some things just shouldn't be glorified....or rewarded...

JellyJaks

Oh yeah, forgot to mention we had a boy who was excused from school a couple of week ago because he had to have a paternity test. He's in the 4th grade. I think sex education is becoming an on the job training.
Anyone like me.....think there's too many hormones in our food?
Girls having periods at 8 and 9....boys taking paternity tests at 10? Makes you wonder.

Holy wow :noway: I had a friend in high school who had two children by the time she was 15. Her son was born when she was 11 and all I could think was "dude I was still playing with Barbies when I was 11 and boys had cooties! WTF were you doing having sex?!"

peepocheck

My mother was a teen mom. She had my brother at 17, me 13 mths later, my sister at 20 and my baby brother at 22. Then she said she figured out what was causing it and stopped. I knew she didn't want me. So when I married I was determined that my children would NEVER think I didn't love or want them. So I waited 6 years to make sure we could live together. At that point I had my child. He better know I wanted him and to my dying day will love him.
Mother taught me fast that I did NOT want to get pregnant. To prevent it I refused to endulge until I was safely married....not engaged...but fully married.
No saint......just knew my mind!

peepocheck

Still married 42 1/2 years later.

JellyJaks

Still married 42 1/2 years later.

That's awesome! My parents were terrible. I won't bore you with details but the way I was treated growing up was horrible. I too swore to myself that my children would never go ONE SINGLE DAY without knowing that I love them more than life itself. Even when they mess up they will know that they can come to me and I'll do what I can to make it better.

I'm on my second go around marriage wise but we've been together for 4 years and married for almost 3

sassylilmama

Based on the issues that these 'children' had growing up, getting pregnant, they will project them onto their children. It's a cycle. Do you ever wonder if your children will be ashamed of you for having them at a young age and not being able to give them everything they could desire? Even if all their doing is comparing them to their friends parents who are a little more better off? You're going to preach to your children about teen pregnancy when you were a statistic yourself. I don't know how you do it. I admire those who continue and accomplish their goals/dreams but children are not a hampster you get from the pet store. Everyone has their own opinion based on their upbringing and the debate will never end.

And I know that was like 5 different points. ha

Our children know the truth already about how young we were. We are raising them to be good people who do not judge and are always helpful and kind to others. For these reasons I have no concerns they will ever be ashamed. And we give them all that they need and what they want within reason. And we have done this on our own without our parents help. Even kids born into rich families with older parents compare themselves to other kids. As far as "preaching when we are a statistic"- they will know that while we love them and would never want to not have them we would change the timing. They will know the struggles that come with being a teen parent and be given the facts on not going down the same road.

ellisor1230

I agree also that being a good parent has nothing to do with age. My stepdaughter's mother was 17 when she had her. She would drop Ariana off with my husband's grandparents for weeks at a time. Ariana slept on the floor, never got her medication (for hyperthyroidism), and wasn't fed. I had my son at 17, and never asked for any help with him. I never dropped him off with anyone. He went everywhere with me. My husband's grandmother called me crying when Gage was 6 months old. She said she needed to apologize to me for thinking that I would make her raise Gage the way she had to raise Ariana. Some people can handle motherhood (or fatherhood) as a teen, some can't.

My mother had my half sister at 33.....my sister moved in with her dad last September because my mom is so horrible to her. My mom kicked me out when I got pregnant. She sent my younger brother to live with me when he was only 16 because 'she couldn't handle him anymore'.

Why is it that teen moms are the only ones who get crucified?

olyrose

Based on the issues that these 'children' had growing up, getting pregnant, they will project them onto their children. It's a cycle. Do you ever wonder if your children will be ashamed of you for having them at a young age and not being able to give them everything they could desire? Even if all their doing is comparing them to their friends parents who are a little more better off? You're going to preach to your children about teen pregnancy when you were a statistic yourself. I don't know how you do it. I admire those who continue and accomplish their goals/dreams but children are not a hampster you get from the pet store. Everyone has their own opinion based on their upbringing and the debate will never end.

And I know that was like 5 different points. ha

Our children know the truth already about how young we were. We are raising them to be good people who do not judge and are always helpful and kind to others. For these reasons I have no concerns they will ever be ashamed. And we give them all that they need and what they want within reason. And we have done this on our own without our parents help. Even kids born into rich families with older parents compare themselves to other kids. As far as "preaching when we are a statistic"- they will know that while we love them and would never want to not have them we would change the timing. They will know the struggles that come with being a teen parent and be given the facts on not going down the same road.

Completely agree! As I mentioned before, I was a teen mom. I didn't have any "issues" growing up. I came from a good home, but I had a momentary lack of judgment when I was 17. I was a good student, on the debate team, with a supportive family. That is why I like shows like these, because they try to demystify some of the stereotypes of teen moms. I know I my experience isn't what the majority of teen moms have had, but the truth is that there are a lot of different types of girls that become pregnant at that age.

I talk to my son honestly about how hard it was, but he has everything he could want - name brand clothing, ipod touch, smart phone, wii, xbox 360, etc. And that is because I intentionally worked to not become a stereotype. His friends are more likely to judge the older parents than the younger parents, actually. And it's not "preaching when I was a stereotype," it's being honest about how my decisions at 17 weren't the best ones, and raising a son who improves over the person I was. And it's only a "cycle" if you allow it to be.

olyrose

I agree also that being a good parent has nothing to do with age. My stepdaughter's mother was 17 when she had her. She would drop Ariana off with my husband's grandparents for weeks at a time. Ariana slept on the floor, never got her medication (for hyperthyroidism), and wasn't fed. I had my son at 17, and never asked for any help with him. I never dropped him off with anyone. He went everywhere with me. My husband's grandmother called me crying when Gage was 6 months old. She said she needed to apologize to me for thinking that I would make her raise Gage the way she had to raise Ariana. Some people can handle motherhood (or fatherhood) as a teen, some can't.

My mother had my half sister at 33.....my sister moved in with her dad last September because my mom is so horrible to her. My mom kicked me out when I got pregnant. She sent my younger brother to live with me when he was only 16 because 'she couldn't handle him anymore'.

Why is it that teen moms are the only ones who get crucified?

Agree! I admit that being a teen mom presents it's own set of challenges, and many teen moms don't have the capabilities to improve their situations or properly parent, but there are challenges that come with life and parenting no matter your age. It's about who you are as a person, not the age you are.