It's my life not yours

Sarahr73

Ok, so first my back story and then my rant....
So, I recently joined Curves (about 3 weeks ago) and I love it. I know I'm not fat, I just have some extra from letting myself get out of shape and not doing anything about it. I want to lose the extra I have gained and then get toned and stay healthy. I didn't want a gym because of all the people that have more weight to lose than me looking at me like I'm a freak for wanting to exercise, so I figured Curves would have women that maybe have the same goals as me.
Well, about a week after I joined (I also did a week trial, so two weeks after I had been there) the manager came up to me and had a talk with me. She said some other members were a little concerned that maybe I have an eating disorder or a body image disorder. Really?! It caught me offgaurd and made me mad. I know, as a manager, it is her job to make sure people aren't causing harm to their bodies so I'm not mad at her. But, I am mad at whoever thought it was ok to think that it is right to assume I have a disorder. I explained to the manager why I was exercising and she completely understood and has been very helpful in offering tips on how to get a better workout. But, it still irks me, especially since I know who the women are that thought they were doing me a favor by saying those things about me. They are the ones that give me dirty looks when I am working hard and not socializing the entire time while I am there. They won't say hi to me unless I say it first and even then it seems forced. They are also a little older than me, about 35-45 in age. I would have thought the snide comments would not come from someone who is supposed to be more mature than me.
Ok, I'm done now. Thanks for reading. I feel a little better.

crystal10584

jealousy.

hoosiermama100

I'd actually be very shocked because since when is exercise and healthy eating only for weight loss? I mean EVERYONE should exercise. That is so weird because at my gym most of the people are actually very fit and thin, the overweight people are more of the minority.

LilBrat71

I agree... jealousy for sure! If it were me, I would be following you around so I could see what you do to stay in shape

ANewton401

Hey pretty lady, pshhh!! Whatever! Dont you let these women get to you. I have the same kind of people at my gym. Some of these woman may be jealous because, as ive learned, you have an excellent personality and the body to match. You just focus on you because at the end of the day thats who you have to live with.

Twylyght

I get stuff like that all the time!! I'm not fat, I know that, but I'm also not in shape. I have a very skinny, but wide frame. I just wanted to lose 15 lbs altogether and get into shape (I've lost 5 so far!) Everytime I tell someone, only my closest friends of course, they look at me and before they even ask I have to say "no, I don't think I'm fat, I just want to get into shape! I know that I used to have an eating disorder, but does that mean when I want to get into shape I'm all the sudden going to spiral out of control and go down to my lowest weight again? No, I don't think so!! My husband is really the only person who believes in me and supports me thoroughly throughout this process. And thank you for letting me rant too lol!!

beastmode_kitty

I used to go to Curves and felt really uncomfortable there as I was like the youngest one there and they were all these older people that were social amongst themselves. I felt that Curves wasn't helping so I quit. Now I go to the Y on my llunch break and don't feel uncomfortable at all!

crystal_sapphire

my mom goes there and isn't overweight by any means. that's so silly how you're being treated

rmhand

I would think a gym would be the place to go. I see tons of healthy people maintaining their bodies. its not like people go to a gym temporarily just to lose weight. they keep going to stay healthy.

I tell people I work out to stay healthy and fight all the bad things that are in my genes and currently affecting my parents and grand-parents. I mean your doctor tells you to exercise!

Spayrroe

I had similar problems with Curves. I joined with a friend of mine from work, and since it was really close to work we were supposed to go every day after work together. We had a bad week where one of us couldn't make it one day, and the other couldn't make it the next, so we didn't go. After that I started going by myself since I was paying for the membership. I'm not a terribly social person, so I'd go and just run through the circuit and generally keep to myself. I'd respond if someone spoke to me, and smile and exchange polite conversation with people, but only when I was first going in or on my way out. Like you said, you're there to exercise, not socialize. Very quickly, it seemed that the 'regulars' for the time I went that had been there before me decided they didn't like me. They were curt and rude to me, would refuse to move out of my way and block my access to the machines. It was terrible. I guess since there was a bunch of them, and only one of me, the manager felt that I was the more acceptable loss and didn't do anything to intercede. It was horrible. I decided I'd never join a Curves ever again, and now have found a much better fitness facility to belong to.

daddyzgurl

Being a chick who is "skinny-fat", I completely understand. I weigh just under 130 pounds and have a smaller frame. But at 165 I was still overweight for a 5'4 small framed woman. Before MFP I used to go to weight watchers meetings. I may have been the lightest person there by 75-90 pounds and couldn't make any friends. . Hold your ground- if you want to be slim and toned then keep your eye on your goal and ignore all the haters!

christy_frank

WOW! I don't see what is wrong with exercising and how can any one critisize you for doing so??? It is recommended for overall health (not just weight loss) to get 30 minutes of cardio 3 times / week. These women obviously need something/someone to focus on because they are so unhealthy & unhappy!

alexbowser

That's a shame. Being skinny and being in shape aren't the same. If you want to get into better shape you should be encouraged.

