A B*tchy Rant - not for the easily offended 'cuz I might be

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Title: A B*itchy Rant - not for easily offended 'cuz I might be talking about you.

I didn't know which thread to post this on, but this seemed reasonable.

I am afraid this is going to come off as sounding b*tchy, and I don't mean it to be. I'm equally annoyed, mystified, and troubled by a trend I've been noticing both here and in my real life.

First, I am proud to say that yes, I have indeed lost a LOT of weight.

Second, it was not easy and it did not happen overnight.

Third, I struggle with my inner demons and weight-issues EVERY HOUR of EVERY DAY. While it does get more routine, it is NEVER easy. There is not an end to my healthy lifestyle. It's not a diet. It's a series of choices that I make every single day.

Fourth, there is no "secret." It's calories out have to exceed calories in. There are some strategies that work better than others to achieve this. Everyone has to find their best fit. Mine is typically homemade, planned, natural meals. I personally found I also have to move everyday, even if it's just for 15 minutes.

Fifth, weight loss did not solve all my problems. In fact, it created some - and created some issues with certain relationships. Not all my friends and family have hung around for my transformation. And, it's an ongoing transformation - - - I'm sure I will lose more than the last 50 pounds. Before I found my best friend (my boyfriend) and we started our now 5-year relationship, I had men tell me I was too fat, too thin, or too-something-else. Well, they are exes for a reason.

Sixth, I believe in surrounding yourself with people that can encourage and support you. That let you make your own mistakes, but that are always looking out for your best interests. I don't allow saboteurs to remain in my inner circle for long.

Seventh, being selfish and putting myself first is one of the most important tenets I live by. I want to give to others and make those around me happier, but not at the expense of MY happiness, health, or life. When I take time for me, I find I have much more quality time for everyone else. This is an unwavering belief that I refuse to sacrifice. I only wish I had learned this about 20 years earlier.

Eighth, I refuse to conform to others' definition of health. F* the BMI charts. F* the insurance plans weight categories. F* societies' images of beauty. I'm strong, my bloodwork has normalized, I'd still like to lose 50 pounds, but I'm healthy. And I'm getting better and better every day.

Ninth, because it bears repeating: THERE IS NO SECRET. Weight loss and maintenance is time-consuming. It is not time-limited. It's forever. For those who want to learn healthier habits, there is a wealth of resources at your fingertips. MFP is one. The web is another - you can find wonderful, healthy living information everyone. There are classes to take, journals to read. To be successful, I think it's important to eschew being passive. Get involved. Take the reigns. Be accountable and actively seek out more information to arm yourself.

Tenth, I have no tolerance for self-delusion, self-lies, or negativity. I realize healthy lifestyles are very personal and everyone must find what works for them... but I am SO TIRED of reading "good job!" and "WTG's!" for fluff. I know everyone isn't looking for a critique, so I don't say ANYTHING on these occasions. But really? Are people just not invested and handing out casual kudos to cross it off their list of to-dos? Or do people really believe someone who logs 300 calories for their daily calorie intake is doing a good job? Do people really think applause is in order for someone who eats fast food all day, but somehow manages to stay under a 2000 calorie quota? Am I just being too critical? Well, I don't think so. So, I'll keep doing what I'm doing - and NOT commenting on these type of information. My mother used to say, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. So, to be really honest, the people that tear others down publicly on the boards or on profiles when people DO log that they ate fast food all day... are just as bad. I don't really have time for either type of folks.

<deep breath> As I reread this, I realize I'm ranting. It was a series of events that prompted this. Recently, I saw a colleague for the first time in about 5 years. She was shocked at how I looked and couldn't stop asking "how did you do it?" Yet she was never satisfied with the very simple answer. After that, I received no less than 16 queries online about the secret to my success. I really don't mind the question, and I'm happy to help when I can.... I want to be supportive... but about the 7th time I started writing a response.... I started to wonder.... "What do YOU think is the secret?"

Every morning, I have to self-talk myself into being active and making good food choices. Some days I succeed wildly, other days I fail miserably. The support I receive on MFP is invaluable - it keeps me going. As I said, this is not a quick fix. While my BF is wonderful, he does not understand food issues and is blessed with the metabolism of a gnat. He doesn't understand food-crazy. So, I cherish each of my buddies. And I cherish the community and support I receive. I hope I can continue being a support to others. But... there is no magic, there is no secret. It's just sweat, a few tears, a ton of planning, and a lot of determination.

