He says, "Please don't lose anymore weight"!

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13

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  • HartJames
    HartJames Posts: 789 Member
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    Ok, a little different perspective here. Knowing that your BF chose a woman who was 100 pounds overweight and then chose YOU when you were overweight tells me that he is most likely one of those men who are attracted to overweight women. I agree that you should do what makes you happy but with the full knowledge that your BF may not remain attracted to you and being that men are very visual and that attraction is a major componet in a relationship- you have to prioritize what's right for you. I suggest a VERY frank conversation with him where you find out point blank what this all means to him.
  • That_Girl
    That_Girl Posts: 1,324 Member
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    It's your body. Lose the weight if you want.

    He probably is insecure. My friend's husband kept her fat to keep her home.
  • Laura2201
    Laura2201 Posts: 3
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    do what you want and what will make you feel happy and good about yourself :) if you're only doing it for him then fair enough but i presume youre doing this for yourself so just do it :)[
  • fitterpam
    fitterpam Posts: 3,086 Member
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    I think you need to sit and have a discussion with him and understand if it has anything to do with his ex. He shouldn't be able to tell you what to do with your body, but he should have some input into your decision. Do you have reasons for hitting that number? Is it for your health, your self image or is it just a number? Explain to him your reasons and listen to his. Ultimately the decision is yours but imagine if something that was important to you that he has full control of and he just blew off your opinion without even thinking about it - I know I'd be pretty hurt that my opinion didn't matter at all. At least if you have the discussion, he'll understand the reasons you decided the way you did.

    Personally, my goal is not my ideal weight - it's my own personal low (which is about 20lbs heavier than "normal" weight for my height). I was happy at that weight with myself and my husband was too. But then he was happy with me at 100lbs overweight too....so LOL
  • kayleeblue
    kayleeblue Posts: 273
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    When I first read your topic I had so much to say...but then I read everyone elses comments and they said it for me...DO WHATS BEST FOR YOU!! When you feel comfortable then he should be able to accept you as such. Good Luck!
  • CookieCatCatcher
    CookieCatCatcher Posts: 324 Member
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    You're mom is right. You need to decide whats best for you, and if your boyfriend is not happy with your body, he can go suck rocks! :D
  • Dawntodusk
    Dawntodusk Posts: 262 Member
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    I don't know what height you are, but I think you'll probably have plenty of curves even at your goal weight. Tell your boyfriend that he shouldn't judge until he's seen the final goods. In any case, I agree with your Mom! Men come and go, but your body is yours til you die.
  • Kellee_76
    Kellee_76 Posts: 91
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    If you're happy with you, he'll be happy with you. Weight or no weight. We're the most attractive to others when we FEEL attractive.
  • Kellee_76
    Kellee_76 Posts: 91
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    If you're happy with you, he'll be happy with you. Weight or no weight. We're the most attractive to others when we FEEL attractive.

    ***
    Sorry for the duplicate post. (Not sure how to delete it!)
  • Ladywindchaser
    Ladywindchaser Posts: 44 Member
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    This really should not be about anything but "your health". Loving someone should not be about whether they are skinny or fat. Love should be a whole lot deeper than what pants size we wear. I read your post to my Hubby and he said the same thing as the others. Your BF is worried about losing you. That is his insecurity to deal with not yours. If he truly loves you he will come around and love you no matter what size your are and vice versa. But do what is in your best health interest.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    My husband doesn't want me to lose any more weight. I have lost 11 lbs, and am aiming for another 11, but he says I feel bony. I don't need to lose any more, but I quite want to. I don't really know what to do. At the moment I am just maintaining while I think about it.
  • AmandaMonique
    AmandaMonique Posts: 34
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    Definitely do what's best for you: be healthy and happy.
    And if he truly loves you, he's going to love you thin, overweight, whatever.

    If it's about his ex, you'll just have to prove to him that it's not going to happen.
    (:
  • monoxidechick
    monoxidechick Posts: 339
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    I say do it for yourself first!! If you are at a healthy weight and feel good about yourself then it may be time to maintain and maybe adding some muscle tone will help you feel better about where you are at.

    The thing about goals is that we usually dont know exactly what will happen at that magic number that we vision in the future unless we have been there before. I have never been down to 135, so for me, that is my ultimate goal, but I am not sure what will happen when I get there. Maybe I will want to continue a few more lbs or maybe I will want to stop before that, I do not know. Maybe what you thought was your goal is a bit too much?

    If he likes you with curves, he should like you without them as well. If he is insecure or judgemental, it will probably not work out in the end anyway.

    DO IT FOR YOURSELF!!!!!
  • brenda_71
    brenda_71 Posts: 151
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    I think most of us on here are doing this for ourselves. That's great he's happy with the way you look but you're not doing it for him.
  • cowlover22
    cowlover22 Posts: 309 Member
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    Did you lose weight for him to begin with? If so then that was for the wrong reasons. You need to do what is going to make you feel good about yourself and not worry about others. As long as you are being healthy that is.... Tell him that yiu are not that other person and well...GET OVER IT>>THIS IS ABOUT YOU NOT HIM!:bigsmile:
  • Neliel
    Neliel Posts: 507 Member
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    If you want to lose more then that's entirely up to you. He is battling with his own insecurities by asking you not to lose any more. All you can do is reassure him that this is for you. If he really loves YOU then he'll love YOU whatever shape or size you are. If you are not happy with your size - change it. It's your life and you have to be entirely happy and confident in your own body.
  • kimkimchi
    kimkimchi Posts: 58
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    I think you should do what you want for yourself first. Lose the weight if you want to! It sounds like he has insecurity issues based on his previous relationship. Be healthy and treat yourself well first!
  • Gemini_at_36
    Gemini_at_36 Posts: 207
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    Hi,,,okay so let me ask you this, the weight loss, getting healthy, and being healthy, this is all about you right? You are doing this for yourself....not your man. I'm not telling you what you should do.....but this is about yourself, your mind, soul, spirit. This may be the perfect man for you in your perception, but I think YOU come first as far as You are concerned. This is a lesson that I have been learning recently....It is a good lesson to learn and believe:}
  • fitnessjch
    fitnessjch Posts: 449 Member
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    You are not his ex.

    But the very fact that she sounds like she was a larger lady indicates that he does like curves, so maybe he likes you as you are.

    But you need to be happy yourself, and if he loves you, he will carry on loving you even if you are lighter.

    YOU need to be happy. If you have gone on a weight loss program, you have done it because you want to be lighter, so that would make you happier. You cant stop if you dont want to just because he wants you to x
  • jdavis193
    jdavis193 Posts: 972 Member
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    Okay, so I have a dilemma...my boyfriend of almost 3 years is asking me to "Please not lose anymore weight". He likes my "curves" and the way I am now, but I'm only halfway to my goal. Part of me thinks that he's just scared because he lost his ex-wife after she lost over 100 lbs to another man. The other side of me wonders if he does just like my curves...he seems attracted to my body. I'm at a loss...I have a goal to lose another 20 lbs, but I I'm afraid that maybe my boyfriend won't be as attarcted to me. He would never say anything to the contrary about my body, he'll always be loving. So, I'm at a crossroad, should I be excited with the weight I've lost and stop here or should I continue on to my goal? Most of my family says the same that I've lost a nice amout and should be pleased and not try to over-achieve. My Mom, says keep going don't let a man decide what's right for you. Now I'm asking my MFP friends for your opinions.


    You should do what makes you happy. Trust me on that.. Explain to him that this is for you and noone else. See if he even wants to work out with you.

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