Disgusted

ashleynicoleb

I've noticed it as well. It's definitely not like like EVERYONE on here is judgmental and snarky in their responses on the forums, but there are a lot more than necessary. I really don't see the purpose of it since it isn't productive in any way and is only a source of negative energy which I know we all could do without.

Redbella

I am sorry if you have felt that there are only negative people on here. I for one feel very blessed in the friends I have made on this site and the support that has been given to me by complete strangers. They don't know me but yet they go out of their way to say encouraging words and to offer support when I falter. Please don't let the few ruin what is really a wonderful tool. If you need a positive friend I would love to be there for you!

barneygoogle

You want annoying? It's all the new-age sigs like "life is what you make it" or "believe in yourself and you will make the world a better place"

I hate that stuff.

Besides, oatmeal sucks. Enough said.
:smokin:

mursey

I understand how you could feel that way, maybe address the particular person or topic when you feel like someone's being judgmental. I can't help but wonder if you saw a comment or two I posted the other day that you might think is judgmental. There are always 2 sides of a story though.

For example, I may have written something with a frustrated tone on a post recently after I sent a personal message to someone who asked for help on a post- I thought long and hard about how to best stress the most important, helpful points of my answer, tried to be careful to write things in a way that they would know I am supporting them and not coming down on them but wanting to share things I learned that helped me a long time ago. . . . I take all this time thinking about my phrasing and what things to leave out etc. . and after all that their basic answer to my message was kind of like "uh thanks, whatever." (Which led me to think this person doesn't actually want any help and doesn't want to change at all but wasted a lot of other people's time and energy.)

I'm just saying of some people sound not-supportive there might be something else behind that. Sometimes it's frustrating to see how much misinformation people are spreading about diet and exercise too and maybe people come off judgmental when they are really just frustrated.

lvnspoonful

Unfortunately, posts like yours generally have very little effect on the behavior of others on the board. Either you end up preaching to the choir, or some unhappy person will come at you with the very kind of negative comment you are referring to in the first place.

You just need to distance yourself from these people, and not take what they say to heart. One of the great things about the friendships on this site is that you can discontinue toxic ones without the worry of seeing that person IRL. Hold close only those people you find to be supportive - and believe me, there are a good many supportive peeps on the MFP!:drinker:

Very true indeed - I am surprised I haven't really received a negative comment on here yet.. lol All of the people I am friends with on here are very supportive!

jlsAhava

I've seen a few 'not so nice' posts - but actually I've been very impressed overall with how friendly and welcoming this site is!!

When I compare it to some other forums I have been on in the past this one is amazingly positive! Obviously you always get the odd 'disagreement' and people not accepting that their way isn't the only way but overall I find MFP a lovely place to be!

Totally agree... have had a wonderful experience here so far.

(..... creators of MFP: I accept paypal, cheques, postal orders, even cash)

LOL!:laugh:

lvnspoonful

I understand how you could feel that way, maybe address the particular person or topic when you feel like someone's being judgmental. I can't help but wonder if you saw a comment or two I posted the other day that you might think is judgmental. There are always 2 sides of a story though.

For example, I may have written something with a frustrated tone on a post recently after I sent a personal message to someone who asked for help on a post- I thought long and hard about how to best stress the most important, helpful points of my answer, tried to be careful to write things in a way that they would know I am supporting them and not coming down on them but wanting to share things I learned that helped me a long time ago. . . . I take all this time thinking about my phrasing and what things to leave out etc. . and after all that their basic answer to my message was kind of like "uh thanks, whatever." (Which led me to think this person doesn't actually want any help and doesn't want to change at all but wasted a lot of other people's time and energy.)

I'm just saying of some people sound not-supportive there might be something else behind that. Sometimes it's frustrating to see how much misinformation people are spreading about diet and exercise too and maybe people come off judgmental when they are really just frustrated.

I was not talking about anyone in particular - and definitely not any of my friends on here...

anubis609

It's a bit misguided to believe that any online forum is going to have a Utopian exchange of ideas. Some express their opinion in hopes of validating their own misguided sense of direction, and [some] feel that it is considered backlash when opposing opinions do not fit their own. If no one is willing to apply or accept new knowledge, then the topic becomes the proverbial abuse of an equine corpse, and then new threads about complaints, of said backlash, become a new exchange of opposing or validating opinions...and the cycle continues.

No one is perfect. Accepting that fact from all sides and not reacting to it negatively seems to create more of a harmony among communities. Riling up controversy just creates dissension.

lvnspoonful

It's a bit misguided to believe that any online forum is going to have a Utopian exchange of ideas. Some express their opinion in hopes of validating their own misguided sense of direction, and [some] feel that it is considered backlash when opposing opinions do not fit their own. If no one is willing to apply or accept new knowledge, then the topic becomes the proverbial abuse of an equine corpse, and then new threads about complaints, of said backlash, become a new exchange of opposing or validating opinions...and the cycle continues.

No one is perfect. Accepting that fact from all sides and not reacting to it negatively seems to create more of a harmony among communities. Riling up controversy just creates dissension.

Wow - your response made me feel really stupid! lol :laugh: :blushing:

I agree no one is perfect and negativity breeds negativity....I am not trying to rile up controversy...just expressing how I felt...

Thanks!!!

kenzietea

I've seen a few 'not so nice' posts - but actually I've been very impressed overall with how friendly and welcoming this site is!!

When I compare it to some other forums I have been on in the past this one is amazingly positive! Obviously you always get the odd 'disagreement' and people not accepting that their way isn't the only way but overall I find MFP a lovely place to be!