Thank you for listening.
D.
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Replies

  • jamiek89
    jamiek89 Posts: 105
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    lol. I love rants! Hope you feel a bit better now youve got that all off your chest!
  • MemphisGirl75
    MemphisGirl75 Posts: 80 Member
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    **Standing Ovation**

    You rock!

    That is all...


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  • ChunkyMonkey207
    ChunkyMonkey207 Posts: 96 Member
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    AMEN Sistaaaa...wtg on your weight loss!
  • scmusicbiz
    scmusicbiz Posts: 35 Member
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    That wasn't *****y at all! Just very realistic. Good for you! I hope to emulate your success, and I promise not to ask what your secret is.

    Steve
  • janemartin02
    janemartin02 Posts: 2,653 Member
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    well said
  • Davali
    Davali Posts: 225 Member
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    I get the 'rant' - not offensive at all.
  • scmusicbiz
    scmusicbiz Posts: 35 Member
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    This site won't let you say *****? WTF!
  • kaytedawg05
    kaytedawg05 Posts: 209
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    I pretty much agree with everything u said here.. You have lost over 250 lbs already! That is something that definitely deserves KUDOS! Congratulations on the success you have had thus far & and Best Wishes for the remaining road ahead... YOU made it this far, YOU can do this! It's a great inspiration.
  • determined3138
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    So true and well said!
  • SayLiLIG
    SayLiLIG Posts: 197 Member
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    Love it. Tell it how you see it. I admit to eating fast food every once in awhile, but not for every meal.
  • MemphisGirl75
    MemphisGirl75 Posts: 80 Member
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    Seriously, you make d@mn good points. I get the same thing over and over: what are you doing?

    Well, what do you think I'm doing? I'm getting off my @ss every day/night and doing something. I'm not just watching "The Biggest Loser", crying in my Big Mac about how lucky they are and I wish I had a Jillian in my life. Boo-hoo-hoo. Get over it, get up, put down the twinkie, eat some wheat bread as opposed to white, and quit thinking a large Pepperoni from Dominos a couple of times a week is ok. It's not.
  • Shweedog
    Shweedog Posts: 883 Member
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    love, Love, LOVE! That was pure GREATNESS!!!
  • TonysMiss
    TonysMiss Posts: 128 Member
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    Pshh....that wasn't bad at all!! Well said I might add! :smile:
  • bbygrl5
    bbygrl5 Posts: 964 Member
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    there is no magic, there is no secret. It's just sweat, a few tears, a ton of planning, and a lot of determination.

    Amen to this! You are my hero!! :)

    Oh, and I just wanted to add that I supported your entire post, this is just what stood out strongly to me!! Love it!!
  • ChelDM
    ChelDM Posts: 145
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    Completely impressed with your honesty and your being "real"!

    Thank you so much for sharing!
  • SarahofTwins
    SarahofTwins Posts: 1,169 Member
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    "WTG" lol great post! Its funny to hear people ask what the secret is.....I just want to say get off ur a** and research it. It takes TIME. anyhow I enjoyed reading :happy:
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    I completely agree with everything you have said. You don't sound ranty at all.

    When people comment on my weight loss, I say "thank you, I have worked very hard at it." As you say, it's not a secret, it take a LOT of hard work and self sacrifice!.
  • Becca_007
    Becca_007 Posts: 596 Member
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    .
  • knachelle
    knachelle Posts: 13 Member
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    I loved your "rant"!! I feel like I needed to read that! # 10 speaks directly to me! I have so many issues with food that I struggle with daily. Although I am one of those people that continues to eat a great deal of fast food, I am getting better than where I started. I need "tough love" and i think reading your post has changed my dinner plans. Anytime you see my diary pop up and you feel the need to motivate me to stay ontrack, please by all means feel free to say so. People always tiptoe around the truth; but sometimes the truth hurts but it needs to be said. Thanks again for your post because I really needed it!!!
  • Ladydi1982
    Ladydi1982 Posts: 218 Member
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    I loved this. Thank you for speaking your mind and I have to say, it was not B*tchy at all! Your determination is admirable and I hope you can stay determined for the rest of your life. I would also like to thank you and give you kudos for your eloquence. You said what you wanted to say and you said it very well.

    Thank you
    Diana :flowerforyou: