Negative Comments

stacilynn_1215

My favorite are the people who feel they are being supportive in asking, "are you sure you want to eat that?" and I'm left screaming to myself AHHH YEAH!! I' think I've got this figured out mostly and am losing. If I want something i fit it into my calories or i work out a little extra. And trust me if its something not healthy I've already asked myself a million times if its worth it or if I really want it, so the excuse (that was given to me) of well sometimes you just need that extra person to make you stop and think about it, really, I'm good on it thanks.

I definitely hear ya on that one!

stacilynn_1215

and i only see those people every so often, so its not that big of a deal.

if it were me, i would try and schedule my goals based on visits to this branch of the family - that way i'd get their tickers going every time! you just stay the course and stick to what matters to *you*! best of luck!

Haha!! Love it! Thanks

wonnder1

There are three types of people in the world.

Positive, Negative, Realist.

The positive people will look at you and see a goal, and feel genuinely happy for you.
The negative people will look at you, see a goal and reject that goal.
The realist looks at you, sees a goal and carries on with their own life.

If it wasn't weight loss, it would be that sleeveless shirt you're wearing or those shoes or that job...blah blah blah.

Myself, the positive AND the negative people kind of bug me. There is no need for anyone to comment on your weight loss if I didn't ask for a comment, or preach about my organic, vegan, locally grown, sustainable wheat germ salad.

But, if I ran the world, there would be no tax on shoes. Smile, nod, and carry on.

kylielouttit

Lead by example! Once they see the great results hard work will get you, they will hopefully see the light and make a change themselves!

knittnponder

Your working hard and losing weight puts them on the spot because they're NOT. It makes them feel guilty and they either have to join you or get you to stop. Bringing you down and belittling you makes them feel better and takes the focus off them so they don't have to feel guilty. People can be messed up. Hang in there and try to avoid the toxic people whose only interest is bench pressing a cheeseburger.

monky13grl

I totally know what you are saying. People tell me that I am becoming too obsessed. I realize though, that it is just because I am changing my lifestyle and they are not. Unfortunately, when you make the right choices, it just reminds other people that they are not, and they want their old friend back. The ones who really care will be supportive if you just let them know how important this weight loss is to you and how much better you are feeling... and it doesn't hurt to make sure they know you aren't judging them either and support the decisions they make.

Hearts_2015

Does anyone else have some friends or family members that always are so negative about your weight loss? For instance, my cousin and his wife (who is far more overweight than I am) are always saying "oh yea she says she does all this stuff but the weights are probably just for show." or when I say im watching my calories for the day, they say things like "whatever, you shouldnt have to do that." They both eat very unclean - im talking fast food and junk every day - 4000 calories or more a day. I feel proud of myself and what I have accomplished and it just really bugs me when people like that try to make me feel bad about sticking to my plan. Any thoughts? Thanks for listening to my rant

Sounds like they wish it was themselves making the changes! Beneath anger and jealousy is usually fear and pain. They likely zing you to push the pain of their own lives away.

I'm so sorry they are trying to diminish all your hard work, but in truth they really can't take it away from you. If you can try not to allow them the power anymore and focus on how good you feel about the decision to get healthier. :flowerforyou: You know how hard you are working, try and remember this is all about YOU, not anyone else, it's helped me I focus on that and realizing when others have something to say, it's more about them than the other person.

Good work!:drinker:

theladebug

My guess from experience is that seeing you make good choices is making them feel bad about how they are living. It's their problem, not yours. Just remember that its not about you, its probably about them and keep doing what you know is right. Try not to judge them too harshly just because they arent ready to make healthy changes in their own lives.

perrytyra

My daughter has a friend, and her parents drive me crazy. Both parents are over weight, and they both say the most horrible things about their daughter's weight. A couple of weeks ago I ran into the little girl and her mother at a school event, and her mother remarked about how tall my daughter is getting. Then she went on to say that her daughter is also growing, but she is growing wider not taller. What kind of person says that about their own kid!!!!???? Our kids also play soccer, and the other day when our girl's were competing against each other in a game, her parents kept telling us that their daughter won't ever make a goal, but as long as she is having fun they are happy to let her play soccer. They also yelled out to her, "Hey use all your weight to get through the girls". I try and say things to her parents to let them know that it isn't okay to talk about their daughter this way, but they just don't seem to get it! I know this is hurting their daughter. She has told my daughter that she is fat, and she has gained a bunch of weight over the last two years. I am sure she is depressed, and gaining the weight, because of how her parents have been talking to her. She is only nine years old. I am not sure what to do about this. If anyone has any advice on how I could help this family please tell me.

