Rectal Glaucoma

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  • JellyJaks
    JellyJaks Posts: 589 Member
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    I'm a SAHM so unfortunately I don't get to call into work no matter how ****ty I feel. Loving reading these excuses though. Retinal glaucoma is AWESOME :laugh:
  • UpToAnyCool
    UpToAnyCool Posts: 1,673
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    I once worked for a very large global hospitality chain and had a cocktail waitress's boyfriend called her in dead. HR wouldn't let me fire her when she tried to come back to work. And she was notorious for calling in... she is still employed there btw.

    Okay, so how did she explain that one??? :laugh:

    So like, did she call you via the ouija board? :laugh: :noway:
  • TK266
    TK266 Posts: 3,689 Member
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    best one ever given to me via voice mail left on my work number at 1:30 am in the morning "uhhh, i am not feeling well ... I think I ate something .... so uhhhh i wont be in tomorrow can you tell the boss"

    strange thing was I could here the DJ in the back ground, people dancing and his girlfriend saying "get off the phone and drink"


    I forwarded it to the boss to help the jack *kitten*. :devil:
  • cdngirl71
    cdngirl71 Posts: 2,707 Member
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    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: these are hilarious. One of my mechanics called in sick because he had hard bowel movements, ha ha ha, I said to him, dude just say you are sick, TMI, not what I need to hear. :laugh: :laugh: He also mentioned to keep it in confidence, ya I just put he was sick on the form.
  • JEK717
    JEK717 Posts: 1,497
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    An old co-worker of my dads called off many times....his excuses.

    1) I have gout.(which he didn't)
    2) My wife is pregnant.(even if it is only the 2 week)
    3) Hunting season has started.
    4) Need food so i have to go hunting.
    5) My wife has gout.
    6) New baby....(mind you this is a whole MONTH after the baby was born and he lived with his non working parents).
    7) I dont have a car(sure even if i live right next door)
    8) My back aches (three weeks in a row.)

    His favorite though was the "I have gout".
  • JellyJaks
    JellyJaks Posts: 589 Member
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    best one ever given to me via voice mail left on my work number at 1:30 am in the morning "uhhh, i am not feeling well ... I think I ate something .... so uhhhh i wont be in tomorrow can you tell the boss"

    strange thing was I could here the DJ in the back ground, people dancing and his girlfriend saying "get off the phone and drink"


    I forwarded it to the boss to help the jack *kitten*. :devil:

    EPIC! I totally would have done the same thing :laugh:
  • JellyJaks
    JellyJaks Posts: 589 Member
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    I just told my husband about the retinal glaucoma excuse and he said he actually had someone call in to him once and say "I can't come to work today. I was decapitated last night" :noway: He told him "you'd better be here in an hour of you're fired" Guess he was able to find his head since he came in :laugh:
  • mccorml
    mccorml Posts: 622 Member
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    I just told my husband about the retinal glaucoma excuse and he said he actually had someone call in to him once and say "I can't come to work today. I was decapitated last night" :noway: He told him "you'd better be here in an hour of you're fired" Guess he was able to find his head since he came in :laugh:

    lol i think you mean rectal glaucoma excuse haha
    retinal glaucoma is a real thing i think
  • MzBug
    MzBug Posts: 2,173 Member
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    LOL My guy mentioned this morning that he might have rectal glaucoma tomorrow... better than cranial rectal inversion.
  • BigBeaver
    BigBeaver Posts: 858 Member
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    LOL My guy mentioned this morning that he might have rectal glaucoma tomorrow... better than cranial rectal inversion.

    I always thought it was called inverted cranial rectosis, but I guess it is the same thing
  • JellyJaks
    JellyJaks Posts: 589 Member
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    I just told my husband about the retinal glaucoma excuse and he said he actually had someone call in to him once and say "I can't come to work today. I was decapitated last night" :noway: He told him "you'd better be here in an hour of you're fired" Guess he was able to find his head since he came in :laugh:

    lol i think you mean rectal glaucoma excuse haha
    retinal glaucoma is a real thing i think

    :laugh: :laugh: Why yes that is what I meant. One day I will learn to proofread before I reply to things :blushing:
  • Vpirwannab
    Vpirwannab Posts: 22
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    Explosive diarrhea is a good one. Nobody really wants to ask any questions.
  • codymham
    codymham Posts: 11
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    I always say it's something emotional, like a break up or anxiety attack. I like to keep my employer on edge about my mental state. For one thing it makes the workplace really interesting and for another, they're too scared to fire me.

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