I choose to stay fat!

MistressV

I noticed you said that eating what you choose to..is the only thing you have Total control over.

It sounds like there are other things in your life that you dont feel in control of. Perhaps that is something you should look into further?

I know I feel like that myself. I feel pushed around by my boss and job and havent got the confidence or the wits to do anything about it.

And I often feel pressured when "dieting" to deprive myself of food I love and then i go overboard and totally overindulge. Its a weird yoyo mental game I seem to go through. Its almost like Im rebelling because with everything else that sucks in my life...I should be able to have some control and enjoy food.

But...Ive started just watching the calories here and eating what I like til it fills up. Figuring out little strategies and reading Eat this not that books for more ideas. And Working out with my Mom when we both can.

Its a turtles pace but slow and steady wins the race. We just lose sight of the finish line sometimes lol

knurtslk

annpat I could have written that blog. I echo everything you said. I am caregiver to an elderly parent who lives with us and have a disabled husband and I have no time to really focus on "me" and until there is a change in the family dynamic there will be no change in "me." The most I can hope for at this time is to try to maintain where I am now and not gain a lot more until I have time for me. The plate of my life is so full right now that I can't focus what's on my dinner plate.

EpiGaiaRepens

Awwwws.... I think your post is awesome! It inspires me to continue with my current weigth loss struggles (the dreaded last ten to 15!)...and to take control. We do have the power! Its so amazing to think about that! But I also don't want you hating on yourself.... I think it's so important to love yourself, to know you deserve to be healthy and happy and that you are worth all the work that goes into it!!! (I am talking to myself here, too!!!).... I had my best success with MFP when I was all positive about it. I was happy to log in my lunch and see it was only 200 cals. I went for walks and smelled flowers and would post on FB about the sunshine or the birds. I would go for bike rides and revel in the outdoors. I would rejoice in the yumminess of fruit..... and I would feel good about my life. I would opt for a hike over a movie, I'd take a day to go surfing instead of going out to eat, I'd actually ENJOY CLEANING MY HOUSE BECAUSE I KNEW I WAS KILLING CALORIES and i'd be sure to put on killer music. Even when I drive, I play music and "dance" along. And all those things have added up to life being hella more fun than it was before. *POOF* Almost forty pounds lighter and I had fun doing it!!!

But when I'm hating on myself and being harsh and angry, its not so much fun to do any of those things. I don't want to eat anything until i eat too much bad stuff. I don't sleep well. So I'm just sayin....love yourself and love your life and make every right choice something to really celebrate. Eventually those right choices become habits....and then you're making a huge change!

Oh, and I wanted to state my agreement with folks who say "baby steps".... I focused solely on calorie intake for about four months and that was when I lost the bulk of my weight. I didn't stress the exercise- sure I would exercise so I could eat pizza or sometimes just cuz I wanted to, but my baby step was learning how to live on 1200 cals a day (give or take). Then when I added in exercise again, it didn't seem like that much of a struggle to work out and eat "low calorie" at the same time....

Anyways, I hope that you find your happy place where you are in the posicore spiral of ever increasing awesomeness!!! Because if you find that place and you get in the groove...it don't feel like work. It feels like a party!!!!

SamiePuente

It's almost as if I wrote that myself...

SydKaty

I didn't read all the responses. Sometimes you'll fall off for one meal, but don't let that sabotage the entire day.
I know will power is the WORST thing in my life. For example, today I stopped at the store to get snacks for the girls to have after I pick them up at school. Silly me picked up my FAVORITE crackers and ended up eating two individual packages to a whopping tune of 300+ calories.
Feeling so guilty, I jumped on the treadmill for a second round...
Also, you have to make it fun. If you dread it, it just doesn't seem like motivate to keep up with it. Do you have someone to do it with you? I found a coworker who is willing to go walking with me every day at lunch. Its really nice to have the company to talk to.

annpat28

I want to thank everyone for the positive support. I am going to try to take small steps. Tomorrow morning i am back to the gym. Once i get to the gym i really enjoy it, its just getting there that i have a hard time making myself. Maybe if i work out i will be less likely to blow my calories because i work so hard at the gym. Once again, i really appreciate the support. Since i do have control over this maybe i will have some sucess.

annpat28

Thanks

lindak71

While you're in this funk you should at least try not to GAIN weight.

BigBoneSista

I have been thinking about this alot. I need to lose alot of weight, about 80 lbs. I will do great for a week or so, exercising and eating under my calories for the day. Then comes the weekend, It is like i completely forget or ignore what i need to do. So i eat everything wrong, dont exercise and usually it lasts about 5 days and i have undone everything i did. I have not exercised in 10 days and i have not watched what i eat. I usually lay in bed at night and think about how i am going to lose weight starting the next day. A couple of nights ago i was doing the same thing and while i was doing that i got to thinking. My weight is the one thing i have total control over. No one else can make me fat, no one else can make me lose weight. It is really very simple, i know how to lose weight. I need to exercise every day and stay under my calories. But instead of doing this i choose to eat the wrong things, drink too much soda, sit on my butt in front of the tv. Even this morning i woke up and immediately opened a can of Dr. Pepper. I have come to realize that until i figure out how to change my thinking and take control of my body and mind I CHOOSE TO BE FAT! I really dislike the person that i am and yet i know that i am the only one who can change it. I dont know how this will all end up, i know that i need to make some major changes. I just dont know how to make myself do it. I dont want anyone to feel sorry for me, i dont feel sorry for myself. I am very angry with myself for my lack of self control. Sorry for the vent..

Getting angry is the 1st step to the change. You are at the beginning of your journey...maybe not as fast pace as you would like but it has started. You might not start your full journey for another 6 months or a year from now and thats ok. This is a process. Alot of us fell off millions of times but eventually we got so fed up that we said no more....no more starting and never seeing it till the end. You will get to that point. Just keep trying...every time you get in your own way just brush it off and start all over again.

moyafigura

You are so not alone with these struggles. I have a lot of the same thoughts and get mad at my lack of control. I would start some kind of diet and after a week give up and a month later, still at the same weight, think to myself "If only you stuck to it you would have been a few pounds lighter by now...". I love MFP, so far recording how many calories i eat helps me not over eat during the day. I hope to train myself to constantly make the right desicions and be aware of how much i eat.
Good luck to you!