I was asked if I am PREGNANT! (insert sad face here)

SarahDavs

I have PCOS and it can cause women to gain in their stomach disproportionately. Which has happened to me. I have terrible social anxiety now after constantly being asked if I was pregnant, or how far along I was, even some people arguing with me after I had told them that no, I am not pregnant... "are you sure? You look like you are!" it's humiliating. I used to be able to laugh it off, but it got to a point where I just assumed everyone every where that saw me thought i was pregnant. I feel ashamed and embarrassed all the time by my physique. When I go out now I wear shape wear that is tight and uncomfortable, but it holds in my stomach enough to lift my confidence. It sucks. That is why I'm working so hard to lose weight now. But even when I do get down in size, my stomach will still be bigger then it should be because of how PCOS has affected my body. It's not fun. I hate that men can have "beer belly'" and nobody thinks twice, but if a younger woman has a larger stomach she is assumed to be pregnant.

ctpeace

I didn't even like that question when I was pregnant! I used to tell people "lucky for you, yes, otherwise you'd look pretty rude right now" every once in a while!

Lauramh31

i worked in retail last year and a really stupid woman (regular) came in and asked if i was pregnant. i waited till the other lady in line left, and i looked at the woman and said "nope. just fat. thanks for reminding me." and she just looked at me dumbfounded and you could tell she was embarrassed.
i gave her a stern look and said "never ask another woman that. ESPECIALLY if you don't even know them"
she said "sorry", looked down and left the store.

i gotta say, i think i made her feel worse than she made me feel! lol

Haha love it! I have said something similar to people - it depends on who it is. I've been asked by two random middle aged strangers and I said "nope, just fat. thanks." and gave a b*tchy glare. It shut them up fast and that was that. Hopefully my reaction was enough to prevent them from ever asking anyone else! Another time it was an old woman and she was just like a sweet old grandma asking when I was due so I just said "oh, i'm not pregnant" and was nice about it bc I think she meant well.
I thought everyone knew not to ask, but apparently not! :noway: I've also been asked (or been w/ a friend who was asked) if I wanted to sit on buses or subways - presumably they thought I was preggers and were trying to be nice! I just say no thanks and smile (and cringe inside).

It is true about the posture though - I definitely have a bad habit of sticking my hips forward when standing and that juts your belly out, making it rounder as someone said. And hey, maybe it's a compliment as we aren't so huge that we're obviously fat, we are small enough that it could just be pregnancy :laugh:

Lauramh31

I didn't even like that question when I was pregnant! I used to tell people "lucky for you, yes, otherwise you'd look pretty rude right now" every once in a while!

:laugh: I've known people that were pregnant but I wasn't sure so I would just be like "what's new with you?" And then she'd say "oh, I'm pregnant!" Much better than asking directly

katekross

Aww.. I've been there. People suck.

meeper123

What a ( explisit)!!! Yes not this time around ( I lost a lot of weight then gained some back) but when I was at my heaviest I got asked that about 4 times I cried everytime until I had enough and got to working out and feeling better. I can understand the anger but use it to better yourself and once the weight is off keep it that way i have no idea why but its much harder for me to lose it this time around!!

AlongCame_Molly

A stiff palm to the teeth would be my response of choice. Just sayin.

schondell

How is it rude to ask a women if she is pregnant? Just say "No."

If a grown woman has a large stomach who you've never seen before anyone would assume that they were pregnant..

tomomatic

When I first started I'd lost ten pounds and was feeling really good, then some jerk who has been annoying me for years told me I was fat I didn't get mad or depressed I worked harder. Who was he to determine how i feel? So I made it a goal to one day make eat his words. Now I'm down 70 lbs and I see him drooling when I walk by, but to bad for him... He's already ruined his chances of me ever even talking to him. Who's laughing now!

^^^ Hero.

TheWinman

A stiff palm to the teeth would be my response of choice. Just sayin.

this ^^^^^^^

nalia08

Well, I gained about 15 lbs in the last few months and had someone ask me this last Sunday. Asked me if I was expecting. I said so and they said, well you sure did get "thick".

staplebug

Oh my gosh, that guy is so completely oblivious. Makes me wonder if he is married or in a relationship...After spending time with a woman, you learn (if you are socially retarded and haven't learned already) what kind of things you can and can't say. Asking if you are pregnant is one....TELLING SOMEONE THEY LOOK PREGNANT WHEN YOU KNOW THEY AREN'T is another. What an effing moron.

