highly aggrivated

Momcharisma88

I've been sitting at this weight for a week and a half now, working my butt off, feeling exhausted all the time. then once my daughter goes to bed i dont even get a smidge of me time because then i have to study for my test and clean the house because i exercise so much i dont have the damn time during the day in between cooking and taking care of my daughter and exercises and so i figure fine its been 1 day shy of a week since i measured maybe this will give me a boost.... IVE GAINED A DAMN INCH AND A HALF in my gut!!!!!!!!!!! I'm sick of this. I feel no prettier now than i did when i was 10 lbs heavier when i started here. I want to quit and go back to eating good food like pizza and ice cream. WHY IS THIS NOT WORKING FOR ME? Im sick of my house being a mess. I'm sick of never having one damn second for myself. I'm sick of the blisters and sores on my feet. I'm tired of crying because im working so hard for nothing. Im tired of eating "good" food when i know there are foods out there that taste a hell of a lot better. I'm tired of never feeling like i even have the energy to keep up with my own damn daughter all day. I binged today. Which yea i know ISNT going to help anything. I had been running 50 mins a day with at least one 45 min walk but then i had bumped my walks to twice a day and 1 hr each. Im eating the food im told i should eat... which i hate almost as much as exercise. Ive lost all motivation, i had been going ok strong for about 3 weeks and its just over now. I dont feel any prettier. the scale says im not any prettier. The tape measure def says im getting uglier. All i want for once in my damn life is to feel friggen pretty. I had put my damn heart and soul into this. It woulda been nice to at least see a damn 1/2lb this week. Sorry idk i feel like giving up and need somewhere to vent. I was going to buy my a new shirt today. To congradulat the fact that i hadnt given up. But then i measured myself. And nothing changed except my gut getting bigger. so now im not going to. theres no reason too. Ill look just as ugly in a new shirt as i do all my old shirts.

vim_n_vigor

Your weight is already low, your body may not be able to lose more weight in a healthy way. An extra half inch does not make you uglier or prettier - that is what is inside you. You need to get some joy and happiness.

andreae13

You are DEFINITELY not eating enough!! You're body is probably in starvation mode and that's why you're so tired all the time. If you're putting in hard workouts you need to eat more. There are tons of discussions about this that you may want to check out.

CatchMom11

You weigh 109.8 lbs and you're telling me that you don't feel pretty? Correct me if I read the information in your signature wrong.

I would kill to weigh 110 lbs again. If that is what you do in fact weigh, you should be thankful, and I mean this in the nicest way possible. I'm not coming down on you at all. I remember when I did weigh 110 lbs and I thought I was fat. Though, now that I really am fat, I realized that I had body image issues then and have learned from it.

staciekins

I just looked at your diary and one thing I see you are consistent on is that you are not eating enough. Women NEED at least 1200 cals/day to function healthily. Thats 1200 NET. So, if you eat 1200, then burn 400, your net is only 800, which is way too low. You have to eat at least 90% of those exercise cals back, otherwise you aren't giving your body the nutrients and fuel it needs to burn off those foods. Instead, it goes into a starvation mode and stores all incoming food as fat. I know it sounds like a contradiction, but you HAVE to eat a NET of 1200 cals.

staciekins

You are already small, so you need to tone up if anything by eating more protein and doing more core building exercises.

myvenus

I agree with MandaP9870 (hope I got that right), you need to work on your body image issue within yourself. you obviously are thin enough, dang girl!! and I don't mean that in a rude way at all either...I bet your body is great!

SueInAz

Unless you are REALLY short, 110 pounds is pretty light. I'm 5'3" and 130 pounds. I'd like to be 120 and know I'll never make it back to 110. Frankly, I don't think I'd want to try because I'd be too thin.

I'm saying this next part with love and concern. If you feel you're "ugly" at 110 pounds, I think your issues extend beyond your inability to lose a few pounds. You honestly need to take a hard look at your motivation, and at yourself in the mirror. Losing 5 pounds is not going to make you "pretty". Really, it isn't. Right now you think it will, but it won't. You'll get to 105 and decide you still aren't pretty enough and try to make 100. I've seen it happen before, and I've been there myself.

If you don't love yourself at 110, you won't love yourself at 105, either. Trust me on this.

TourThePast

Why are you punishing your body like this? You are only 5lb off your target weight, the last few pounds are going to take a while to go, there's no rush. As your goal is to look toned all over, I suggest some work with weights, rather than just running and walking.

Start eating a bit more, take a rest day between your training sessions, or you won't get the benefit of it. Having a day off every other day will free up some time to take control of your life, you sound totally overwhelmed by it all.

