Why do people insist ...?

Options
2»

Replies

  • cenafan
    cenafan Posts: 398 Member
    Options
    I have a friend...she is a size 0 naturally. she can't gain weight. she would love to be about a 6, but no matter what she eats, she can't gain. (I know :grumble: if only) People CONSTANTLY come up to her and tell her she's too skinny. Or that she looks sick or anorexic. No one would dare say that I was too fat or sick or unhealthy. that is not acceptable. But for some reason it's "ok" to skinny people. It upsets her horribly. People don't think. Ignore them.
  • NoExcuseTina
    NoExcuseTina Posts: 506 Member
    Options
    same reason people say congrats to someone that just graduated college or military boot camp...but do not say anything to the college drop out (unless you are the parent)
  • MissKMN
    MissKMN Posts: 119
    Options
    You know...can I just say that the last time I took on a weightloss journey and was a NORMAL weight, I was still in high school. I went from 170lbs to 128lbs, which is a PERFECTLY normal weight for someone 5'6" and I was doing it the healthy way by exercising and eating right. Instead of saying, good job, way to beat childhood obesity, they (the school) put me in counseling.

    That's right, COUNSELING, because they felt I was losing too much weight. I was a size 6/8...normal. They thought I was becoming anorexic. Or bulemic. What did the counselor say? She ignored my protestations that I was being healthy and told me that it was okay to eat ice cream. Have a cookie. It won't kill you but losing weight WILL.

    Thinking back about it, I'm pretty pissed. Because I listened, and I ate ice cream and cookies. Where did it get me? To 270lbs.

    Thanks a LOT. It has taken me 12 years of yo-yo diets since then to finally understand health again, and what is my motivation? That I did it before, heathily. This time, I refuse to listen to people who literally do NOT know what they are talking about.
  • JennS19
    JennS19 Posts: 642 Member
    Options
    I think people are supporting you when they say its paying off... I appreciate the comments simply because when I look in teh mirror I don't see the progress.. when I stare at the numbers Im still not convinced... When someone compliments my efforts its then that I realize that "hey, maybe it really is paying off"

    I completely agree with this. I like hearing the comments because I don't actually see a difference myself. Yes I can tell a difference in my clothes and how they fit but I don't see how much I have changed like they do. TO me it's inspiring that people are noticing how I'm chaing my life for the better. And it encourages me to keep going. :smile:
  • rileysowner
    rileysowner Posts: 8,239 Member
    Options
    No idea, but people have been telling me than since 20 pounds ago when I was just at the very bottom of obese. I think 1) People have no idea what a healthy weight is because the vast majority of people in the developed world are at least overweight and usually obese. 2) People do care for you and don't want you to get sick by getting too thin. With all the coverage of eating disorders out there that is not really a surprise, but since #1 is the case, they can't really judge what is a healthy weight or not. 3) It is because losing weight is generally seen as a good thing while gaining weight it seen as a bad thing culturally. People won't generally comment on a bad habit/development because they are scared you will get defensive/angry with them. They do feel comfortable commenting on a good thing, because the feeling you will get defensive/angry with them for it is less. 4) I think for a good number of people your success in losing weight is either consciously or unconsciously threatening to them because they know they need to lose it as well. For some it is an encouragement, but not for all. I have had a very large number of people telling me to stop losing for a long time. I now just choose to ignore it and tell them the truth (albeit not the whole truth) that I have increased the calories I am eating. I am doing that because I am within 10 pounds of my goal, and in the long run this goal may only be temporary as I do want to work on body proportions and building muscle. I think when I reach my weight goal, I will likely have a bunch of work to do in that area, but the nutritional requirements of that will be quite different from working at losing weight.

    I'm sure there are other reasons, but these are the ones that come to my mind. Overall, as I said, I will say thank-you to the positive comments, and ignore the rest. This is my health we are talking about, and I have done the research to make the decisions I have made; they for the most part have not.

Categories