Edit: people have asked me repeatedly if I am pregnant...only because I obsessively pin baby things on pinterest, though...lol.

SarahDavs

How is it rude to ask a women if she is pregnant? Just say "No."

If a grown woman has a large stomach who you've never seen before anyone would assume that they were pregnant..

Oh my god. Ugh. There are many other reasons why a woman might have a larger stomach. And by asking someone you don't know if they are pregnant, when they are not, you are basically calling them fat. So think about it: Is it rude to go up to someone and tell them they are fat? Yes.

ETA: it's extremely rude, insensitive and thoughtless.

jasmine_noel

I'm someone who has been asked a few times and been totally and completely offended by it, but then used that as motivation to lose weight (and dress better!)

Really, people don't ask to be a-holes, they ask because you look pregnant. (I'm not disregarding the possibility that they are actually insensitive a-holes, but generally speaking, they're not TRYING to be.)

mynpyn

I had this happen to me a few months ago by an elderly lady. She even gave me a nice tummy rub while asking. :bigsmile: I told her there wasn't a baby in there, but I did just have one 8 years ago. :laugh: She was mortified and I really did feel worse for her than I did for me.

peopletalk

How is it rude to ask a women if she is pregnant? Just say "No."

If a grown woman has a large stomach who you've never seen before anyone would assume that they were pregnant..

cause it's basically saying to someone "oh, you have a lot of fat in your stomach area. enough fat to make me think a human is growing inside it"


seriously? did you really just ask how it was rude?
you don't go up to a random and say "you're fat, especially in your tummy area" so why would a person ask a stranger if they're pregnant.

d4ggl3s

seriously? did you really just ask how it was rude?
you don't go up to a random and say "you're fat, especially in your tummy area" so why would a person ask a stranger if they're pregnant.

This. I was beginning to think I was the only one who honestly though that it's no one's god d*mned business whether someone's pregnant or not. It's like if I walked up to some random guy at the bus stop and asked, "Hey do you have hemorrhoids?" If I wanted someone to know I was pregnant I'd tell them in the first place.

primal7

Just tell him you are working on your beer belly just as he is! :drinker:
Then walk away!

stephaniemejia1671

I have been asked if I was pregnant and my usual response is no I am just fat, that usually shuts them up.

Same here. I don't get upset really since I know I am working hard to get rid of fat that gives people the reason to even ask that question. Ignorance is dangerous. see the following:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Idiocracy

LizardQueen4PointOh

At my heaviest, I was asked this question and had it implied that I was pregnant twice within a week. When I was asked when I was due, I was caught off guard and simply responded, "Oh, I'm not pregnant. This is leftovers from the other three." If I would have been quicker on my feet, I would have just thought up a due date to avoid the awkwardness. Coincidentally, I was wearing an empire waisted shirt at the time. I have since donated said shirts (I had them in a few colors) to charity.

GeekAmour

I worked at a plus sized store last summer and I was helping a lady out in the fitting room. She had tried on a pair of pants and asked what sort of top would go with it. I told her something like I was wearing would look nice. I was wearing a sleeveless tank that was fitted around the bust but flowy from just under my bust down. She looked at it and said, "No, I don't wear maternity clothes. I'm not pregnant."

I stood there a minute, trying to remember that I would get fired if I hit a customer, and finally said, "I'm not pregnant either." She rolled her eyes and said, "Well then you shouldn't wear clothes that give people that impression. She closed the fitting room door and I passed her off to another employee to deal with.

It sucked because since I was at work, I had to remain professional and I couldn't call her out on it. The funny thing is, when the other employee brought her a shirt exactly like mine but in a different color, she loved it so much she bought it.

It's mean to say, but I hope somebody says exactly the same to her!

GeekAmour

At my heaviest, I was asked this question and had it implied that I was pregnant twice within a week. When I was asked when I was due, I was caught off guard and simply responded, "Oh, I'm not pregnant. This is leftovers from the other three." If I would have been quicker on my feet, I would have just thought up a due date to avoid the awkwardness. Coincidentally, I was wearing an empire waisted shirt at the time. I have since donated said shirts (I had them in a few colors) to charity.