Good luck!

EDesq

I've been sitting at this weight for a week and a half now, working my butt off, feeling exhausted all the time. then once my daughter goes to bed i dont even get a smidge of me time because then i have to study for my test and clean the house because i exercise so much i dont have the damn time during the day in between cooking and taking care of my daughter and exercises and so i figure fine its been 1 day shy of a week since i measured maybe this will give me a boost.... IVE GAINED A DAMN INCH AND A HALF in my gut!!!!!!!!!!! I'm sick of this. I feel no prettier now than i did when i was 10 lbs heavier when i started here. I want to quit and go back to eating good food like pizza and ice cream. WHY IS THIS NOT WORKING FOR ME? Im sick of my house being a mess. I'm sick of never having one damn second for myself. I'm sick of the blisters and sores on my feet. I'm tired of crying because im working so hard for nothing. Im tired of eating "good" food when i know there are foods out there that taste a hell of a lot better. I'm tired of never feeling like i even have the energy to keep up with my own damn daughter all day. I binged today. Which yea i know ISNT going to help anything. I had been running 50 mins a day with at least one 45 min walk but then i had bumped my walks to twice a day and 1 hr each. Im eating the food im told i should eat... which i hate almost as much as exercise. Ive lost all motivation, i had been going ok strong for about 3 weeks and its just over now. I dont feel any prettier. the scale says im not any prettier. The tape measure def says im getting uglier. All i want for once in my damn life is to feel friggen pretty. I had put my damn heart and soul into this. It woulda been nice to at least see a damn 1/2lb this week. Sorry idk i feel like giving up and need somewhere to vent. I was going to buy my a new shirt today. To congradulat the fact that i hadnt given up. But then i measured myself. And nothing changed except my gut getting bigger. so now im not going to. theres no reason too. Ill look just as ugly in a new shirt as i do all my old shirts.

This Journey is hard! I don't know how much weight you need to lose or if you are trying to change your eating habits so you can be healthier, but I will say, don't give up if you have legitimate goals. It is just amazing how 1 POUND on a Scale or 1 inch on a measuring tape can change our whole day or whole perspective. We work our butt off for a week and that makes us FEEL GREAT, because we have been DOING the RIGHT Thing for health purposes, we even look better to ourselves. THEN we get on the scale and in a few minutes our whole world is turned upside down because it does not read 1 pound less than the last time. We are Hurt, dis-heartened, discouraged, angry...BUT I say, DON'T QUIT, DON'T Give Up and DON'T Give In! OK, so you ate emotionally, so what, water under the bridge...NOW get Back on that horse and RIDE (Get back on your Plan) and Next week NO MATTER what the scale or tape says Your Day won't change, because you have learned, gained some insight into yourself about this challenge>>>Do NOT allow it to Control who YOU ARE, BE Who YOU want to BE NOW, CHANGE Starts from the INSIDE then OUT.

Momcharisma88

just to clarify im not the skinny chick that say oh whoa is me. i used to be heavy heavy all my life. I am 5 foot 2. Ive worked so hard to get to this point. And nothing looks better. My mom died when i was 17. She was ery obese. I lost my world. the only person that ever knew i was pretty and then at 17 i had to step into the real world with my father telling me no one will love me and girls when i was in hs making fun of me so ive worked so hard to try to accomplish pretty and i cant seem to have it. the only reason im so upset is because i worked really hard to get here and nothing seems to help. like i was told the other day while walking "exercise doesnt make pretty" and its obviously true. i just want a damn flat stomach and still have a life. and no i dont know why i hate myself. but im sick of waking up and feeling this way. and way sicker that i work my butt off and not seeing a difference. im sorry i jjust need to vent because im tired of crying about it on my lonesome

chevy88grl

I looked at your food diary and sweetie, you are NOT eating enough. Not even close. Your body can't function on as little calories as you're taking in AND you're working out too. Have you checked to see what your BMR is? That's where you need to start. Your BMR is the minimum amount of calories your body needs in a day just to live. If you don't eat enough - your body goes into starvation mode. You start to store fat vs burning it (hence the gain in inches). Your body will start to eat muscle in order to fuel itself. The key to weight loss isn't just eating right and working out. It is making sure you're fueling your body too. I know that eating more goes against everything we've all learned about weight loss, but you HAVE to eat enough for your body to live. And honestly? You aren't doing it right now. You're tired because your body is starving to death. It isn't able to function on such a small amount of calories and then you go and burn 300 more working out.

You MUST eat! You must! That doesn't mean eat garbage - but, you have to feed your body. Protein is a must - lean meats like chicken, fish or lean cuts of pork. Veggies. Fruits. Drink water.

