My rant on sweaters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SoldierDad
SoldierDad Posts: 1,602
edited September 26 in Chit-Chat
I am very tired of not having my own hand knitted sweater. My ex couldn't knit. I start liking this woman or that woman and then I find out she can not knit. I thought I had found my way around the problem last Christmas. I took my scout troop to sing carols at an old folks home and I spent almost 2 hours cozying up to an 80 year old woman. The result? She couldn't knit and neither could the granddaughter she wanted me to meet. I give up! I was holding out to marry the woman of my dreams. Someone sweet, pretty, funny, smart, and who adores kids. Not anymore. Whatever woman knits me a sweater is my future bride. I know, I know your saying just go buy a sweater! Or, its summer you don't need a sweater. What I don't need is that kind of logical thinking in my life!!!! I want my hand knitted sweater! :explode: :explode: :explode:
Thank you for listening.
Blessings,
Ed

ps: hehehehhehehehehee :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
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Replies

  • rfcollins33
    rfcollins33 Posts: 630
    I am laughing so hard at this right now!
  • NicolCook
    NicolCook Posts: 489 Member
    :laugh: Ha ha ha! Danggitt......I can't knit either :wink:
  • feliciapeters
    feliciapeters Posts: 525
    I. Not anymore. Whatever woman knits me a sweater is my future bride. I

    try learning to knit your OWN sweaters
  • danyellelh
    danyellelh Posts: 10
    lol :)
    i can knit-and that would be a lot of work! sweaters are complicated
  • Rubie81
    Rubie81 Posts: 720 Member
    I've got one word for you, ETSY.
  • bigmamma3
    bigmamma3 Posts: 134
    why don't you learn and make one yourself?
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    See, and I thought this was going to be about people who sweat excessively.

    Or maybe really hairy shirtless guys. :embarassed:
  • Heather75
    Heather75 Posts: 3,386 Member
    They sell them in stores, you know...
  • SoldierDad
    SoldierDad Posts: 1,602
    why don't you learn and make one yourself?

    Knitting your own sweater is like giving yourself a foot rub! :laugh:
  • SimplyDeLish
    SimplyDeLish Posts: 539
    LMAO!!! You are waaaaaayyyy too funny!
  • BigBoneSista
    BigBoneSista Posts: 2,389 Member
    I can't knit a sweater but I can crochet a really big square :indifferent: Oh darn...I'm married already :ohwell:

    *skips off to crochet my hubby a really big square* :bigsmile:
  • SoldierDad
    SoldierDad Posts: 1,602
    They sell them in stores, you know...

    No way! I want one hand knitted! And hand knitted with love! hehehehee
  • nerdyandilikeit
    nerdyandilikeit Posts: 2,185 Member
    I've got one word for you, ETSY.

    YES.
  • NicolCook
    NicolCook Posts: 489 Member
    why don't you learn and make one yourself?

    Knitting your own sweater is like giving yourself a foot rub! :laugh:

    Love it!! :bigsmile:
  • NoPyForYou
    NoPyForYou Posts: 44 Member
    As a knitter (married, sorry!!) I have to wonder if you know the amount of time and money it would take someone to knit you a nice sweater.

    Besides all of that, all knitters are taught NOT to knit for our boyfriends (especially sweaters!) because of the boyfriend curse. (In case you don't catch the sarcasm, the myth is that men see us taking the time to knit something as some weird commitment thing and run away!)

    Honestly, your best bet, L2K (learn.to.knit)!!
  • feliciapeters
    feliciapeters Posts: 525
    go to the nearest retirement home. they are likely FULL of little old ladies who love to knit & have no one who appreciates them. Tell anyone who knits you one you will take them out for a nice lunch & pay for the yarn. You'll be swimming in sweaters in a week.
  • myukniewicz
    myukniewicz Posts: 906 Member
    i cant knit either! :noway:
  • 1horsetown
    1horsetown Posts: 247 Member
    So learn to knit!! All you really need to learn is two stitches and you can tackle most projects.

    I'm currently knitting a lace tablecloth. I'm using thread (smaller than kite string) and knitting needles slightly bigger around than toothpicks.

    Some of the top designers right now are men! And they are even STRAIGHT!

    Try it. 1Horsetown
  • DizzieLittleLifter
    DizzieLittleLifter Posts: 1,020 Member
    Perhaps you should take up knitting :wink: LOL Yeah, like I could see that! :laugh:
  • SoldierDad
    SoldierDad Posts: 1,602
    I think some missed this being a complet joke just to get everyone smiling in the middle of a work day. :flowerforyou:
  • DangerRanger
    DangerRanger Posts: 327 Member
    My grandmother can knit. She's old and smelly, but she is single AND can knit. PM me if you want her digits.
  • marji4x
    marji4x Posts: 144 Member
    Do NOT give up on your dreams!
  • froglegjack
    froglegjack Posts: 388 Member
    LOL this was funny...I laughed out loud at the Lady skipping off to crochet her husband a big square thanks guys
  • crazymama2two
    crazymama2two Posts: 867
    ill buy you a sweater and tell you i made it...but im a slacker like that.
  • amfmmama
    amfmmama Posts: 1,420 Member
    I will have to post later...I am on my way to my knitting class! :wink:
  • whiskey9890
    whiskey9890 Posts: 652 Member
    ed,
    i'll knit you one for your teddy bear lol
  • Egger29
    Egger29 Posts: 14,741 Member
    I know how to knit, but I'm spoken for already and don't play for that team for you to be my type anyway. LOL!
  • kehowe83
    kehowe83 Posts: 79 Member
    I once knew a lady who would make her own yarn out of her dog's fur... then make sweaters out of them...

    Creepy... but oddly creative and thrifty!
  • NicolCook
    NicolCook Posts: 489 Member
    My grandmother can knit. She's old and smelly, but she is single AND can knit. PM me if you want her digits.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • jllipson
    jllipson Posts: 646
    I could get my mom to knit one for you - oh and it would be made from baby yarn and probably have baby theme to it too...

    Oh and sorry, but she is married, as am I...

    Have a wonderful day!
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