Every magazine & fashion expert recommends empire waist clothes for a flattering look for "the curvy woman"... they have obviously never taken their own advice & been congratulated on their pregnancy!

"Oh! That flowy empire cut top over your ample tummy doesn't make you look six months pregnant at all!", said no one ever.

LeahT84

I had someone I knew pretty well ask me that once, I smiled wide and said "Why yes, yes I am." while rolling my eyes. His girlfriend slapped him for being rude. I saw him about 8 months later and he asked me where the baby was, I just laughed. Last week, I got poked in the belly by a resident at work and he asked me "got one in there?" I politely told him no and smiled. It doesn't bother me because I have learned to grow a thick skin over the years. I know I'm fat, and I am doing something about it so that in a year or two, those same people can look at me with a stunned stupid look on their face and praise me for looking so good. As my ex used to say "joke'm if they can't take a *kitten*"

KBGAgent

I fully understand how guys can be stupid, but, I don't understand why anyone has to be mean. Sorry he was a jerk to you.

FluffyMae

I stress ate an extra 10 lbs before my wedding in 1995. I tell you wut! Everyone at the reception kept asking if I was preggers. And it was kinda suspicious, we got engaged and married 3 mos. later. But, I actually spent our 1st anniversary in labor and gave birth the next day!

Then...after the birth of my 2nd baby...the lady at the corner store bellows, "Good God woman...haven't you had that baby yet?" I burst into tears and went and got my 6 month old baby out of the car...

tcollins46

I've lost about 40 lbs., but have more to go and I do have a stomach. The weight came off my legs and butt and upper body, but not so much around my stomach. I was shopping over the weekend w/ my husband and a woman at the store asked me when my baby was due. At first I didn't think she was talking to me and when I looked up she was staring right at me. It felt like the entire world stopped and all eyes were on me. I think I whispered that I wasn't pregnant. I'm almost 50 and the last child I had was 22 years ago. My husband walked away and for some reason my feet wouldn't move. The lady felt terrible and kept talking, but honestly I don't know what all she said. She even gave me a hug, but I just wanted her to disappear and forget it all happened. Its only been one day and I've replayed it a thousand times in my head.

kb2699

At a wedding in November a guy patted my belly and asked when I was due. I laughed and told him I wasn't pregnant - not only that, I had a glass of wine in one hand and a cigarette in the other - he shook his head and said 'No, no, you're pregnant aren't you. Cmon, when's it due?' . I honestly thought this was funny rather than offensive, mostly because he was so clueless as to how awkward he should have been feeling!

Phrick

I used to get asked ALL.THE.TIME. Weekly, at least. "oh when are you due?" I'M NOT PREGNANT JUST FAT!!!! I started telling people I had a liver tumor :devil: but one time that backfired on me when the husband of the lady(!!) who'd asked actually DID have a liver tumor and she started asking me detailed questions about if I was on a transplant list and what meds I took. :embarassed:

It died down to no questions asked as i got fatter, actually I kind of missed it at that point. I mean, I'd gone from "maybe you have an excuse to be that size" to "nope, you're just a fatty, I won't even ask."

I'm back down now to the size where I was getting asked before, and just as before my belly is my most prominent feature at the moment so I anticipate it starting up again. The app I use on my phone predicts when I will reach my "goal weight" so I think I'll just use that as the "due date" that I will start telling people!

kb2699

Oh, just remembered another one. I was having my hair done and one of the junior hairdressers was washing my hair. She asked what I did and I said that I was on maternity leave from work. She asked when the baby was due. I told her my baby was 7 months old. Again I thought this was really funny, she was mortified. That one was about four years ago now.

Mistyvs

Yep, several times I also carry the bulk of my weight in my belly. I had a lady ask me if I was pregnant once (she was the owner of a restaurant I was eating at) and when I told her no, she stood behind the counter and stared at me for the longest time and then asked me, "are you sure?"

Another time, I was doing mobile massage (I'm a therapist) and my new client asked me if he could help me out to the car with my table because I shouldn't be carrying it in my condition.