Momcharisma88

im not a huge meat fan so ive baically been stickin to fruits and veggies where i can but i fill up on them so fast that i cant make myself eat when im not hungry

Jnhbaer

Hi: As a nurse, I see three things wrong that are working against you. First you are not eating enough, second, you are not sleeping. People do not understand that sleep is key to balance in your body. Third, you may need to work on toning your body and not try to loose any more weight. I know you may not want to hear that but after having kids our bodies change. Try to keep positive a negative and aggrivated attitude will only make it worse. Do something nice for yourself. I remember studying and not taking care of me, but if you take care of yourself first, it will be easier to study.

WarmDontBurn

Seriously...eat more...You need higher calorie good food!

To only have a few pounds left to lose you should be upping your calories towards maintenance. I only had about 8lbs to lose and upped my calories and started to lose again, I have since lost 2.5lbs where before when I was sticking to 1200-1300 I was stuck.
When you don't have much to lose then you should not be at the bare minimum let alone below it.

Good Luck and trust the results others have had.

Edited: You say that you want lean muscle yet you are doing more damage then good.

EDesq

I also just looked at your diary. I noticed that you drank 48 oz of beer. With as little as you are eating, the Body will burn ALCOHOL FIRST for Fuel. So, instead of burning off fat, your Body jumped on that beer and used it FIRST. Keep that in Mind relative o wt loss., alcohol slows down wt loss because it is burned first.

lpm3925

I don’t want to play arm chair psychologist with you, but I’m going to point some things out to you.

1) A healthy weight, as per any BMI chart for a 5’2” women is between 105-140 pounds. You are at the LOW end of that scale. If you dip below 105 you will be classified as unhealthy.

2) Malnourished individuals can suffer from a distended stomach, which results in the size increase you mentioned. This is a sign of anorexia.

3) You have made it abundantly clear that you:

a.Have some serious anger about your size and physical appearance.
b.Relate the issue to your mother passing away (I’m very sorry you lost her at an early age). She’s gone so you can’t be beautiful now (paraphrasing your words)
c.Have issues with your father’s treatment of you due to your size and appearance.
i.Your father’s phrase of, “no one will love you” actually falls into a very classifiable form of controlling abuse. I will not delve deeper, but I’d not be surprised if the abuse was beyond verbal. I hope not.

Many people here have said it, and so am I. You need to seek the help of a qualified counselor, not an internet forum.

Momcharisma88

I also just looked at your diary. I noticed that you drank 48 oz of beer. With as little as you are eating, the Body will burn ALCOHOL FIRST for Fuel. So, instead of burning off fat, your Body jumped on that beer and used it FIRST. Keep that in Mind relative o wt loss., alcohol slows down wt loss because it is burned first.

its because this week ive given up and i care for few mins and then decide not to care anymore. I dont know how im ever going to be able to meet the requirements to fill up for my cals. I eat until im full. Am i supposed to eat untill im stuffeD?

WarmDontBurn

Good reads : http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/9433-expectations

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/6556-the-answers-to-the-questions

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/777-why-is-starvation-mode-so-bad

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/10589-for-those-confused-or-questioning-eating-your-exercise-calo

RachVR6

*hugs* It sounds like you need to take a break from focusing so much on food, and focus a little on you, doll. :flowerforyou:

Dawntodusk

just to clarify im not the skinny chick that say oh whoa is me. i used to be heavy heavy all my life. I am 5 foot 2. Ive worked so hard to get to this point. And nothing looks better. My mom died when i was 17. She was ery obese. I lost my world. the only person that ever knew i was pretty and then at 17 i had to step into the real world with my father telling me no one will love me and girls when i was in hs making fun of me so ive worked so hard to try to accomplish pretty and i cant seem to have it. the only reason im so upset is because i worked really hard to get here and nothing seems to help. like i was told the other day while walking "exercise doesnt make pretty" and its obviously true. i just want a damn flat stomach and still have a life. and no i dont know why i hate myself. but im sick of waking up and feeling this way. and way sicker that i work my butt off and not seeing a difference. im sorry i jjust need to vent because im tired of crying about it on my lonesome

My daughter is 5'2 and weights 108, and she is skinny, skinny, skinny. So,if you are 109.8, you are skinny! Stop punishing yourself. Like the others, I think you may have a body image problem. Get some professional help.

bbeck8176

I understand you want to lose weight and all, but you shouldn't worry so much about how pretty you are. You're setting a good example for your daughter by exercising. You should also set a good example by respecting yourself. Stop worrying about being so pretty all the time. That's not good for her or you. Eat a piece of pizza if you want. It's ok. You're just gonna exercise it off. Don't deprive yourself of some of the good things every now and then. Cheer up. You've obviously lost weight since whenever ago. Keep it going. It's good for you anyways. And good for your daughter. Remember, your daughter will always think your pretty. So screw those other people.