Is this a good friend of your daughter? I would invite that little girl over as much as possible. Just be a good example for her. Do fun things with her, things that sneak in exercise withought making it obvious. Just to show her that it is normal, and fun. Make delicious healthy food, the kind kids like. Hopefully this kind of stuff will lift her spirits and give her a break from her negative parents.

And to the original poster, I would try to say you eating a certain way because you enjoy it, not because you want to lose weight. Maybe that will shut them up a bit. As for the saying you probably don't exercise, I would have to bite my tongue to keep from telling them to get bent. When you have reached your goal, there will look pretty silly.

jwd28

Don't take it personally. Their comments are not a reflection of how they feel about YOU. They're a reflection of how they feel about THEMSELVES.

Keep up the great work

MrsBrit2007

I just had an experience with this at a Zumba class a couple of days ago. My ex-BFF/maid of honor (long story) was there with her sister, and they spent the first 5 minutes or so of the beginning of the class basically mocking me. The younger sister even went as far as puffing her cheeks out and making motions of how big I am.
I haven't seen this two since before I was pregnant (2 years ago) and I know that I'm bigger now than I was then, but I could NOT believe how tacky and rude they were being.

I think that you're doing a great thing in taking steps to be healthy, and your 10 pound loss is certainly nothing to scoff at! Congratulations for those 10 pounds! Try your best to ignore their comments, but don't hesitate to defend yourself either!

Keep up the good work!

kentlass

people are so insensitive!


my sister does this to me all the time, she's heavy(about 250lbs at 5ft 5ish) and sneers when i eat something healthy, or refuse cake cos i'm on restricted diets...or deliberately picks up trousers 3sizes too big for me to wear and stuff

stacilynn_1215

ps~ i *love* your smile!

Thank you

stacilynn_1215

I just had an experience with this at a Zumba class a couple of days ago. My ex-BFF/maid of honor (long story) was there with her sister, and they spent the first 5 minutes or so of the beginning of the class basically mocking me. The younger sister even went as far as puffing her cheeks out and making motions of how big I am.
I haven't seen this two since before I was pregnant (2 years ago) and I know that I'm bigger now than I was then, but I could NOT believe how tacky and rude they were being.

I think that you're doing a great thing in taking steps to be healthy, and your 10 pound loss is certainly nothing to scoff at! Congratulations for those 10 pounds! Try your best to ignore their comments, but don't hesitate to defend yourself either!

Keep up the good work!

It is amazing how some people are just rude and immature - Ive let it go, I know that I am doing what is best for me. And I definitely know that I am 100% happier than I was 6 months ago when I was weighing in at 170. Thanks so much for the supportive comments! Good luck to you in your weight loss journey as well!

Dawntodusk

If you are a woman, the more beautiful and thin you are the more you will be bombarded with this type of nonsense. Men will approach you non-stop and women will loathe you our of sheer jealousy.

What kind you do? Find a very beautiful and thin woman, and be her friend.

TourThePast

Does anyone else have some friends or family members that always are so negative about your weight loss?

Unfortunately yes. Trouble is, they're trying to lose weight too because they're seriously obese to the point of it affecting their health, but whenever I see them they're eating totally the wrong foods and in inappropriate amounts. For instance if we go out for a meal they do dumb things like order a baked potato instead of chips "because we're on a diet" but then smother it with butter and spoon loads of mayonnaise over the vegetables. Then try and convince me to have a dessert, and seem offended when I don't give in and have one. I'm pretty sure they try to get me to order one so they don't feel guilty about having one themselves.

Any thoughts?

Yes, I think there are far too many stupid and unkind people in this world.

dawnw30

I use all the negative comments when I am feeling like I can't go on....when I'm in the middle of a hard workout and I think "I can't do this anymore - I have to stop"...I remember all the mean things everyone has ever said to me and it gives me the extra oomph to keep going!

supersecretsquirrel1877

I used to have a friend ( notice I said used to ) that would always tell me " You would be so pretty if only you were not so fat." I spent years wanting to punch her in the face for that.

kylakesgal

Hi and yes I do too. They ask me why do I want to lose weight for? Ha well when I first started my blood pressure was really high for one and I didn't feel good about myself for another reason. Oh and I was overweight!! They are just trying to drag you down in the pit of misery with them. Stay positive and keep doing what you are doing and let them talk. They are just jealous! Good luck to you and your continued success:)

TourThePast

I used to have a friend ( notice I said used to ) that would always tell me " You would be so pretty if only you were not so fat." I spent years wanting to punch her in the face for that.

Okay, some plain speaking... I wish I'd had a friend who was so honest; obviously as you are here, you agree with her that you're too fat. Real friends are those who tell the truth, not tell us what we want to hear.

If instead of wanting to punch her in the face, you had said "You are right, but I'm not sure I can do it" you might have found she was very supportive of your efforts.