(..... creators of MFP: I accept paypal, cheques, postal orders, even cash)

I agree. I have seem some nasty posts too, but also some very friendly and helpful ones!

jenbk2

I agree. We are all on the same journey.

EDesq

We (Human Beings) have to make hundreds of"judgments" on a weekly basis. So we need to stop saying "don't judge someone"; making judgments about people, situations...are what keep us safe, physically, mentally, emotionally... Now, what we have no right to do is Judge someone to Hell for their beliefs, but we can critique them, and some people do this harsher than others. EXAMPLE: I would Never "Support" someone who says that they lost 25 lbs. on a 500 calorie per day eating plan. Not only would I not support them, I would probably tell why, in no uncertain terms.

So, whenever anyone puts something out in CYBER SPACE, DO NOT expect everyone to agree with you, AND expect people to have an OPINION about what they disagree about. Keep in mind, there is Always a way to DE-Escalate a disagreement...Do NOT Respond, move on, take what You think is Good Advice and Leave the rest. In some cases a hard critique can help, it gives a different perspective. Anyway, respect the fact that people have opinions that may differ from yours and they are NOT always/or don't know how to be diplomatic when giving it OR the receiver MAY be too sensitive. When someone Posts, they are asking for Opinions.

anubis609

It's a bit misguided to believe that any online forum is going to have a Utopian exchange of ideas. Some express their opinion in hopes of validating their own misguided sense of direction, and [some] feel that it is considered backlash when opposing opinions do not fit their own. If no one is willing to apply or accept new knowledge, then the topic becomes the proverbial abuse of an equine corpse, and then new threads about complaints, of said backlash, become a new exchange of opposing or validating opinions...and the cycle continues.

No one is perfect. Accepting that fact from all sides and not reacting to it negatively seems to create more of a harmony among communities. Riling up controversy just creates dissension.

Wow - your response made me feel really stupid! lol :laugh: :blushing:

I agree no one is perfect and negativity breeds negativity....I am not trying to rile up controversy...just expressing how I felt...

Thanks!!!

Totally unintentional to make you feel that way. But it was a prime example of how one could express a neutrally different opinion without getting personal. Totally understandable. :happy:

lil_missfit

Honey....just scroll your screen down past the negativity:)) I don' t even give it a second look....seriously!! I just keep scrolling if there is something I don't like...I do the same thing on facebook....I keep it movin! You will wear yourself out waiting on others' to change or see things as you do:)) You can inspire perhaps...but you can not change folks....or control their behavior .....the only people' s behavior we can control is our own:)) Just keep shining by setting a good example....that's all you can do.....this is a GREAT , life changing, encouraging site....separate the shaft from the wheat and focus on the positive:)) Good luck!!!

lil_missfit

We (Human Beings) have to make hundreds of"judgments" on a weekly basis. So we need to stop saying "don't judge someone"; making judgments about people, situations...are what keep us safe, physically, mentally, emotionally... Now, what we have no right to do is Judge someone to Hell for their beliefs, but we can critique them, and some people do this harsher than others. EXAMPLE: I would Never "Support" someone who says that they lost 25 lbs. on a 500 calorie per day eating plan. Not only would I not support them, I would probably tell why, in no uncertain terms.

So, whenever anyone puts something out in CYBER SPACE, DO NOT expect everyone to agree with you, AND expect people to have an OPINION about what they disagree about. Keep in mind, there is Always a way to DE-Escalate a disagreement...Do NOT Respond, move on, take what You think is Good Advice and Leave the rest. In some cases a hard critique can help, it gives a different perspective. Anyway, respect the fact that people have opinions that may differ from yours and they are NOT always/or don't know how to be diplomatic when giving it OR the receiver MAY be too sensitive. When someone Posts, they are asking for Opinions.

*like* nicely put:))

thecanface

Maybe some of us are just hungry and crabby. Thank you for the reminder

that's true! sometimes i find myself being negative when i am hungry

bizco

Agreed, everyone on here seems to be judgemental!

I've been on this site for several months and I can count on one hand the number of people who are rude and judgemental. Most everyone I see in the forum are very supportive and offer great advice and tips. That said, I have seen one person today who is very rude and offers nothing but insults and worthless comments. She/he is a very sad, insecure and unkind person.

got2go2concerts

I don't see many negative posts at all... you must be looking in some not so great places!! A LOT OF THE PEOPLE ON HERE ARE VERY NICE AND ENCOURAGING....

I wish you luck in finding good supporting friends on this site... add me if you like!

And good luck with your weight loss..

I agree, since I have been on here (only couple of wees) I haven't run into any of this negativity???? I am sure it exsists, I just haven't experienced it.

Grimmerick

Stay positive

redhead91

Agreed, everyone on here seems to be judgemental!

I've been on this site for several months and I can count on one hand the number of people who are rude and judgemental. Most everyone I see in the forum are very supportive and offer great advice and tips. That said, I have seen one person today who is very rude and offers nothing but insults and worthless comments. She/he is a very sad, insecure and unkind person.

I shouldn't have used the blanket statement 'everyone' but it does seem that most people will judge if you don't do things 'their way'. Anyone who has questions about excercise calories, diet pills, medifast, low carb diets gets so much backlash. Everyone has their own way of doing things, so I don't see why it's necessary to be so harsh to someone who does things differently. I've been here about a week and 80% of the posts I've read have someone who is overly rude. And thank you for poking at my insecurity. I'm working on it, but I really don't need anymore harsh comments from you. Thank you