Bridgetc140

I agree with the others......you need to speak with a professional. You're fat??? I'm 4'11" and 110 and KNOW that I'm tiny. The only reason I want to lose "weight" is to achieve a 6 pack. So, I am 3 inches shorter and weigh more than you and I know that I am by no means fat which means you definitely are not. Please seek help.

nachisdoll

I havnt read everyones answers to your post but as a personal trainer and as a friend who has been overweight my whole life...ok maybe only 23 of my 27 years....you should do more toning less cardio....do 40-60 min of cardio a day and the rest of the time tone! crunches, core training, look up pilates core training on youtube....youll find great workouts. Try adding calories with peanut butter, heavier milk in your shakes etc. you dont need to eat meat but make sure your getting in enough protein. xoxo

outersoul

Before you work on your body, fix your mind. The rest will follow.

liftingbro

109 pounds on a 4'11" woman would be a very good weight and you are 3 inches taller than that. You're problem isn't so much fat as it probably is lack of muscle. You, yourself said you don't like meat that much. If you don't keep protein up you will not build muscle and if you don't eat enough calories you won't buld muscle.

At your height and weight you should try eating about 1500 calories per day. Do that, keep the protein and calories up and lift some weights and you will actually look much leaner. If you have no muscle mass it won't matter how much weight you lose, you still won't be happy with the way you look.

charityateet

Hi - I'm sorry you are feeling this way. Just because you are small doesn't mean that you aren't in your own head like most of us here. Beating yourself up, feeling very isolated and alone. Hang in there.

As far as your food journal - I'm going to say, like the others, you do need to eat more......no - not untill you are absolutley stuffed - but just eat more through the day. Sounds wierd, but the more you eat, the more you burn, the more you eat, the hungrier you are through the day, your body is like a furnace - burn burn burn - you aren't giving it enough to burn....so it's got some embers in there - basically it's just shutting down.

Try to eat more often, you don't like meat - do protien shakes, peanutbutter, eggs......

3-4oo cals bfast
2-3oo cals snack
3-4oo cals lunch
2-3oo cals snack
4-5oo cals dinner

Adjust according to your needs - but honey, working out as hard as you are.......EAT! Stick to the middle of the calorie range in here and I guarantee you will feel better! You will start to sleep better, your mind will be in a better place.

Hugs.

Improvised

I'm 5'2 and would be SOOOOOO happy to be at the weight you are now.

CatchMom11

just to clarify im not the skinny chick that say oh whoa is me. i used to be heavy heavy all my life. I am 5 foot 2. Ive worked so hard to get to this point. And nothing looks better. My mom died when i was 17. She was ery obese. I lost my world. the only person that ever knew i was pretty and then at 17 i had to step into the real world with my father telling me no one will love me and girls when i was in hs making fun of me so ive worked so hard to try to accomplish pretty and i cant seem to have it. the only reason im so upset is because i worked really hard to get here and nothing seems to help. like i was told the other day while walking "exercise doesnt make pretty" and its obviously true. i just want a damn flat stomach and still have a life. and no i dont know why i hate myself. but im sick of waking up and feeling this way. and way sicker that i work my butt off and not seeing a difference. im sorry i jjust need to vent because im tired of crying about it on my lonesome

Well, if you're 5'2" then the ideal weight range for you is between 110 and 120 lbs. I'm 5'2" and that's what I'm shooting for. If you want to see more results, I would probably recommend toning instead of losing weight.

countrygirl_717

When you feel like nobody loves you, and thinks you're pretty, remember this:
God made YOU. God loves YOU! Just the way you are. You don't have to be perfect, you just have to be you. Don't be so hard on yourself. Remember who you are, the strong, healthy woman that God created you to be.
*Hugs!*

cmmull67

Ok, from a guy POV, you look great. You are a pretty young woman, with a nice figure, at least from what the pictures show. I think more of the issue is stress. You are trying to do too much at once. You look great as you are now. Focus more on school and your beautiful baby girl. Maybe once you de-stress about the food and your no-improvement-needed body image, you'll feel better, and things will improve. Seriously. For 4 years, stress and depression weighed on me, made me get out of whack. Once I refocused, and got happy with me again, I got back on the fitness path. Refocus, and some of he stress will melt away, I promise.