Ynnep1000

Aaaargh, I had the same problem at Curves a few years ago and I stopped going altogether. The funny thing is that now I could really use it but I'm just not cool with that place! The women who went there were all quite cliquey and I never felt comfortable. At Christmas they had this table set up and everybody brought baking and goodies and the table was literally 2 feet away from the machines. So there would be this cluster of women eating chocolate and cookies while I was trying to work out, weird.

vickuli

Regardless, everyone needs some kinds of workout, even if you are fit and in shape. That is what we need to workout, to stay healthy. So Keep up the "good work out" and don't let them discouage you. You know what you need. If they were there for their health they would know it not about "dieting" it is about being healthy and staying fit.

kirstinkrueger

JEALOOOOOOOOOOOOOUS! I am going through the same thing, except with "family". one of them started a rumor i was on drugs to lose weight ::rolls eyes:: people talk when they see others doing better than them to make themselves feel better. Don't let it get to you. Kill them with kidness, smile and say hello everytime you are in there, let them see how hard you work out and in months when you look even more amazing and they havent changed, laugh!

besides, they are right, working out isn't just for weightloss, heck most of the girls at my gym are skinny (i hate them haha but i want to be them one day) keep up the good work girl!

Is there another curves near you, you can go to instead and just get away from those ladies? I tried their one week free pass and i was the youngest one there and no one would talk to me, they all had their cliques, which was ok, cause its a gym not a social hour, but i felt judged, so i joined amfam.

Atlantique

You may be correct that these busybodies at the gym had malicious intent.

However, keep in mind that they may have meant well and genuinely been concerned. Odd that they went to the manager, instead of speaking to you directly, but their idea of 'healthy weight' and yours may be very, very different. It's possible they were actually worried.

It's also possible though that they prefer their gym to be full of other people who have no real interest in working out and would rather use it as a meeting place for gossip and drama. So you sort of shook it up a bit by actually working out!

wonnder1

Curves always seemed like a bad idea to me. All too often you get a gaggle of women talking (oops, working out) and then the snide comments etc start.

That's why I finally bucked up and joined a co-ed gym. I was scared at first, thought everyone would be looking at me, but got over it pretty quick.

I LOVE my Y!

sarahsmom1

I am one who can tell people off with out them knowing it. You should go up to them and introduce yourself and tell them how wonderful it is to exercise in an establishment that does not judge others. Tell them you were recommended to this particular curves because of their friendliness and understanding. Tell them when you get there you see the hard work everyone is doing and that this is the perfect place to tone your body after you lost 100 pounds. (truth or lie who cares don't even know if you had to lose or not, but either do they). Tell them you have never been much of a talker when you exercise because you don't like to disturb others. When your done bid them a fond ado

Ariyasnow1

I too get weird looks and comments, especially at work whenever diet, exercise, and overall health is brought up in casual conversation. Just because I want to make sure I get the right amount of calories, exercise, and eat healthy everyone always looks astonished and says "why!?! You don't need to lose weight! Your sooo skinny. You should be eating a donut!" I hate it. It makes me feel like a freak when I have to 'defend myself'. There is absolutely nothing wrong with maintaining a proper diet and exercise in order to have better health, tone up, and maintain a good weight for my personal height/frame that I worked hard at getting over the last few years.

Point is: it took me a while to realize that I need to look after ME and only me. Who cares what others think! "Your body, your temple" as the girls from 'Skinny *****es' say. And if you feel like you’re not getting the motivational support you think you should be getting there, then maybe think about switching to a different curves, or group if possible (not sure how curves works). Either way, you go girl!

Ariyasnow1

people talk when they see others doing better than them to make themselves feel better. Don't let it get to you. Kill them with kidness, smile and say hello everytime you are in there, let them see how hard you work out and in months when you look even more amazing and they havent changed, laugh!

Amen!