see why some women might feel uneasy about someone they've never met approaching them at the gym like that because some men have more honest intentions than others (especially at the gym). But it doesn't take long to figure out if someone is just being helpful or if he's a creep. If it turns out I'm doing something really wrong and the guy knows what he's talking about, then of course I'd be grateful to receive the help. If it turns out he just wants to look at my *kitten* while I'm doing squats, then I'm going to tell him to get lost. No harm, no foul.

FearAnLoathing

Im more suprised people are shocked when they notice the jugemental comments and people on this site.
I have been here since the begining of jan and in 4 months I see it every time i look and the message board.
From peoples spelling,to if they eat clean or not,what they log as exercise,weather or not they drink diet soda ect ect
For a place that is supposed to be so judgment free its actually one of the most judgmental websites I have been on.(with exception to some parenting websites)

End6ame

Im more suprised people are shocked when they notice the jugemental comments and people on this site.
I have been here since the begining of jan and in 4 months I see it every time i look and the message board.
From peoples spelling,to if they eat clean or not,what they log as exercise,weather or not they drink diet soda ect ect
For a place that is supposed to be so judgment free its actually one of the most judgmental websites I have been on.(with exception to some parenting websites)

Aside from the spelling, people should be called out on these things. This is a health and fitness community where most people’s goals are to lose body fat and these things have a negative impact on it. What are people supposed to say about it these sort of things? “Hey, nice work on your double quarter-ponder, fries and a coke. Keep up the good work”

FearAnLoathing

Im more suprised people are shocked when they notice the jugemental comments and people on this site.
I have been here since the begining of jan and in 4 months I see it every time i look and the message board.
From peoples spelling,to if they eat clean or not,what they log as exercise,weather or not they drink diet soda ect ect
For a place that is supposed to be so judgment free its actually one of the most judgmental websites I have been on.(with exception to some parenting websites)

Aside from the spelling, people should be called out on these things. This is a health and fitness community where most people’s goals are to lose body fat and these things have a negative impact on it. What are people supposed to say about it these sort of things? “Hey, nice work on your double quarter-ponder, fries and a coke. Keep up the good work”

Did I say that?No yet I had someone say I should have my kids taken away for feeding them mac an cheese,and not everyone supports one style of eating.Now you are just twisting my words.WHAT I was talking about is people are judging people on here for using cleaning as exercise,or not beliving in low carb or drinking diet soda I never said anything about big macs go back read what I said.AND NO ONE SHOULD be judged for using cleaning as exercise ,how is that negative to peoples health?
Or not being paleo or being paleo or not being vegan or being vegan. I see those judgments made on this site daily.
Totally diffrent that what your saying.What I am saying is everyone finds there own way to getting healthy,and some act like their way is the ONLY way

namrettik

I *love* seeing overweight people at the gym; I'm so proud of them!

123456654321

I guess I'm missing all these posts? Either way, don't worry about it. Do you like you've been doing and block everyone else out.

123456654321

Im more suprised people are shocked when they notice the jugemental comments and people on this site.
I have been here since the begining of jan and in 4 months I see it every time i look and the message board.
From peoples spelling,to if they eat clean or not,what they log as exercise,weather or not they drink diet soda ect ect
For a place that is supposed to be so judgment free its actually one of the most judgmental websites I have been on.(with exception to some parenting websites)

Aside from the spelling, people should be called out on these things. This is a health and fitness community where most people’s goals are to lose body fat and these things have a negative impact on it. What are people supposed to say about it these sort of things? “Hey, nice work on your double quarter-ponder, fries and a coke. Keep up the good work”

Did I say that?No yet I had someone say I should have my kids taken away for feeding them mac an cheese,and not everyone supports one style of eating.Now you are just twisting my words.WHAT I was talking about is people are judging people on here for using cleaning as exercise,or not beliving in low carb or drinking diet soda I never said anything about big macs go back read what I said.AND NO ONE SHOULD be judged for using cleaning as exercise ,how is that negative to peoples health?
Or not being paleo or being paleo or not being vegan or being vegan. I see those judgments made on this site daily.
Totally diffrent that what your saying.What I am saying is everyone finds there own way to getting healthy,and some act like their way is the ONLY way

Meh, this is the internet.

a_freeman

After reading through this thread, I'm thinking I need to get some newer t-shirts for the gym. I'd hate to think people are talking

FearAnLoathing

Im more suprised people are shocked when they notice the jugemental comments and people on this site.
I have been here since the begining of jan and in 4 months I see it every time i look and the message board.
From peoples spelling,to if they eat clean or not,what they log as exercise,weather or not they drink diet soda ect ect
For a place that is supposed to be so judgment free its actually one of the most judgmental websites I have been on.(with exception to some parenting websites)

Aside from the spelling, people should be called out on these things. This is a health and fitness community where most people’s goals are to lose body fat and these things have a negative impact on it. What are people supposed to say about it these sort of things? “Hey, nice work on your double quarter-ponder, fries and a coke. Keep up the good work”

Did I say that?No yet I had someone say I should have my kids taken away for feeding them mac an cheese,and not everyone supports one style of eating.Now you are just twisting my words.WHAT I was talking about is people are judging people on here for using cleaning as exercise,or not beliving in low carb or drinking diet soda I never said anything about big macs go back read what I said.AND NO ONE SHOULD be judged for using cleaning as exercise ,how is that negative to peoples health?
Or not being paleo or being paleo or not being vegan or being vegan. I see those judgments made on this site daily.
Totally diffrent that what your saying.What I am saying is everyone finds there own way to getting healthy,and some act like their way is the ONLY way

Meh, this is the internet.

yes I know,and in all honesty I dont really care.I was suprised that people are suprised about the amount of judging that goes on here when its pretty much an everyday thing.Its human nature to judge others that will never change

foodforfuel

Making fun of other people is just wrong, but that's my own opinion. I read a thread last night that just sickened me, about "changes in my thinking", and I hope to goodness that I never lose enough weight to view people from that state of mind. In case you wonder what thread I'm talking about, I just bumped it.

End6ame

Im more suprised people are shocked when they notice the jugemental comments and people on this site.
I have been here since the begining of jan and in 4 months I see it every time i look and the message board.
From peoples spelling,to if they eat clean or not,what they log as exercise,weather or not they drink diet soda ect ect
For a place that is supposed to be so judgment free its actually one of the most judgmental websites I have been on.(with exception to some parenting websites)

Aside from the spelling, people should be called out on these things. This is a health and fitness community where most people’s goals are to lose body fat and these things have a negative impact on it. What are people supposed to say about it these sort of things? “Hey, nice work on your double quarter-ponder, fries and a coke. Keep up the good work”

Did I say that?No yet I had someone say I should have my kids taken away for feeding them mac an cheese,and not everyone supports one style of eating.Now you are just twisting my words.WHAT I was talking about is people are judging people on here for using cleaning as exercise,or not beliving in low carb or drinking diet soda I never said anything about big macs go back read what I said.AND NO ONE SHOULD be judged for using cleaning as exercise ,how is that negative to peoples health?
Or not being paleo or being paleo or not being vegan or being vegan. I see those judgments made on this site daily.
Totally diffrent that what your saying.What I am saying is everyone finds there own way to getting healthy,and some act like their way is the ONLY way

Wow… I think you should reread your post, because you left out almost all of those details, and left it up to the reader to determine what exactly you were referring to. So maybe you should have wrapped a little context around your comments instead of freaking out that I didn’t somehow read your thoughts.

Within the context you are refereeing to, I do agree with you.