My rant on sweaters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RoadDog

I'm the only one at home that can't knit. Holland and Jan are always knitting something for someone. But, you think I could get them to patch the hole on my goalie pants? Finally threw it away and bought a new pair.

HaleyAlli

LOLOLOL wooooooow... This made my day XD On a side note, I used to know how to knit, but I've forgotten how to now. It was fun when I did it with my friends though Yes we were dorks in high school, lol...

ashleynicoleb

I learned how to knit in 8th grade and I remember nothing of it. Guess I won't be a suitable wife for any guy! Lmao

Kolohe71

Hand knitted sweaters???? Quick... Paddle Harder!!! I think I can hear Banjo Music!!!!

Neliel

This made me smile! You are funny. And I know what you mean, I've ALWAYS wanted a hand-knitted sweater! Life is just one big disappointment for us...

welly5

I crochet all the time, but no knitting. Find a stitch and ***** group.. tons of knitters there

SoldierDad

I am not senseing a lot of support for someone knitting me a sweater! Ohhhhhhhhhh cruel fate!

CakeFit21

Shoot, I can only knit scarves and hats :sad:

feliciapeters

So learn to knit!! All you really need to learn is two stitches and you can tackle most projects.

I'm currently knitting a lace tablecloth. I'm using thread (smaller than kite string) and knitting needles slightly bigger around than toothpicks.

Some of the top designers right now are men! And they are even STRAIGHT!

Try it. 1Horsetown

My grandmother used to do that, I believe she called it "tatting" not knitting

TDGee

I would much rather someone knitted me a cold beer.

KickassYas

i'll knit you a sweater. i knit. i crochet. i'm one crafty chick. i'm on etsy. crochetmybrainsout.etsy.com

you want it?? come get it... it'll only cost you your soul....

MUUUAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAA

:devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil: :devil:

Hammie18

THIS is an AWESOME departure from all the drama on these message boards. Thanks for the laugh.

KickassYas

So learn to knit!! All you really need to learn is two stitches and you can tackle most projects.

I'm currently knitting a lace tablecloth. I'm using thread (smaller than kite string) and knitting needles slightly bigger around than toothpicks.

Some of the top designers right now are men! And they are even STRAIGHT!

Try it. 1Horsetown

My grandmother used to do that, I believe she called it "tatting" not knitting

tatting and knitting and crochet are three different things!

knitting done with 2 pointed needles

crochet done with a hook

tatting is knotwork done with a shuttle which is a surfboard lookin thing holding thread to lace into tiny knots. making beautiful patterns.!

yeahhh i'm a crafting nerd LOL

tammyquinnlmt

My grandmother can knit. She's old and smelly, but she is single AND can knit. PM me if you want her digits.

OMG< Old and smelly! what a terrible thing to say about your gma. I'm laughing so hard right now!!!!

Aesop101

I will have to post later...I am on my way to my knitting class!

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I was going to say I will bet there are 30 women learning to knit as we type.

Oh, my daughter can knit and she's available. And I do have a shotgun.

2bFitNTrim

LOL, this is too funny. I can't knit or sew even though my dear sweet Grandmother tried her best to teach me. I once got a "D" in Home Economics. :blushing: I never did finish that stupid top I was making. :grumble:

tammyquinnlmt

I can't knit but I can quilt....I can quilt you a sweater. But, I'm married. My husband says I can have a boyfriend but he has to be willing to buy him a boat with matching truck, and pay all my bills:huh:

Kellee_76

This is too funny! I love kids and can knit up a storm but I'm off to be married in June. So sorry. Best of luck in your quest!

brendansmom1

My grandmother can knit. She's old and smelly, but she is single AND can knit. PM me if you want her digits.

ROFLMAO! That is great. She is old and smelly. Be nice to your granny

I can knit a blanket! You can wrap yourself up in it. And, yes, I realized it was a joke to get us through the day, but still felt I should throw my 2cents in. LOL

Johnnyswife

I. Not anymore. Whatever woman knits me a sweater is my future bride. I

try learning to knit your OWN sweaters

Yeah! Nothing like doing it yourself.:laugh: Had to laugh at the lady running to crochet her hubby a big square. :laugh:

Czymom

I. Not anymore. Whatever woman knits me a sweater is my future bride. I

try learning to knit your OWN sweaters

HILARIOUS!

holdthefries

How many carbs in a hand knitted sweater?
Does knitting count as exercise? Do I have to eat back my knitting exercise calories?

Annr

ah Ed you must have a sweatshirt hon....you got part of the word in there the sweaty part...but STILL...and Im confused...you said I was a mystery to you....Lordy what is the mystery about this ol nudist....one thing you should know...I DONT OWN A sweater...but I can do macrame'...kind of the same;-) In the end of the sweater making, you could hang a nice pot off the sleave or in front. Walking follage:-)

wonnder1

My grandmother can knit. She's old and smelly, but she is single AND can knit. PM me if you want her digits.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

While we're on it, I want a man who can (in this order)

Kill a spider (I'm sick of these pansies catch and releasing)
Open a jar of pickles (and not opening it after I've worked it for 10 minutes)
Do his own taxidermy (what, should I knit allll the rugs?)
Put a toilet seat down (especially after I spent all that time knitting a nice soft toilet seat cover)

HelenTheKitchen

I can knit and crochet everything from lace to full on footsy pajamas. A sweater falls somewhere in the middle there. I gotta tell you though, most people hate hand knitted sweaters because they are hard to clean and can be very itchy.

I guess my husband doesn't appreciate how lucky he is.

TheGoktor

Besides all of that, all knitters are taught NOT to knit for our boyfriends (especially sweaters!) because of the boyfriend curse. (In case you don't catch the sarcasm, the myth is that men see us taking the time to knit something as some weird commitment thing and run away!)

My partner adores the sweatersI knit him - no sweater curse here!

I gotta tell you though, most people hate hand knitted sweaters because they are hard to clean and can be very itchy.

But they don't have to be! It's easy to handwash a sweater, and you can even get some really good acrylics, which are soft & snuggly, plus can be washed in the machine (I use these for my eldest son's ones because he would never handwash anything!). There are lots of yarns which won't cause irritation!

SoldierDad - you need to join Ravelry.com - loads of knitters just waiting for a man like you! :bigsmile:

(Yes, I know this is all very tongue-in-cheek!)

jsteras

I think some missed this being a complet joke just to get everyone smiling in the middle of a work day. :flowerforyou:

Darn it and I was thinking ok in the time it will take me to learn how to knit and actually make a sweater that looks like a sweater! I can lose the weight I need to because I will be concentrating on my knitting of the sweater and my reward was going to be YOU. Crap it's a joke!! Now I will have to find another reward and something to keep busy doing :) Love it!

VixFit2011

check out etsy.com hand made items and your can request what you want and people will make it for you. i'm not advertising for them just wanted to help you find your sweater. And on women not knitting, this era of people just don't do the "basics" anymore. I'm 65 and so much has changed from the way women used to do things and men too.

Brittanymetzner

My great Aunt Eleanor knitted me a sweater...I spent most of my time trying to come up with creative ways to NOT wear it...nevertheless, I wish you great success.

zave

My mom loved to knit. She used to make me sweaters all the time. The turtle neck collar went up to my nose and the sleeves went six inches passed my hands. She always said I would grow into them. I'm 52 and still haven't grown into them.

(I had to pull my sleeves up like 3 times to even type this)